Watch Over My Child: Book Three in the Michal's Destiny Series

by Roberta Kagan

  “You don’t want to leave her at home. It’s rather rude, don’t you think?” he’d say, and Jane would nod, and then she’d plead with Gilde to join them.

  Jane awoke early one morning sneezing and very congested.

  “I’m going to stay in bed today, Gilde,” Jane said. “I feel terrible.”

  “Let me make you some tea before I leave for school.”

  “Would you mind?”

  “Not at all.”

  When school was out, Gilde tried going an alternate route to avoid Thomas, but he found her. Just as she was going up the walkway to the house, Thomas came up the street and rushed up to walk beside her.

  “Want some company?”

  “I don’t think it’s a good idea,” Gilde said. “Besides, I am home already. So, I’m going to go inside. Jane isn’t feeling well. I want to see how she’s doing.”

  “Gilde, what can I do to make you see that I really like you?”

  “Nothing … nothing at all. There is nothing you can do so stop, please stop.”

  “Why don’t you like me?”

  “Because Jane likes you and I love Jane.”

  “Jane and I are just friends.”

  “Is that what you really believe?” Gilde stopped dead in her tracks and turned around to look right in his eyes. “Don’t you see how she looks at you?”

  “I’ve never given her any reason to believe that I feel any differently.”

  “You’ve kissed her.”

  “Just a quick peck goodnight,” he said, and his voice became hoarse. “Not the way I want to kiss you….”

  “Don’t…” Gilde said. But Thomas didn’t listen. He took her into his arms and pulled her close to him. She dropped her books. Then he kissed her with such passion that she felt her knees buckle. Her heart was racing. Thomas smelled like good cologne. She wondered if the fragrance had rubbed off on her coat. Would Jane smell it?

  “I have to go,” Gilde said, but her hands were trembling so badly that she could not pick up her books. She tried to put them together but dropped them again. Gilde was almost in tears.

  “Here, let me help you.” Thomas bent down and began to gather her books. The papers in her notebook had scattered on the ground and the wind was carrying them away.

  “I need those papers,” Gilde said weakly, unable to chase them. She felt as if she was frozen to the spot where she stood. Gilde wanted to run away. Instead she watched as Thomas collected her notes and brought them back in a pile. He handed them to her.

  “Thank you. I have to go,” she said.

  “Gilde, I felt something when I kissed you. Something special, magical, one of those once in a lifetime things. I know you felt it too.”

  She whirled around at him, holding her schoolwork and books in shaky hands. “It doesn’t matter what you feel or what you think I feel. Nothing will ever happen between us, Thomas. I told you that and I meant it.”

  “Gilde? Let’s talk to Jane. Let’s tell her how we feel.”

  “I feel nothing for you. And don’t ever try to kiss me again.” She ran up to the door of the house and fumbled with the key. Then she closed the door behind her. It was hard to catch her breath. But at least she’d gotten away, away from those all-encompassing feelings that Thomas brought on, that confused the hell out of her and, away from his melting blue eyes to the safety of her surrogate family and the love of her best friend.

  CHAPTER 10

  Damn him. Gilde thought about Thomas. He had spoken words that planted a seed in her mind and that seed had begun to grow. She thought about him more often than she wanted to. In fact, the harder she tried to push thoughts of Thomas out of her mind, the more vivid the thoughts became.

  Thomas began to come by the house even more often than he had before. When he looked at Gilde she saw the longing in his eyes and hoped that Jane would not see it. When Thomas spoke to Gilde she heard his voice grow softer. The change was subtle, but distinctive enough for her to hear it and for it to stir something inside of her. These feelings she felt growing from a tiny reed into a massive oak tree for Thomas were emotions that must be squashed! He must never know that she thought about him at night, or that she felt warm all over when he said her name.

