If Only You Knew

by Carla Fredd

  He raised his brows. "No harm," he said sarcastically. "You could have been stuck in your car and froze to death. You could have had an accident. Anything could have happened to you as a result of switching to a later flight."

  "How was I supposed to know there was going to be an ice storm?"

  "If you knew, would you have given up your flight?" he asked as he cut his steak.

  She grimaced with guilt. He knew her too well. "I uhmm ..."

  "You'd have given up your seat anyway. Wouldn't you?" he asked quietly—however his frustration came through loud and clear.

  She nodded yes then said, "But her son is only a few months old and she hasn't seen him in so long."

  Ric shook his head and his brown eyes gleamed with determination. "You've been away from home for the same amount of time. You needed to come home just as much as your co-worker."

  Placing her hand over her heart, she replied, "I don't have a family waiting for me at home like Cally does."

  "True, but you do have family and friends that want you to get home in one piece."

  "Speaking of which," she said as she stood, "I'd better check the messages on my answering machine. If my parents or either of my brothers heard about this storm, they'll have been calling to see if I made it home."

  She had six messages on her machine. Her parents had called twice, both of her brothers, her best friend, Janet, and Cally had left messages to call as soon as she got home. She called her family, reassuring each of them that she was safe and sound at Ric's house. Her brothers gave her grief about driving in the storm, and no amount of explaining would convince them that it was not her fault that she was caught by surprise in the storm. When she finally got off the phone, she wished that she was an only child.

  "Would you like to have two older brothers? They're free," she said leaning against the kitchen wall.

  "No, thanks. I don't need any more family."

  She winced at his harsh, unyielding tone. "I was just kidding, Ric."

  "I wasn't." He cleared the dishes off of the table and began to load them in the dishwasher.

  Family had always been a touchy subject with Ric. She knew that he and his aunt and uncle weren't close and couldn't understand why. The Stewards were hard-working, kind people. Anna May had witnessed Ric's rejection of their affection several times when they were still in high school. When she'd asked him why he acted the way he did, he'd either change the subject, or if she pressed him for an answer, Ric would tell her in no uncertain terms that he didn't want to talk about it.

  For the most part she'd avoided the subject of family when she was with him, but sometimes she would forget to be careful. Family was such a large part of her life. She couldn't imagine not having a close, loving relationship with her family.

  "I've got to call Janet," she said when he continued to stack the dishes.

  Next to Ric, Janet Hill was her closest friend. They'd met in college and been friends ever since. For all of the bad-girl front that Janet portrayed, she was a caring, tenderhearted person. The phone rang only once before Janet answered.

  "Hi, Janet."

  "Where the hell are you?" she demanded. "It's nine o'clock. You said your flight was due in at five o'clock. I've been calling your house every hour on the hour for the past two hours. I finally tried your car phone and got no answer—"

  "I'm at Ric's," Anna May interrupted.

  There was silence on the other end of the line. "You're at Ric's? Alone? Just the two of you?"

  "Yes," Anna May said as Ric placed the last dish in the dishwasher and left the room.

  "Good. Maybe Ric will realize that it's you that he loves, and y'all will make mad passionate love."

  "Hah. Fat chance." Anna May couldn't keep the hurt from sounding in her voice.

  "Sometimes you just have to take a chance, Anna May."

  "Taking chances is your job. You're the stockbroker."

  "Stocks, bonds, and annuities aren't the same as a loving man."

  "I know. I'm glad you aren't out in the storm. Do you have enough food.?"

  "Changing the subject, are we?" Janet asked drolly. "I'll let it go for now."

  Anna May talked to Janet for a few minutes more before going in search of Ric.

  She found him in the den, her favorite room in the house. A large stone fireplace with gas logs dominated the room. Ornate crown molding decorated the fifteen-foot-high walls. Four nine-foot windows lined the wall opposite the fireplace. The room reflected Ric's need for order. This room, like the kitchen, had everything in place. It looked like a showroom model of what a den should be. The room was beautiful, but it needed something to make it come alive.

