Making Midlife Madness: A Paranormal Women's Fiction Novel (Forty Is Fabulous Book 2)

by Heloise Hull

  The scene ended and… started again? That was weird.

  Out of curiosity, I took the remote and flipped to the next channel. It was The Birds, too. That couldn’t be a coincidence.

  I opened the guide and gaped. Row after row of channels all had the same listing. Frantically, I began scrolling through them. Each channel, even the Home Shopping Network, looped the same scene from the same movie. Hundreds of crows attacked children as they ran from the schoolhouse. Mass chaos, pandemonium, fear.

  My heart plummeted.

  My boys.

  Coronis was the one who promised to keep an eye on them. Was she trying to tell me something? I lunged off my couch and scooped up my cell phone. My fingers shook as I dialed, and I had to restart three times before I finally got the number right. The rings echoed through my body as I waited.

  When no one answered, I hung up and dialed again. Then again. And again. Their cheery voicemail message was practically driving me mad.

  Behind me, a familiar sounding rip came from the front door. Someone was trying to get in. I ran and threw it open, but the street was deserted.

  “Aurick?” I whispered softly. “Are you there?”

  The anxiety was building inside of me. It felt like a weighted blanket covering my body, and I wanted to scream, to shake it off, to release the tension somehow. I had to get the hell out of here and find my boys.

  Without warning, a pressurized pulse bounded through the house. I ducked as all the pent-up energy discharged with a bang. My ears popped. My fingers tingled.

  What the eff was that?

  Tentatively, I felt around the barrier. Nothing! It felt normal, like I could walk out the door and never look back.

  So I did.

  I looked at Marla’s car in the driveway, getting ready to commit grand theft auto to track my sons down across state lines, when my phone buzzed in my hands. Josh’s face took up the entire phone, his eyebrows practically cross stitched in confusion. Or apprehension.

  “Josh!”

  “Hey Mom, what’s up? You called like a billion times.”

  “Not true. It was no more than thirty, at most,” I said hysterically, scaring a few squirrels in the yard.

  Josh laughed at that. Me, too. Then I laughed again, and again, and again. Soon, I was dry heaving and couldn’t care less. My boys were fine.

  “Mom, you’re being weird. Are you okay?”

  I wiped an errant tear from the corner of my eye. I couldn’t tell if it was a tear of relief or from my lingering fear. “I just wanted to check in. Again. How’s Jacob?”

  “We’re both fine.”

  “So, nothing’s going on? Nothing at all?”

  “There was an emergency last night. Someone pulled the fire alarm, but it was a prank.” At my face, he added quickly. “Not us, I promise.”

  “Your reputation precedes you.”

  Jacob butted his way into the frame, wrestling with this brother for a second. “We’ve been perfectly well-behaved this entire semester.”

  “By whose standards?”

  “Ours, of course.”

  “Hey, boys?”

  “Yeah, Mom?”

  “Remember when you were younger and we taught you about stranger danger?” Somehow both boys managed not to roll their eyes, but barely.

  “Uh, yeah,” they said in unison.

  “We never told you, but it was because you came seconds from being kidnapped.”

  The twins’ mouths fell open. “Are you kidding?” Jacob asked. “How come you never told us?”

  “You were young, the danger had passed, and I didn’t want to traumatize you further.”

  “What happened? And don’t leave out any of the details.”

  “A man was admiring you at a bookstore one day. I was by myself and tired. So freaking tired. Looking back on it, I don’t think I slept until you were both three. Anyway, he was cooing at you and making funny faces, and you were actually giggling instead of crying for the first time in what felt like a week. I closed my eyes for a second longer than I should have, and when I opened them, he had his hands in your carriers, like he was about to scoop you up.”

  “Oh my God, Mom. My whole life is a lie,” Jacob said, arm to his forehead.

  Josh shoved him. “When are you joining the drama club?”

  If they only knew. Their life, my life. All one big lie.