  CHAPTER 11

  1939

  Shaul was having a terrible time adjusting to life in Britain. He wasn’t in school, he worked with an old man and had no contact with anyone his own age. The red rash that he’d had the previous winter had returned. Still, even as miserable as he was, he tried to continue working with the milkman. In the morning, Shaul drove the truck out to the farm and picked up the crates of bottles then he picked up his boss who did the driving and they began to make their deliveries. In February the milkman Shaul worked for was given a new route in another part of town. Here the homes were larger with more lawn space. It was by far a more affluent neighborhood than the inner city where they had been working, but because the homes were farther apart the delivery work was more difficult. Since his boss was only the driver, Shaul had to go to the door, take the order, return to the truck, fill the order, and then return to the house with the delivery. The walkways from the house to the street were longer, and because of this, servicing the same amount of customers took more hours than it had in the past.

  A light snow was falling and dusting the street like a sprinkling of powder one afternoon as Shaul and his boss were completing their daily rounds. They had just finished loading several crates of empty bottles when Shaul looked up and saw a girl walking with a bunch of other girls. She had long dark hair that hung down her back in a single braid. The girls wore plaid skirts, thick dark tights and heavy jackets. Shaul gazed at the brunette and thought she was the prettiest girl he’d ever seen. Then as he stood in the shadows still watching he recognized a familiar face amongst the group. It was Gilde. She was a year older, her clothing was different, but he was positive that it was Gilde. He’d missed her, he’d missed Elias too. But Shaul felt too clumsy and awkward to go over and say hello while Gilde was with her friends, especially while she was with the brunette who he thought was so striking. So, he waited and watched to see where the girls went. From behind the milk truck he saw Gilde and the beautiful girl with the dark braid wave goodbye to the rest and head up the walkway to the door of a two-story house.

  Shaul didn’t want the girls to see him. If Gilde had been alone he would have gone up and said hello. But as it was, she was with the girl who looked like a goddess and Shaul was far too intimidated.

  Then from across the street, Shaul heard a male voice. “Gilde, Jane, wait up….”

  Jane… Shaul heard her name. Now he knew that her name was Jane.

  “Thomas,” the girl called Jane said.

  A handsome, dark-haired boy ran across the street. Shaul could not hear what they were saying, but he could see both girls smiling at the boy they called Thomas. He wondered what it would feel like to be that handsome boy. What would it be like to have two pretty girls giving him all of their attention? It was cold outside, but none of them seemed to notice. They were giggling and Shaul suddenly wished he had friends his own age. It had been a long time since he’d seen Elias or Gilde and he missed being a part of a group of friends. Well, at least now he knew where Gilde lived. When she was alone without Jane, Shaul would talk to her. He wondered if she had been in contact with Elias. Was it possible to miss life in an orphanage? It was just that when he’d lived in the orphanage, he’d had friends, people who accepted him as he was, regardless of his clumsy body and awkward social skills.

  He kept watching Gilde with her friends. She was smiling, and she was even prettier than he remembered. Somehow she’d adjusted. He had not. In fact, he’d decided that he hated everything about England until his eyes lit upon the girl called Jane with the long dark braid.

  CHAPTER 12

  Shaul Spring of 1939 London

  Winter, which was always difficult for Shaul, had finally passed. And although spring brought with her a great deal of rai
n, for Shaul it was more tolerable. The angry red rash called chilblains had begun to disappear, and he finally had some relief from the terrible itching.

  Thoughts of Gilde’s friend, the girl named Jane, kept Shaul from sheer madness. It was his guilty pleasure to create a fantasy world in his mind, a world in which he was a part of the group of young people he had seen with Gilde. He was Jane’s boyfriend, and he was handsome.

  Every day when he was on his route delivering milk in the area where he saw Gilde and Jane he would search for them. Sometimes he saw them together, but he never went up to speak to Gilde. He kept promising himself that the next time he saw them he would approach, but he never did. He just couldn’t bring himself to talk to Jane, so he kept hoping to find Gilde alone. Shaul knew Gilde well enough to speak to her, but so far every time he’d seen her she was with the girl of his dreams.

