Asher
I sang my heart out to Jordan and somehow managed not to jump into the crowd to find out why she had tears streaming down her face. She cried through our entire set. And not the groupie I love you kind of cry, the heartbroken kind.
Natalie and Kelly stood beside her, but her eyes never left me as I tried to engage with the crowd. Those were the longest twenty minutes of my life. Near the end of the last song, I begged her with my eyes to wait for me after.
Once we finished, I wanted to leap off the front of the stage to get to Jordan, but the stage manager shuffled us offstage leaving me no choice but to follow him. I craned my neck to keep an eye on Jordan, but Jarom wasn’t having it.
“Dude, that was so sic! Did you see all those girls, man?” he grabbed my shoulders and shook. “They loved you!”
“Guys, I gotta run.” Much as I wanted to celebrate with them, I had to find Jordan. “I have to find Jordan.”
“Yeah, what’s up with her? Was she crying?” Adam asked.
But Jarom shook his head. “Man, are you crazy? Look at all these fans. You can’t leave now.”
I set my jaw. “I’m finding Jordan.”
Jarom held up his hands. The stage manager herded us to a set of stairs leading off the stage to the tents that had served as dressing rooms for the different acts. I pushed to the front to go down the stairs first, but at the bottom, a huge crowd had formed.
And they were all girls.
“Asher!”
“Asher, you’re so hot!”
There were a few shout outs to the other guys as well, but each time a girl called my name it felt like a direct hit. Because none of them were Jordan.
“Asher, who’s your girlfriend? I bet I can take her!”
My eyes widened at that one. There were so many girls, I’d never get passed them. Searching over their heads, I looked for Jordan by the blue tent. And I found her. Waiting. Watching. Crying. I lifted my hand, signaling for her to stay. She shook her head and panic filled my chest.
“Jordan!” She couldn’t hear me, but that didn’t keep me from calling out again. I fought my way through the girls who clawed at my clothes. My bandmates followed close behind, laughing and signing autographs like we were celebrities or something. This was a concert in the park, for goodness sake!
By the time I got away from the crowd and made it to the tent, Jordan was gone.
Feeling more desperate than ever, I sprinted toward my car, searching every face I passed for the one I wanted.
“Asher!”
Crap. My dad. I forgot he and Shari were going to be there. I stopped and turned around. They were walking my way, Caleb in an infant carrier strapped to my dad’s chest. His arms and legs flapped when he saw me. As much as I wanted to keep running, I had to talk to them. I almost couldn’t believe Shari talked my dad into coming.
“Asher, you guys were amazing.” Shari wrapped me in a hug. “Weren’t they, Derek? Really, you were so good.” She shook her head like she couldn’t believe it, but her eyes shone with pride.
“Thanks. That means a lot.”
Dad still hadn’t said anything and when I turned to him, I focused my attention on my little brother.
“Hey, buddy. Did you like my music? Yeah?” He grabbed onto my finger. “You’re my biggest fan, huh?”
Caleb gurgled. “Uh!” he shouted. I smiled because that was as close as he could get to saying my name.
Dad cleared his throat, affectively killing my smile. I stood up straight and met his gaze.
“You guys sounded really good, Ash.”
Wow.
And he didn’t even appear to be choking on the words.
“Thanks, Dad.”
The moment turned awkward. Of course, Shari stepped in to save the day.
“Where’s Jordan? I thought she was here with you?”
“Oh, um,” I reached my hand up to the back of my neck. “We got separated. I was looking for her when I ran into you guys.” They didn’t need the gory details.
Shari frowned, her eyes darting around, looking for Jordan herself. “Well, you should go find her. Who knows who’s at this thing. You shouldn’t leave her alone.”
I didn’t want to. Leaving her alone was the last thing I wanted. “I’m sorry to rush off. But you’re right. I should go find her.” I started to move away. “I’ll see you guys later. Thanks for coming!” I called over my shoulder and took off at a run, my mind once again going to what had happened.
