My Insanity

by Martin Länger

  Two of the palace attackers, who looked more like street thugs than warriors, started to run towards Leandro, who in turn completely ignored them, turned his back.

  “Ha, will ya look at that. Accepting his fate like the insect he is.”

  “Lord Despair will be proud of us.”

  But before the two could even get close enough, they were already concreted into a wall by Destare’s steel fist, which by now had grown thrice in size, disposing of them in a single strike. The only thing the black-haired man was interested in was the amount of blood coming out of Destare’s armor. He continued to follow the direction the guests fled towards.

  “I don't think we should look around in this chaos. It's best that we stick to the plan and meet up at the Inn. Just like we were supposed to, if we get lost,” Leandro said in a way where he wasn't sure whether he believed himself or not.

  “Are you sure about that? Don't you want to help him?” Destare asked calmly while Leandro observed the erected puppets made out of glass, accompanied by the lovely paintings on the wall.

  “UAAAAGGGH!”

  Another scream could be heard roaring through the halls, not too far away from them.

  “What was that?!”

  “Looks like escaping wasn't so easy after all,” Destare commented, awaiting Leandro’s reaction.

  “We've gotta check it out,” he responded.

  “So, you really want to go? Didn't you just say that you wanted to leave?”

  “Thanks for putting me on the spot like that. It's not like I'm not shitting my pants, but can you really ignore someone screaming?!” the young man answered while his aspect smiling underneath his heavy armor without him noticing.

  Without further discussion, both of them rushed towards where the sound came from and found themselves into yet another hallway that was way too large for its own good. Having located the room the noises came from, they leaned against the door frame, eavesdropping on what was happening. Though Leandro still wasn't sure what he should be doing, he was once more confronted with a decision that was about to change his life.

  “Oh yeah, that's what I've been waiting for. Let's rock, Agneytta!” screeched the voice of an unknown man.

  “Please, why won't you help us? We are helpless and unarmed.”

  “When will you start doing something against that abomination?!”

  Many different voices followed, but the man silenced them.

  “Will you shut yer traps, ya self—important shitheads? I need some concentration over here,” he cursed out loud.

  “Interesting attitude, human. We don't like them either,” resounded from yet another voice that sounded like that of a big man, but at the same time reminded Leandro of a woman.

  “This is it, Leandro. What are we going to do?” whispered Destare, thinking Leandro’s big moment had come. “Leandro?!”

  Leandro had closed his eyes, being reminded of everything he had seen so far. Right when Destare was about to ask him once more, he opened his eyes in a flash and reminded himself of his time with Gwyn.

  “Ksk. Why do I have to think of that moron now of all times.”

  “Leandro, are you alright?”

  “We are going, Destare.”

  “We're fleeing?” the aspect seemed not surprised.

  “No, we will face the situation. That is what he would've done. At least I think he would have, and I can't let that twerp think badly of me.” He tried to smile, but deep down Leandro was still afraid.

  Nonetheless, he managed to take the first step, trying to face the bizarre events that were always unfolding before his eyes. It was a constant battle with a feeling of helplessness and sheer fear, but just once he wanted to be one that overcame it by himself.

  “Hey, you there! Help us! That brute over there has lost his mind.”

  As soon as he and his aspect entered the room all eyes were turned towards them. Under tears and screams of help, the cowering guests were extending their arms towards the young man. While they have been hiding in fear in a corner, Leandro saw three other characters giving him a strange look.

  “Greeaaat, another aspect,” moaned the rude man from before. “You know what? No! Get lost, dude. This is my bounty,” he yelled in an overly aggressive tone and promptly a figure appeared next to him, almost as tall as he was, dressed in a dark-green garb.

  “What? Bounty?! What the-” Leandro’s eyes were twitching the longer he remained conscious of the scenery.

  Everywhere corpses were scattered from the ongoing massacre. Most of them were still in their costumes, drenched in blood, missing limbs, having their masked either ripped off or destroyed entirely.