  “Who knows what would have really happened, but we decided to double down on stranger danger. I still don’t know if it was the right thing to do, but I’m telling you now. Be careful. Not everyone who appears friendly has good intentions. I know you’re smart, but if you’re out with each other and your guard is down… perhaps designate a twin each weekend to be sober. You can call yourselves something cool, like the warden of the wasted. Or, the sheriff of the shit-faced. You know. Something catchy.”

  They pulled a grimace, but didn’t say anything. Desperately, I blurted out, “I’ll give you a hundred bucks each weekend if you can prove it. Deal?”

  They quickly played rock-paper-scissors and turned back to face me. “Fine,” Jacob said, “I’ll go first.”

  Josh smiled smugly next to him. “Think of all the booze you can buy us with a hundred bucks.”

  I held up a finger. “You know, this is just a safeguard. I don’t think you should be drinking at all, but who am I kidding. You’re already tuning me out. Hello, boys?”

  They stopped trying to punch each other out of screen—yes, mothers can always tell—and snapped to attention.

  “Just… be careful. If something feels off, it probably is. Trust your gut and your twin. That’s it.”

  “You’re being cryptic, Mom. Are you sure you should stay in Italy all alone?”

  I kept my body blocked so they couldn’t see anything outside of my face and a tree over my head. “I’m fine and I’m not alone. Don’t worry about me. I love you. Study hard.”

  We said goodbyes, mine the only tearful one, as two figures strode down the quiet street. I’d recognize them anywhere. Manu and Aurick. It looked like they were arguing. And where was Luca? No… did that mean?

  Wait, what did that mean?

  When he saw me, Aurick broke into a jog and bundled me into his arms. For a moment, everything felt right.

  “How did you get outside?” he asked, pulling away and checking me from head-to-toe. Manu came up behind him, a hard look on his face.

  “I honestly don’t know. One minute the barrier was in place, the next it was gone.”

  Aurick exchanged a look with Manu, and I was reminded that, despite feeling as if one was on my side and one wasn’t, they both worked for the same team. It was good to keep that in mind.

  Manu grunted. “The Council has determined that they will not hold you any longer.”

  Aurick added, “From the sounds of it, you have Mestjet to thank for your release. I don’t think she liked anyone with the Eye of Ra being kept prisoner.”

  Hope flared bright. “I’m free to go?”

  Manu nodded. “For now.”

  That sounded ominous. Still, relief trickled through me like water raining down. I relished in the feeling. My twins were safe, I was free, Aurick was here. “What happened to Luca?” I asked, finally remembering the last piece of the puzzle.

  Aurick shifted his weight. “The Council decided he was also free to go. Because he didn’t technically kill anything that wasn’t already dead, the better option—to them—was to release him on probation. No blood magic or necromancy ever again. And no magic at all for a period of ten years.”

  My hair bristled. “Is this business as usual for the Council? To do nothing?”

  “It worked out well for you,” Aurick reminded me gently.

  “Sure, but I wasn’t trying to steal anyone’s body and turn them into a zombie.”

  “Body claiming,” Manu corrected. “That’s the proper term for what he was doing. It had nothing to do with zombies.”

  I gave Manu the hand. “I don’t care wh
at it’s called. I care about what he tried to do.”

  “I understand how you feel,” Aurick said, “but we will keep you safe. I promise. Speaking of which, we can go to Aradia now if you want.”

  Aradia.

  The name alone was enough to take some of the sting off of Luca’s get out of jail free card. I missed the smell of cypress trees and the salty tang of the sea. More importantly, I missed my friends.

  I let out a heavy breath. “I’m ready.”

  Behind us, Jim’s SUV screeched around the block and skidded into the driveway. I knew that road rage. He must be arguing with someone, and from the look on Marla’s face as she hopped out and slammed the door behind her, I had a pretty good idea with whom. Everyone did, including the squirrels.

  “Don’t follow me!” she yelled as she stormed inside.

  Jim wheeled around, that neck vein bulging again. “What did you say to my girlfriend?”

  “Little old me?”

  “Yes, little old you,” he mimicked.

  Next to me, I heard Aurick growl, and a second later, Jim’s laptop bag flew open and his papers scattered in the wind. Curtains drew back and noses peeked out as everyone watched Jim completely lose it on the patio.

