by Deena Remiel
“We don’t have to. Are you absolutely sure?”
“Yes. Make love to me, Parker. This way, every way.”
Raising her up to rest on her knees, he held her hips in his strong hands, entering her slowly at first, but when she moaned her approval, he increased the pace. She cried out as waves of orgasmic bliss racked her body. He continued to thrust and groan his rapture until he climaxed, too.
“Mine!” he half cried, half howled.
A sudden stabbing pain on her left hip caused her to flinch. “Aah! What the fuck? Oh, my God! Oh, my God!” Her world spun as he pulled out, collapsing beside her. She folded herself nearly in half to see what he’d done to her. “Son of a bitch, Parker! Son of a bitch! What have you done? You marked me?”
Outraged, she scrambled to her feet. “Sleazy, good-for-nothing, slime balls who want to possess everything around them.” She whipped around to face the object of her ire, still lying half-comatose, oblivious to the major infraction he’d perpetrated against her. “How could you do this to me? I told you I’d never be owned by anyone! You’ve ruined everything for us. Everything! I trusted you and your pretty, human words. My God, you destroyed everything we’d created. Don’t bother trying to find me. You won’t! If you do, you won’t like what greets you.”
She grabbed her clothes and ran off toward…toward…. She didn’t know where. Just not anywhere near him. Deeper into the woods she ran until her human legs gave out on her, so she shifted to run even farther. Fury coursing through her like a jet engine, she howled as she’d never done before. Anyone listening would know to steer clear, give wide berth, and don’t fuck with her.
She came upon an overhang perfect as a place to crash. The cave was shallow enough to see if it was occupied, yet deep enough to provide ample coverage from the elements. As it had started raining, it was the best bet to keep her dry. Her wolf inspected the area, sniffed around for any unwanted creatures then settled in for the night. Fat chance of her ever shifting to human again! Her red wolf would protect her from now on.
***
What the hell just happened? Parker sat up on his elbows, helpless to do anything but watch Shiloh run off. He’d already pissed her off. Not listening to her demands would make everything worse. Amidst a flurry of mumbles and exclamations, he tried to make sense of it all. From what he understood from her spewing, he’d royally screwed up.
But how? They’d promised themselves to each other every night in their dreams. He’d told her, unabashedly, how committed he was to her in every aspect of their lives. She’d agreed. They’d made love, for real, both as wolves and as humans. So what went wrong?
I bit her, marking her as my mate.
But it’s what all couples do.
I said she was mine.
Shit.
He’d completely ignored her fervent demand to be her own woman, which she’d stated in an earlier conversation. She would never be owned by anyone ever again. But marking isn’t about owning one another. It’s about proclaiming to others that no one else can touch. Her perspective had been skewed, no doubt aided by Josiah’s treatment of her. He should have listened to her better, though. He never should have assumed their coming together gave him permission to assert his claim on her. I’m not a wolf or man. I’m a pig.
Fuck, and double fuck.
If she didn’t come around eventually, there would be problems. Big problems. For both of them. What he’d done couldn’t be undone. Somehow, her thinking needed to be rewired on the matter.
He hurriedly dressed to track her scent then rethought his strategy. Going after her right now may not be the wisest thing to do. It could wind up backfiring. Instead, he would give her space, a chance to mull things over on her own.
With a heavy heart, he returned to his apartment above the grocery store and watched from his window as dawn arrived. As much as he wanted to go to her, he had to care for his pack. Today was pickup day. It promised to be doubly grueling considering he had no one to help him anymore. He sighed, got up to shower and dress then started his arduous journey to all of his providers.
As he drove down the main road through town, pack members emerged to cheer his return. The hero had come home victorious and laden with treasures. He knew how important this load was to them. Parking around the rear of the building, he turned off the truck and hopped down from the cab to begin the tedious process of unloading. He unlocked the roll-up door to reveal his treasures. Grabbing the first box, he turned to bring it inside.
“We thought you could use some help.” Blocking his way stood Kole, Max, and Jasper, with arms opened wide and broad smiles on their faces.
