Conrad

by Emily Rose

  “Don’t you want to meet him?” I asked, watching the house also.

  Miles didn’t say anything for the longest moment and then he spoke, “Yeah, but it would be better for Jase if I didn’t. If I walked into his life right now, he wouldn’t know what to think and I can’t do that to him.”

  My heart ached for him, but at the same time, I knew Miles was only doing what he thought was best for his son. Turning around in my seat, I looked at where Kevin’s daughter, Emory Cross, slept soundlessly in her car seat. She was beautiful, with a head full of thick black hair, and even if she had Kevin’s eyes, hers were pure whereas Kevin’s never had been. Emory was loved by me and Miles. There was no doubt about it and even if I was only a month shy of my 19th birthday and I never had a child myself, I somehow understood where Miles was coming from when it came to his son.

  “I get it,” I whispered and turned back around to face the house again.

  He didn’t say anything, and I kept silent too. This was his moment. It was his moment to tell his son goodbye, to tell Reanna goodbye.

  It wasn’t until a few months ago that I learned that Reanna was his ex-wife and the mother to his son. She was also the woman who would always hold a piece of his heart and I was okay with that. Reanna was an important part of Miles’ past and I accepted all of him, even the parts that some girls might not be able to understand.

  Suddenly, I saw someone open the curtain inside the house and look out as if she had somehow felt us watching. After a moment of watching, she vanished and then a second later, I saw the front door open. The girl came out into the yard and stopped at the edge, doing her best to see inside the car.

  “We should go,” Miles said and then reached up to flip his lights on.

  I watched as the girl used her hand to block the glare of his lights when we took off, the engine roaring loudly in my ears. He turned the corner quickly and took us back toward the spot we were supposed to meet Dare.

  “Who was that?” I asked as he drove.

  “Her name is Danny. She was an old friend,” he said, shifting into a higher gear.

  “Oh,” I said, looking straightforward.

  We were silent the rest of the way to the meet up, which was actually just a dirt pull off outside the city limits a few miles. It didn’t take us long to get there and when we did, I saw that Dare’s Jeep was parked with the lights on. Miles slowed until he could pull in beside him and I rolled my window down the same time Dare rolled his down.

  In the passenger seat of his Jeep, I saw my unlikely best friend, Jersey, as she leaned over the console, waving her hand like a crazy person.

  “Hi!!” She said.

  I waved and smiled. “Hi!!”

  “You ready?” Miles asked Dare.

  He leaned up to rest his arm on his steering wheel and looked at him. “I was born for this,” he said.

  Miles smirked and then shifted into gear, spinning gravel and dirt as he took off. Dare wasn’t far behind him either. A smile spread across my face and my heart picked up as we headed out of town, toward the place the four of us would soon call home.

  The beautiful state of California.

  THE END

  Keep reading for a bonus scene with Miles and Lesley!

  EPILOGUE

  Part Two

  1 year later

  Lesley

  “So, how does that work anyway?” Jersey asked as we walked down the pathway that bordered the beach with our milkshakes.

  The California sun shone down on us, and a warm breeze blew, brushing my hair behind me as I licked the tasty vanilla ice cream off my finger and spoke, “What do you mean?” I asked.

  She spun around, dropping her dark sunglasses down a bit, and started walking backwards as a shirtless guy on a skateboard went by us, “I mean, Miles is 29 and you are only 19. You guys haven’t even had sex yet or put a label on anything, yet you live with him. I’m just trying to understand,” she said before she turned back around.

  I laughed at her attempt at checking out the guy. “I don’t know. I guess we could be considered roommates,” I said.

  Jersey spoke and even though I couldn’t see her eyes, I knew there was an eye roll behind her glasses. “Geez, I don’t know how you do it. That man is sexy and well, I’m sure he could teach you all kinds of things in the bedroom considering his age and plus, I know how you feel about him even though you haven’t told him,” she said.

