You Rock My World

by Juliana Stone

  Fear of commitment.

  When the silence grew so big it, pressed down on them, he broke it. His voice was resigned. His eyes shuttered.

  “I’m going back to the city. I’ve got to start working with my trainer. I’ve got to get ready for the upcoming season. I’ve got a game in two weeks. Labor Day Saturday. A charity game for our inner-city foundation. There will be a ticket for you at the door. If you don’t use it, then you won’t hear from me again.”

  “Travis.” But she couldn’t speak. It was as if her throat was paralyzed.

  “I’m being the good guy here. I’m letting you have this time to figure your shit out. If you do. If you decide that we have a future together, come to Detroit. If I don’t see you, then I’ll know.”

  He walked past her, and she jumped when she heard his truck door slam shut. The engine roared to life, and she turned in time to see his taillights disappear down the street. Wet and shivering, Ruby walked back to her car and slid inside, turning up the heat and adjusting the blanket for Tasha to sit on.

  The frayed brim of Travis’s ball cap caught her eye. Shit. A keening noise erupted from inside her as she grabbed the hat and crushed it to her chest. Later, when she finally calmed down and made it through the doors of her home, she lay down on the bed that still smelled of Travis, pulled up the sheets, cradled the cap in her arms, and eventually went to sleep.

  Chapter 25

  Ruby ran around her home like a chicken with its head cut off. She had less than an hour before the car service picked her up and so much to do. Her bedroom was a disaster, clothes strewn everywhere, two suitcases open near the door, but empty, and the shoes… She sighed when she saw the pile. When had she become a shoeaholic? Was that even a word? And did she really have time to worry about shoes?

  No. No she did not.

  She was nervous. Holy hell was she nervous. She just needed to find her list, and she’d be okay. She rooted around the top of her dresser and paused. Was that her cell phone? It had been pinging off and on all morning. Whatever. She had no time to chat. Excitement made her heart palpitate.

  She was really doing this.

  She checked her watch, looked at the pile, and got started. She tossed in enough outfits to last at least two weeks, as well as sexy nightwear, see-through bras, and underwear that was so skimpy, why bother? Which, of course made them mandatory.

  Tasha watched from the corner of her bedroom. The dog wasn’t dumb. She knew something was up, and she knew that something involved her master leaving. The dog sighed as she turned in a circle and then flopped down in the middle of her bed.

  “You’ll get spoiled, princess. Don’t worry. Uncle Ryder will be here soon.” Ruby bit her lip and held up a red dress with a plunging neckline. She’d never worn it, mostly because it was sexy as hell and she’d never had an occasion to. Until now. She tossed it into the suitcase and then headed to her bathroom to grab the toiletries she needed.

  By the time she was packed and ready, she had less than ten minutes to spare. She placed her luggage near the front door and tapped her foot, eyes moving around the room. Ah. Her cell phone. She scooped it off the island and tossed it into her purse before deciding to take one last look in her closet.

  She’d just pulled a sleek black dress off its hanger when the doorbell rang. Shoot. The driver was early. Ruby tossed the dress back inside the closet, where it landed in a pile on the floor next to all the other rejects. She’d deal with the mess later.

  She was halfway to the front door when she remembered something and ran back to her bedroom, hopefully for the last time, and grabbed Travis’s old ball cap from the night table beside the bed.

  The doorbell rang out once more, and she reached down to kiss the top of Tasha’s head, and gave the little girl a scratch under the chin. With one last look around, she headed back to the foyer and yanked open the door, an apology on her lips.

  But it wasn’t the driver who stood there, and her apology died.

  Sidney’s eyes were swollen and red-rimmed. Her expression was so inconsolable that Ruby’s heart dropped.

  “I tried calling, but…” Sid’s voice caught, and she grimaced. “Ruby,” she whispered. “It’s Ry.”

  “What do you mean?”

  Cold. She was so damn cold. Even though the sun beat down and an August heatwave had rolled into the area, she shivered. Ruby felt the blood drain from her body. She sagged against the doorframe and struggled to speak.