  “Hey, pretty boy, are you even listening to me?!” the man addressed him once more, as Leandro was about to lose it, giving it his all not to faint.

  Eventually, it dawned on him just how much he hated what he chose himself. His feet were shaking, and his heart pounded like crazy. Not being able to bear any more of it his feet gave in and he sank to the ground.

  “What are you doing?! Help us.”

  “Why won't anybody rescue us?”

  “We are rich, don't you know? We will give you anything you want. Just do something.”

  The desperate guests tried to persuade Leandro once more but were yelled down once more by the man.

  “Pathetic,” he spat on the ground. “Looks like that dude took on more than he could chew. It's time for plan B, Agneytta.”

  “You are quite amusing. I'd like for you to continue, but I'm in somewhat of a hurry.” There it was again. A deep voice that sounded like a man and woman alike, as if two persons were talking at once.

  “Is that so? So you fear that your 'Lord Despair' is failing, huh?” the man taunted him.

  “Not in the slightest. Though Lord Despair has expected much of us at the borders, we will not falter in the face of such a flimsy palace,” the deep voice said.

  “Destruction is necessary for new life to blossom, leading to perfection.”

  Leandro overheard their conversation, though he was still busy getting his body back under his control with Destare trying to comfort him. Never before has he felt so useless. It wasn't like it had been with Malice. He took the initiative and immediately crumbled as soon as the slightest chance of danger arose.

  “What was I thinking?! This is insanity and suicide all at once. I thought that when I make the first step on my own, that the rest will somehow work out. BULLSHIT!” His mind was racing with thoughts of self-loathing.

  “Why does everything here have to be so gruesome and crazy? All of that shit with Malice was already enough, and I don't even know how I survived that one. We could've freakin' died! I JUST WANT TO GO BACK TO MY MUNDANE, BORING, OLD LIFE!” he was screaming on the inside, hating his guts, cursing every breath he took. He couldn't grasp what he was feeling, it was an ongoing barrage of thoughts, crushing him under their weight.

  “I DON'T WANT TO FEAR FOR MY LIFE! WHAT NORMAL PERSON WOULD WANT THAT?! I DON'T WANT TO BE THE ONE WHO HAS TO DECIDE SUCH DIFFICULT THINGS. AAAAAARRRRGGHHHH!” His head began to hurt as the world around him began to blur. Destare was still kneeling next to him, talking, but with no success.

  Powerful shock waves were echoing through the room as the two forces clashed against each other. Leandro wasn't able to look up to them, though the tremor of their strikes was piercing his marrow and bone. The two forces seemingly enjoyed their fight.

  “Stop dodging, you coward,” the man initiated.

  “Your little tricks will not last much longer.”

  “Ha, you're getting nervous after all.”

  Another bang resounded, and a chunk of debris came flying towards Leandro, who still hadn't moved. Destare protected him from the impact but was still at the mercy of his human partner. He couldn't leave him in his current state, overwhelmed by himself.

  “Can you believe it? Even now that little runt is shaming our name,” a familiar voice echoed through Leandro’s mind.

 
“Where did we go wrong? Every decision he has made for himself was an utter failure. False pride and naivety, that's not what we taught him.”

  A second voice he knew responded.

  “If only we noticed earlier. I'm deeply disappointed that our son turned out so badly.”

  These words were resonating deep inside of him, and Leandro’s guts were about to cramp. For a moment it felt like his heart was standing still, and a feeling of rage and defiance overcame his misery.

  In that short moment, he managed to look upward. He could hear Destare's voice that repeatedly called out his name. He saw the disfigured corpses and the crying guests that were still alive, cowering behind an unknown man, feelings just as helpless.

  The stranger had clothed himself with a festive frock and hid his face with a sparkling green mask out of porcelain and jewels, decorating his eyes. Purple feathers were pegged into his long, dark hair.

