Emily's Choice

by Heather McCoubrey

  “Ahhh!” Emily yelled.

  Grace got up on the bed and sat behind Emily. Pulling Emily against her body, she spoke firmly into Emily’s ear. “Breathe, Emily.”

  Grace glanced up at the nurse and mouthed the words requesting Dr. Robbins’s presence now. The nurse nodded and quickly left the room.

  Grace poured some of the ice water on a washcloth from the bedside table. She held it to the back of Emily’s neck for a few seconds and then moved it to Emily’s forehead. Back and forth she went until the next contraction.

  Emily squeezed Grace’s hand and the bed railing, bending and raising her legs. “I want to push,” Emily moaned.

  “Not yet. Wait for the doctor.”

  “I can’t!” Emily yelled.

  A few minutes later, Dr. Robbins walked into the room. “Doctor, please,” Emily begged. “I have to . . . Owwww!” Another contraction ripped its way across her abdomen. Gritting her teeth, she couldn’t wait another second. Bearing down, she pushed with all her strength and shrieked with the effort.

  “Emily!” Dr. Robbins yelled. “Stop pushing!” She stuck her head between Emily’s legs while the nurse called out the blood pressure numbers from the past thirty minutes. She quickly and gently checked Emily’s progression. “You aren’t fully dilated, Emily. You have to stop pushing or you’ll rupture.”

  “It hurts,” Emily wailed. “Oh God, it hurts!” she screamed as another contraction took hold.

  “Doctor, this isn’t normal. What’s wrong?” Grace asked urgently.

  Dr. Robbins put her hands on Emily’s belly to feel the position of the baby and then checked the fetal monitor print out.

  “I’m going to set up an O.R. The baby is in distress, and we need to get the baby out. I’ll be right back.”

  Dr. Robbins rushed out of the room, and the nurse began to prep Emily for surgery. “Ma’am, I need you to get off the bed,” the nurse said kindly to Grace.

  “Mommy!” Emily shrieked. “Oh God! Please make it stop!” Emily hunched over her belly, hoping the new position would lessen the pain. One second it felt as if she was being torn apart from the inside out and the next there was nothing but sweet oblivion from the pain. Emily sighed with relief and turned her head to the man sitting beside her. “Who are you?” she asked in a hoarse whisper.

  “Dr. Stark. I’m your anesthesiologist.”

  “She’s looking a little green, Stark,” Dr. Robbins said.

  Dr. Stark whipped a bowl in front of Emily’s face to catch the vomit just as Grace walked into the O.R. She raced to Emily’s side.

  “Is she okay?”

  “Yes,” Dr. Stark assured her. “It’s a fairly common reaction to the anesthesia.”

  Grace stood by Emily’s head and held her hand. “I’m here, darling,” she whispered in her ear.

  “Emily?” the doctor asked.

  “Hmmm?” She smiled up at her.

  “I’m going to start now. You’re numb from the chest down. Can you feel this?”

  Emily felt a slight tugging but no pain. She shook her head and closed her eyes. “Whatever you say, Dr. R. I trust you.” Emily smiled, eager to meet her precious daughter. Dr. Robbins nodded and got to work.

  The next thing Emily heard was the sweet, sweet sound of her daughter’s cry. “Sadie?”

  “Indeed she is,” Dr. Robbins announced happily. “You have yourself a beautiful daughter.”

  Dr. Robbins raised Sadie over the barrier, and Emily smiled. “Can I hold her?”

  “For just a couple seconds,” she said, placing Sadie on Emily’s chest before closing up Emily’s incision.

  Emily felt her heart explode with love as she gazed at her daughter. “Oh, you’re so perfect,” Emily said softly. She trailed a finger along Sadie’s cheek and circled the impossibly tiny ear. What a miracle.

  This tiny, perfect human belonged with Emily. She was Emily’s special gift from God. A gift she’d never take for granted. She fell in love with her princess at first sight. Nothing and no one would ever come between them.

  A nurse came to collect Sadie, and Emily’s arms tightened involuntarily when the nurse tried to take her. “No, not yet. Please?” Emily pleaded.