  Ric sat in a large leather chair that she privately called his throne. He looked up from the book he was reading when she walked into the room.

  "Did you get in touch with Janet?"

  "Yes." She sat on the navy blue sleeper sofa and propped her feet on the coffee table.

  Ric stared at her sock-clad feet. "Did you know you have a hole in your sock?"

  "Yep." She wiggled her toes. When he continued to stare at the hole, she put her foot across her knee. "If that hole bothers you, I can turn it around so it faces me."

  He gave her an annoyed look.

  "What are you reading?" she asked.

  "A book."

  Anna May grabbed one of the pillows scattered on the sofa and threw it at him. He caught the pillow and set it aside.

  "Testy, testy," he said then smiled.

  "Just answer the question, smart-mouth," she said.

  "Silence of the Lambs."

  "Oh," she muttered. "Have you gotten to the part where—"

  "Anna May, don't do it."

  "Do what?"

  "Tell me about the book." He glared at her then closed the book.

  "Don't stop reading on my account. I promise not to tell you how the book ended."

  She looked around the room, hoping that something other than Ric would catch her attention. Her gaze returned to Ric.

  "Where are the cards?"

  Ric nodded to the entertainment center next to the fireplace. "Look on the bottom shelf."

  She went to the entertainment center. DVD's and CD's were neatly stacked on the shelf. She found the pack of cards resting on top of a checkerboard set. She picked up both items and returned to her place on the sofa. She spread the cards on the coffee table and began to play.

  "What are you doing?" he asked.

  "Playing solitaire," she replied meeting his puzzled gaze.

  "You don't have to do that. I'll play a game with you."

  "No, read your book. I'm fine," Anna May said as she placed a card on top of another.

  "Are you sure?"

  "I'm sure."

  Ric shrugged his shoulders then opened the book and began to read. She let her gaze linger over his strong face. His features were as familiar to her as her own. His high forehead had a tiny scar above his right eyebrow—a football injury. She'd been there when he was tackled and hit his head. She'd screamed when she'd seen the amount of blood streaming down his face. Ric still teased her about the blood-curdling scream, as he called it. Anna May smiled at the memory then placed another card on the table.

  She needed to wind down without imposing on Ric. She'd seen the flash of longing when he'd closed the book. If she asked, he would join her in a game of cards, but Ric rarely had the time to read for pleasure these days, and she didn't want to intrude on his time.

  After several boring hands of solitaire, Anna May had had enough.

  "Don't you want to do something?" she asked in desperation.

  Ric never stopped reading his book. "I am doing something."

  "I mean, don't you want to do something together?"

  "You're bored, aren't you?"

  "Kinda. Sorta."

  He marked his place in the book before he closed it and set it on the table beside him. "Okay, what do you want to do?"

  One hour later Anna May stared at
the checkers on the board. Ric had her cornered. No matter what move she made, she was going to lose ... for the third time.

  "You're going to have to make a move sooner or later," he said, his voice tinged with regret.

  "I know," she said making no attempt to move the game forward. She looked up from the board and saw the hint of a smile on Ric's face. "I don't have any hope of winning this game, do I?"

  "No."

  The lights flickered then went out completely. The light from the fireplace cast a faint orange glow about the room.

  "Does this mean I win the game by default?" Anna May asked.

  His rich laughter filled the darkened room. "No. Stay here while I get a flashlight and some candles."

  He entered the room a few minutes later and closed the door behind him. "It's going to get pretty cold in the rest of the house if the electricity doesn't come on soon." He set a portable radio, a flashlight, a box of candles, and a book of matches on the coffee table. "The gas logs will keep this room warm if we stay in here."

  Anna May tried to stifle a yawn but couldn't. The events of the day had finally taken a toll on her. "Sorry, I just realized how tired I am."

  "That's okay. I'll go upstairs and get some extra blankets. You can sleep on the sofa bed, and I'll sleep on the floor."

  "Oh, Ric—you don't have to sleep on the cold floor."

  "The carpet is thick, and I'll be closer to the fireplace than you will so I won't be cold."

