Brody (Default Distraction Book 1)

by A. S. Roberts

  ‘Oh, fuck!’

  ‘Honestly?’ she questioned, her head reappearing to smile her question at me.

  ‘Look we’re not all domestic Gods, ya know. Paper’s better to eat off, anyway.’

  She passed me a stack of sandwiches held in a piece of the paper.

  ‘I think you’ve got that a little wrong, that’s supposed to be newspaper, when you eat fish and chips.’

  ‘It’s guaranteed, Amy, there is no fucking fish in that hamper.’

  ‘Wrong again!’ She’d found a bag of my favourite Goldfish and was waving them around in front of my face.

  ‘I know you find it hard to believe, beautiful, but although they’re called Goldfish, they’re really just cheese crackers.’ I smiled the smile I knew all women seemed to love, the one that pulled slightly higher up one side of my face and showed off my one and only dimple.

  My mouth suddenly stung as, with a smile, she threw the bag straight at my face and it caught me in my sarcastic mouth.

  ‘Ooops, sorry.’ Her hand came to her mouth and her eyes widened, but I saw the smirk on her face.

  ‘Fuck.’ My fingers came up to my lip and I pulled them away to see a small amount of blood on my them. I turned my hand so she could see the evidence on my fingers. ‘You will so regret that.’ I dropped my sandwiches unceremoniously to the floor.

  I moved suddenly, sweeping the hamper out of my way with one arm, and grabbed hold of her legs, pulling them and her towards me in one movement. Wrapping one leg over hers I held her in place on her back where she had fallen. She looked at me expectantly, but she couldn’t have been further from the truth. Before she knew what was happening, I’d pulled her fluffy pink socks off her feet and was running my tongue in between her toes.

  ‘OH. MY. GOD… NO, just don’t… THAT’S GROSS!’ she implored.

  Her body convulsed, her hands slapped the floor and her head rolled from side to side. She bucked as she tried to get me off her. I knew her feet were a no-no, from the first time I’d taken off her heels and she’d recoiled as I’d placed a single kiss on her sole.

  ‘Do you give in? Do you wanna say sorry for making me bleed?’ I asked as I pushed my tongue in between her toes one last time, just to watch her cringe.

  ‘YES… I’M SORRY! … JUST STOP!’

  I stopped and with a laugh I sat back into my previous comfortable spot. I let my eyes run up and down the length of her. She was still lay flat on her back with her brown hair all around her. Her eyes were bright and her cheeks were flushed. With her possible bra-less chest rising and falling, trying to recover from my onslaught.

  It was too much, fuck, she was too much.

  I pushed myself forward and using the strength in my arms I began to crawl up the length of her body. I gently bit down through her jeans all the way up her legs, eventually reaching the mound of her pussy. I mouthed around the covered area, sucking and blowing warm air through the thick material, until I could smell her arousal through her jeans. Her sharp intakes of breath, and the unconscious way she lifted her hips for more, were like music to my soul.

  ‘Amy, I’m obsessed with you. I’ve never wanted a woman as much as I constantly want you.’

  I rested my chin gently onto her stomach and looked up and over her body, until finally her head lifted for her face to find mine. Her dark eyes were even bigger than normal and her chest was rising and falling sharply. Her hands came up to hold on to the sides of my face, and she ran her thumbs over my facial stubble.

  ‘Why did you stop? I don’t want you to stop,’ she whispered.

  ‘My first response would be, I’m fucked if I know. I want in that velvet-lined pussy of yours, right this fucking minute. But, I want more than just casual fun with you, Amy. For the first time, I’m willing to let my clusterfuck of a past go and move forward with you. I want to get to know you, beautiful, so I’m once again taking control. I want you to trust me with your life, your soul and more importantly your heart. So, it’s down to you, are ya gonna let me in? Or are you gonna keep running from what we have here?’

  A couple of minutes passed as we just looked at each other, my heart rate increased dramatically while I waited for her answer.

  ‘I want to… I really want to find out what this is between us. I mean, I can’t believe the way you make me feel.’

  ‘Then don’t think about it, just do it. My past would show you that I’m a selfish bastard, but you make me want to be more. I wanna be here for you when you need rescuing, I wanna be the one you turn to for the small and the big things in life, I wanna be the one you trust.’

  ‘I’m just not sure, what I mean is… If I’m honest, I just don’t see where this can go? You asked this morning for me to have a relationship with you. But you’re American.’

  ‘Yep, I am, and now you’re stating the obvious.’ I winked at her trying to put her at ease.