“Are you kidding me? You guys are awesome. Thank you!”
“Just tell us what to do or where to put things. We’ll have this sucker unloaded in no time.”
“Well, these first few rows of boxes can go straight to the front of the store. Place them in front of the labeled shelves they go on. Man, I can’t tell you how much I appreciate this.”
Ryker and Saja came around the corner. “We’re here to help, too! Our pack needs your Bread & Butter. You need us. It’s mutually advantageous to get you up and running, I would say.”
One by one, in pairs, in groups, the town showed up to get their Bread & Butter fully stocked. Caleb, Mitchell, and Rio showed up. Brick, Chance, and Julie; Paul, PG, and Kennedy; even his alpha, Drew, all came to lend a hand. Parker’s heart swelled with pride and love for his Tao pack. He divided them into two groups, the outside team, unloading the truck, and the inside team, stocking the shelves, refrigerators, and freezers. Once the truck was empty, those outside joined the inside team. In a few hours, his grocery store was filled to the max, ready for customers. It was a miraculous event. One he’d never forget.
Even Gee stopped by with trays of cheeseburgers and bowls of fried pickles to feed the army of helpers. As packmates slowly cleared out, he found an opportunity to approach the bear. If anyone could help Parker fix the mess he’d created, he could.
“Hey, Gee, do you have a few minutes to spare? I need your sage advice.”
“I have time. Come to my office when you’re ready.”
“Thank you, for everything.”
Gee nodded and left.
So, when the last of his packmates shook hands to leave, he left, too, heading straight to The Den. Paul tended bar. “Hey, I’m here to see Gee. Is he in his office?”
He nodded and jerked his thumb over his shoulder.
“Thanks.”
Parker knocked. A grunt came from behind the closed door. Assuming it meant for him to enter, he did. “Hey, thanks for seeing me.”
“I can’t help but see you. It’s an eye thing. No need to thank me. Advice? That you can thank me for.”
Laughing lightly, Parker sat down across from the old bear. “Gee, I screwed up royally. I don’t know what I can do to fix it.”
“Must be about a woman. When men screw up, it’s always about a woman.”
“Guilty as charged.”
“So, what have you done?”
“You’ve met Shiloh, Greyson’s sister-in-law, right?”
“Yes, such a wounded little pup.”
“This is gonna sound crazy, but our wolves have known each other for about two years now. In dreams.”
Gee’s brow rose.
“We became lovers, in our dreams. Crazy, I know. In those dreams, I became her reason to hope for a solution and an end to her captivity. When Greyson showed up with her, I couldn’t believe she was real, that our relationship had come to life right before our eyes. But the proof wouldn’t be denied. She acknowledged the same when we finally came together.”
“Sounds like all should be well, then. You were lovers in dreams. You can be mates for life.”
“Exactly what I thought. She agreed. But it’s all gone to hell.”
“What’s happened?”
“We mated.”
The werebear grunted.<
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“I marked her, Gee, as any mate would, but she saw my claiming as owning. She’d spoken vehemently against ever being owned by anyone, since Greyson’s brother had held her against her will. I got that. What I didn’t expect was her equating claiming with owning. She freaked out and ran from me. I know where she is, but I’m not sure if I should go to her. She made it pretty clear I shouldn’t ever again. I love her. She’s my mate. It’s gonna get increasingly difficult being apart from each other. I don’t know what to do to get her to forgive me.”
Gee grunted again, rocking in his chair. “Skewed perspectives lead to much misunderstanding.”
“Yes.”
“This little pup needs special care. You should have known better.”
Parker hung his head in shame. His wolf followed suit. “You’re right. I should have known. Damn it.”
“It is a rough road you travel. You must seek forgiveness for being a brute. You must enlist the help of a female to guide her in understanding the claiming. And you must honor her, not just with words, but with action. Good luck. You will need it.”
After opening a file on his desk, Gee started punching on his calculator. Parker had been summarily dismissed. He stood, and as he left, shut the door behind him.