  Sidney struggled to speak but it didn’t matter. Ruby cut her off.

  “What are you trying to say?” She licked dry lips. “He’s coming here to get Tasha.” Her voice rose, her words almost a shriek. “He’s babysitting her while I go and make things right with Travis.”

  Sidney shook her head slowly. “No,” she whispered. “He’s not.”

  “What do you mean he’s not? Did he hurt himself?” Anger hit her square in the chest, and she pushed off from the door. “What did he do this time? Get drunk at the Coach House last night? Is he on a bender with one of the floozies he likes to screw? Is he still sleeping it off?”

  Sidney just shook her head. She reached for Ruby, but Ruby backed away. She didn’t want to be touched. She didn’t want this connection. Not this one. Because she knew it was bad. It was going to rip her heart out.

  She whirled around. “I need to call him.”

  “You can’t.” The words came out of Sidney in a rush. “He can’t… You need to come with me.”

  Slowly, Ruby turned around. The car she’d hired to drive her to the airport had pulled in behind Sidney, and the driver stood a few paces away.

  “I’m here for Miss Montgomery.” He tipped his hat and looked at both women. Ruby was silent for a few seconds while she tried to gather her thoughts and the strength to speak.

  “I’m so sorry,” Sidney said to the man. “We have to cancel. We’ll make sure you’re looked after for your trouble.”

  “Of course.” He looked at both women, nodded, and then drove off.

  “Ruby.”

  Startled, Ruby looked at her friend. “I was supposed to go see Travis.”

  “I know. But you need to come with me.”

  “Ryder isn’t at home is he?”

  “No.”

  Her stomach turned over, and she thought she was going to puke. “Where?” she whispered.

  A tear slid down Sidney’s face. “The hospital.”

  Chapter 26

  Labor Day came and went. Ruby never showed, and Travis Blackwell did his best to put the woman and their past behind him. He kept his word. He didn’t pick up the phone and call. Didn’t reach out to her brother or Sidney or anyone, for that matter. He put his head down, spent his days at the gym or on the ice and worked his ass off. He was in the best physical condition he’d ever been in. With the young rookie Hal Oberman looking sharp, he needed to be.

  Because this was all he had.

  He glanced around his condo, taking in the sparse modern furniture, the minimalist art on the wall, the black and chrome and utter lack of character. He’d thought it was cutting edge when he’d first seen it. The interior designer had said so.

  The interior designer was full of crap. He missed the cabin. He missed the lake. He missed…

  “Jesus, Trav. Stop whining and get your shit together.” He straightened his tie, grabbed his keys, and headed to Little Caesars Arena. The home opener was tonight, and he needed to focus. They were playing the defending Stanley Cup champions, the Red Wings rivals, and it was a big game.

  He got to the arena before anyone else. Like most athletes he knew, he had a routine that he followed before every game. His included running to loosen up then quiet time to focus and prepare. By this time, the rest of the guys would arrive, and he’d stretch and get limber.

  It was what he did. Without question. Not unlike how he always wore black laces on his left skate, and white on the right.

  The arena was new, and he enjoyed his run, ending with a twenty-minute work
out session in the gym. By the time the rest of the guys showed up, he was ready to go and full of nervous energy. He grabbed a Gatorade and headed out of the dressing room, his intention to walk off some of the energy before he got into his gear.

  Zach rounded the corner. “Hey, I been looking for you.”

  “What’s up?”

  “Your family is here.”

  Travis was surprised. He hadn’t talked to anyone over the last few weeks. He’d been busy, and he’d been avoiding. He thought back to several messages left on his voice mail. Messages he’d yet to listen to.

  “I took them up to the lounge, but if you get your ass in gear you’ve got time to see them.”

  “Thanks.” Travis rolled his shoulders and sprinted up the stairs that led to the players’ lounge. It was a luxurious suite, big enough to accommodate wives, girlfriends, and family. He strode inside, nodded to a few of the ladies he knew, and stopped when he spied his father, Darlene, and Wyatt.

