The Knight's Maiden in Disguise

by Ella Matthews

  ‘That’s a pretty name.’

  A pink flush stole across her skin. She kept her head down, not looking at him. He tore off another chunk of bread and chewed. What was he doing calling her name pretty? He was more than a fool and an idiot, but he didn’t seem to be able to stop himself. His soul wanted hers.

  He should keep things impersonal, he could do that. ‘Thank you for coming to my rescue yesterday.’ She looked back up at him, the delicate flush still evident on her cheeks. ‘I’m sure you’re regretting it now.’

  She smiled at that, the gesture doing odd things to his stomach. Or perhaps it was the bread. Hopefully it was the bread—it was fairly indigestible, after all. Swooping stomachs were the stuff of fair maidens from legends of old, not the behaviour of a hardened knight as he knew himself to be.

  ‘I’ll be out of your way as soon as possible.’

  She nodded slowly, her eyes wide, and his stomach dropped. Although he didn’t want to involve an innocent in his mission, and a beautiful one at that, he couldn’t help but wish she was a little reluctant for him to leave.

  ‘Why did those men attack you?’

  He shrugged and then wished he hadn’t. It wasn’t just his ribs that hurt. There wasn’t an area of his body that wasn’t screaming in agony after the simple gesture. ‘Er...’ As answers went it wasn’t very articulate. It didn’t seem to please her either.

  ‘You must have some idea.’ Her eyes were flashing now, irritated with him.

  He cleared his throat. ‘I suspect there is something here in Caerden that Thomas and his ilk do not want me to see or know.’

  Avva snorted. That was interesting. Instead of questioning her, he took another mouthful of bread. This was a technique he’d learned from Theo. People tended to want to fill a silence. For a long moment, William thought Avva wouldn’t fall for the strategy, but then he heard her quick inhale. He kept his attention on the loaf, not wanting to spook her as she began to speak.

  ‘I would think there are many things Thomas and his cronies do not want you to see.’

  ‘What about Barwen and Caerden?’

  She laughed without humour. ‘Caerden is worse than Thomas. Thomas is lazy, but also a bit stupid. Caerden has a cruel intelligence. What he will do to a person...’ She shuddered. ‘Then there is Barwen. I hope, for your sake, you do not run into him again.’

  He continued to chew, but that seemed to be the end of Avva’s commentary. She lapsed into silence, staring at her long, slender fingers, which rested on her knees. Over the shuffling of the hooves below, he heard Avva’s stomach rumble. She moved her hands to press her stomach. Heat spread over William’s face as he realised what the sound meant. ‘Is this yours?’ He held out the remains of the bread.

  She hesitated.

  ‘Why didn’t you say something?’ His tone sounded sharper than he intended, his embarrassment making him curt. He held the loaf out further, grunting as the effort hurt his battered body.

  She waved his hand away. ‘You need it more than I do. I ate earlier today.’

  ‘That’s not true. Please take it.’

  She still didn’t come any closer.

  ‘We’ll share.’ He tore off a chunk and held out a piece to her.

  She eyed it, holding herself very still. William forced himself not to move or make any sound. Slowly, she moved towards him, as wary as a sparrow. Her fingers brushed the palm of his hand as she took the bread from him, setting off the strange tingling sensation once more. He swallowed.

  She took a tiny bite as she settled back down, this time a lot nearer. He knew he should look away—this close he could see the individual hairs in the thick lashes that framed her eyes. He could remember all the reasons why he should leave her alone, why he should stop thinking about her completely, yet he couldn’t tear his gaze away.

  The long, creamy skin of her neck was so tantalisingly close. He barely had to move and he’d be able to trace the length of it with his lips. The image was so strong he could almost feel the soft brush of her hair against his forehead. Why? Why was he having such a visceral attraction to a woman who tried to pass herself off as a man? A woman who didn’t even like him that much and one who was so beneath his station that even his unconventional parents would baulk at the match. Marriages at his level in society were made for political or financial gain, not for love. Even his parents, who adored each other to the edge of madness, had had their union arranged by their parents after a land dispute.