  Sighing, I tried not to think about the fact that I had fallen in love with Miles, but I had only ever spoken the words when he was unconscious, so I had no idea if he had even heard them or not. “I’d be careful how you describe Miles considering you’re banging Dare, you know, his brother,” I pointed out, hoping to switch the subject back to hers and Dare’s weird relationship.

  She laughed. “Oops, but Dare already knows I think Miles is hot. I’ve told him.” she said, waggling her eyebrows.

  I laughed once. “And what did he say to that?”

  “He rolled his eyes at me and smirked,” she said.

  Shaking my head, I threw my now melted milkshake into the trashcan and responded, “That doesn’t surprise me.”

  “But you are the weird one! I mean Miles and Dare are your stepbrothers after all, yet you love Miles and basically want to jump his bones,” she said.

  We bypassed a group of more shirtless dudes and I heard a few of them whistle at us. Unlike myself, Jersey watched them as we walked by and smiled. She was seriously such a flirt when she wasn’t locked in a crazy dude’s house, threatening to be sold to the next sick asshole that came along.

  I was honestly surprised by how well she, well all of us, were handling everything. I knew we all still had bad days and nightmares, but that would never end.

  Those few months we were locked in Marcus’ house together would forever be a part of us, but we were stronger because of it.

  And we just had to continue fighting each day, never taking it for granted.

  Miles, on the other hand, would always just be Miles. But there was even something different about him too and I knew it had everything to do with the amount of blood on his hands, but he never actually said that.

  Like always, he kept his emotions locked away.

  And I was okay with that, because he knew that if the moment ever came that he needed someone to open up to, I was there.

  It was hard enough for him since he was the only one of us forced to live with a different identity, much less not having someone to lean on. His DL, Social Security Card, and everything about his name was linked to Miles Cross, the name his father would have given him if he hadn’t been killed.

  “Oh, Dare just texted me. He said that himself and Emory are enjoying the park,” Jersey said, pulling me from my thoughts.

  I looked at where she held her phone out to me and saw the picture Dare had sent her. It was of him and Emory sitting on the slide. It was strange seeing Dare, dressed in all his stealthy, tactical glory, sitting on a slide with a little girl dressed in pink in his lap. But it was also the sweetest thing I had seen today.

  “Aww, aren’t they cute?” I said, smiling.

  Jersey looked at the picture, “Yeah, he’s a really good uncle.”

  I let Jersey have her moment of happiness and looked away. There was so many people walking the same path we were, but none of them would ever know exactly what brought us to this moment. No one would know just how dark our lives had to get before we saw the light.

  My mind drifted to my stepmother, Noah, Lila, and my father, all of whom were still back in Georgia. I missed them, even my stepmom and even though they knew what Marcus did, no one talked about it. That was just the way it had to be for all of us to move on with our lives. We had to put the past where it belonged, even if that was harder to do for Miles than rest of us.

  Jersey and I spent the rest of the evening walking down the beach, occasionally stopping at some shops or grabbing some cold drinks and food from the endless amount of food trucks that li
ned the streets. It wasn’t until the sun was beginning to disappear over the horizon that we decided to head home, which was actually just a few blocks away.

  I wasn’t sure how Miles and I managed it, but when we moved here, we had found a super cute two-bedroom condo that gave us an amazing view of the beach. It was only a bonus that it was just a few houses down from where Jersey and Dare were staying. Plus, Miles and I were splitting the bills, which made the price to live here so much cheaper.

  “Alright, so should I just drop Emory off in the morning?” Jersey asked when we reached the sandy path that lead up to the sliding glass door of my house.

  “That will work. She loves spending time with you guys anyway,” I said.

  Jersey smiled. “Alright, I’ll see you tomorrow then.”

  “You know it,” I said.

  We hugged, something we always did when we separated, and then I headed up the pathway. When I stepped onto the wooden deck, I smelled food. It was mouthwatering and my stomach growled with hunger as I walked inside, sliding the door closed behind me.

