Certain Rules

by G. L. Snodgrass

  Wow! Where did that come from?

  “Don’t look so surprised,” he continued. “Things did exist before you were born you know.”

  I pondered what he said for a moment. The fact that my dad had a life before he met my mom was obvious, I’d never really thought about it. I’d grown up on stories about College, about the day he met my mom, stuff like that. But he’d gone to the same school as Mattie and I were attending. He had known the adults I knew, but he’d known them as kids and teenagers.

  “Did you know Katie’s mom?” I asked. Of course it was the subject of her father I wanted to talk about, but Grandfather is a little old fashioned. He wouldn’t say anything bad about a woman’s moral lapses. One of Grandfather’s golden rules was that a girl shouldn’t get pregnant at sixteen and shame on the boy that got her that way. I wondered what he’d think about a woman in jail for prostitution.

  “Yeah I knew Margret Rivers, but mostly as Jenny’s kid sister. She tagged alone on some of their adventures. They all hung out together, Stephan Carlson, Tommy Miller, The Carrs Brothers. As the boys got older, girls started to be included in the group. Jenny Rivers was one of them. Probably drove her father crazy. Their mother was an angel and made the best divinity in the county. Their father was a bit of prick though. Preachers can get that way. Had his nose so far in the air he would have drowned in a summer rain.”

  That summed it up in grandfather’s mind. Everyone categorized and placed in their holder. And I knew the conversation was over. He’d already talked more than normal. If I pushed it he’d shut down and get all prickly. He hated talking about things from before. He always said the past wasn’t important, let it go.

  Star left his mother and wobbled to the two of us. Grandfather stretched and ruffled the foal’s mane. Lost in thought. I wondered what he was thinking. He’d lost his only son, his wife who he adored, and his big powerful body was beginning to betray him. I swear to god a tear did not form in my eye, it was a piece of dust. I turned and wiped it away.

  .o0o.

  Katie

  The first day back after winter vacation did not start off the right way. Gina and Danny were hanging out at the front door with their gaggle of sheep. I know that sheep are flocks and geese a gaggle but that’s how I think of them. As an unmanaged gaggle following the slightest whim of the queen sheep.

  Danny was letting his hair grow out now that football was finished. Starting to curl at the back, the deep reddish brown hair looked like it’d been recently ruffled by Gina. She looked her typical perfect self in a black skirt and white blouse. It’s funny, but I don’t remember her being this put together last year. This was a girl who’d definitely come into her own, found her niche at the top of the heap and would do anything to stay there.

  She glanced my way and her eyes narrowed into a frown that could send a shiver through a great white shark. I’d never felt so hated before. Not even during the bad time. Then, I was simply something to be used. This was a conscious hate. My choice to support Scott reminded everyone what she’d done. How it must eat at her insides to not control everyone’s thoughts. It made me smile back at her.

  She turned away and whispered something to Nichol who looked my way as she listened to Gina. Nichols face drained of all color and she shook her head. Obviously she was not fully onboard.

  I dropped my head and tried to circle around the group blocking the hallway. The inconsiderate bastards didn’t seem to care that they were backing up traffic and that there were hundreds of kids stomping their feet to shake off the cold while they waited.

  Suddenly, Danny Carrs stood before me, stopping me in my tracks. He didn’t say anything but his eyes traveled over my face and body. It wasn’t in a sexual way. Believe me I know the difference. But a curious expectant look that seemed to catalog each feature. He didn’t smile, didn’t leer. I wasn’t pretty enough for that. Even in my wonderful new wool coat, I didn’t come up to his standards.

  Waiting for him to finish, I wanted to slap that sloppy grin that’d popped up. What made him think he had the right?

  “Do you want something, or are you looking for something new already,” I said, glancing to Gina a dozen feet away, deep in conversation with Nichol. She heard me, her head shot around to watch us, a scowl pinching her face in disgust and maybe a hint of fear.

  “If I was, believe me, you’d be the last person on earth I’d be interested in.” he answered.