  His father was fond of telling anyone who would listen how he had fallen in love with his bride as soon as he had seen her. He’d been one of the lucky ones, because they’d met at the ceremony to bind them together for ever, having never set eyes on one another before that moment. They could just as easily have loathed one another.

  Perhaps this overwhelming desire was what his father had experienced, this need to be with one other person over all other rational thought. It was sobering to realise William was more like his parents than he’d believed. He’d always imagined he was beyond this. Not for him the insanity of falling desperately in lust. But he’d never experienced desire like this, so overwhelming he’d forgotten his training.

  He’d been so busy talking to Avva, trying to think about the best way to phrase his apology, when those men had attacked him.

  It was the first time, since becoming a knight, that he’d lost a fight. He didn’t count bouts between his fellow King’s Knights—they were trained to be the best of the best and losing to them wasn’t an embarrassment. Getting beaten by a group of barely trained thugs was a humiliation he wouldn’t forget in a long time. It was yet more proof that unbridled attraction led to foolishness.

  ‘Where will you go when you leave here?’ Avva asked, her soft voice bringing him back to the present.

  William clenched his jaw tightly as he heard the words she had uttered. While he was here, battling this unwanted desire, she wanted him gone.

  He handed her his last chunk of bread, he was no longer hungry. ‘I...’

  ‘Because if you need to stay here a little longer that’s...’ She stared at the top of the ladder. ‘That’s fine with me.’

  ‘I thought you wanted me to go.’

  Avva nodded, still not meeting his eyes. ‘I don’t want trouble, but...’

  ‘But?’

  ‘But Aven would have wanted me to help you.’

  ‘Your brother would want you to help a naked stranger, who’s currently lying in your bed?’

  A huge grin spread across her face and laughter gurgled out of her. He tried to tamp down the ridiculous joy that surged through him at the sound.

  ‘I don’t think he’d be thrilled about the naked bit, no.’ That beautiful pink colour spread across her cheeks again and it was William’s turn to grin. ‘But he would want me to help someone who nearly died last night. Even though...’ She waved her hand about. ‘I’m still...’

  William waited, but she didn’t seem to be able to find the words to finish her sentence. He decided to help her out.

  ‘I’m sorry I upset you yesterday evening. You saved my life and, afterwards, I didn’t treat you with the respect you deserve.’ That had her looking up at him, her eyes wide like a startled deer. He swallowed a smile. ‘Perhaps we could start again.’

  For a moment she only stared at him, mistrust clear in her expression. She nodded slowly. ‘All right. Let’s start again.’ She popped a morsel of bread into her mouth, a slight frown creasing her forehead. She swallowed. ‘Will you tell me why you think those men attacked you?’

  Damn, this wasn’t the route he wanted to go down. He wanted to know about her. He suspected her trying to pass herself off as a man was somehow linked to the unusual goings-on in this strange town. The more he discovered, the less of a hapless idiot he would feel when he reported back to his fellow knights and that was a perfectly valid reason for find
ing out more about her. But he had to admit to himself, if not to anyone else, that he wanted to know more about her because she intrigued him. And...and, as well as his overwhelming desire, he also liked her. She was kind, curious and brave.

  ‘I’ll trade with you,’ he said. ‘You tell me why you are pretending to be your twin brother and I will tell you why I think I was attacked.’

  She tilted her head to one side and he waited. He was beginning to recognise this as her way. She wouldn’t be rushed into talking. For a man who’d been raised by impulsive parents, it was a restful experience to know that her actions were being thought through. Eventually she nodded. ‘I will tell you why I am pretending to be Aven if you swear an oath that you will never reveal my secret.’