  "But—"

  "I'm sleeping on the floor, Anna May."

  She recognized the stubborn tone in his voice. He wasn't going to change his mind no matter what she said.

  "Okay. I'll follow you upstairs. I need my suitcase."

  Ric led the way upstairs. He gave her the flashlight when they reached the guest room. "I've got another flashlight in my bedroom," he said when she gave him a puzzled look.

  The guest bedroom had a private bathroom. While brushing her teeth, she debated whether or not to change into her pajamas. She decided against the pajamas. She'd need the warmth of her sweat suit if the electricity didn't come on.

  Who would have thought that she'd be spending the night in the same room with Ric. She'd laugh if the situation weren't so pitiful.

  She put the toothbrush in her toilet kit. From the bottom of the bag, she removed a bottle of iron pills that her doctor prescribed. She swallowed the pill and took a sip of water. For the past month taking an iron pill had become a part of her nightly routine. If she could go through with the rest of her doctor's advice, she would be fine.

  Anna May reached inside the bag again and removed a small jewelry box. She laid the top on the counter and lifted a gold ring suspended from a chain. Ric had given her the ring years ago. She slipped the chain around her neck and tucked the ring beneath her sweatshirt. Only once had she not slept with the ring between her breasts, and that was when she'd had surgery a few years ago.

  "Anna May," Ric called through the door. "I'm going downstairs. Do you want me to wait for you?"

  Anna May touched the ring beneath her shirt, closed her bag, and walked to the door. "I'll go with you."

  He'd changed into khaki pants and a plaid flannel shirt. Both items were pressed and starched.

  They carried pillows and blankets that would become Ric's bed downstairs to the den. Ric moved the coffee table and unfolded the sofa bed. Each of them prepared their own bed. Anna May laid in the bed, and watched him lay the final blanket on the floor.

  "Good night, Ric."

  "Good night, Anna May." He blew out the candle.

  She heard the rustle of covers when he laid down. A few minutes later, she heard his restless movements. She opened her eyes and saw him take off his shirt. His tight muscles seemed to glow in the firelight as he folded his shirt and laid it on the floor. Anna May closed her eyes. Suddenly she wasn't tired.

  She didn't know what awakened her later that night. It could have been the sound of the door opening or the cool air that flowed into the room from the open door. She sat up, brushing her hair off her face. Rumpled blankets marked the spot where Ric once lay.

  "Did I wake you up?" Ric walked into the room carrying a cup and a flashlight. Sometime during the night, he'd put on his shirt.

  "Hmm. What are you drinking?" she asked, her voice husky from sleep.

  "Tea."

  "Couldn't you sleep?" she asked as the minty fragrance of tea reached her.

  "I'll go to sleep once I finish this." He put the flashlight on the coffee table, then he lowered himself to the floor.

  "Good night," she said lying back in the bed. She watched him hold the cup of tea with both hands then take a sip. The flannel shirt stretched tightly across his shoulders. He seemed to be mesmerized by the flames in the fireplace. That's when she saw him shiver. She threw the covers off the bed and walked over to him.

  He looked up in surprise. "What are you doing?"

  She placed the back of her hand against his cheek. He was ice cold.

  "Were you going to spend all night freezing on the floor?" She didn't wait for him to answer. Pointing to the sofa bed, she said, "Get in that bed."

  "I'll be fine. I just need to warm up a little," he insisted.

  "If you're worried about your virtue, I'll stay on my side of the bed and you can stay on yours. But you can best believe that both of us will be in that bed or"—she paused—"both of us will be freezing on the floor. What do you want to do?"

  Ric leisurely drank the last of his hot tea until she sat down beside him in front of the fireplace.

  He glared at her.

  Anna May smiled at him.

  Ric set his cup on the table then stood to his feet.

  "Come on," he said holding out his hand.

  Anna May took his hand and stood. Together they walked to the sofa bed.

  As she lay down on her side of the bed, she wondered if she'd ever fall asleep. She and Ric were in bed together. It was an event she was sure would never happen.