  “Can’t think of a thing,” I said. “Well, thanks for the hospitality, but I’ve worked out all of my visa issues. Tell Marla to forward me her address. I’d like to send her something from Italy as a thank you.”

  I linked my arm through Aurick’s, and we walked into the setting sun, my heart a million times lighter than the last time I fled this house. I was free. I was going home. This was the best bon voyage present I’d ever gotten.

  Chapter Eleven

  Barcelona, Spain.

  October, 1071.

  Almodis de la Marche.

  My hair was braided into a crown on the top of my head with threads of bright gold woven through it. The scent of our prey rippled in the breeze, mingling with the smell of mushrooms and damp leaves decaying under pill bugs. It was a beautiful day for a hunt.

  I twisted a cabochon ruby set in gold around my finger. A sorcerer had dipped it in unicorn blood, and it was said to have the power to ward off poisoning, drowning, and other such curses. I hardly needed the luck. For once, I had done everything right.

  My many children were friendly enough to go to war for one another, despite having different fathers. When I tired of one husband, I changed my circumstances. The pope thought he could excommunicate me for double bigamy, as both of my first husbands were alive when I married my third. As if that would stand.

  I kept my family together. Eleven children, three husbands. Power sparked from my very fingertips. I was invincible.

  They say I was a stolen bride, a modern Helen of Troy. While it was true that I allowed myself to be taken by the Count just as Helen allowed it—in fact, abducting myself into his boat to escape my second husband—she could not prevent a war. She could not prevent the death of Achilles by the hand of Paris or the death of her lover, Hector. I fared better. I gave the Count two daughters and two sons. Twin boys. They were good boys. They crusaded together for the Holy Land. The very first Crusade. So I was to be the Mother of Crusades. The title fit me. I had but one problem, and he was staring at me darkly from under thick eyebrows and a jutting forehead.

  The first son of my third husband had asked to accompany me on a hunting excursion. Pere was the Count’s heir, but he knew as well as I that heirs could be tossed to the wind. He might try something.

  Let him.

  My husband favored me. I offered him things a son could not. A warm bed. A womanly embrace. Secrets and promises whispered into his ear at night. Perhaps, just perhaps, my stepson was right. Perhaps, I would seek to disinherit him in favor of my twins. Why not? Had the Count and I not risked excommunication to be together?

  “There,” said Pere pointing to the movement. “Shall we give chase?”

  I whipped my horse into a gallop, enjoying the sun and the feeling of strength beneath me. Good, solid horseflesh was something to be celebrated. A hunt, a feast, strong wine, and delicate cheese. Venison tonight.

  The stag we hunted was a worthy kill. His velvety antlers made his head droop with their weight. Moss hung like banners between the creature’s points. He almost appeared kingly himself in his manner, as if an old witch had cursed him and he merely awaited the kiss of a maiden. A maiden I was not. The only kiss I would give would be one of steel straight to his heart.

  We splashed across a stream, droplets spraying beneath our hooves. Suddenly, Pere’s mount took a twisted step. Pere let out a shriek. He fell off his horse, rolling down the embankment.

  The calculating, ungracious part of me thought to leave him behind. Claim death or dismemberment. It was only with a great heave of my chest that I circled my own mare around and jumped off her back.

  “Pere, are you hurt?” I called, crouching next to him, the folds of my celery green gown balled in a fist. “Pere?” I asked, more uncertainly.

  Something sleek and thin glittered in the mid-morning sun. He had hidden a misericorde under his tunic, the needlepoint of the dagger now forced against my throat. His face had blackened with hate. I could not move without it biting deeper. Already, blood drizzled from its point, cold against my skin.

  “Pere, your father will never forgive you.” My voice was choked and heavy with emotion. I mostly felt hate, but also panic. Had Pere already sent men to move against my twin sons? Would he slay us all?

  “We shall see. I am his rightful heir. Even if the pope reestablished your brats, I still am the first.”

  “Then let me go. I have no quarrel with you.” My lips barely opened, so afraid was I to move against the cold blade.

