Me and My Ghoulfriends

by Rose Pressey

  There was silence for a moment. You could have heard a pin drop. I closed my eyes in order to help them move on. Maybe my power would seep over to them. After a minute, I opened one eye to see if they were still there. Yep, still there. I closed my eyes once more. After a couple of more minutes, I opened my eyes again. Still there. Damn.

  "Well, this is not working guys. Really, I'm flattered that you would want to stick around. But..."

  Mrs. Williams coughed.

  "I know you don't want to stay around, I get it. I'm working on it the best I can.” I waved my hand dismissively at her.

  "Mr. Haynes, don't you want to cross over? It's much better than being stuck here with me, I promise you."

  "Actually, I'm having fun with you here. You're at lot of fun to be around. Besides, I want to find out what's wrong with Mr. Callahan. I don't think the way he's acting is normal.” He shook his head. “I loved my wife dearly, but I never walked around like that. He doesn't act natural."

  Everyone nodded in agreement.

  "Look, we will never know what is wrong with him, because there is nothing wrong with him. He is in love. Simple as that. So just forget about him."

  "Maybe you could go on a double date with them. Mr. Haynes here would take you out,” Mrs. Williams snorted. She began laughing hysterically at her snide remark.

  She could be so vicious.

  "I won't dignify that with a response."

  Mr. Haynes shrugged his shoulders.

  "What about you Vivian, why are you still here?"

  "I would like to see what happens as well,” she said with her delicate voice.

  Ugh. They were all impossible to deal with. I fell backward onto the chair.

  "Maybe I will go pay Brianna a visit again. She's such a lovely girl,” Mrs. Williams said with a smirk.

  I'd tried my best to block Mrs. Williams's terse remarks out, but it just wasn't working. She made it very difficult to block out her nastiness.

  So it looked as if I was stuck with these outlandish characters for heaven knew how much longer. I needed to train them to do my work for me while they were around. Maybe then they would get sick of working and move on.

  I'm pretty sure there was no work in heaven, although I couldn't say for sure, but then, neither could they. They couldn't argue that fact with me, as much as they might try to. I sat there for a bit longer, staring at all of them.

  After a while I had no choice. I gave in to the fact that they weren't leaving and said, “Who's going to the grocery with me?"

  I got startled looks from Abe and Vivian.

  "What?"

  "You want us to go drinking with you?"

  "What? Yes, I can get something to drink there."

  "I do not think a grocery is any place for a lady."

  Well I'd heard some strange things before, but that was at the top of my list. That statement was a little odd to say the least. Wasn't a woman's place in the kitchen back then?

  "What are you all talking about?"

  "The grocery is where they served beer back then,” Mrs. Williams snapped. She rolled her eyes at me like I was a complete idiot.

  "Oh, oh. Well, I'm sorry. A grocery means where you go to buy food nowadays."

  They looked at me with a look of confusion.

  "Just stay put, I'll be back soon.” I didn't need them following me around in the store anyway. I certainly didn't have time to explain the difference, either.

  Still I received blank stares.

  "I hardly think we'll miss you,” Mrs. Williams said, in her usual snippy tone.

  "Fine, I'm going then. I'll see you guys later. Um. And ladies,” I added.

  I grabbed my belongings and headed for the door.

  Obviously they sensed I was stressed because one by one they all vanished. But I knew they had not vanished in a good way. No, they'd be back soon, and probably at the most inopportune time. Like this morning, when Mrs. Williams had popped up complaining to me about her husband when I was in the shower. She really enjoyed belting out a song or two to annoy me as well.

  And then there was Vivian's newly found interest in the soap operas. I wasn't a fan of them, but at least it kept her quiet. And, of course, I couldn't forget dear Mr. Haynes, bouncing around all over the place. He usually followed me everywhere I went. And last, but not least, Mr. Lincoln was always around, too.

  The sky was a dull shade of gray as I made my way home. It looked as if rain would sputter from the clouds at any moment. Magnolia was in store for a gloomy evening and, to top it off, I was going home to clean; I never had gotten around to it the other night.