  I spotted Miles in the kitchen. He stood with his back to me at the stove, stirring whatever it was that he was cooking. You would think that after living with him for over a year, I would be used to seeing him shirtless, but nope. Like right now, he wore my favorite pair of dark gray sweatpants, which hung low on his hips, and his muscular torso was bare.

  My face heated and I couldn’t stop watching the way the muscles in his back worked each time he stirred the food.

  I seriously needed to get a grip.

  Clearing my throat, I made myself known. “Hey.”

  Miles glanced over his shoulder and those amazing eyes met mine, “Hey, you hungry?” He looked back to the stove before shutting off the burner and turning back around with the pan of what looked a hell of a lot like homemade fajitas in his hand.

  My stomach growled and I scooted onto the barstool. “Hell yes.”

  He chuckled and sat the pan on top of a rag on the counter before stepping back. I saw that there was only one plate, one fork, and one glass of water sitting next to the pan and I pulled my eyebrows together, “Are you not eating?” I asked.

  He braced his hands on the counter behind him, making the muscles in his forearms stand out even more. “No. I already ate. But I knew this was your favorite and you’d be back soon, so I thought I’d make it for you,” he said.

  I smiled up at him. “Thank you.”

  Miles shrugged like it was no big deal.

  Digging into the amazing food, I acted like I hadn’t eaten in days even though I had literally just eaten a hotdog a few hours before.

  I was so concentrated on my plate of food that I didn’t notice the way Miles was watching me until I glanced up and caught his eyes. With a mouth full of food, I swallowed the huge bite and spoke, “Why are you staring at me like that?” I asked.

  He kept his eyes steady with mine, and the devilish look in them made a chill go down my spine. “No reason,” he said.

  Blinking, I watched him watch me. The air inside the room seemed to collapse in around me and all I could see was him.

  “I’m going to go lay down,” Miles said slowly, as if he were only saying that as an excuse to get away from me.

  I nodded quickly and swallowed again. “Yeah, totally. Go get a nap. I’m sure you need it. I mean you just…. Yeah. Go take your nap,” I said, rambling.

  A slight, barely there grin pulled at the corner of his mouth and then he pushed off the counter, making his way around it and back upstairs. I sat with my heart in my throat and stared at the spot he had been, while my stomach knotted with butterflies. I had no idea what that look had been about, but it was clear he had seen something in my eyes that made that sexy grin appear.

  Shaking my head, I went back to eating and tried to forget the moment, but it was hard, especially considering Miles was right upstairs, shirtless, and probably laying in his bed now. That single thought ignited an ache between my legs, but I pushed it aside like I always did and finished my dinner.

  ****

  Later that night, I sat curled up on the sectional with the windows open, letting the warm breeze rolling off the beach come inside, and watched TV. It had been a few hours since Miles had vanished to his bedroom and even with the distraction of the TV, he was all I could think about. It didn’t help that I had found the bottle of wine in the refrigerator and I was on my second glass, which meant I was feeling really relaxed and maybe a little risky.

  My finger followed the rim of the glass as I stared at the TV, even though I wasn’t hearing anything that was being said on it. The longer I sat there in my tipsy daze, the more I felt like I should stop fighting myself. Taking a deep breath, I leaned up to set my glass of wine on the coffee table and then stood up, heading toward the stairs, barefoot and dressed in only my cut-off jean shorts and crop-top. It wasn’t until I reached Miles’ bedroom door that I felt how quick my heart was racing, but I pushed the panic aside and lifted my hand to knock lightly.

  “You can come in,” I heard him say from the other side of the door.

  I debated, frozen and panicking, but then I opened the door and took a step inside the room. None of the lights were on and he wasn’t laying in his bed like I had expected, but instead, he stood still dressed in just his sweatpants on the balcony with the double doors open, letting the warm breeze blow the black material that hung above the doors through the air lightly.

