My Insanity

by Martin Länger

  “Excellent,” Ciorci clapped. “Looks like we'll need another set of fresh bedsheets after all. Welcome to the Raven's Nest.” he said and gently guided them back into the inn, as he said his farewells to Nanbu.

  Both of the humans remained in their awkward silent stance. Even they weren't sure whether they should feel ashamed or enraged. How they felt about each other or even at what had happened. Before the two got their composure back, they were already inside with Ciorci emptying two large sacks of Hubris coins in front of their eyes.

  It was their first time seeing any kind of currency of this world up close. Onto every single one of them was an emblem embedded that depicted a great eagle, just like the giant statues at the city gates. The only difference had been that even the eagle was wearing a mask. Depending on how the light reflected off the coin, it shimmered either in a silver or a golden glow.

  “Now don't look at me like that,” said Delirias as he felt Gwyn’s restless gaze focusing on him. “It's not like one of you had the guts to do it, anyway.”

  Leandro shied away as Delirias said these words.

  “I … I-i was still thinking,” Gwyn mumbled after a slight pause.

  “Yeah, tell yourself that, little one,” the aspect stepped in front of Gwyn and almost pressed his face on Gwyn's.

  “You wouldn't have sacrificed your curiosity over something so trivial as the life of someone else. I wonder what that says about you? Kikiki… not that it's a bad thing.”

  After Ciorci handed them their coins, he prepared one of his finest rooms on the second floor. Delirias, and shortly after the whole group, left Ciorci with his other guests, thanking him for his patronage as the strange man waved them goodbye for now.

  None of them said anything until they reached the upper floor of the inn and walked into their room. A calm feeling engulfed the atmosphere as the two entered. It really retained the charm of an old inn, whereas everything was modeled quite minimalistic and was made out of wood, unlike the sparkling city outside. The first candles had already been lit as the sun had only a few more hours left. Additionally, they were residing in one of the rooms that had a little fireplace all to themselves, which was immediately seized by Delirias as they entered.

  “So, the day is already coming to an end? It felt way shorter than twelve hours,” Leandro sighed as he looked outside the window that was facing the paved city streets. More and more Personas were roaming the streets than before, as they prepared for the long festive night ahead of them.

  “Seems like it … and I don't think we have that much time on our hands to settle down,” Gwyn let out a sigh as well. “My first hours of daylight, and yet I can't bring myself to feel anything but exhaustion and discontent.”

  “Tell me about it. I’m still not used to it after my third time,” Leandro let himself fall on top one of the freshly made beds. “This world is so unbelievably strange and frightening. Every time I think I made it, it feels like I'm losing my mind all over again. Plunging deeper into my greatest fears than I ever wanted to.”

  “Maybe this really is some form of punishment,” Gwyn added, while Delirias quietly chuckled to himself in front of the fireplace.

  “This is not the time to be depressed,” Destare eventually spoke up.

  “At first I figured, that I should watch how you were doing Leandro, but my old heart still cannot bring itself to watch you like this. Haven't you two agreed to find an exit together? Don't let our fight with Malice be for naught! I still feel my bones cracking from that fight, hoho.” The knight-like aspect built himself up before them.

  “This is your time to shine, though we may have sacrificed a part of ourselves, we are not yet without hope or redemption.” Destare’s deep voice jolted through the room, as the two young men were somewhat uplifted by his kind words. With Delirias keeping his distance, both of them discussed the events and decided to rest for some time before discussing further plans. It seems like the spark inside of their hearts, that was so desperately clinging onto hope, hasn't yet faded into the darkness. Though one thing remained, even as the men were cracking jokes at each other. It was the ominous smile that was resting upon Delirias’ face.