  ‘What sort of knight would it make me if I revealed your secret?’ He was affronted by her suggestion, even though he understood her reluctance to talk. ‘If it will make you feel better... I swear on the Devereux name that I will never tell a soul what you reveal to me now. You also have my word as a member of the King’s Knights that I will never impart the knowledge that you have taken your brother’s identity.’

  She fixed him with her piercing blue gaze. He concentrated on keeping his breathing steady. He would never break his oath, so he was not worried that she would find a lie in his countenance. But he didn’t want her to know how her gaze made his heart race and his body tighten. As the moment stretched he curled his fists to stop himself reaching across and tracing the curve of her cheek with his fingertips.

  She took a deep breath and let it out slowly seemingly coming to a decision. ‘This town...the women...it’s not safe.’

  The blank, flat look in Avva’s eyes made him want to tear the world apart with his bare hands. Instead he said, ‘What exactly do you mean?’

  There was a faint tremble in Avva’s long fingers as she carried on.

  ‘Baron Caerden thinks the women of the town are here for his entertainment and that of any of his noble friends who pay him a visit.’ Her tone was soft, almost gentle, but William could hear the fear behind her voice and the edge of his vision blackened. It didn’t matter what else was happening in Caerden, William would make sure the Baron faced the full weight of William’s vengeance for frightening Avva and putting that look in her eyes.

  ‘Are you referring to the current Baron?’ he asked.

  Avva nodded. ‘And his father, and any guests of either of them.’

  When William was finished with the younger Baron, he would dig up his father’s bones and crush them into paste and then hunt down the men who had stood alongside them both. He would not stop until the men who had scared Avva were completely destroyed.

  ‘You are angry.’

  William looked up at Avva, realising that his fists were clenched tight and that he’d been glaring at them as if they were responsible for the Baron’s actions. He hoped he hadn’t scared her further with his actions. ‘A baron’s role is to protect those under him, not to put them in further danger. It...frustrates me that you have been subjected to an ordeal by the very people who should protect you. Will you tell me more?’

  Avva tucked her arms under her legs and rested her head on her knees—the gesture was oddly vulnerable. William wanted to pull her into his arms, to comfort her and to reassure her that he would always keep her safe. But he knew he couldn’t do that; it was a promise he could not keep and a gesture she might not enjoy.

  Avva fiddled with the edge of her tunic. Recognising that this was her way, William didn’t press her. She would talk when she was ready.

  ‘It’s...’ She looked up, staring into the distance. ‘If...a woman is lucky...’ she let out a bitter laugh ‘...I don’t mean lucky, I mean...’ She shrugged. ‘My mother was discarded by one of the nobles when she was no longer of interest. He didn’t treat her too badly before that.’ William frowned. So Avva was an unwanted offspring of a noble. He ran through the images of older barons he knew, but he could think of no one who looked like her. It was yet another mystery about her he would have to solve, but at least it explained one of the reasons she had such a low opinion of nobility.

  ‘Others...’ She took a deep breath before continuing. ‘When I was a child there was a girl. She was so beautiful. The old Baron was dying and his son had some young noblemen visiting. There were days of feasting. The girl disappeared at some point—her body was found when the men moved on to another castle or hunting ground, I don’t know which. Anyway, the girl had been discarded in the forest like a broken cart. It wasn’t the first time something like that had happened, but it was the first death.’

  William’s anger burned along his skin in a white-hot rage.

  ‘Things deteriorated quickly after that. I suppose the young Baron realised there were no repercussions for the death of a villein. The townsfolk quickly learned to hide their women or to make them as unappealing as possible.’

  ‘I’ve noticed only older women work at the castle.’

  ‘Yes. They are not as attractive to Caerden as the younger ones. Mostly, they are safe.’ Avva nodded.

  ‘How do other women hide? Not everyone can disguise themselves as men.’

  Avva smiled slightly. ‘You saw how it was the other night. When a stranger arrives in town, the women are hidden pretty quickly.’

  ‘That’s what the tavern’s patrons were doing? They were hiding their women from me?’

