Nick I don’t know.
Jonathan Don’t worry. You’re not alone. That’s what it’s like out there. I fly in to some orphanage, or college, or festival of new plays and they treat me like god – a demi-god – thank you, thank you, thank you – but still: that little flash of hatred in all of them. And I don’t quite now why that is. But I rather like it. Time for your shower. Then, if you feel like it, you can come with me and look at all the good work.
Nick I don’t think so.
Jonathan Think about it.
Scene Twelve
Helen’s flat.
Enter Helen. She wears a rosette. Hunts for leaflets. Finds them. Enter Nick from shower.
Helen I forgot these. What do you think? (Shows him photo on leaflet.)
Nick Terrific.
Helen How do I look? Suitably middle-aged?
Nick Yeah. No. You’re getting my vote.
Helen Good. Shall we send a car round? Get you to the polling station.
Nick It’s alright.
Helen It’s pissing with rain.
Nick I don’t mind a bit of rain.
Helen My hero.
Helen moves to exit.
Nick Thanks for having me back.
Helen Still time to change the locks, eh?
Nick Course. Why did you take me back?
Helen I’m all heart.
Nick Why?
Helen I don’t . . . Maybe because I can’t always wake up and think: let’s manage this, let’s organise that. Because sometimes I think . . .
Nick Yeah?
Helen This is all wrong. I want to change everything. I want to smash everything up.
Nick You think that?
Helen Sometimes. Just for a moment after I’ve woken up and then I think: no. Get on with the day. Do what I can.
Nick That’s what grown-ups think.
Helen Yeah. That’s what grown-ups think.
Nick We’re old, aren’t we?
Helen Fucking old. But you . . . I want you to be angry.
Nick I can’t do that any more.
Helen Nobody does that any more. I miss that.
Nick I can’t be your memory.
Helen I want to make you into what you used to be.
Nick That’s going to be difficult.
Helen Well I’m going to have a fucking good try.
Nick Just you try.
He moves to kiss her.
Helen I’m damp.
Nick So am I.
They kiss.
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Methuen Drama Contemporary Dramatists
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Shopping and Fucking was first published by Methuen in 1996
Copyright © 1996 by Mark Ravenhill
Faust is Dead was first published as Faust (Faust is Dead) by Methuen in 1997
Copyright © 1997 by Mark Ravenhill
Handbag was first published by Methuen in 1998
Copyright © 1998 by Mark Ravenhill
Some Explicit Polaroids was first published by Methuen in 1999
Copyright © 1999 by Mark Ravenhill
Collection copyright © 2001 Mark Ravenhill
Introduction copyright © 2001 Dan Rebellato
Mark Ravenhill has asserted his rights under the Copyright, Designs and Patents Act, 1988, to be identified as the author of this work
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CAUTION
All rights in these plays are strictly reserved and application for performances etc. should be made to Casarotto Ramsay and Associates Limited, Waverley House, 7–12 Noel Street, London W1F 8GQ. No performance may be given unless a licence has been obtained.
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Ravenhill Plays: 1: Shopping and F***ing; Faust is Dead; Handbag; Some Explicit Polaroids (Contemporary Dramatists) Page 23