  In his mind, Shaul began to expand on his fantasy life. It was a complete story that began with his first meeting with Jane. He daydreamed that she was taken with him, that she found him irresistible. In fact, in his vision, she pursued him. She asked him to her house for dinner and introduced him to her family as her boyfriend. They took long walks and talked about everything. He imagined the two of them taking a train out to Brighton to spend a day on the beach. Instead of the flabby, pale boy that he was, in his fantasy, Shaul was more like Elias. He smiled as in his mind’s eye he saw his complexion cleared of rashes and breakouts, tan from the sun, his body lean and muscular. He lay on a towel on the sand beside Jane, the goddess of his heart. This life inside of Shaul’s head was not reserved for any special time. He began to imagine Jane’s presence with him all day as he made his deliveries. At night after he made sure that the old woman had eaten something and was safe in her bed, Shaul would go off to his own small area in the house to dream of Jane. No woman had ever touched him intimately nor had he ever touched a woman. However, his imagination was powerful, creating lovemaking so real that he became immersed in it. When he passed Jane’s house on his route, he watched for her. If she happened to be outside, his heart raced wildly. But, he still could not find the courage to speak to her.

  CHAPTER 13

  Gilde Fall of 1939 London

  Each night the women in the Kendall family, including Gilde, prepared the evening meal together. Mrs. Kendall insisted that dinner be a special family time. Once the food was prepared, they each carried serving plates to the table.

  George took his place at the head of the table and then he reached over to the stand behind him and turned on the radio to the BBC.

  “George, not at dinner, please,” Mrs. Kendall complained.

  “Just for a few moments,” George Kendall said. “I heard something today and I want to see if it’s true.”

  “George.” Rosemary shook her head. “Alright but only until all of the food is out and we all sit down, then I want you to say grace and we will dine like a proper family.”

  “Very well.” George nodded. He knew his wife felt that mealtime should be a period of pleasant conversation of each member sharing their daily activities. Most days he complied, but not tonight. Tonight was different. George was concerned about the state of the world. There had been suspicion that Hitler was going to invade Poland. That day while he was at work George had heard rumors that the Nazi invasion of Poland had begun, and he had to know if the gossip was true. Although his wife was oblivious to the threat to Britain, George was not. He paid attention to the news and world affairs. He could see how ruthless Hitler was. George felt it was only a matter of time before his beloved country was in danger. Rosemary had always been sheltered.That, George decided, was his own fault. He had always made light of things so that she wouldn’t worry. And even when they’d adopted Gilde and Rosemary was so horrified by the things that were happening in Germany, George had assured his wife that her home in Britain was perfectly safe. Rosemary had accepted George’s comforting words without question. But, although he reassured his wife, George was not so sure that Britain was safe at all. Hitler, the lunatic in Germany, was on a quest to conquer the world, and George was quite positive that it was only a matter of time before Britain was part of that sinister plan.

  George and Gilde were in the dining room when the announcer on the radio said that Germany was bombing Poland.

  They looked at each other, eyes wide, both of them silent.

  It was true then. George needn’t listen anymore. He’d heard the news.