Paul knocked on the counter, drawing Parker’s attention as he walked past. He wrote furiously on his notepad. Damn, you look like you just got a verbal beat down! Need a drink to soften the blow?
“Nah, rain check. I deserve to feel this sting a good long while. I’ll be by later, though, for dinner and that drink.”
Paul wrote again. I’ll make sure it’s a stiff one.
“Later, dude.”
Paul waved good-bye.
Parker walked to the store, hoping against hope she’d returned. She wasn’t downstairs. When he trudged to her apartment door, he listened, but utter silence met him. She has to come back, doesn’t she? She would need to wash up and change her clothes, wouldn’t she?
He slumped against her door. Not if she stays wolf. It frightened him beyond measure. The longer she stayed wolf, the harder it would be for her to shift to her human form. Given the fact her wolf hadn’t been allowed to surface for over two years, he wasn’t so sure she’d be willing to relinquish her newly realized freedom.
Ask forgiveness. Get help.
He’d get the help she needed first. It would hopefully pave the way to redemption. He called on a friend of his parents, Zamirah, to ask her to go to her. A telepathic empath, she could probably connect with and understand Shiloh’s inner dialogue. The sage woman agreed to meet him downstairs in his office.
“Thank you so much for coming, Zamirah. Have a seat.” He offered her his office chair.
“Thank you, Parker. Not a problem.” She eased herself down onto her seat with a minor groan. “So what’s the plan?”
He leaned against the edge of his desk. “I’ll take you as far as I tracked her. Then you’ll have to go it alone. There’s no way she wants me anywhere near her right now. She’s shifted to her red wolf, last I knew, but we’ll see. I need you to help her work through some heavy mind shit she acquired while being held captive for a couple years. The biggest one, the one that sent her running, is our mating process. What it means to be mated. She thinks it’s all about ownership, and it’s freaked her out. Houses also cause her stress. She won’t go inside them if at all possible.”
“Tall order, there, mister.” She stood, grasping his shoulder to give him a bit of a shake. “I feel terrible for what she’s gone through and what she’s still going through. I’ll see what I can accomplish. If she’s willing to listen today, hopefully, she’ll continue to do so tomorrow and in the days to come. So, tell me, where is she?”
“Nearly to the border of the pack lands. Zamirah, you gotta make this work.”
She offered him a confident grin as she tapped his cheek gently. “I’ll do my best, honey.”
Chapter Eight
Shiloh hadn’t wanted to draw attention to herself, but she needed to unload. So much had happened over the course of just a couple days, her head swam. Captivity, freedom, love, betrayal. It was all too much for her. Singing helped her calm down. If Parker dared to track her, she’d tear his heart out to eat it for dinner. Not really, but anger, hurt, and confusion left her unpredictable, so who knew what she was capable of doing in the heat of the moment?
With the rain having diminished to a few stray drops, she sat on the overhang to continue her melancholy song. The sound of shifting leaves and needles underfoot silenced her. Her ears perked up. Catching the scent of a stranger frightened her. “Who’s there?” she snarled, scrambling about trying to locate the intruder. “I hear you. Come out! Show yourself!”
“Don’t be afraid.” A small, gray wolf with tinges of silver around her face stepped into view from the thick underbrush. “It’s only me, Zamirah, a Tao pack member. I’m a friend of the Bennett family.”
“The Bennett family?” She growled as she made the connection, “What do you want? Did Parker send you here?”
“I won’t lie.” The wolf took another step closer. “He asked me to come. I agreed to, willingly. Shiloh, I know what you’re going through. I’ve had my own struggles with trauma and PTSD. It took a bit of time to feel normal again. I imagine normal for you is an abstract idea at the moment.”
Shiloh chuffed her agreement. “He’s wasted his time. You can go on home.”
“I’d rather not. He may have asked me to come, but I want to stay because I see so much of who I was in you. If you let me in a little, I can help you. Someone helped me, so I believe in paying it forward. What else have you got going on tonight besides that lovely singing? Give me a chance.”