  Chapter 21 – Pride’s Library

  A plan was set into motion. Upon further discussion between the newly found buddies, they were eventually starting to delegate their work. As the night slowly overtook the city with its mysterious charm and the first lamps were lit up again, they made their move as soon as they woke up. Leandro was on his way, although somewhat reluctantly, to purchase the required masks and equipment to stay anonymous during the masked ball. Meanwhile, Gwyn took up the task of visiting Pride’s Library - just as the deal with Lust stated. Not wasting any more time, he found out that only a few Hubris made it quite possible for him to know where he had to go. After, what felt like about half an hour, he finally reached the western outskirts of the city arriving at their desired destination. Delirias was the first one to gaze upon the unique structure of the architecture.

  “So this is it? A place to amass the monumental wisdom of this world? Doesn't seem like it. Shouldn't it be more crowded around here?” Delirias seemed genuinely surprised, just as much as Gwyn had been as they curiously looked around.

  “Let's add that to our long list of unanswered mysterious,” Gwyn followed up as he was hoping to meet someone else besides them. Ever since he started to travel with Leandro, he forgot just how uncomfortable he still was being alone with his aspect. It was the largest building in the city they had seen up close so far, with the only exception being the palace of Pride, which Gwyn had learned was directly located in the center of the city.

  The seed of doubt started to show its veiny roots, as the uncertain man thought about how tiny the possibility was to find his answers in this large building. Even more troubling was that he knew that if it were that easy, then this place would've been way more secluded and harder to find.

  In and of itself the library didn't look any different than the ones he was used to seeing himself, yet it stood in stark contrast to the rest of the city. No banners, signs or any of the usual decorations could be found. The only things that remained were the neatly cleaned paved streets and the warm light of the street lamps. Moonlight was reflected from the colorful glass of the windows, making it almost look like some sort of government building or cathedral. His first steps along the stairs to the door were fickle, cautiously putting his fingers around the doorknob. With a loud creak, the doors opened as he stepped through. Unlike the Blue Crayfish, he wasn't used to such a spacious design.

  A large hall stretched itself out before his eyes. Bookshelves many feet high were erected all around the place, resembling a labyrinth of bookshelves. It was filled with sparse lighting by the moon that shone through the colored windows.

  Gwyn halted upon feeling overwhelmed by the sheer mass of information lying before his eyes, but was promptly put into place by a love tap on his back initiated by his helpful aspect.

  “Fufuf, isn't it too late for such a self-crippling amount of doubt?” Delirias said with his usual grin.

  “Why does he always know when I'm anxious? I feel like my head's about to explode trying to deal with this world, yet I worry that dealing with this aspect might still be my biggest hurdle after all,” Gwyn thought before he casually tried to answer.

  “Heh, I guess you're right.” Still somewhat perplexed he fished for words before he noticed a ray of light swinging past them that illuminated the bookshelves for a brief moment.

  “What was that?!” Gwyn shouted.

  “Now this is what I'm talking about!” said Delirias in an excited tone and pulled his hood over his head before he started to sprint in the direction of the flash.

  “Hey! You cannot just leave me here,” Gwyn yelled, before he gave up on chasing after his aspect. Now he really was all alone between the dark and towering shelves. “Great, now what? I don't even have a clue where I could start.” A sigh escaped his lips.

 
; “Why so discouraged, mister?” echoed out of one of the corridors with the smooth voice of a man, who was about to close in on him.

  The clicking of his heels was getting louder and louder as the voice put one foot before the other. Desperately, Gwyn tried to adjust his eyes to the dark to recognize the silhouette before his eyes. Only after the man stepped into a ray of light, coming from the moonlight shining through the windows, was he able to notice the stranger.

  A dashing man in a purple suit, long black hair that was braided backward and a small pair of glasses with cornered lenses, appeared before him. His blue eyes were glowing a tiny bit because of the moonlight that was reflected off of them. He was small in figure and continued his advance. In his right hand he held a book, with his thumb in place instead of a bookmark, that he closed promptly upon raising his voice once more.