  “I’m sorry. I’ll bring her back in a couple of minutes.”

  Emily forced herself to relinquish Sadie.

  “She’s beautiful, Emily. You did amazing,” Grace gushed.

  “She’s perfect, Mama G.”

  At this moment, she didn’t know what the future held in regards to her friends or family, her new life in Boston, or even with Jason. What she did know, though, was that her heart belonged to Sadie, and she made a promise to God, right then, to love, cherish, and protect the miracle gift He had bestowed on her.

  *****

  “She’s resting now. The baby, oh my gosh, the baby! Sadie is just beautiful, Jason,” Grace gushed.

  “Do you have a picture?”

  “Yes, I’ll send it right now. I don’t know why I didn’t think of that sooner!”

  “I’m online now and there’s a flight, a red-eye, tonight. I have plenty of time to make the flight.”

  “What time does it arrive in the morning?”

  “A little after nine.”

  “That will work. I can pick you up on my way to the hospital.”

  “I’ll be a mess. Maybe I should catch a cab, get cleaned up at the hotel, and then make my way to the hospital?”

  “If you’d rather, that would be fine.”

  “I think so. I don’t want to look like a bum when I see my daughter for the first time.”

  Grace laughed. “Fair enough.”

  “Oh, Grace, she really is beautiful,” Jason said with awe.

  “I know. Just wait till you see her in person. And hold her. She’s darling. Just the most perfect thing ever.”

  “I wish I was already there.” He sighed. “See you tomorrow.”

  “Fly safe.”

  “Oh, Grace,” Jason said quickly before she had a chance to hang up.

  “Yes?”

  “Thank you.” He hoped she understood. She was his lifeline, his partner in crime, even though she didn’t have to be. Her allegiance was to Em, but she was helping him. He owed her more than he’d ever be able to repay.

  “You’re welcome.”

  Jason hung up, a huge smile stretched across his face. He had a baby girl. She was finally here, healthy and safe. He couldn’t wait to see her.

  And he couldn’t wait to see Emily. He prayed this would be the boost he needed to win her back.

  Chapter Eleven

  “Landed,” Jason texted to Grace. “See you in about 2 hrs. Less if I can manage it. Will text when I get to hospital.”

  He’d carried his luggage on so he didn’t have to wait around for baggage claim. As soon as the plane stopped, he unbuckled and stood. He reached above his head and brought down his suitcase. Glancing at the little old lady he’d had the pleasure of sitting next to the whole way from Santa Fe, he reached up again and brought down her carpet bag. Not even kidding, straight out of Mary Poppins, she carried it with two hands.

  He put his book in the front pocket of his suitcase and put his phone and headphones in his front pocket. He’d sure gotten his money’s worth out those headphones by listening to music and pretending he didn’t notice the little old lady’s attempts at conversation. He’d obliged her for the first half hour of the flight, but when she’d gotten up to use the restroom—a total of ten times!—he’d put those babies in his ears and done his best to tune her out. He pulled out his wallet to double-check he had his driver’s license and, once satisfied, put his wallet back in his pocket and waited for his turn to deplane.

  Ever the gentlemen, he waited for the little old lady to walk out in front of him and cursed his manners as he had to walk behind her extremely slow gait the whole way up the Jetway. Once out into the terminal, he double-timed his pace and rushed outside to hail a cab to the hotel. He gave the cabbie the address to his hotel, not
far from the airport, and settled back into the seat to take in the scenery. Only his second trip to Boston, it was still new to him and took his breath away. The ocean blew his mind. It was incredible and he was in awe of the beauty of it. The dark blue water, the disappearing horizon, the ships, some of them massive but yet gliding gracefully across the choppy surface. It was an overcast day, much different than the bright sunny day during his first visit, and he was amazed at the difference in the shade of the water color.

  Ten minutes later, the cabbie pulled up in front of his hotel. He paid his fare and jumped out of the cab, dragging his suitcase behind him. Once checked in, he rushed across the foyer and hopped on the elevator. He barely cast a glance about his room. He deposited his suitcase on the nearest bed, removed his toiletry bag and a change of clothes, and hurried into the bathroom to shower, shave, and get dressed.