“How do you suppose you can help me?”
“I’m a telepathic empath. My abilities allow me to go beyond those walls you’ve created for self-preservation to get to the root of your issues. Once there, I can help you accept, release, and sculpt a new, healthier perspective on the world. Would you like to live a healthier, happier life, Shiloh?”
Pent-up emotion choked her. She coughed. Maybe getting help wouldn’t be so bad after all.
No! Paranoia held her tight in its grasp. Not from anyone remotely tied to Parker. They had their own agenda.
She shook her head vehemently. “No! Leave me, now!”
Zamirah lowered her head, whining. “I’ll do as you say, but each moment you don’t face your demons, they grow larger, more dangerous.”
“Go!” Shiloh barked, threatening to pounce on the smaller, ancient wolf.
Zamirah shrank away and ran off, leaving the broken red wolf alone with her raw, untamed emotions.
Shiloh howled with reckless abandon then broke into a wolf song she’d never sung before. It came from the depths of her wounded soul crying out to any who would listen.
“Shiloh,” a new, softer voice whispered seemingly from the ground. “Shiloh.”
She twirled around to find the body to the voice, but failed. “What now?”
“Shiloh, come.”
The disembodied voice seemed to emanate from inside the cave she’d holed up in. She scooted off the overhang, cautiously peering inside. A warm, inviting glow drew her in. As she reached the center of her shelter, the air around her shimmered. At the rear of the cave appeared a golden wolf.
“Shiloh, my pup. I am Aquene, your spirit guide. Your desperation called to me, so here I am. Come sit by me.”
She obeyed, like a reluctant child to its mother, but each step toward the glowing wolf filled her with more confidence and curiosity. “I was desperate in my captivity. Where were you then?”
“You had your mate. You had no need of me. But you need me now. It is clear.”
Shiloh scrutinized the visage in front of her. “You…you remind me of my great-grandmother. Her voice. Her grayed fur. I loved her so much.”
“It is so. I believe you are ready to transcend your current circumstance.
To move forward, you must go back.” She tapped an insistent paw on the ground beside her.
Mesmerized, helpless to do anything else, Shiloh did as she was bid.
“Relax. Let me in. Let me see and feel your inner world.” The spirit guide set her muzzle against Shiloh’s forehead. The red wolf watched in a stupor as Aquene pulled away, nodded, or frowned every so often. “Well, my dear one, you’ve got a lot going on up in that head of yours, don’t you? Want to just forget your childhood? The past two years? Push it all down and out of sight, huh? Literally, out of mind?”
“Th-that was my plan, yeah.”
“Won’t happen,” the sage wolf scoffed. “Not this way. You’re headed down a self-destructive path. Houses not your thing anymore? Give it time. This overhang won’t be either. You’ll suffer brutal winters outdoors, risking death before finding an enclosed dwelling. Shiloh, shelter isn’t your enemy. Josiah was. He used his house as a jail to hide you and his nasty dealings from the world. But he’s dead now. You can choose to enter or leave any building you wish of your own accord. You can choose to make an enclosed space warm and inviting. You are in control, not Josiah.”
Shiloh whimpered. “I’ve been so afraid the doors I walk through will lock for good behind me. I’m sure it sounds crazy to you.”
“Not crazy. A natural response given what’s happened to you. But do you see how skewed your perspective is? Do you see how you now have the freedom once denied you?”
She considered, ruminated, and let that thought settle in her mind. She now had freedom once denied. “Yes, yes, I do.”
“Every day, walk into buildings or friends’ homes in town. Stay inside for as long as you can then choose when to leave. Even if you start out only able to be inside for a few minutes, increase the length of your stay the next time. You will reduce the fear by creating a new, positive reality to replace the old nightmare.”
“I see your point. I think I can do it.”
“Good. You can always count on your friends to help you with this, too. Now, there’s one more hurdle you need to jump, Shiloh. It’s a pretty serious matter. Let me ask you. How are feeling right now?”