  “So? Usually, someone that sighs has something they want to talk about, or is my attention not sufficient for you taste?” he said in such an aristocratic tonality that Gwyn wasn't sure how to respond. He felt like he should apologize even though he didn't know for what. A short silence ensnared the two characters until the neat gentleman stepped next to Gwyn with precise steps.

  “Expectations are tricky beasts, aren't they? We set them for ourselves, envisioning every last detail. Stacking them as high as we can, yet we are deeply disappointed when they aren't properly met. Which won’t stop us from chasing them again when the sun rises once more. Doesn't that raise the question of whether we are partially responsible for our misfortune?” the man let out a sigh, almost as if he imitated Gwyn.

  “Excuse me. It was just a thought that was spooking inside my head for a very long time. I didn't mean to be rude. Though, I didn't expect someone who's in the library at such a time to be this unengaged.”

  “Y-yeah I guess I'm just a little nervous since I don't know my way around here,” Gwyn babbled about as he found his voice.

  “Hm?! You're human, aren't you?” the man remarked coldly.

  “I-is it t-that obvious? I h-hope you don't mind,” he stuttered, because even though the man didn't seem to be dangerous, he was feeling an immense aura that was pressuring him from deep within his body.

  “Not in the slightest, the opposite actually. But maybe you could do without making it too obvious for the opposition.”

  Gwyn's throat began to dry up, as he struggled to find the right words.

  “S-so you seem to be familiar with this place. Is this your library by any chance?” His curiosity ultimately helped him to regain some footing in the ongoing conversation.

  “Unfortunately not. I'm just like everybody else. I yearn for the stars and realize way too often that my own boundaries restrict my own capacities,” he said.

  “Then maybe this place could help us break through our own limitations?”

  “Hmpf,” the man chuckled slightly. “Maybe…” He closed his eyes for a moment.

  “I sincerely hope you don't search for something as devious or dull as an exit or escape. That is the first thing every human I've met does. 'Where is the exit?’ ‘Please save me' - yet I don't remember anyone being offered any help afterward or hearing about their rescue through the comfort of a simple door handle.”

  Those words were striking too close to home for Gwyn's taste. Still, he wasn't that desperate yet. Throwing away all hope of escaping once and for all was out of the question.

  “There has to be something! Anything. I don’t believe that nobody knows anything. Rather I believe that some are lying,” he proclaimed loudly as if stung by a bee.

  “Indeed, reflecting upon oneself is key, after all. Who knows, maybe we both will find what we are so desperately looking for,” he pushed his glasses upwards with a swift sleight of hand and put on a serious expression. “Where is your aspect, if I may be so blunt?”

  “He just up and left as we noticed a light flashing,” answered Gwyn who was somewhat ashamed.

  “Then he was probably looking for this,” the man stretched out his left arm until the flapping of wings could be heard. Black feathers slowly floated to the ground underneath them.

  A crow-like creature took its place on his arm and hopped closer to his shoulder. Except for its wings, nothing of the creature seemed to be covered in feathers or hair for that matter. It was more like a dark, slimy skin that encompassed their bodies. Three black claws on two feet, with a head that looked like a long neck ending in a single eyeball that was twitching around wildly.

  “Eww,” again he had underestimated how disgusting the creatures of this world could be.

  “Don't be shy, fellow pursuer of knowledge. These creatures are Velares. Certain individuals and the head of the library administrate them, but their main purpose is to help light the way and search for specific books. Even though they illuminate the way, you still have to recognize the truly important things on your own. That's a fact that has always fascinated me.”

  With a small movement of his shoulder blade, the entity flew away and seated itself onto Gwyn’s shoulder.

  “Of course they exist outside this library as well, though I haven't seen one of them in the wild before. Take him along on your search, and maybe Obsidare will help you personally. But beware, he can be a bit peculiar.”

  With these words, the stranger walked towards the exit.

  “Stop! Where are you going? I still have so many questions,” Gwyn abruptly shouted after him as he realized that he was leaving.

  “What do you think? I'm going to the ball, obviously. I haven't seen this many sins gathered in one place since ages.”