  “Hey,” he said gruffly, walking over to them. His dad didn’t look to great. His color was off, but he smiled and shook Travis’s hand.

  “I thought I’d better get a game in before this old ticker craps out.”

  “Hush,” Darlene admonished. She kissed Travis’s cheek. “Wyatt told us this game would be good, so we decided to come to the city. I hope you don’t mind. Your friend brought us up here.” She held up a wineglass and whispered, “I helped myself to wine.”

  He chuckled. “That’s what it’s there for.”

  Travis glanced at Wyatt. “Nice seeing you, bro. Where’s Regan?”

  “She’s at the hospital.” His brother had a weird look on his face. “I guess you don’t know.”

  “Know what?” Travis’s gut clenched. He knew that look was trouble.

  “Ryder Montgomery. He’s not good.”

  “What does that mean?” He glanced at Darlene, who was shaking her head slowly as she came up beside Travis.

  “He OD’d Labor Day weekend. Apparently, it was accidental, but he’s been on life support ever since.” Wyatt’s shook his head, face grim.

  Shit. Travis and Ryder weren’t close. Hell, the guy had probably jumped for joy when he left town, but still…

  Darlene sighed. “Poor Ruby. She was supposed to leave for the weekend, from what I heard. Was all packed and ready to go, but then she had to rush to the hospital. He’d flatlined, but they managed to bring him back. Now he’s in a coma.” Darlene looked at Wyatt. “What did Regan tell you? What is the latest?”

  “She has to make a decision this weekend.”

  Wait. “This happened Labor Day weekend?”

  Wyatt nodded. “Sorry, bro. I thought you would know.”

  Darlene began to speak, and his father joined in. Travis had no idea what they were saying. He dropped his gaze as his mind raced. Was it possible she was coming to see him? He thought of her alone in a hospital room with her brother. A brother who was dying. A brother she had to… He glanced up sharply.

  “Wyatt, what do you mean she has to make a decision?”

  Wyatt shrugged. “Whether or not to pull the plug.”

  No. No way. Ryder was all the family she had. How in hell was Ruby going to come back from this?

  Travis looked at his family. “It means a lot. You guys being here.” His thoughts were dark and chaotic. “But I gotta go. I have to be somewhere else.”

  “What do you mean?” Wyatt looked confused, but Travis paid him no mind.

  He ran out of the lounge and didn’t stop until he stood in front of the coach’s door. Travis didn’t think. He didn’t hesitate. He knocked, opened the door and walked in.

  Chapter 27

  “Can I get you anything?”

  Ruby glanced up as Regan Thorne walked into the private hospital room. Doctor Regan Thorne. Ryder’s doctor. How ironic.

  “I’m fine. Sidney went to let out Tasha and is bringing back coffee.”

  Regan stopped at the monitors and checked each and every one of them carefully. All those machines and tubes and wires keeping a body alive that wouldn’t be able to on its own. Ruby hated them. Hated the sounds they made. Hated the neon-colored blips, even though she need to see them.

  She inhaled a big gulp of air and shuddered. She was so damn tired. Regan placed a hand on her shoulder, her voice kind and gentle and soft. “I’ll check in later.”

  Ruby could only nod. She didn’t trust herself to speak. She looked everywhere but at the body on the bed. At the shell that belonged to her brother. A brother who existed only through the grace of these damn machines.

  She got to her feet and crossed to the window. It was dark, but she had no idea what time it was. She was wearing the same clothes she’d put on the day before. Old track pants, a big baggy sweatshirt, and her UGGs. Her hand crept up to the hair piled loosely on top of her head. Had she even brushed it? God, she must look awful.

  She giggled at that. A hysterical, harsh sound. Her brother was dying, and she was worried about whether she’d brushed her hair or not.

  Ryder.

  God. She turned abruptly and walked to the bed. She stared down at him. He was intubated and had lines going in his arms, tubes everywhere, it seemed. It was awful seeing him like this.