  How exciting was my life, dateless but not ghost-less. I couldn't wait to get out of town and carry out another investigation. Although I knew it would mean more ghosts, it would be worth it. A ghost hunt was just the right medicine for me. I needed to cure my woes by getting myself away from the love-struck goons.

  I pulled up to my house and sighed as I trudged through the door, struggling with my bags of groceries. Straight to the kitchen to put away the food, and then on to my grubby cleaning duties. While everyone else was out having fun, I was stuck at home with a bunch of ghosts, cleaning my toilet.

  After an unglamorous evening of scrubbing, I wandered around my house, reflecting on the past three years since I'd become really serious about helping others deal with the unknown world that surrounded us.

  We walk through life oblivious to the things just outside of our vision. Sometimes, with a big surprise, they pop through and allow us a glimpse. Not surprisingly, most people freak out when they catch that preview. I figured if I could help with that in some way, no matter how small, then I needed to do my part. So I embarked on my crazy journey as a ghost hunter.

  I paddled across the cold hardwood planks to retrieve my bunny slippers. I had to admit, even though it was somewhat lonely, it felt good to be home and cozy. Home was where I really loved to be, outside of the store.

  My home was a simple farmhouse with all the ambiance of days gone by, yet modern conveniences. I'd gone for a short drive one day, and stumbled across the place with a For Sale by Owner sign proudly stuck in the yard.

  The warm feeling that had flooded my heart when I'd seen the house let me know I had to have it right away. It was a real gem, as far as I was concerned. Three bedrooms with two baths were ideal, and then the exposed beams in some of the rooms were the icing on the cake. The couple selling it had updated the kitchen and bathrooms to persuade somebody to buy the house, and that was all I needed to seal the deal.

  Of course, the old man who had owned the place when it was originally built in 1895 was still around when I'd bought it, but once I'd gotten rid of him, it was perfect. After my trip down memory lane, I finally collapsed into bed.

  Mrs. Williams had decided to sing the entire compilation from Grease to me. Let's just say she doesn't sound like Olivia Newton-John, either. Mrs. Williams sucks.

  [Back to Table of Contents]

  Chapter 22

  The next morning, before I opened the shop, I decided to take a walk to help clear my head. With the ghosts draining my energy, my mind was foggy. I'd never been good at keeping spirits from tapping my energy. I emitted it like a beacon for them and they zoomed in on it like a distressed ship in the night. I had more energy for them to draw on than the average person, so they didn't hesitate to take it. They never asked first.

  It was a crisp fall morning, and the sky was an endless blue. Finally the gloomy skies had cleared. I strolled down the streets of town, window shopping in the stores surrounding mine. I pulled my jacket a little tighter around my neck to knock off the chill as I looked in the window of the jewelry store. A sparkling diamond bracelet had caught my eye. A few silent minutes passed while I gazed through the window before I crossed back over the road, making a special effort to avoid Brianna's shop.

  As I made my way around the corner I saw her spiky-haired blond head coming swiftly toward me. Her steps quickened the closer she got, and he
r spiked heels ricocheted through the street. Was she coming to attack me? I'd have to fight her right there in the middle of the sidewalk with everyone gawking. That news would spread to my grandparents at Summer Glen in record time.

  As I watched her draw near, I wished I'd bought pepper spray or some other form of weapon. All I had was my purse. It was either slug her with my purse or use my fists. The purse would probably hurt worse than my fists. I took in a big gulping breath.

  Taking on ghosts was so much easier than dealing with a crazy man-hungry woman. Glancing around, I tried to find a place to hide, or at the very least, to turn to. If I could avoid her, I would. I didn't want to have words with her at all. Damn, nowhere to go.

  Brianna was staring right at me. I sensed a weird and worrisome vibe emitting from her gaze. There was no denying it—she knew that I saw her. She was striding straight toward me.

  With a smirk on her face as she finally approached, she said, “Hello, Larue. How are you feeling?"

  She stopped right in front of me, blocking me from moving forward.

  "What do you want, Brianna?” I had to stand my ground. And why did she care how I felt?