  Closing the door gently behind me, I kept my hands on the doorknob and spoke barely above a whisper, “You okay?”

  Miles braced his hands on the wooden railing and kept his back to me as he watched the waves crash against the Earth in front of him. “Just thinking,” he said.

  I pushed off the door and slowly walked out to stand beside him, making sure to keep some distance between our bodies. “What are you thinking about?” I asked, watching the way the stars and moonlight flickered off the water.

  “Everything,” he said.

  My eyes lifted to him, but he still wasn’t watching me, and I knew he was having one of those moments again. It happened like this often. He would become distant and get lost in the nightmares that kept trying to invade his beautiful, tortured mind. Slowly, I brought my hand up and rested it on top of his forearm, causing him to look down to where I was touching him before he lifted his eyes to mine.

  “Miles, you’re home. Don’t get lost dancing with your demons,” I said, while holding his gaze.

  He took a deep breath and then looked out toward the water again. “I don’t know if I’ll ever be home, Les.”

  My heart ached for him and I released his arm, looking away as the words I wanted to tell him threatened to come out. It was the reason I came into this damn room in the first place, so I needed to just tell him. If he knew how I really felt, then maybe he wouldn’t feel so alone, so lost. Dropping my gaze to my hands, I started twisting my shirt and spoke with a slightly shaky voice. “Miles, I kind of want to tell you something. That’s why I came to your room,” I said.

  I didn’t have to look at him to know he was watching me again. I could feel his eyes on me, and it made what I was about to say scarier some how.

  “I know you’re my stepbrother and I know things have been so messed up, but that didn’t stop it. I…” the words were right there on the tip of my tongue when he suddenly lifted his hand, putting a single finger to my lips and causing me to jerk my gaze up to his eyes, which were burning with an emotion I couldn’t read.

  “Don’t,” he whispered in a low, deep voice before slowly dropping his finger from my lips only to let all of his fingertips graze down my arm, leaving goosebumps in their path.

  My heart skipped and I stared up into his eyes, unable to speak or do much of anything as he continued to touch my skin as if he were savoring every inch of it. It wasn’t until he dropped his eyes to where his hand glided down my arm and spoke that my breath stalled.

  “Lesley, if it weren’t for you being
here to remind me every single fucking day that my life is worth living, I wouldn’t fight it. I would let the demons you keep mentioning take me back to where I belong,” he said and then intertwined his fingers with mine before lifting his eyes.

  My voice came out trembling. “And where do you think you belong, Miles?”

  He held my gaze steadily. “Hell.”

  Lifting my free hand, I placed it against the side of his face and my heart ached when I felt him lean into it as if the sensation of someone touching him kept him grounded. “You don’t belong in Hell, Miles. You belong here,” I said.

  Miles watched my eyes and the next thing he said had my heart racing with the same panic I had felt coming up here.

  “I want to kiss you, but I don’t deserve to,” he said.

  My lips parted and a small breath escaped me as I stared at him, because I could see just how much he thought he didn’t deserve my love and it only made me love him so much harder. Before I could convince myself to not do it, that it would change everything, I lifted to my tiptoes and closed the distance between our bodies.

  My lips barely met with his and everything about what I thought I felt became real. He tasted just like I imagined. Like ash mixed with flames, like a demon. It was enough to cause my heart to stop beating for a second before it started again.

  And then I pulled away, keeping my gaze on him as I did.

  Miles stared at me with a dark look in his eyes before he spoke in a deep, strained voice. “You shouldn’t have done that,” he said.

  I didn’t have time to register what he meant before he kissed me. My eyes closed on their own as Miles reached down with his hands, lifting me completely off the ground and twisting us toward the bed without ever breaking the deep, hauntingly toxic kiss that seemed to cause the air to crackle with fraught chemistry around us. The ache I had felt earlier returned with a vengeance and my breathing went all over the place as he gently laid me down on the bed, using his arms to brace himself above me.