  Awful and infuriating. She was so damn mad at him, her body shook. This roller coaster she’d been riding with him was almost over, and she didn’t want it to end. How crazy was that? How many times in the past had she prayed for it all to end? Not for her brother’s death. But for the emotional hurt he put her through. And now? Now she’d take it every single day if it meant he would open his eyes and look up at her.

  She took his hand and gently clasped her fingers through his. He was cold. Or maybe it was Ruby. She listened to the machine that kept his lungs working. The slow hiss in and out. It was the worst sound in the world. He would hate it as much as she did.

  “You have to come back to me, Ry.” Her voice broke. “I’m sorry I wasn’t there for you. I’m sorry that I was too wrapped up in my own crap to notice you were failing. It won’t happen again. I promise. But you have to fight this. You have to try harder. You’re all I have, and…” She shook her head and watched a tear splash onto his hand. “I can’t do this again, Ry. I can’t. I don’t want to be alone.”

  “You’re not.”

  Ruby wiped at her face and turned around. “Travis? What are you… How did you…”

  He didn’t give her a chance to say another word. He ate up the space between them in two long strides and enveloped her in his warm embrace. Ruby had tried so hard to be strong. For Ryder. For Sidney. For herself. But right now, in this moment, with Travis holding her close, she let everything out.

  All the pain and heartache she’d accumulated over the years. Her mother. Her father. Their baby. Ryder. All of it came out, and when she was done, when her body was empty of tears and her throat raw from crying, he carried her to the sofa.

  He held her close until her body stopped shuddering. Until the chills and chattering teeth ceased. Until she fell asleep, safe and warm in the arms of the only man she’d ever loved.

  “You’re not alone,” he whispered. “I’m here for as long as you need me to be.”

  She didn’t hear the words, but it didn’t matter. She felt them. She felt him. Travis had come back to her, and this time, she wasn’t letting go.

  Epilogue

  Ryder Montgomery was laid to rest a week later. In the end, Ruby didn’t have to make the decision. His heart, weak from years of addiction, gave out. For that, she was grateful. He wasn’t going to suffer anymore. His pain didn’t exist where he was now.

  His wake was held at the Coach House, and the many folks who’d come to share stories had warmed her heart. Her brother might have battled addiction most of his adult life, but he’d been kind and funny and talented. And no one was shy to let her know these things. These important things she would hold close.

  It had been a difficult few weeks, and he would be missed. Ruby knew the
hole in her heart would never go away. But the pain would lessen, and there would be room for joy and happiness. Until then, she took one day at a time, glad she had someone in her corner.

  Travis had come back to her. He’d missed the first few games of the season to be with her, with meant more than she could express. He’d been her rock. Her shoulder to cry on. The one to listen as she raged against her brother’s fate. He held her up when she was in public, and held her close when they were alone at night.

  They’d fallen into a routine of sorts. He flew back to Crystal Lake when he could and for now it would be enough. She had things to take care of. Loose ends to tie. And then she could think of the future.

  It was Thanksgiving weekend, and she was packing up the house she’d grown up in. Getting it ready to sell as soon as she could. She glanced around, taking in the worn linoleum, the tired wallpaper, and the well-used furniture. This house held her past. It held her history. But it was only part of the story. A small part.

  “What about this?” Travis walked into the kitchen holding a small white box in his hands. He’d flown in after a game the night before and wasn’t expected back in Detroit until the following evening. They were expected for turkey dinner at his dad’s place, but had decided to work on this house for a few hours before they headed back out to the lake.

  “What is it?” Curious, she walked over and peered inside the box. “Oh my God. Where’d you find this?”

  “Your bedroom.”

  A sly smile touched her mouth. “My bedroom is off-limits. You know the rules.”

  Travis laughed and grabbed her close. “Those rules don’t exist anymore. Hell, they didn’t exist when they existed. How many times did I sneak in your window so we could get busy when your dad was out here drinking his beer, watching Jeopardy?”

  She laughed. “Too many times to count.” She reached into the box and retrieved a delicate gold ring. It was thin, barely enough gold to matter, with a small opal centered around diamond chips.