  Thirty minutes later, clean, refreshed, and clean-cut, he slipped out of the room and made the journey back to the lobby. It was then he realized he had no idea where he was supposed to go. What hospital were they at?

  He pulled out his phone and texted Grace. “Where am I going? What hospital?”

  He waited for what seemed like forever before Grace replied.

  “Oops, that would be helpful, huh? Brigham & Women’s Hospital - 75 Francis St.”

  “Thanks! OMW!”

  A short ride later, he pulled up outside the hospital entrance. Not wanting to show up empty-handed, he ducked inside the gift shop and found a beautiful Christmas cactus, in full bloom, for Emily. He thought it would be better than his usual bouquet of flowers, something that wouldn’t die after a week, and something, other than their daughter, to remember this special day by.

  He chose a small pink and white teddy bear for Sadie. It had the year stitched into the foot and a bright yellow bow around its neck. Its long fur was as soft as an angora sweater.

  After paying for his purchases, he went to the info desk and asked for directions to the maternity ward. He was surprised to find a high level of security awaiting him. Gone were the days when anyone could venture to the nursery and moon over the babies. Nope, now it was a lot like trying to get into Fort Knox.

  After showing his ID, calling Grace down to vouch for him, signing a form, having his picture taken, and then being issued his own hospital ID, he was finally on his way to meet his daughter.

  “Emily’s showering and then her doctor should be in to check her incision. Sadie’s in the nursery, so let’s go see her first.”

  “Works for me,” he replied, slowing his gait to match Grace’s. No need to rush now that he was here. “How’s Em doing?”

  “She’s sore, as expected. The birth was hard, and no one was expecting an emergency C-section to be necessary. She’ll have a longer recovery time now.”

  “Are you planning on staying?”

  “Yes, as long as she’ll have me.”

  “You know she’ll have you forever.” Jason smiled.

  “I know, but how long do you think Clint can manage without me?”

  Jason nodded. They stopped in front of the nursery windows, and Jason scanned all the bassinets. Grace had texted a picture of Sadie to him, but he couldn’t distinguish one baby from another—other than to know the pink hats were girls and the blue hats were boys.

  “There she is.” Grace pointed.

  Jason followed her finger and saw a baby with a polka-dot pink and white hat. His heart skipped a beat and then melted into a puddle at his feet. There she was, his baby girl. Sadie. She was the most precious and beautiful thing he’d ever laid eyes on.

  “Can I hold her?” he breathed, not wanting to take his eyes off her.

  “Not here,” she replied, patting his back. “Rules and regulations. You have to wait until we’re in Emily’s room.”

  “Will Em even let me in?”

  “Good question. I haven’t told her you’re here, yet.”

  “Of course not, I just got here.”

  “No, I mean, I haven’t told her you’re here. In Boston.”

  “Graaaaace,” Jason exclaimed. He swung his eyes to her face and stared hard.

  Raising her hands in defense, she shushed him. “Surprise, Jason. We need the element of surprise.”

  He shook his head. “Uh, uh—she’s going to be pissed.”

  “Probably,” she agreed. “But this is the best way, trust me. She won’t have had time to think about it, won’t have had time to come up with excuses or a chance to forbid your presence here.”

  “This seems wrong,” he hedged.

  “It’ll be fine. I’ll make sure you get to stay at least long enough to hold your baby girl. I promise.” She smiled and squeezed his arm. “Let me go down and see how she’s coming along. Stay here and ogle your baby.”

  He nodded and watched her walk away, knowing this was the wrong path but unable to stop the hurricane that was Grace Camancho.

  He turned back to the window and placed a hand on the glass. It made him feel closer to Sadie, and until he got to hold her, it was as close as he could get.

  She looked impossibly tiny in the bassinet, despite being swaddled. The blankets seemed to swallow her up, just her tiny face was visible. And that cute hat. He looked around, no other child had a hat like it, so he figured either Grace or Emily brought it with them from home.

