The Knight's Maiden in Disguise

by Ella Matthews

  She scrambled down from the loft, muttering apologies to the horses in her care as she went. Bluebell, a high-maintenance mare, was particularly angry at being kept waiting for longer than normal for her morning feed. She placated the horse by giving her oats, but it was still some time before Avva got to Eirwen.

  ‘You’re a well-mannered beast, aren’t you?’ she said, rubbing the stallion’s nose. ‘Your owner’s obviously taught you how to behave.’

  ‘I can’t claim any credit for his behaviour. He came to me this way.’

  Avva screamed and clutched her chest. She hadn’t heard William approach, but, turning, she saw he was standing behind her, an amused twinkle in his eyes.

  Irrational anger surged within her and she couldn’t stop her voice coming out curtly. ‘How long have you been there?’

  ‘Not long.’ William’s lips twitched, as if suppressing laughter. ‘Only enough time to hear you chatting to the horses.’

  William grinned and Avva felt heat flood her cheeks. How embarrassing to be caught talking to the animals as if they were humans. She did it frequently, but she always made sure she was alone first. She didn’t want anyone to accuse her of madness. William’s smile was kind, though, and the muscles in her shoulders relaxed slightly.

  She turned back to Eirwen and checked on his feed.

  ‘Eirwen’s comfortable,’ she said, hoping that this reassurance would be enough to send William on his way. She was not going to show him around the castle—the danger it could possibly cause her by drawing attention to her was unfathomable. Besides, she’d had quite enough of his interfering ways already. If Barwen thought she was in league with him in any way... She shuddered—spending time being punished by Barwen made the dungeons seem almost palatable.

  ‘I can see he’s well, thank you for your care,’ said William, but he still didn’t leave.

  When she turned back to him, he’d moved closer. Even in the dim light of the stable he was near enough that she could see faint stubble against his jaw and the firm outline of his lips. She stepped back, desperate to get away from him and from the strange flickering sensation in the base of her stomach. Her back met the wall of the stable, preventing her from moving very far.

  ‘I hope you are still able to help me this morning.’ William’s gaze flicked to her lips and then back up again.

  Avva’s mind went completely blank, her thoughts scattering away from her as her lips tingled. She ran her tongue over them. William’s pupils darkened and he shifted towards her.

  She jerked her head back and he froze.

  Could William possibly be thinking of kissing her? But, no. He thought she was a man. Unless... She knew some men preferred men. Was it possible William felt that way? Was that why he was always seeking her company? If William pulled her into his arms, expecting one thing and feeling another, what would he do? And, more importantly, who would he tell?

  William cleared his throat and subtly stepped back. ‘I need to take a look around the castle and I was hoping you would be my guide.’

  ‘Er... Thomas.’ Heat flooded her face at her response. He’d flustered her so much she could only manage a one-word answer.

  William’s lips quirked and her face became hotter still.

  ‘Steward Thomas will only show me what he wants me to see. I would like to see the underside of the castle.’

  This was the absolute last thing that she wanted. His presence disconcerted her, making her forget herself. She scrabbled around for a reason to say no. ‘The horses. They need taking care of.’

  William glanced around the nearly pristine stable. ‘I’ll help you. What needs doing first?’

  Avva tilted her head to one side—she’d imagined that yesterday’s help had been a one-off. Not only had she told him she couldn’t help him, she’d also been cross when he’d stepped in to protect her. She kept coming back to the fact that knights and noblemen did not help out those beneath them in society. She knew they were all about chivalry, but that was rarely put into practice as far as Avva could see. At least not until she’d met William.

  There was no doubt the strong-looking knight had done his fair share of hard work. His firm build didn’t come by handing heavy duties over to his underlings. Then again the man hadn’t met Bluebell yet. Hopefully her highly strung antics would put him off.

  ‘Bluebell needs mucking out.’ She nodded to the stable at the end of the room. The mare was prancing restlessly, snorting every now and again.

  William smiled but didn’t comment, merely pushing up his sleeves and picking up a shovel. ‘I’ll get started then.’

  Avva watched open-mouthed as William strode to the stall. He leaned over the door and Bluebell, the traitor, came to his outstretched hand. Avva couldn’t hear what he whispered to the horse, but she was reluctantly impressed as the mare calmed almost immediately.

  She moved away, carrying out her own chores, trying to ignore what William was doing in his section of the room. She’d hoped he was like the other noblemen she’d come across, that he’d baulk at the first sign of hard work and leave her alone. But William worked in concentrated silence and her normal chores were finished quickly.

  ‘Is that to your satisfaction, Ave?’

  Avva glanced into Bluebell’s stall—he’d done the job well. Everything was clean and he’d even put fresh feed out for the mare. She couldn’t complain and it would allow her some extra time, but spending time with William was not wise. ‘You’d make a good stable boy.’

  William laughed, his eyes lighting up with delight, and she couldn’t help but smile in response. A strange tingling sensation started up in the pit of her stomach. She pressed her hand against it. This new sensation was happening with alarming frequency in William’s presence.