  "Don't be so defensive, Larue. I don't want anything from you.” She gave her best attempt at an innocent smile. A secretive smirk spread across her face. “I just wanted to drop by and let you know we're engaged."

  "We're?” I squawked. My jaw must have fallen all the way to the sidewalk.

  "Yes, Callahan and I. Isn't it just wonderful news? He popped the question last night. I was so surprised. I mean, I know we've only known each other for a short time. But when something feels right...” She trailed off.

  I stared at her with a stunned gawk. A wave of nausea-inducing bumps rolled over my hands and up my arms.

  "So, no hard feelings I hope?"

  Was she kidding? No hard feelings? Did she think I was that stupid? A flood of emotions hit me like a semi-truck. All the ill feelings I had for her consumed me. She had somehow had someone try to run over me, sabotaged my sign to hit me and sent me poisonous candy. Although she didn't know for sure I suspected her, she had to have had some idea that I did. I was stunned at her nerve to even approach me with that news. She just wanted to rub it in, like pouring salt into my open wounds.

  Brianna held out her left hand and dangled her ring finger inches from my face. The big diamond was sparkling in my eyes, taunting me with its glint. Seeing that ring and the smirk on her face truly knocked the wind out of me. I was speechless.

  My heart pounded like a jackhammer as I stared at her. I wanted to run past her without saying a word but my pride wouldn't let me. The wretched woman, who had probably tried to harm me—I was almost sure of that fact—was standing inches away from me flaunting her new diamond. Was it not enough to know she got everything she ever wanted?

  She felt she must taunt me with her huge engagement ring, and the fact that Callahan had protested his undying love for her in the ultimate way, by asking her to be his wife. In my opinion, that was just bad karma.

  I was so consumed with anger that I was overwhelmed with the feeling I had to get away from her. I couldn't see her face. I didn't know what I might do if I had to look at her for a second longer. As far as I was concerned if I never saw her face again, I'd be happy.

  The cunning look in her eyes, her face, was vile to my mind. As she stood there with her face in front of mine, I honestly expected to hear the theme from the Twilight Zone at any moment. I felt like I was in some bizzaro world. The next thing I knew, she'd be inviting me to her wedding. Either that or I was on some hidden reality show. Yes! Maybe that was it, I was on television. I glanced over my shoulder to try and spot the camera crew. No cameramen. No, it was definitely some weird other dimension I had to be stuck in, with no way out.

  Not wanting to hear any more of her wedding details, like what they would serve at the reception or where they were going on their honeymoon, I breezed past her, marching toward Book Nook as fast as my legs would carry me.

  "No hard feelings, okay, Larue. You can come to the wedding if you'd like. But no funny business when you're there, okay?” Brianna yelled as I hurried away.

  Ugh, she really had some nerve.

  "Bitch,” I mumbled.

  I didn't turn around and respond to her statement. Instead, I hastily unlocked and yanked the door to Book Nook open. I slumped my back heftily against the closed door after I entered. I so needed a margarita night after that. Or possibly something stronger. Too bad it was only eight-thirty in the morning. Feverishly, I pulled my phone from my purse and dialed Mindy's number.

  "You're not going to believe what I'm about to tell you.” I shouted.

  "What this time? I'm not sure there is anything you could say to shock me, at this point. After the poisonous chocolates, I think that was my limit. I'd seen it all, then."

  "Brianna and Callahan are engaged,” I blurted out.

  Nothing. No comment came from the other end of the line. Then finally, Mindy just laughed.

  "That's funny, Larue. You had me there for a minute. You're such a prankster. That's a good joke.” She giggled some more.

  "Mindy, I'm not joking. I'm very serious, as serious as a heart attack. This is not some prank. I wish it were. She showed me her huge ring."

  "Wait a minute. What were you doing talking to her in the first place? I thought you were going to stay away from her? It's not safe to even talk to her.” She huffed.

  "I tried to avoid her, but I just went for a short walk and she popped up out of nowhere. I wanted to get some exercise before work to clear my head and I ran into her. Or she ran into me, rather. I thought she was going to try to fight me or something."