We were good. Everything was fine when I left her. Less than an hour ago my life was about as perfect as it could get.
The whole way to my car, I kept hoping she’d be there waiting for me, but that would have been too easy. Something had happened. Somehow, I’d hurt her and I didn’t have any idea how. But it happened in the fifteen minutes between leaving her to find the band and her arriving to hear me sing. What could I have done in that amount of time? We weren’t even together!
My mind raced through all the possibilities. She’d been with her friends. What did they have to do with me? Had I offended one of them? Had they told her something? But what?
I had to find her. But where?
By the time I reached my car, I figured there was only one place.
When I got home, Dad and Shari were still gone.
I bypassed the house and headed straight into the backyard.
“Jordan!” I wanted to collapse with relief. Instead, I ran to her. “Jordan,” I breathed her name again when she didn’t push me away, because I had to hold her. “What happened? Why are you crying? I’ve been so scared.”
Her arms came around my waist and she held on. Her body shook with emotion.
I held her as long as I could until I had to see her face, her eyes. “Please, tell me.”
“I’m so stupid.” Her red, watery eyes closed tight forcing tears down her cheeks.
“No. I know you and you aren’t stupid. Whatever it is-” I’d do anything to comfort her. Knowing I craved the connection and hoping she did, too, I kissed her softly. I should have kept it short but I didn’t. Couldn’t. For several moments we shared sweet, tender kisses.
Jordan pulled away first, but not before wiping her tears on my shirt. I had to smile at that but it was short lived.
“Let’s sit down.” Taking her hands in mine, I led her to the wrought iron love seat. “Will you tell me what’s going on?”
She buried her face in her hands. “I feel so stupid.”
“Jordan, come on.” I pulled her hands down. “What happened?”
“I was talking to Kelly.”
I knew it had to do with her friends! But what?
“And?”
Jordan swallowed and she had a hard time meeting my eyes. “Kelly said she’s seen you.”
“Okay?” I saw Kelly every day. We had a couple of classes together. Not to mention the times I saw her when we were both with Jordan.
“She said she’s seen you with other girls.”
Whoa.
What?
I felt as though I’d been kicked in the gut.
I shook my head. “Jordan, no. Are you kidding?” I could just shake Kelly for trying to come between us like this. “I haven’t even looked at another girl since the first day of school when you yelled at me for parking in your spot.”
Jordan pushed herself out of my grasp, but she didn’t get up. I let my hands fall into my lap and ordered them not to touch her until I knew without a doubt she wanted them to.
“Kelly said girls hang all over you and flirt with you all the time and I never see it because we don’t have any classes together.”
Oh.
My damned cheeks flushed. Of course she noticed.
“It’s true!” Jordan jumped to her feet.
I hurried to join her. “No! At least, not the way Kelly presented it.” I covered my face with my hand. “Girls like me. Or they like the way I look. I never encourage any of them, but it’s true, they always try to hang around me.
Short of being a complete jerk to everyone I meet, what am I supposed to do?”
Jordan slammed her hands onto her hips. “Um, you could start by telling them you have a girlfriend?”
“You think I don’t do that? I’d announce it over the PA system if I thought it would help.” Gah, that made me sound so arrogant.
“Right. I bet it really bothers you to have girls falling at your feet. Just like at the concert.” Jordan’s accusation stung.
I thought about all the girls who flirted with me at school and the times I’d caught Ms. Jackson blushing around me. She wasn’t the only one. I’d been approached by perfect strangers. Propositioned. Handed business cards by talent agents looking for models. I even had an ex-girlfriend back in Minnesota whose mom came onto me more than once.
This wasn’t new. It likely wouldn’t get any better. Especially, if I had my way and made something of myself with my music. I’d seen it earlier that night. People who’d been milling around talking or shopping at the vendor tables stopped to listen to Breakout. By the time we’d finished our set, we’d drawn the biggest crowd of the day according to the event organizer who’d informed us as soon as we exited the stage.