  “Thank you,” I said and laughed. “That is one of the nicest things anyone has ever said to me.”

  He didn’t react, didn’t talk, just waited for me to figure out what was going on. I don’t know how long we’d have stood there, probably until sometime in May but Scott walked through the door and the entire dynamic of the hallway changed. Standing head and shoulders above everyone else. People couldn’t miss him.

  I felt the air change, my shoulders tingled for a moment and I knew he was near. Everyone else’s gaze followed his every movement as he pushed his way through the crowd.

  He stepped next to me and the tension ratcheted up a million degrees. They hadn’t worried about me. Scott was another thing altogether, I realized that they were afraid of him. Not just in a physical way, there was too many of them for that. No they also feared his moral superiority and the fact that he didn’t care what the queen and king said or did.

  He scanned the crowd and I could see his mind processing and figuring out what was going on. He sighed and pushed his way through the crowd and stepped next to me. Gently touching my elbow, he cocked an eyebrow asking me if everything was okay. I nodded and felt him relax.

  Turning towards Danny he smiled and said, “What’s going on, you guys talking to us now?” Turning to me he said, “I’ve told you as dozen times Katie, be careful who you are seen talking with. The wrong people can really impact your social status.” Then laughed and started me down the hall.

  Leave it to him to quickly and totally diffuse the situation. He’d shifted it off me and onto them like a Jujitsu move or something. It was beautiful.

  All thoughts of Danny and Gina disappeared. All I could think about was the guy next to me. Was he having second thoughts about us going to the dance? A quick glance didn’t give me anything. It was eating my insides, he couldn’t have been serious. Why did he ask, did he feel sorry for me. I didn’t know what he really thought about my mom and stuff. If he thought he was in social hell now. Imagine what it’d be like if everybody else found out about her. I would be a pariah throughout the town not just here in school.

  “So are you looking forward to the dance?” he asked. I swear he could read my mind.

  My books where held next to my chest as I walked next to him. I’d left my book bag at home; it didn’t go with my new jacket. “Yes I am,” I answered please to hear that I didn’t sound too desperate.

  “Good,” he said his voice strong and firm as he held my first period door open for me.

  For the rest of the morning, Scott was outside my class door and escorted me to my next class. My heart would race every time I saw him. I found myself thinking about Scott instead of my classes. Thankfully, the teachers were so used to not calling on me; I was able to slide through the day until lunch.

  Once again Scott was waiting for me. My face flushed when I saw him, I wasn’t used to all this attention. He wasn’t possessive or crowding me, I knew he was doing it to protect me from getting hassled by the clique.

  The cafeteria during lunch was loud like normal, things didn’t go all quiet when we walked in, not like is used to. Scott followed me into the line and loaded his tray with three sandwiches, a couple of hard boiled eggs and piece of apple pie. The man could eat. I grabbed a salad and a yogurt from the refrigerator.

  Scott jumped ahead of me in line and paid for both of our meals. I couldn’t believe it. A little part of me was pleased, another part was mad. Did he think I couldn’t afford it? What was going on? I started to tell him he shouldn’t do it but he shook his head and shot a look at
the cashier. Don’t let them know his look said. Don’t let them see your emotions. I accepted his gift and mumbled thanks.

  Mattie and Kevin were already at our normal table. The student body had collectively decided to never use that table unless they become infected with our social sickness. Their heads were together in some kind of intense discussion. Both of them stopped talking when we walked up.

  I sat next to Scott before I thought about how it would look. Hey, it was the least I could do, the guy did buy me lunch.

  Mattie looked real cute in a fitted striped blouse. Her hair was down and not in its normal pony tail.

  “Are you going to the dance next week?” I asked her. If she was going, maybe she could fill me in on what people wore. Plus, there would be someone there to talk to besides Scott. A nervous feeling fluttered through my stomach whenever I thought about the dance.

  “Yes,” Mattie said.

  “No,” Scott answered.