  I could see in Pere’s eyes that it was no use. Even if he wasn’t afraid of being disinherited, he hated me on principle. Nothing but my death would satisfy his bloodlust.

  In that moment of white hot pain, I saw my folly. Pere’s too. He didn’t think three steps ahead. He merely wanted me dead, and he would pay for his crimes. After my death, my sons would become heir to the Count.

  But it was all for nothing. My twins were just like my first. Stalked in the forest, one of my sons would be ruthlessly cut down, a murder orchestrated by his own twin. Ramon had been known as the kind, joyful one. Soon, he would be dead. His brother Berenguer would forever be known as the Fratricide.

  Knowing I had magic and not knowing—neither mattered. Knowing who I was and not knowing, it still ended the same. With my death. With my children’s deaths. Kingdoms crashed when I failed, or rose on shaky foundations drenched in horror when I succeeded.

  I grappled with Pere, my hands reaching for his throat. Everything was slick with my blood as if to baptize my many sins. His face twisted into something horrifying to behold as the blackness seeped into the corners of my vision.

  I prayed he’d rot as my body fell to the forest floor, the ruby on my ring as dull as my eyes.

  Chapter Twelve

  I was still grasping at my throat when the vision ended and Villa Venus came into focus. It wasn’t until Aurick pulled my hands off and put them around his waist, hugging me fiercely, that I felt the scratches from my nails stinging my skin.

  “Shhhh, you’re okay. You’re with me. Everything will be fine,” he continued to murmur, rocking me and brushing my hair back behind my ear.

  Tears dropped from the tip of my nose. It had felt so real. A thousand years ago, my stepson had murdered me in Spain. These were mine. My past lives, my past failures. The most intense visions always came from astral jumping. While this vision wasn’t as long as when I’d re-lived being Cleopatra, it actually felt more intense, as if I were truly dying in some desolate forest.

  Even if it took a week longer, I vowed to travel by mortal means from now on. I couldn’t bear these visions any longer. They had grown too strong, grabbing a hold of my mind and refusing to let go, no matter how much I struggled.

  I stayed in Aurick’s arms until the
pain of dying left only a lilting resonance that flitted across my soul. And then I held on for a few moments longer. He was strong beneath his coat—perfectly capable in a crisis, which I seemed to find myself in more and more.

  Slowly, the rest of the island came into view. Nonna barreled through the front door with Tiberius hanging on her shoulder. She looked as coiffed as always, her white hair styled into a beehive and more jewels on her fingers than a queen. Tiberius chittered excitedly like a chipmunk, and I could barely understand him. He leapt from Nonna’s shoulder to mine and began grooming me with soft, little paws. The Knight and his housewife materialized, somehow sensing my presence. Even Thessaly was here, a small corner of her mouth turned up in what could be considered a smile. Everyone was hugging and talking at the same time, melting away the remaining remnants of terror. A whore and a mother of twins, indeed.

  Finally, Nonna dog-whistled to silence everyone. Off in the distance, an actual dog howled in response.

  “I beg your pardon,” the Knight grimaced.

  Nonna sniffed, her delicate nose in the air and her kaftan swirling around her spindly legs. “That’s better. Mamma, how are you? Come here, let me see you.”

  She examined me with her hawk-eyed expression before letting me sink into her embrace. This felt right. I curled into the hug, letting my arms snake around her skinny waist.

  “Tell me everything,” I gushed, inhaling the sweet smell of Aradia as I pulled away. It was early in the morning here. Honey, cypress, saltwater—it was all beautiful. I’d only been gone a couple of days, but it felt like a lifetime.

  Without too much thought, I leaned into Aurick. Nonna arched an eyebrow at that, and I hastily straightened and pointed at Tiberius who was little more than a tiny but rotund ball of fur. “You’ve gotten huge!”

  He made an offended sound. “I’ll have you know I’m the perfect size for a rodent in the midst of hibernation preparation.”

  “Right, sorry.” I couldn’t stop grinning though. I was home. The vision was fading. I was no longer Almodis and I would not fail my twins. With my friends’ help, I’d stop this curse—and anyone who wanted my boys out of the way.