  The creature with him was similarly fashionable. Leandro presumed it must've been his aspect, though it looked way more inhuman than all of the aspects he had met so far. Black, broken feathers were coming out of its head, and his mask had a long beak. He had a bent neck that made it look like it wanted to walk on all fours instead of its legs.

  And his eyes strayed to the other side, looking at what nightmarish creature awaited him this time.

  On one of the destroyed stone plates and split up rocks from the wall, something sat down, while comfortably crossing its legs. It was a being with two faces that had been grown into each other in the middle, looking like it had been intended this way since its birth. Covered in something that looked like a golden helmet that left enough space for three eyes and two noses. Additionally, four horns, two on each side, were coming out of its helmet. A small, slim nose was leading to even smaller lips, with a round chin. Whereas the rest of the body looked like a female in tight plate mail, changing into the body type of a lizard the more he examined it. Sharp claws, pulsating veins and a scaled tail wrapping itself around its hips.

  “This world has to be a cruel jo-” He put his hands around his mouth as he was about to vomit. None of them seemed to care about him as they were involved in their own little struggle.

  “Agneytta!” the other man yelled out of nowhere, and a slimy, green-brownish mass was shot from underneath its mask, flying towards the scaled being. With a somersault into the air, it evaded a direct hit, but a part of the slimy mass stuck to its hand, holding it in place at the rock it sat upon.

  “Disgusting,” both voices said before they saw some black knifes being sent their way. With minimal effort, the creature cut through the stone and escaped the attack. More and more ooze was shot at it, alternating with the man throwing his knives at the enemy. Only for it to end up sitting on the same cut up stone from before.

  “Not bad, I bet you're your Lord's favorite whore.”

  To their surprise, the creature began to laugh out loud and the voices alternated between its sentences.

  “I'm one of the four generals of Lord Despair – Peritus.”

  “We have come to destroy. From the ashes, a new life will blossom. Your cries for help will summon the ghosts of the metamorphose.”

  “Actually I was just tasked with killing any Personas, and especially humans that I came across, but I welcome every art of extermination.”

  The man responded, “Oh yeah? How I see it, is that you are a tarted up lapdog that only does what he is ordered to.”

  “There is a reason why I'm following Lord Despair, but explaining it to you wouldn't change anything,” the softer voice took over. “In great misery, a new kingdom will come to life, welcoming the light of a new age.”

  Leandro was slowly catching his breath, trying to stand himself up with the help of Destare’s support, even gaining some strength back in order to speak.

  “This is all too surreal, Destare.” He took in a deep breath, but still had trouble exhaling.

  “How can I survive here if I don't even know how any of this is possible? Haven't I overcome enough hardship already? How many times do I have to face my fears for it to stop hurting? Isn't once enough? Why do people say that one time is all it takes.” He faltered again, but Destare’s armored hand caught him.

  “My knees are shaking, my head is racing. This can't be the reality inside our minds”, he gasped.

  Destare was building himself up before him and put his hands on Leandro’s shoulders.

  “Leandro, I can understand how hard all this is for you. This is not your world, but it is the reality you're in right now. If you don't start accepting and challenging it, I mean really, really challenging it, then you will die. That is the only thing that should be on your mind right now. Be brave and face it. Face this godforsaken world as many times as your mind needs to, to understand that you are the one in charge. And the most important thing … should be your trust in me.”

  On the brink of tearing up, Leandro looked up to his aspect.

  “How can they ignore all of this and still move forward?” his trembling lips brought forth.

  “All of us are scared, Leandro, but the difference is that they act because they know there is no other choice.”

  Unexpectedly, another explosion occurred and shook the room as more debris went flying towards Destare and the remaining survivors. While the aspect protected his partner, the guests only barely managed to escape their fate of getting smashed by the rocks.

  “Looks like you do know how to fight,” the man teased Peritus, and built himself up before him with a smirk.