  “You’re not my father,” Mattie said, her brow narrowing in a frown. I could tell that Scott had upset her, but I also knew she wasn’t going to give in easy. Scott was in for a hell the next two weeks. I would be careful of my dinner if I was him.

  He ignored her and started un-wrapping his sandwiches. Kevin looked back and forth between brother and sister but wisely stayed out of it.

  “That’s a shame, I was hoping you could help me figure out what to wear,” I said.

  Mattie’s hand froze half way to her mouth. “You’re going?” Obviously Scott hadn’t told her. Why? Was he embarrassed? I wanted to shout about it from the school rooftop.

  “Yes, we’re going,” Scott said as he took a bite from his sandwich.

  Mattie’s hand with her apple fell back to the table. Kevin smiled then folded his arms across his chest and leaned back waiting for the show.

  “You’re going, but I can’t? You think it is perfectly okay for Katie, but not me.”

  “Katie’s an adult, she can decide for herself, you on the other hand are not yet sixteen. No way is Grandfather letting you go, especially not after I talk to him.”

  Kevin and I both scooted on our benches to give them room. I dreaded the coming explosion. Mattie narrowed her eyebrows and stared at her brother as if she wanted to push a dagger through his heart then carve it out and lay it on the floor so she could jump on it a couple of times.

  Her scowl deepened as she leaned forward. “You listen to me Scott O’Brian James, you aren’t the boss of me and you need to stay out of my business or you will live to regret it. Do you hear me?” With that she picked up her lunch and stomped from the table. Kevin looked at both of us and shrugged his shoulders before he jumped to follow her.

  “Well, that went better than I thought it would,” Scott said, shaking his head.

  “Do you really think you can stop her from going?” I asked.

  “No of course not. Nobody has ever stopped Mattie from doing what she wants to. Luckily she doesn’t push it. No way can I keep her from going.”

  “Then why, if you hold too tight you’ll end up driving her away.” My thoughts jumped to my mom, is that what had happened to her.

  “I know, but I’ve got to let her know there are limits. She’s going to push up against them, even step over the line occasionally. But if I don’t set ‘em, she won’t ever know when something is too far out of bounds.”

  Shaking my head I returned to my salad and tried to figure it out.

  “Besides,” he continued. “It’s sort of fun pissing her off every so often. That’s what big brothers are for, pushing buttons, and beating the crap out of any guy that touches her.”

  Chapter Twelve

  Scott

  Mattie wasn’t kind enough to give me the silent treatment. The girl didn’t know the meaning of the word. It was relentless. All of my many short comings constantly being discussed and emphasized. I tried tuning her out but like I said she was relentless.

  Ten days of banging pots and pissed off stares. I was very relieved when the day of the dance finally arrived. Mattie would get over it tomorrow and put it behind her.

  I tightened my tie’s knot and slipped on my suit jacket. It felt a little tighter across the shoulders. I wondered if I would I ever stop growing? A quick glance in the front mirror confirmed everything looked okay. My stomach tumbled. I don’t know why I was so nervous. It was just a high school dance. Gathering myself I looked for Mattie but couldn’t find her anywhere, she was probably out in the barn pouting. Telling Chrissy and Star about what a terrible brother she had.

  Deciding to leave her alone, I grabbed the flowers I’d gotten earlier in the morning and told Grandfather goodbye. He looked up from his paper and gave me the once over. Obviously meeting with his approval he nodded his head. “You’re taking her flowers?” he asked.

  “Yes sir, it’s not a formal thing, so guys don’t give the girls corsages or anything, but I thought I’d take her some flowers anyway. I picked up a pretty bouquet at the grocery store this morning.”

  “Okay, you have a good time and tell Katie I said hi,”

  It felt strange driving off without saying bye to Mattie.

  .o0o.

  I rang the doorbell and unconsciously held my breath. Her Aunt Jenny answered the door and invited me inside. She had a huge smile as she looked me over and nodded her head in approval. Her eyes got a little misty and I wondered if my dad had ever taken her to a school dance. Had he stood in this very spot and waited with sweating palms and racing heart like I was now.