  Avva smiled sadly. ‘There’s no need to take it personally. Nobody knows whether you are a good person, or one of them.’

  ‘I would never... I...’

  She reached out and lightly covered his hand with hers. ‘I believe you.’

  It was inevitable that his skin would tingle where she touched it. He held himself still even though he wanted to turn his hand and touch her palm to palm. He feared she would pull away if he moved.

  ‘Why do you believe me?’ he asked. ‘I’ve not done anything to prove I’m trustworthy.’ Heat flooded his face. ‘Quite the opposite really.’

  An answering blush stained her cheeks, her mind obviously going back to the same place as his. That darkened nook, behind the arras, where he’d lost control and tasted her lips.

  She leaned back, taking her hand with her, and he wished he’d stayed silent.

  ‘You’re not like the other men who stay here.’

  He waited, hoping for more, but when she didn’t continue he realised he’d been holding his breath. He’d been hoping for some sign that she thought well of him. He was beyond pathetic. Apart from responding to his kiss, she’d not given him any sign that she found him any more attractive than the next man. He certainly wasn’t getting the impression from her that she was experiencing an overwhelming desire for him.

  ‘Why do you not leave?’ he asked, when it became clear she was not going to say anything else.

  She laughed, although the sound was without humour. ‘You and your kind may be able to move around freely, but it is difficult for us villeins. Besides...’ she tilted her head to one side ‘...my brothers are in this town. I cannot leave until they are established.’

  ‘Why not? You said they are apprentices. Surely they can manage by themselves now.’

  Her eyes flashed. ‘I love them. I will not abandon them until I know that they are settled.’

  William nodded. There it was again: love. It made people act irrationally. Avva should leave and save herself from living in fear as soon as she had the chance.

  ‘Now it’s your turn,’ she said.

  ‘Huh?’

  ‘You promised you would share your thoughts with me. You’re not going to renege on your promise, are you?’ Ah, of course he had and her reminding him proved that her mind was on their conversation and not on him.

  ‘No, I’m...’ How much to tell her? She had been honest and open with him, far more so than he’d been anticipating. His attraction to her should no
t make him careless, but for the moment he was stuck up here, at least until nightfall. She could help him if he told her the details of his suspicions.

  ‘Sir William.’ Her tone was sharp—she obviously believed he was backing out of his promise.

  ‘I’m wondering where to begin,’ he said placatingly.

  ‘Why are you here?’

  ‘King Edward III is planning a visit. He will be here in seven days. It is my duty to ensure everything is ready for him.’

  Her eyes widened. ‘King Edward. Coming here. Why?’

  That was an easy one to answer. ‘He is touring the country, making sure his people know him.’

  She shook her head. ‘That cannot be the whole reason. His father was concerned only with the bloodshed of Welshmen in the pursuit of his own power.’

  From the tilt of her jaw, William suspected Edward II’s Welsh campaign had not endeared Avva to the Royal Family. That was going to pose a problem when he asked for her help. From the little he’d gleaned from her she would do the right thing, even if it went against her feelings. She’d rescued him from the river, after all, when the sensible thing would have been to let him drown.

  ‘Well?’ she challenged. ‘What do you have to say about that?’

  He had quite a lot to say about it really. Edward II hadn’t been his favourite person—there were mistakes he’d made that had cost William personally—but he was loyal to his son, Edward III, and he believed, with everything he held dear, that the young King would unify Britain and make it a strong, wealthy country. But that was not what Avva wanted to hear.

  He couldn’t quite blame her either. Her experience of nobility was not how it was meant to be. Those who were stronger took care of those beneath them. It was what honour and chivalry dictated. He knew that was what Edward III believed in, otherwise William wouldn’t have dedicated his life to serving him. Seeing the glint in Avva’s eyes made him realise he would not be able to convince her of that quickly and time was already running away from him. He would have to use shock and awe to convince her to help him.