  ‘Should the King dispense with my services at least I will have something else I can do.’

  And just like that she was reminded why she couldn’t trust his disarming smile. A member of the ruling classes could never be depended on.

  ‘What have I said to put that frown on your face?’ William stepped closer towards her and gently stroked the skin of her forehead with his thumb. The tingling in her stomach shot out to all parts of her body and she jerked backwards. ‘Sorry. I didn’t mean to frighten you.’ The look in his eyes was hard to read, but she knew, without doubt, that he’d had no intention of hurting her. She was not going to tell him why she’d reared away from his touch.

  ‘I’m not afraid.’ At least, she wasn’t afraid of him. He hadn’t threatened her or made her uncomfortable with his actions. It was her reaction to him that terrified her. She had never experienced anything like this and it was so wrong, not least because he believed her to be a man. Somehow her deception had never felt like a lie before. She was disguising herself as a man to keep herself safe and the deception didn’t hurt anyone. There was something about William that made her want to shed her disguise and declare herself a woman.

  ‘Would you help me now?’

  She still didn’t want to—spending more time with William was dangerous in more ways than one—but now that he’d helped her, she couldn’t claim she didn’t have time.

  ‘There’s no need to be afraid. I believe Barwen and Thomas are locked in discussions. They will not see us together.’

  She looked up at him. How was it that he was able to read her like that? No one else ever had. Her gaze roamed over his face—there were faint lines around his eyes suggesting that he laughed a lot. The hard cruelty she saw in Caerden’s visage was missing from him. He really was a beautiful man. She felt her resolve waver. It wouldn’t take her long to show him around the castle and with Caerden away no one would be paying much attention to her. If she walked briskly, they could be done quickly and Barwen and Thomas would be none the wiser.

  ‘Fine.’ She nodded and strode out into the courtyard without waiting to see if he was following
.

  ‘Thank you for being so gracious about it,’ he murmured when he caught up with her. She could hear the laughter in his voice and she pressed her lips together to stop herself smiling in response.

  She gave him a brief tour of the courtyard, not stopping to take him into the alehouse. The alewives were all elderly women. The villagers made sure that the young ones stayed far out of the sight of Baron Caerden and any of his cronies, but even so the women wouldn’t thank her for bringing a strange man into their space. They knew, as well as anyone, to steer clear of newcomers.

  ‘The carpenter,’ she said, nodding towards John, who was carving a piece of wood outside his workshop. He didn’t look up at them as they passed, although Avva was sure he was aware of their presence.

  ‘Why are people so unfriendly?’ asked William as they rounded a corner and more castle inhabitants scurried out of sight.

  ‘Why do you think they are unfriendly?’

  William laughed without humour. ‘When I arrived yesterday, no one would look at me. I emptied the alehouse with my presence and you’re the only one who will speak to me. And I get the impression you would prefer to rot in hell than spend another moment in my company.’

  Avva coughed. ‘It’s not that... I mean, I...’

  ‘You don’t have to pretend to like me. I have a thick skin.’ His tone didn’t quite match his words. Could it be that the hulking, great knight did want her to like him?

  He slanted his gaze down at her and heat rushed over Avva’s skin. She hadn’t meant to make her distrust so obvious. So far, he seemed like a decent man and she knew that, despite herself, she did like him. ‘It’s not personal,’ she said inadequately.

  ‘I know that. It can’t be because you, and everyone else who lives and works here, don’t know me. My fellow knights would say avoiding me was a perfectly reasonable action after you’ve come to know me.’ Somehow Avva doubted that. There was something appealing about him that made her want to spend more time in his company, even though she knew it was a bad idea. ‘I can’t show people they’re wrong to be wary about me if I don’t know what I’m fighting against.’

  He made a reasonable point, but Avva was still wary. ‘How do I know I can trust you?’

  ‘You don’t, I suppose, but I swear to you that I will never purposely harm you, or any of the other innocent occupants of this castle. My intentions are honourable.’

  Avva pushed her hair out of her eyes. She hadn’t missed the stress William had put on the word innocent, so he was intending harm to those who weren’t. Did she really count as innocent or was she tainted by association?

  There were only a handful of people who had ever known the truth of Avva’s birth and four of them were dead. Unfortunately, it was the one who was left who could do the most damage.

  The current Baron Caerden knew the truth. He knew that they were half-siblings, although, of course, he thought she was his half-brother. He knew that their despicable father, the late Baron Caerden, had taken her mother as a lover and discarded her without thought when she became pregnant with twins. She needed to keep reminding herself what noblemen would do to those they considered their unequals. It would help her to remember why depending on William was not a good idea.

  ‘Whatever you are thinking, Ave, please know that you can trust me.’ William’s brown eyes were soft and gentle. What she wouldn’t give to lean on a man like him, to know that someone brave and strong was on her side for once.

