The Knight's Maiden in Disguise

by Ella Matthews

  ‘Ave.’ She looked down at him—she could just make out the whites of his eyes. ‘The fallen men. They need to go...river.’

  His eyes fluttered shut again and she stood. He wanted her to dispose of the bodies, possibly the worst thing she had ever had to do in her life. ‘Please, God,’ she muttered under her breath. ‘Let this be over.’

  She scurried back up the riverbank and saw the bodies where they’d dropped.

  Her breathing came in rapid pants as she rolled them into the river, trying not to think about what she was doing as each body hit the water with a splash, disappearing beneath the murky depths.

  She checked on William. He was still unconscious, but he was breathing, and so she began to walk briskly back to the castle. Running would look suspicious, but no one ever questioned her coming and going into the castle grounds. It was well known that her younger brothers worked at the smithy’s and that she visited them often.

  The guards didn’t look up from their game of dice as she walked back through the gates, but even so her heart was racing by the time she reached the stables. She climbed up to the loft and grabbed her blanket. It wasn’t thick, but it would have to do for covering William.

  Pebble, a fat, contented pony, allowed himself to be led out of his stall. Her hands were shaking as she attached a cart to him and led him out into the courtyard.

  She tucked her hands into her sleeves to hide the tremble she was sure was obvious and began to make her way to the gatehouse.

  She kept her head down as she approached the guards.

  ‘What you up to, Ave?’ Avva’s heart sank. She was so rarely stopped at the gates, she hadn’t thought it would happen tonight.

  Avva looked up, glad that it was Gawain who’d addressed her. He was one of the friendlier guards and quite often chatted to her when he collected a horse from the stables.

  ‘Collecting some supplies for John,’ she said, amazed that her voice came out steady and assured.

  ‘You’re good to that old carpenter.’ Gawain smiled.

  ‘Aye. Let’s hope he remembers that when I’ve something that needs fixing.’

  Gawain grinned and Avva carried on walking through the gates and out into the open.

  John would cover for her, Avva was sure of that. She was pretty sure John knew she was a woman, but he’d never said anything and he treated her like one of his other grandchildren. She hated to put him in the position that he’d have to lie for her, but she hadn’t had enough time to come up with a better idea.

  She leapt up to the front of the cart and encouraged Pebble into a brisk trot until they’d turned the bend in the road. She hoped William was awake because it was going to be difficult to find him in the darkness.

  She looped Pebble’s reins over a tree stump, although he was so placid she was fairly sure he would stay put regardless.

  ‘William,’ she called softly as she clambered back down the embankment.

  There was no response.

  ‘Don’t do this to me, William. Where are you?’

  She heard a slight moan a little to her left and began to tread carefully in that direction. Eventually her foot hit something solid. She reached down and found William’s chest—it rose and fell beneath her hand.

  She traced a path up his body until she was touching the skin of his face. He was as cold as death. She patted his cheek gently. ‘William, I need you to wake up.’

  ‘Ave.’ His breath whispered over the skin of her hand. ‘You came back.’

  ‘I did, but it’s not going to do you any good unless you can make your way up the river bank. You’re too heavy for me to carry.’

  William groaned, but she felt him shifting. She dropped her hand as he made it on to his front. In the light of the crescent moon she could just make out his shape as he tried to pull himself to his feet. He only made it on to his knees before he fell into a heap.

  ‘Here, let me help.’ She slipped an arm under him and his solid weight settled against her.

  Together, they managed to get him to his feet. She didn’t think he could manage to walk unaided and so she kept an arm underneath him as they staggered up to the top of the bank, his breathing rasping in her ear.

  ‘You’re going to have to go in the cart.’

  She felt him nod against her hair. It took several attempts to get him in it and, even then, the cart was far too small for a man of his size.

  She arranged the blanket around him. ‘Where shall I take you?’

  ‘Not...the tavern.’ He was shivering in earnest now, his whole body shaking.

  ‘I don’t know what to do.’ She spoke quietly.

  ‘I’m... I’m...sorry.’

  It was that apology that made her mind up. If he’d demanded something from her, she might have taken him to the tavern and considered her duty done, no matter how lovely his brown eyes were or how delicious his kisses. That apology had touched something within her. The humility she’d heard in his voice was so unusual for one of his rank. It had reminded her more of her brother Aven and she knew she couldn’t leave William now.

  ‘I’m going to have to take you on a little ride.’ She didn’t know if he’d heard her or not, there was no response to her statement.

  She swung herself up onto the front of the cart again and clicked Pebble back into a brisk trot. She’d have to head to the town to make her story believable and then she would return to the castle. It was risky, but no one would consider her to be harbouring someone in her cart. She was the unassuming, hardworking and polite stable master. No one would suspect her of any wrongdoing.

  She pulled up outside the smithy’s and was relieved to find Dylan, her youngest brother alone inside, hammering some molten metal into shape.

  ‘Ave,’ he called, pulling off his gloves. ‘I was hoping I’d see you tonight. Why didn’t you come yesterday or the day before?’

  ‘I had something I needed to take care of.’