  “Wait, multiple sins? Does that mean Pride truly isn't the only sin currently in town?! Are you not afraid?” Gwyn seemed worried, even though they had just met, he didn't strike him as someone he'd want to lose to this hellish world order.

  The fine man managed to suppress his laughter at the last second and turned himself around to Gwyn, pushing up his glasses once more.

  “Not in the slightest. Even after all the things the sins have done, I don't think that they are inherently something evil,” he paused for a moment.

  “Furthermore, I think they are of the utmost importance, in light of what's about to happen to this world, but this is just a little theory of mine. You should form your own opinions, young gentleman. I hope that answer satisfies your hunger. For now, I will leave you to your own important tasks. One last word of advice, as a farewell gift; travel around in this world, of which you haven't even seen anything yet, and I'm sure your decisions will be freed from doubt.”

  Those were the last words the mysterious man left behind before Gwyn was alone once more inside the labyrinth of the bookshelf corridors. Only the creature on his shoulder, which even started to twitch with its neck, remained. With every twitch. the moist eye at the front started to squint, producing a ray of light in a cardinal direction, almost blinding Gwyn in the process.

  It felt as if it wanted to catch his attention. Unfortunately, Gwyn had learned to be cautious, which is why he also left the Velare untouched as he moved along.

  Without warning the creature flapped around its wings uncontrollably, making it hard for him not to strike out at it in hysteria.

  “Ho? Not bad, Gwyn, not bad. I didn't expect this much from you.” Delirias jumped out of the darkness and proudly presented what he had captured. It was another Velare, although unconscious, hanging headfirst from his fingertips.

  “Looks like we both have one now, or rather only one that’s alive and kicking,” Gwyn remarked.

  “Hey, it's not like I haven't tried my darndest. It wasn't easy to catch one of those little suckers, kikiki,” his aspect snickered.

  “So there's more of them.”

  “Many times more. Every dark corner is basically crawling with them. Though the ceiling is where most of them seem to reside,” his aspect pointed upwards, but Gwyn couldn't see a thing. It was too dark to even catch a glimpse of the ceiling with his human eye. Fear was slowly crawling up his back with it
s ugly hand, as the unknown was presenting itself so confidently right in front of his eyes.

  “Wonderful.” He took a deep breath to calm himself.

  “Hey, that's why you have me,” Delirias grinned as he pointed inward to his chest. “And I took only one of them, it was personal after all.”

  The young man shook his head while Delirias continued to marvel at his captured prey.

  “AHEM!” A loud voice cleared its throat before the duo. Out of thin air, a figure appeared in the shadows next to them, surprising even Delirias for a moment. Without hesitation, his playful expression changed, and he jumped in front of Gwyn, preparing his scourge – letting the Velare fall to the ground.

  “Tz, tz, tz. Clearly no manners whatsoever. That's not how you greet the Grand Librarian,” it hissed at them.

  They heard the sound of a cloak dragging over the ground, painstakingly walking towards their direction. Even the clicking of a wooden staff hitting the ground could be noticed. Irritated, Gwyn tried to get his Velare to look forward in order to illuminate the figure. But nothing happened. The creature flapped its wings as he tried to follow his bidding, escaping his grip, flying back into the darkness.

  “Now they're even touching our creation like it belongs to them. Preposterous,” a completely different voice rebelled.

  “Though it seems that it sat on his shoulder out of its own volition. How intriguing, we should investigate that.”

  “Yes, have another look. Information is key, after all.”

  “Out with them, I say! Someone without respect is not welcome in these holy halls.”

  “Maybe they only respect knowledge and not the living?”

  “It's been quite some time since the last human dared to enter this library.”

  Even more voices could be heard, all of them talking over each other, though all of them were coming out of the same direction the figure appeared from. The more rational and calm voices were also a lot deeper, as the high pitched ones tended to be a lot more aggressive and quick while talking.