A million different thoughts ran through my mind as I stared at her. All my life I’d been struggling for acceptance. Not because of my mom and her fame. Not because of my appearance or my talent. Not because of my abilities on the ice.
Because of me.
Asher.
I had the same insecurities as anyone.
I’d been objectified. Used. Discarded by my own mother. Manipulated by my father. And now Jordan wanted to accuse me of being what? Kind?
So, I smiled at the girls who listened to my music. I didn’t act like a jerk at school to my peers. I tried to be a good son and brother. I’d even been a friend to her brother!
If that made me a horrible boyfriend. Well, then I was a horrible boyfriend.
“I’ve never given you a reason not to trust me, Jordan.” My heart hurt. But I wouldn’t beg.
A mix of emotions passed through her eyes. She still held herself away from me.
My phone vibrated in my pocket. On instinct, I reached for it. Jordan’s gaze followed my hand. I moved to put it back in my pocket without really looking at it when a name on the screen caught my eye.
Crap.
I had to check. What if…
“I have to get this. It’s-” I couldn’t tell her who had texted me. I bit the inside of my cheek. Double crap.
Jordan rolled her eyes and jumped to her feet.
I opened the message and my stomach dropped down to my toes.
I slipped my phone back into my jeans and stood. “I have to go.”
“Where? Don’t you think we should work this out?”
I exhaled. “I didn’t do anything wrong, Jordan. I might not handle every situation the right way, but I haven’t done anything I’m ashamed of with any girl at school or anywhere else.”
She glanced at my phone. “And that?”
I closed my eyes knowing she wouldn’t let it go. “I can’t tell you.”
Her mouth dropped open before she snapped it closed. “Fine.”
My jaw clenched. I wanted to tell her. I wanted to so badly. But I couldn’t. Not without breaking a promise.
“Fine.”
I told Jordan the truth. And she still didn’t trust me. I wouldn’t lose the trust of someone else to gain hers back.
“You should go, then.”
“And this?” I asked, gesturing between us.
Her arms folded over her stomach making her look small. “I don’t know. Maybe we need a break.”
“Right.” I nodded to myself as I turned away from her. Right. “I’ll see you around, Jordan.”
Chapter Sixteen
Jordan
He walked away. He just walked away.
I went home and cried myself to sleep. I couldn’t remember the last time I did that. Definitely not since I’d reached double digit age. And I felt mortified to be crying over a boy. I wanted to scream.
At myself.
But maybe it just meant I had real feelings for Asher. It kind of blew my mind because it didn’t seem that long ago I thought I hated him. But what did it mean? I cared about him. I liked him. But what about the things he’d told me the night before? And what Kelly said, about him and other girls? Did I believe Asher that he didn’t encourage them? And even if he didn’t, could I be okay in a relationship with someone who attracted so much attention? I’d been there the night before. The audience loved Breakout. They were good. They were more than good. And they were all good looking. Gorgeous, even. What if Asher’s dreams were like his mom’s dreams, to make it big?
I didn’t have any delusions. I’d been dating Asher for just a short time, but I did have feelings for him. I wanted things to work out between us. Could I handle it if he became famous? If what happened last nigh was just the beginning?
I didn’t have the answers. And I didn’t know if I trusted him. He never called or texted after he left me last night. He refused to tell me where he was going or what he was doing. I hated the way it made me feel, distrusting, unsettled, insecure. Those weren’t the best emotions in a relationship. If we even had a relationship anymore.
The next morning I woke up to a quiet house. Mom and Dad left a note on the counter saying they’d gone to breakfast and then to the home improvement store. They’d be gone for most of the day. Payton had been allowed to sleep over at his friend Tyler’s house for the first time in ages and he hadn’t made it home yet.