  She could tell him some of the truth about Caerden, or at least a version of it. He didn’t need to know about her parentage—the knowledge would make no difference to his visit. He was a newcomer and so far hadn’t exhibited any of the normal noble behaviour. He’d even made an enemy of Barwen, so perhaps it was only fair to warn him what might be in store for him. ‘Strangers often spell trouble for anyone in the town who isn’t part of Baron Caerden’s inner circle. There is a lot of violence here, more I think than in other parts of the country. Although, of course, I don’t know that for a fact, having never lived anywhere else.’

  ‘In what ways is it violent?’

  She stopped and turned to him. ‘Please, I don’t want to go into detail. It’s safe to say it isn’t good. Barwen is at the centre of it—it was not wise to make him your enemy.’

  His gaze searched her face for a long moment. Whatever he saw in her expression caused him to nod briskly. ‘Fine, I understand. Shall we get on with the tour?’

  She turned away from him and stepped into the coolness of the castle. ‘This is the route to the kitchens.’ She took him to the large room, the busiest, and hottest, in the castle. Even though Caerden wasn’t in residence, a large meal was being prepared. Avva’s stomach rumbled as she caught the smell of roasting meat, reminding her that she hadn’t yet eaten today. She didn’t want to take anything now in case it slowed them down. She would have to return later. The cooks were used to her coming and going. Among the chaos, no one spared her or William a second glance.

  William paused at the entrance to the room and took his time looking around. Avva didn’t know what he was taking in, but his sharp gaze seemed to linger in certain areas and pass over others. Finally, he gave a nod and turned away. Avva couldn’t fathom what he could have gleaned from the experience.

  She continued through the castle, William following silently behind. Sometimes he would stop and look around, but it was never clear what exactly held his interest. She told herself not to be disappointed by the lack of conversation, but she found she missed the deep timbre of his voice and the way it often held a thread of laughter.

  Her guided tour was coming to an end. She wouldn’t have to see him again apart from their dealings over Eirwen. This was a good thing, she reminded herself as her heart dropped.

  ‘This is—’

  His hand on her arm had her coming to an abrupt stop. ‘What—’

  William put his finger to his lips. She frowned, but before she could question him further he pulled her into an alcove behind a large arras.

  Heavy footsteps sounded further down the corridor and the unmistakable tones of Barwen Montford reached Avva. She stepped closer to William, trying to hide herself behind his bulk. As if sensing her distress, William slipped an arm around her shoulder and pulled her close. The temptation to lay her head on his broad chest was overwhelming but she held herself slightly apart from him, not wanting to succumb to the desire for contact.

  ‘Why didn’t you keep the knight where we can see him, Thomas? Where did you say he was staying?’

  ‘At the Boar’s Head.’

  William’s arm tightened around her.

  The footsteps came closer.

  ‘This visit changes our plans.’ Barwen’s voice sent a shiver down Avva’s spine. He was gleeful about something and she knew from experience that was never good. William’s other arm came around her, his fingers slipping into the hair at the base of her neck.

  ‘Can it really be that simple?’ Thomas sounded equally pleased.

  ‘We need to keep that knight away from us while we get things in place but, yes, if you can perform that task then I think it really is that easy.’

  The two men laughed and moved away. William’s arms were bands of steel around her. Up close she could see his pulse beating in his neck. She wanted to rest her fingertips against it, to feel it move under his skin.

  William let out a long breath. She thought he would release his hold, but he didn’t. He appeared to be staring at the back of the arras, but she rather thought his mind was elsewhere.

  ‘Sir William,’ she whispered.

  ‘Hmm.’

  ‘Should we move?’

  ‘We should.’

  But still he didn’t let go.

  She didn’t pull away.

  She had never been held so tightly before. If she’d been asked, she’d have said this close contact w
asn’t something she needed, but she’d have been wrong. She was enveloped in his strength, protected, for the moment, from the world outside.

  Her own hands hung down by her side. Without conscious thought, she lifted a palm and pressed it to William’s stomach. Underneath the cloth of his shirt, she could feel hard ridges of his muscles. She sighed softly.

  He tilted his head to gaze down at her. She waited for him to say something, anything, but he remained silent. The look in his eyes gradually changed, the hardness leaving them to be replaced by something else, something she didn’t recognise but which made her heart race and her breath hitch.

  Her lips tingled oddly, she bit her bottom lip. He made a noise between a groan and a grunt and then slowly he lowered his head. Their breath mingled as his chest began to rise and fall as quickly as hers.

  His mouth brushed hers in the gentlest of touches and everything inside her stilled. He lifted his head slightly, his gaze meeting hers for a fleeting moment before he lowered his head again. His lips moved over hers, their warmth sending strange shivers through her body. Without conscious thought her mouth began to move, too, mirroring his movements.

  His other hand stole into her hair, his strong fingers sliding deliciously against her scalp. A strange sound filled the small space and it took a moment for her to realise it was coming from her. The noise seemed to stir something within him and his mouth became more insistent, his tongue teasing the edge of her lips.

  Her arms slid around his waist and her hands splayed at the base of his spine, his muscles moving under her fingertips.