  "Why are you out walking for exercise, and not coming to my class instead? It's much more fun than walking. Walking is boring, if you ask me. Pole fitness works so many muscles. You know how sore you were from class."

  "Focus, Mindy, focus. We are not talking about exercise. We are talking about the most despicable woman we will ever come into contact with in our lifetimes. Ever."

  "Right, right. But do remember my class is much better than walking. And a lot more fun."

  Obviously, she was upset about me not taking her stupid class. I was never going to talk to her about exercise ever again.

  "Okay, finish telling me what happened.” Mindy finally stopped her ranting.

  "So, as I was walking along I spotted her coming my way. I tried to find a place to hide, but no such luck! I was trapped. Seriously, I think she was looking for me."

  "She probably was. I warned you about her.” Mindy grunted.

  "She most likely saw me when I pulled up at work. I think she's stalking me now. Did I mention I thought I was going to have to fight her or something? I'd have to have punched her, because she doesn't have any hair to pull."

  "Well, thankfully you didn't have to fight her. That would have been ugly. She would have clobbered you. Stomped you into the ground. Opened up a can of whoop-ass on you."

  "All right! I get it. Thanks for the vote of confidence."

  "Well, she is much taller than you."

  "I'm strong, though,” I countered.

  "Uh huh,” she mumbled, not sounding convinced.

  "Well, whatever. She flashed her ring in my face and nonchalantly announced that she was engaged. She said he popped the question last night."

  "She's engaged to Callahan?” Mindy asked for confirmation.

  "Of course, why else would I be talking about it? Why would we be talking about this if she wasn't engaged to Callahan? I told you when you answered. You're not listening to me,” I said exasperated.

  "I'm listening to you. I was just making sure I heard you correctly. What did the ring look like anyway? Was it big?"

  "No, it wasn't big. It was huge. It was ginormous. The biggest ring I've ever seen up close. It almost blinded me. Oh, and it was a princess cut."

  "I don't like that cut. Was it real?"

  "I'm pretty sure it
was. I mean I didn't take out my jeweler's loupe or anything."

  "Smart ass.” She laughed.

  "So anyway, I will definitely need margaritas tonight. Tell me you don't have another date?"

  "I don't have a date, but I do have a class. Do you want to come?"

  "No way.” I shook my head vigorously, even though she couldn't see me.

  "Please. I need bodies to fill the classes,” she pleaded.

  So that was what she was up to. She was using my body.

  "I'll happily drink margaritas afterward, and I'll make my delicious burritos that you love so much to go with them."

  I sighed. I did love her burritos. “All right. I'll do it. And by the way, I doubt my one body is going to make a difference in class. If anything, it will hurt your cause. And this is not going to be a habit."

  "No, of course not."

  "I'm not doing this all the time."

  "No. I'll see you tonight."

  "See ya.” I clicked off my phone and tossed it in my purse with a deep groan. Time for me to get to work and hide all the wedding books in the store.

  The gang was huddled around the center aisle, gazing at me with pitying looks. How sad was I? Ghosts felt sorry for me.

  "I can see you're upset about the wedding.” Mr. Haynes said.

  "Yes, of course I'm upset. I don't think it's right. He doesn't even know her. Now, all of a sudden, they're getting married? Living happily ever after."

  "I know it's hard for you to accept. We're here for you, though. If you need a shoulder to cry on.” Mr. Haynes looked around at the others to confirm the sentiment. Everyone nodded, except for Mrs. Williams of course.

  "Thanks guys, that means a lot to me. And ladies.” I nodded at Vivian. “Mr. Haynes, I've been meaning to ask you something for some time now."

  "Yes,” he said, moving closer to me.

  "Why are you still here? You don't want to stick around with me. I'm boring and have a whole lot of drama in my life."

  Mrs. Williams snorted. “You can say that again."

  I shot her a nasty glare.

  "I'm just alternating my time between you and the Mrs. When the time is right, I'll be gone. I was friends with your grandparents, you know. I knew they always worried about you."