The hot chocolate packets in the pantry were calling my name. I checked the fridge for cream before taking a pot down from the rack hanging from the ceiling to fill with water. The kitchen faced the backyard and the window over the sink gave me a perfect view of-
Payton?
The pot fell from my hand, clattering into the sink. What the heck? Why on earth was my little brother leaving the Sloane’s house?
Abandoning all thoughts of hot chocolate, I swung open the back door and marched outside. Payton’s head jerked toward me, a look of alarm on his face.
“What are you doing? You’re supposed to be at Tyler’s.” I was yelling. Who could blame me? “Why are you coming out of Asher’s house?”
Payton scowled. “None of your business. Why are you even awake? You never get up before noon on Sunday.”
Truth. But I had a hard time sleeping after last night.
I put my hands on my hips. “Not the point. Do Mom and Dad know where you are?”
Payton’s jaw tightened. “No. And they don’t need to know.” He pointed a finger at me. “And if they find out, I’ll know you were the one to tell them.”
“So what? They deserve to know if you’re doing something you shouldn’t.”
“Hey! Hey! What’s going on out here?” Asher came striding across the yard wearing a concerned expression and looking incredibly sexy in a I-just-woke-up kind of way.
I whirled toward him, ignoring my lustful thoughts because he’d become enemy number one again. “You!” I poked his chest. “What are you doing with my brother? He’s supposed to be at his friend’s house.”
Asher glanced at Payton. Some kind of silent communication passed between them making me more angry.
I poked Asher again. “You were supposed to help him!”
Asher caught my finger in his hand. “I have been helping him.”
“Oh, really? How? And how did he get here?” I thought back to the night before and the text message on Asher’s phone. The one he wouldn’t tell me about. The one he left me for. “It was Payton? On your phone last night?”
Asher’s lips pressed together.
I turned to Payton. “You texted him? Why?”
“Butt out, Jordan. This has nothing to do with you.”
“You’re my brother! And you.” I turned back to Asher. “You’re supposed to be my friend.”
Asher’s eyes narrowed. “Friend? That’s wha
t this has been, Jordan? Friends.”
I shrank back a little from the rancor in his tone. “Not anymore, it isn’t.”
Asher reared back as though I’d slapped him. And I might as well have for how awful I felt as soon as the words left my mouth.
“Asher-”
“No.” He put his hands out to stop me. “No. You don’t trust me enough to believe in me and you’re right. I don’t need friends like that.” He looked to Payton. “I’ll see you tomorrow, man. Remember what we talked about.”
Payton nodded while I struggled to breathe.
What had I just done?
Asher walked away. Without a backward glance, he left me standing there with my brother.
“Nice one, Jord.” Payton shook his head, and then he left me, too.
How did things get to be such a mess?
Slowly, I followed my brother into the house. He’d already gone upstairs. I heard the shower going. No longer feeling the need for hot chocolate, I grabbed a half eaten container of ice cream from the freezer in the basement and settled onto the oversized bean bag chair in front of the television.
Thank goodness for the Hallmark Channel.
The next morning, I didn’t wait around to see if Asher would stop by to pick me up for school. I knew he wouldn’t. I tried not to look for his car in the parking lot, but my brain had already been conditioned to find it. My stomach fluttered even though I knew I probably wouldn’t see him.
Natalie and Kelly had been calling and texting me since the concert on Saturday, but I’d been ignoring them. When Natalie approached me, it was with some trepidation. I didn’t miss the way her eyes flicked to the empty space on either side of me- Asher had been filling one or the other for weeks now- or how her face fell to find him missing.
“What happened?” she asked.
“Nothing. We broke up.” And I’d been crying for almost forty-eight hours, but why dwell on that? Or admit to it?
“What? Why?” Natalie thought Kelly exaggerated Asher’s interactions with his fan club. She called it ‘being nice’, while Kelly insisted he’d been flirting. At this point, I didn’t know what to think, other than I missed him.
Playing to Win (The Trouble with Tomboys Book2) Page 14