  He stood like a statue, staring at this baby. He couldn’t wait to hold her. He hoped Emily would let him stay so he could get to know the baby. There wasn’t much happening around the ranch right now, so he could stay indefinitely. The only request his father had made was for lots of pictures to be sent his way. Sadie was his only grandchild, and it bothered him greatly that there was so much distance between where she would be growing up and where he lived.

  No, Jason’s mistake hadn’t only ruined his life. It had rippled out too many others’. Jason was all his father had left, and Joe had been over the moon about the wedding and the baby. His wish had been for Em to have lots of babies and she’d seemed to be on board with that wish.

  But then he’d gone and gotten piss drunk with the guys and Lila had happened. He hadn’t lost control like that since. A beer or two with dinner or while out with the guys was all he would allow himself.

  Argh. Would Em ever forgive him? He was betting on no but wishing on yes.

  “She’s just finishing up with the doctor,” Grace said, breaking him out of his reverie. “Let’s sign Sadie out of the nursery and bring her down to the room so you can hold your little darling.”

  “Maybe you should give her a little warning.”

  “She doesn’t need a warning. And besides, I’ve just had an epiphany.” She grinned hugely. “You’re this baby’s father. You don’t need permission to be here.”

  He felt like his eyes were getting a workout with all the eye rolling he was doing today. He loved Grace, he really did, but sometimes he wondered whether he should even listen to her advice.

  But it didn’t matter now anyway because they were at Emily’s door, and Grace was opening the door and walking through, pushing the bassinet.

  He held the bear and the cactus in front of him, a peace offering of sorts. It wasn’t what he wanted the gifts to be, but he had a feeling he was going to have to use them as such.

  She didn’t notice him at first as she only had eyes for Sadie. He was glad for it as it gave him a chance to drink her in. She certainly didn’t look like a woman who’d just given birth, and a difficult one at that. Her hair shone in the fluorescent lighting, she wore a light application of makeup and had on a stretchy pink tank top and a pair of black yoga pants. Her toenails were painted a bright and cheerful pink.

  As she held Sadie, her face was a picture to behold, full of awe and gratitude. She stroked one finger down the baby’s face, across her nose, and down the other side. She traced Sadie’s ear and gently caressed her bald head. She tucked her finger inside Sadie’s hand and placed a sweet and gentle kiss on her forehead.

  When she glance
d up, he could see tears in her eyes and just like that, the moment was gone.

  “What are you doing here?” she growled. “Mama G, did you know he was here?”

  “Of course I knew, I invited him. Not that he needed an invitation, mind you. He is the father, after all.”

  “I don’t want him here.” She turned her eyes to him and glared. “I don’t want you here.”

  “I came to see the baby, Em. Our baby.”

  Her eyes went to slits, and he knew, if she weren’t holding the baby, she would have launched herself at him.

  “Get out,” she hissed. The baby must have sensed Emily’s distress because she began to fuss. “Now look what you’ve done.”

  “He hasn’t done anything,” Grace chided. “She’s reacting to your emotions. Calm yourself down and the baby will relax.”

  “I’ll calm myself down once he’s out of here.”

  “He’s not going anywhere, and you’re going to grow up. You’re a mother now, stop acting like the baby you’re holding.” Grace gently took Sadie out of Emily’s arms and walked her over to Jason.

  “Uh,” he mumbled, trying to decide what to do with the gifts he’d brought.

  “Set them on the table over there and then have a seat. It’s time you met your daughter.”

  “Mama G,” Emily began.

  “Hush, child. He’s traveled a long way. It’s his turn.”

  Emily huffed and leaned back against her bed. She folded her arms against her chest and glared at her lap.

  “Support her head,” Grace instructed. “There ya go. Just hold her gently, close to your body. You got it.” She removed her hands and stepped back, a bright smile lighting her face. “You’re a natural.”

  “Oh, I don’t know about that. This is awkward, to say the least.”

  He stared down at her face and had an urge to trace Sadie’s face, just as he’d seen Em doing moments before. Unable to help himself, he was surprised at how soft her skin was. And her head wasn’t completely bald; she had the fairest peach fuzz he’d ever seen. Her eyes were a deep, dark blue, and he secretly hoped they’d stay that way.