  “I'm simply tired of your trickery. I thought you could hold my interest, but it looks like I was wrong.” The creature lifted its right index finger into the air, and a yellow-green ball of fire appeared, hovering over the tip. With a slight movement of his finger, the projectile came bolting down towards the two masked individuals.

  “Agneytta!” As soon as the man called for it, the aspect morphed parts of the air into the same goo from before, building up a membrane to take some force off of the comet-like fireball threatening to annihilate them. As soon as the ball of fire hit the built-up wall, the pillars of the room began to fall apart, and the man barely escaped by running out of the trajectory.

  Meanwhile, his aspect transformed itself into a liquid form and traveled around the field to attack Peritus from various angles. Soon, no stone would stand on the other as both parties clashed with each other.

  “WHY GODDAMNIT?! WHY DOES IT HAVE TO BE SO HARD FOR ME, EVEN WHEN I'M NOT THE ONE FIGHTING?!” Leandro screamed into Destare's arms while crying tears of desperation.

  “Leandro,” he called back to him. “Listen to me; it is normal to fall back into old behaviors. It is normal to have weaknesses. It is normal to not be perfect, but don't you dare forget your strengths! Do what you can, whenever you can and look forward!” But it didn't help. The young boy ignored what Destare said and continued to talk to himself.

  “What if they were always right? I was the one that disappointed them because I can do nothing worthwhile on my own. I don't even stand up to my own decisions. What gives me the right to judge people like Gwyn? What have I done that was so great? What did I accomplish?! I AM THE DISAPPOINTMENT!”

  Destare began to see that it was hopeless. With a deep, and defeated sounding sigh he put his head down, looking at the scared young man.

  “It doesn't look good. All of this has been too hard on you. Leandro, I wish I could be the shining hope that you need right now, but more than carrying you on my shoulders was never possible,” right as his aspect began to give up as well, they were surprisingly interrupted.

  “Please, help goddamnit. You can see it, can't you? Nobody can do anything except for you.”

  “Do it! I don't want to die here.”

  The Personas spoke to the duo as they crawled over the desolate floor. Despite their bloody feet and disfigured bodies, they managed to get this close to them, begging for help.

  “Ha, you truly are pathetic. What does all of y
our status and riches do for you now, huh?” the man with the mask joined them, and now everyone had gathered, only a few yards apart, except for Peritus and Agneytta.

  “Silence! You are just as bad as that freak over there.”

  “Yes! You're nothing but a monster in human skin.”

  Before the man with the mask could even answer, they heard the struggle of the fight raging in the background.

  “CHARLES!” a high pitched voice screamed out of nowhere.

  “Dammit, Agneytta, what are you doing?” the man with the plumage hissed.

  Only now did Leandro's eyes see what happened. Giant rocks were dashing in their direction as Peritus seemingly ignored Agneytta’s chase for a moment. It felt like slow-motion as he saw that his life was about to end. His body was still unable to move.

  Agneytta rushed to the side of his partner and took on his physical form to protect him. It formed himself into a different looking barrier after jumping from the ground with an acrobatic pirouette, defending the impact.

  Destare took on a more robust approach and threw his body in front of Leandro, as he was used to, realizing that the Personas weren't so lucky, watching their bodies get squashed by the debris.

  The only thing left over were some falling boulders, their blood and a few limbs still sticking out from underneath the debris.

  “Phew, that was close. Thanks, Agneytta.”

  The being nodded understandingly and was already on its way to fight Peritus, who was ready for another round. “And jump,” continued the man joyfully as he hopped over some of the rocks, walking calmly towards Leandro.

  “How can you be so disrespectful?” it burst out of Leandro, looking at him with a stunned expression, as he swiped the blood from his leather shoes.

  “Oh, you mean that? Come on, will ya?” he pointed at the squelched corpses. ”They were scumbags, and ya know it,” he laughed as if he was telling some kind of joke only he found funny.

  “You seem human yourself, even though you look like you’re new to this sort of thing.”

  No answer followed, only Destare who moved his body to protect the young man