  ‘I heard you’ve been spending time with a stranger in the tavern. The word is he’s quite a handsome stranger, too.’ A smile was playing around Dylan’s mouth, a knowing glint in his eyes. Perhaps her brothers hadn’t forgotten she was a woman after all.

  ‘I had to. He’s a knight working directly for the King. I couldn’t say no to spending the evening with him.’

  All humour left Dylan’s gaze. ‘What did he want with you?’

  Unbidden images of the kiss earlier that day sprang to mind, but she shook her head. ‘Background information, I suppose. I don’t know. He didn’t get any details from me. Listen, I can’t stay. I was wondering whether you had a spare blanket or something. I’ll pay you, of course.’

  Dylan’s lips tightened. ‘You don’t have to pay me. You give David and me enough. Is everything all right?’

  ‘Yes, everything’s fine. I’m in a bit of a hurry, do you think you could...?’

  Dylan frowned, but didn’t say anything as he disappeared off to his sleeping quarters.

  ‘Are you in trouble?’ he asked as he handed Avva the spare blanket.

  ‘No. All is well with me.’ That wasn’t technically a lie. It wasn’t her lying unconscious in the back of the cart. Dylan would help her if she asked, but the less her remaining family knew the better. ‘Thank you very much for this.’

  ‘It’s nothing,’ said Dylan with a shrug.

  She nodded. ‘Bye, then. I’ll come and call on you again soon.’ How she wished he was still young enough to pull into her arms. She remembered the soft tickle of his hair under her chin as she’d held him close and told him stories. Now he was bigger than she and wouldn’t appreciate the gesture. He was almost grown now, it wouldn’t be long before he and David didn’t need her any more. She didn’t know what she would do then. Unbidden, images of her and William sitting in front of a fire sprang to mind. She shook her head—that could never be. Not even
if the impossible happened and they fell in love. They were from two very different worlds and neither one could fit. She would do well to remember that.

  Back by the cart, she tucked the new blanket into a corner, careful to avoid touching William. He’d need something dry to cover him later, so that he didn’t catch a chill. She reached out and put a hand on his chest. He was still breathing—she just had to hope he carried on doing that. Life would be a lot harder if she had to get rid of another dead body.

  She set Pebble in motion, her heart galloping wildly in her chest, now, for the most daring part of her plan.

  She let Pebble walk the rest of the way. Although he was a strong pony, it was too much to ask him to trot uphill with his heavy cargo. Unfortunately, the slower pace gave her more time to think about what she was doing.

  It was unlikely she would be checked going back into the castle, but that didn’t stop her imagining what would happen to her if she was. ‘I’ll just say I found him by the side of the road,’ she muttered to herself. ‘As far as I’m aware he’s a guest of Thomas and there’s nothing unusual. I can say I thought he was drunk. That’s not odd behaviour for one of Thomas’s visitors.’

  Despite her plan, her knees shook as she neared the heavy, iron gates. The noise of the wheels passing over the entrance seemed far louder than usual and she had to force her breathing to remain even as the first of the guards came into sight.

  But her fears were unfounded. Gawain was nowhere to be seen and the other guards were as uninterested in her as normal. She was able to get Pebble and the cart into the stable without any fuss or abnormal attention.

  She got down from the cart and leaned against Pebble’s sturdy body, relief weakening her knees. She took a few, deep steadying breaths before moving around to the back of the cart. William was lying as she had left him, alarmingly resembling a large sack of potatoes.

  She reached over and touched his leg. ‘William, are you awake?’

  ‘Yes.’

  ‘You’re going to have to help me get you out of the cart and up the ladder.’

  There was a long silence and no movement.

  ‘William?’

  ‘You’ve brought me to the stables?’

  ‘Yes.’

  ‘In the castle grounds?’

  ‘Yes,’ she said irritably. ‘It’s not as if I have various places to hide wounded knights. It’s not something I go around doing often.’

  She heard the faint croak of a laugh. ‘I’m not going to be able to manage by myself.’

  ‘I’m not going to be able to get in there and help you out,’ she countered. ‘You’re huge.’

  There was a resounding silence to her statement. She thought he must have lost consciousness again, but eventually she heard the slats of the cart creak as William began to move. It seemed to take half a lifetime, but eventually his legs appeared over the edge of the back, followed by the rest of his body. He grunted with pain as he pulled himself upright, but at least he was standing.

  ‘Here, let me help.’ She slid her arm underneath his again and helped him across to the bottom of the ladder. ‘You’re going to have to climb up by yourself. Can you manage?’

  Avva looked around the stable to see if there was anything she could use to help haul him up. There was nothing.

  ‘I can manage,’ he said.

  He grasped hold of the side of the ladder and put his foot on the bottom rung. He wobbled and Avva went to steady him.

  He waved her off. ‘I can do it. It’s only a short climb.’

  Avva didn’t know how he achieved it, but William began to mount the wooden steps. It took him a while, but eventually his legs disappeared out of sight as he pulled himself over the top.

  She grabbed the dry blanket and climbed up after him.