  Jane and her mother were busy talking in the kitchen. Gilde knew she should go back in and help them bring out the rest of the plates, but she felt a shiver go up the back of her neck. When she’d first left Germany, Gilde had been convinced that the Nazi problem would be over quickly and she would be free to go home within a few months. But of course, when she’d left Germany, she was just a child and she’d been easily convinced. Now, even though she was still just a child, she could see things more clearly. It had been a year since she’d arrived in Britain, and things looked bleaker than they did before she left. Instead of being forced out of power by some miracle, Hitler was growing stronger. The mail between Germany and Britain was slow, and it had been several weeks since she’d heard anything from Alina. The last letter she’d received said that Alina had not heard from their parents. It also said that Alina was planning to move, but it did not say where, just that she was leaving Berlin. The letter also told Gilde that Lotti and Lev were alright. But arrests of Jews without reason continued and were growing in number. Then Alina said that she might not be able to send any more letters for a while. She gave no explanation. Gilde read that part over twice to be sure she’d read it correctly. The very idea of not hearing from her sister sent shock waves through Gilde. She longed to talk to anyone from her family, even Lev or Lotti, but this silence was maddening. She’d sent a letter to Lotti but had received no answer. Now, she wondered if the letter had ever found its way into Lotti’s hands. It seemed as if the world had turned upside down and fallen into a whirlpool of chaos. And now with Germany invading Poland, Gilde was even more distressed. Did this have something to do with why Alina would not be writing anymore? Was Alina in danger? Gilde was pretty sure she remembered hearing Lev and Lotti talking when she was still at home. They’d said that Hitler had promised never to invade Poland. Was her memory correct? Did it matter? Hitler was a madman. No one could know what he might do next. Intellectually Gilde knew that she should be glad to be out of Germany. After all, she was safe, one of the lucky ones. She was living in a lovely home with a wonderful family, and she was grateful for all the Kendalls did for her every day, but her heart still missed her parents, her sister, and her friends. Gilde missed her life, the life she’d known before Adolf Hitler came into power and shattered everything. It was true, Jane had become her best friend and she loved Jane. With Jane’s help she’d adjusted and made so many friends, but sometimes she still felt so alone and lost. She felt like a derailed train car going off a cliff. If only she had some way of finding out what had happened to her loved ones. If only she could be sure they were safe. Then maybe she could find some inner peace.

  Jane and her mother were still in the kitchen. Gilde heard water running. Then a spoon clanging against a pan. The house smelled of baking. It was a delicious smell of safety and home and usually it soothed Gilde. Not tonight. The terrible news she’d just heard was ringing in her head. But neither Jane nor her mother had heard the news on the BBC. They were too busy in the kitchen to pay attention. As Jane and her mother carried the sparkling glasses and pitcher of water to the table, George Kendall, trying to act as if everything was quite normal, reached back and quietly turned off the radio. A look of knowing passed between him and Gilde. Then everyone took their places at the dinner table. Rosemary smiled at her husband. He returned the smile and patted her hand. She was such a good wife, a kind and generous woman, and he was glad she was ignorant of what he’d just heard. At least for now she would be spared the anxiety he felt.

  “Shall we begin,
George?” Rosemary asked.

  George nodded. “Yes, dear. Dinner looks scrumptious,” he said, and then reached out to join hands with the family. They all joined hands around the table and George began to say grace. When he finished, the family ate. Usually George enjoyed hefty portions, but tonight he could hardly eat.

  “Are you feeling alright, George?” Rosemary asked.

  “Yes, I had a big lunch at work today.”

  Gilde didn’t mention what she’d heard on the radio and Mr. Kendall didn’t say a word about it either. They both seemed to know that it was best that Jane and her mother be kept in the dark about this new development in the trail of Nazi devastation. Jane was too busy getting ready for the school year to begin to pay any attention to the news. She was trying on clothes to see what still fit and what didn’t. Rosemary was helping Jane and Gilde sort through their things, so she too did not leave the house or see the news. There were clothes to be taken in, and hems to be let down. So much to do. And that was why the news came as quite a shock to Rosemary and Jane when George turned on the radio two days later to learn that France and Britain had declared war on Germany. Although George loved to shelter the women in his life, to protect them from the harsh realities outside their home, this was one terrible truth that he could not keep from them. The world as they knew it was in flames exploding around them. Britain was at war.

  CHAPTER 14

  Thomas came to the house to see the girls the same night that war was declared. They sat outside on lawn chairs in the Kendalls’ well-manicured yard. It was September and the weeping willow tree had begun to shed her leaves. The faint sound of a child’s laughter came from one of the other yards on the block. And the smell of something savory cooking wafted through the air. Thomas’s face was flushed. It was easy to see that he was excited by the prospect of war and heroism. Gilde was angry with herself because although she fought the attraction, his passion made him even more appealing to her.