  "Good night," Ric said then settled in the bed with his back toward her.

  "Night, Ric," she replied. There's no way I'm going to fall asleep. No way. She turned on her side with her back to him, pulled the covers over her shoulders, and stared into the darkness. It was going to be a long night, she thought.

  Chapter 2

  The early Saturday morning sun peeked through the windows in the den. Anna May opened her eyes and stretched her arms. The arm draped over her waist tightened. She froze in midstretch. Ric snuggled next to her in spoonlike fashion. Even through the fabric of her sweat suit, she could feel his arousal against her hip.

  "Good Lord," she whispered, heat rushing to her face. How was she going to get out of the bed without awakening him? If he woke up now, they would both be embarrassed. Maybe she should lie there pretending to be asleep until he woke up. That wouldn't work. She had to go to the bathroom. Soon. She carefully took his arm and tried to move out of his embrace. Instead of releasing her, Ric moved even closer to her. If she wanted to get out of the bed, she'd have to wake him. She took a deep breath and shook his arm.

  He was hard as a rock, and it was all because of Anna May Robinson. The tile felt cool beneath his hands as he braced himself against the bathroom wall. A forceful spray of cold water streamed down his chest and legs, doing little to improve his condition. For months he'd kept his attraction to Anna May under control, hiding it behind the shield of friendship. In one night he'd blown his control totally.

  He knew the exact moment that his feelings for her had changed. Last summer she'd convinced him to attend a cookout given by her next-door neighbors. In a business setting, he could socialize with anyone; however, when it came to personal environments, he tended to stay to himself. He would have done the same thing at the cookout, but Anna May wouldn't let him. She introduced him to her neighbors, a young couple recently married. Before he knew it, he was mingling with the other guests, discussing everything from the national news to the chances of the Atlanta Bra
ves winning the World Series while eating hot dogs and potato salad. He, along with some of the other men, set up a volleyball net.

  The guests divided into teams and positioned themselves on the freshly cut grass. He and Anna May played on the same team. With the game tied, they both attempted to hit the ball over the net. They collided, throwing them both off balance. He landed on his back, and air rushed out of his lungs when Anna May landed on top of him. It hadn't occurred to him that his best friend was a woman until her long legs tangled with his, and her soft breasts were pressed against his chest. Desire rushed hot and wild through his body, intensifying when her hips brushed against his manhood. He would have kissed her senseless then and there if she hadn't quickly gotten to her feet with the help of one of the team members.

  The other guests must have thought him strange. He was quiet the rest of the party, trying to come to grips with his attraction to Anna May. It was as if he saw her for the very first time and he couldn't get enough of the sight of her. The green cotton T-shirt clung to her breasts. White walking shorts accented her shapely hips. He found himself watching her every move the rest of the afternoon until he couldn't bear to watch her without doing something about it. That's exactly what he'd done, nothing. He wasn't about to ruin his friendship with her because his hormones had kicked into overdrive. Besides, Anna May was the kind of woman who believed in the happily ever after. She wanted a husband, two children, and a house in the suburbs. She wanted a family ... something he wouldn't give her.

  With a savage twist, he turned off the shower and brushed aside the past memories. He grabbed a towel, wrapped it around his waist, and walked into the bedroom.

  "I should have never agreed to get into the bed with her in the first place," he muttered. His body had betrayed him while he slept. Now the damage was done. Anna May was innocent in many ways, but there was no denying the physical evidence that he wanted her. He couldn't lie to himself and excuse his arousal as one of those early morning things that happened. He'd been dreaming of the two of them making love. It was Anna May who he wanted.

  Just thinking about the way her body fit perfectly against his was enough to destroy what little relief the cold shower had provided. Last night the layer of clothing that had separated them seemed nonexistent. He could still feel the firm, subtle curve of her hips nestled against his manhood, the weight of her breasts against his forearm, and the chain with the ring he'd given her warm with the heat of her body. The ring was an IOU, and each time he saw it, which was almost every time he saw her, it reminded him of the debt he owed. A debt he had yet to repay.