  The loft above the stables was a small place. She had space to store her few possessions and room to sleep, but that was it. With William filling up the space with his broad shoulders and long legs, the place was miniscule. In the darkness she could just make out the shape of him as he lay down on his side.

  ‘You’re going to have to take your wet clothes off.’

  He grunted. ‘I’ll be fine.’

  ‘You won’t, you’ll catch a chill and die and I’ll be left with your dead body decomposing on my bedroll.’

  ‘I’m sorry if my dying would cause a great inconvenience for you.’

  ‘I’m sure it would be worse for you.’

  She heard him grunt again, but this time she could make out a thread of amusement in the sound.

  ‘I’ll go and light a candle while you get undressed.’ She made to move out of the loft and stopped. ‘Do you...?’ She cleared her throat. ‘Do you need me to help?’

  She held her breath as she waited for his answer, unsure whether she wanted to help him or not. The thought of touching his bare skin was not as unpleasant as it should have been.

  ‘I’m fine,’ he grunted.

  She nodded. It was a good thing he had turned her down. Although that didn’t explain why her heart was fluttering so wildly as she descended the ladder. If William had said yes to her offer of help, it would have been a completely innocent gesture. It would have been the same as when she’d cared for Aven in the last few days of his life and he’d needed help with all his basic needs. She’d seen him undressed and was familiar with the male body. William might be more powerfully built than most, but the thought of him without clothes was surely nothing to disturb her peace of mind. Yet she realised her hands were shaking as she made her way across the almost empty courtyard, probably from the shock of the whole evening, she assured herself and nothing at all to do with William’s undressed body.

  Fortunately, John was nowhere to be seen because he was sure to guess that something unusual was occurring from the jittery way she took a candle from the stock he kept at the back of his workroom. She lit it from John’s fire and made her way back to the stables, careful to avoid hot wax dripping on her hands.

  She didn’t normally bother with candlelight during the spring and summer months. She knew her way around in the dark and the danger of falling asleep with a flame was too risky. But there was little chance of sleep tonight. Not with a hulking great warrior in her space, a warrior who had kissed her so thoroughly she could still feel the imprint of his mouth. A warrior, who might die from his wounds or exposure to the icy water and, in death, would leave her with more problems than she had right now.

  She carefully carried the candle to the top of the ladder and settled it on the floor near the entrance to the loft.

  In the flickering light she could make out the imposing shape of William. He had manoeuvred himself to the edge of the room, as far away from the hay she used for a bed as was possible in the small space. He’d removed his outer layers, but kept his undergarments on. She could see from the way the fabric clung to his skin that he was still soaked. He was lying on his back, an arm thrown over his eyes.

  ‘Stubborn man,’ she muttered.

  She thought she saw his lips curve slightly.

  She reached out and touched his shoulder, her hand coming away wet. ‘You must be freezing.’

  ‘The cold is not as bad as the pain,’ he said roughly. ‘And even that’s manageable. I’ll be out of your way shortly.’

  Avva snorted. ‘I don’t think so. You can barely stand. I’m going to help you out of the rest of your clothes and then you are going to rest. We’ll talk about what we’ll do next, in the morning.’

  She crawled forward until she reached his side. ‘You’re going to have to help me.’

  With only a few grunts of pain but with no further protests, they managed to divest him of the rest of his clothes. She caught glimpses of toned flesh, but she tried to keep her eyes averted from his skin. She didn’t want to be tempted into touching him. He was breathing heavily by the time they’d fi
nished and he didn’t protest when she pushed him towards the hay and pulled the blanket over him.

  She thought he was asleep until he murmured, ‘Where will you sleep?’

  ‘Don’t worry yourself.’ She had no intention of sleeping. During Aven’s final days she had stayed awake throughout the nights, keeping an eye on him and making him comfortable. Missing sleep wasn’t pleasant, but she knew she would survive. She didn’t want to close her eyes and wake up to find him dead.

  He opened his eyes slightly. ‘When I pictured myself in your bed, it wasn’t like this.’

  Avva gasped.

  ‘Sorry... I shouldn’t have said that.’

  Avva opened and closed her mouth, completely at a loss as to how to respond. No one had ever said anything like that to her before. She’d never even thought it was possible for someone to desire her. She was so long and broad shouldered. But then he didn’t desire the real her, did he? He thought she was a man and there was no way she was going to let him know otherwise.

  ‘No, you shouldn’t have said such a thing,’ she said eventually.

  William lapsed into silence again. Avva hoped he had fallen asleep. She didn’t like the way her body wanted him to finish that conversation. She wanted to know exactly how he had pictured himself in her bed and what he thought they would be doing. These were dangerous, treacherous thoughts that could lead her into exactly the same position as her poor mother, saddled with unwanted children and forced into accepting a loveless marriage. She laughed softly—of course William still believed her to be a man. He wouldn’t be expecting any babies to result from a union between them. How shocked he would be!

  She crossed her legs and leaned back against the loft’s wall. Below her the horses moved in the stalls. Normally, she loved the sound of their hooves among the hay; it reminded her that she was not alone. Tonight, it made her realise just how tenuous her position was. If someone from the castle came to the stables with a need to travel urgently, William might easily be discovered.