  “Katie will be here in a minute, let me go get her,” she said then turned and left.

  My tie felt like it would choke me to death; how come it kept getting tighter the longer I wore it. Putting my finger between my collar and neck I pulled and tried to get some breathing room. I looked at my dress shoes and realized I’d picked up gunk somewhere along the way and quickly wiped them on the back of my cuffs.

  A sudden electric shock in the air made me look up and catch the vision of an angel in black. Katie stood before me in the sexiest dress ever worn. My mouth went dry and I forgot how to speak. I couldn’t help myself as my eyes traveled over her, taking in every detail. She wore a simple black dress that hugged every curve and ended at mid-thigh. Black high heels with ankle straps highlighted long luscious legs in panty hose. I pulled my eyes back towards her face but I couldn’t stop myself from staring at her narrow waist and curved hips. Her breasts showed a lot of cleavage but managed to seem chaste and pure at the same time.

  Her hair was up in some king of sexy French twist thing and she wore a black ribbon chocker necklace with a small ivory cameo. I swear my heart had forgotten to beat for several seconds then it let go and couldn’t stop. She was the most beautiful thing I’d ever seen. She wasn’t wearing her glasses and I wondered if she was using contacts. Her makeup was subtle but highlighted every one of her many outstanding features. The effect was entrancing. I couldn’t pull my eyes away and couldn’t think what to say.

  “Uhm, you look amazing,” I finally got out, breaking the ice.

  She blushed and looked down while saying “thank you.” Her voice sounded like angel wings brushing a cloud.

  I think I’d have stood there admiring Katie for the rest of the night but Aunt Jenny coughed interrupting my thoughts. She stood to the side, a hand hiding a smile as she looked between Katie and me. This time I was sure I could see a tear in her eyes.

  “Are those for me?” Katie asked indicating the flowers in my hand.

  “Uhm yes, I uhm got them for you.” Of course I had, how idiotic was I going to be tonight. This is ridiculous, get yourself together Scott. I took a deep breath and stepped forward and handed her the flowers. It surprised me that my feet remembered how to move.

  She took the flowers in both hands and brought them to her face and took a deep breath, pulling in the scent. She smile back at me and I thought my heart would melt. My god she was so beautiful. She’d always been pretty but this was so much more. I couldn’t
wait to walk into the gym with this girl on my arm. Every guy in the place was going to kick themselves for not paying her any attention before this.

  Almost immediately that thought was followed by the realization of what every other guy in the place would be imagining once they saw her in that dress. I was going to have to work hard not to pound their bulging eyes back into their heads. Maybe she’d be willing to keep her jacket on all night. I wanted to be the only one who ever saw her like this.

  She handed the flowers to Aunt Jenny and asked her to put them in water then leaned forward and whispered something to her ear. Jenny nodded as she wiped an eye.

  Katie smiled at her aunt and asked if I was ready?

  I nodded, lost in looking at her. I finally remembered my manners and took her long wool coat from the coat rack and held it for her to put on. She slipped her arms in then turned to look up at me. Her eyes got very serious for a moment. She looked deep into my eyes as if trying to figure out the secrets of the world. I wondered what she saw and found myself starting to fall into her deep green eyes.

  “Thank you for tonight,” She said. “No matter what, thank you.” She reached up and straitened my tie then brushed a piece of lint from my shoulders. An electric shock sparked where she touched me. We smiled at each other and an unspoken commitment passed between us. We would go through tonight together. Face it as a team, and enjoy ourselves while doing it.

  “Before we go, this is for you,” she said pulling a small tissue paper wrapped package from her tiny black purse. Surprised out of my skull I slowly opened the present. A white handkerchief with a beautiful letter S embroidered in cobalt blue rested in the paper. My brow furrowed in confusion and I looked at her for an explanation.

  “It’s the one you used on my locker. I’d have got it back to you sooner if it hadn’t taken forever to get that ugly red out of it. That and the fact that it took me longer than planned to get the S just right.”