  ‘How can we have anything other than a short-term arrangement? I live here and you’re only visiting for Jack’s wedding, and then you’ll be gone.’

  I felt my forehead crease as I frowned at her, just trying to work out what she was going on about, and then I shook my head at her.

  ‘I’m not here for the wedding. I know a friend of mine’s brother-in-law is getting married this weekend, but that’s just a coincidence. I’m here on business and now it seems I’m also here for pleasure.’

  I saw a small smile tease her lips in response to my answer.

  ‘So, you won’t be leaving next week then?’

  ‘No.’

  Her head fell back to the floor and she began to move her body under me in excitement. Making every limb of hers quickly fidget and dance.

  I took in the look of excitement on her face and not being able to resist touching her in some small way, I lifted the bottom of her sweater and kissed the bare flesh of her stomach. ‘What the fuck are ya doing, crazy woman?’

  ‘I’m excited.’ Then she stopped suddenly and her head lifted again to find me. ‘But you’re leaving soon though, right?’

  ‘My business takes me all over the world, so yes I will have to leave sometime, but I would come back because you’re here, and now I’m back in England I know it’s where I’m meant to be. I feel at home here, you feel like home to me.’ I raised my chin off her stomach and began again to move myself up her body, making sure we were as close together as possible. The swell of her breasts rubbed through my T-shirt and momentarily I closed my eyes to steady myself. ‘In fact, beautiful, when I go away, you can come too. Then I’ll always feel like I’m home.’ I was finally face to face with her. I twisted my head and staring straight into her eyes, I began to slowly lower my mouth to hers. All the time I stared into her eyes I was trying to convey just how fucking serious I was about her. Our lips were about to touch and had the smallest fissure between them, when I saw panic come into those dark brown eyes of hers and I stopped dead.

  ‘What’s wrong?’ I whispered to her, feeling my warm breath hit her skin and then return to me.

  ‘I can’t go with you.’ Her head began to shake from side to side and I reluctantly lifted away from her. Her hands began to push at my shoulders to get me to move away from her.

  I saw tears begin to pool in her eyes.

  I moved my hands until they went underneath her and rolled onto my back, taking her with me until she landed on top of my body. I took her in my arms and held her tightly to me.

  ‘Tell me why?’

  Her body began to shake and I strengthened my hold around her, just so she knew I was there for her. I fucking hated women crying and I never knew the right fucking thing to do. It was something my sister had always used. But Amy crying was worse, much fucking worse, because I really cared about her. I wanted this woman, who held so many possibilities for my life in the future, to have everything, and I wanted to be the fucker to give them to her. But her sadness was hers and until she let me the fuck in, I couldn’t help her and it killed me.

  We lay there in front of t
he fire while she cried her heart out. It was as if she had been collecting the pain for years, I felt every tremble and shake of her body. Her tears flowed, soaking straight through my T-shirt to my skin. I held her close and every now and then I kissed the top of her head in reassurance. As her tears and her pain began to subside, I felt her body stiffen and her small hands grip either side of my body as if she was scared I would now let her go.

  ‘Not going anywhere, Amy… cross my heart.’

  ‘Tell me.’ I heard his voice through the broad chest I was lying on.

  I exhaled and a shudder came over me as I tried to breathe properly. I needed to calm myself down enough to talk. I took a few more minutes and a lot of steadying breaths, finally my eyes began to focus. I stared out of the French doors to the lake beyond, using the beauty outside to calm my inner turmoil.

  What must he think of me? I can’t believe I just broke down in front of him.

  ‘I’m sorry, what must you think of me?’ I was worrying with the sides of his T-shirt as I spoke.

  ‘I’m not judging you, Amy, far from it. I’d like to help if I can. Tell me about it?’ His voice was wary, as if he was waiting for me to once again push him away and run.

  I wasn’t sure, could I? Could I explain to him, things that I didn’t really want to admit to myself? Things that I didn’t even vocalise to my cousins and best friend. Could I say how even at my age I was terrified of being left behind? And say how scared I was of losing the woman who had put her life on hold to bring me up, with more love than I had ever imagined existed.

  ‘What a fucking asshat he must have been to let you go. Do you still love him?’ I felt his body go tense underneath me as he spoke.

  I sighed. ‘You’ve got it wrong.’

  ‘Yeah?’

  ‘I’m not crying about a man. I’ve had relationships before, but I’ve always been the one to up and leave them. No one has ever let me go… apart from my parents.’

  His body completely stilled, letting my words wash over him while he thought.

  ‘Fuck, how stupid were they? I’ll never understand what makes a parent in their right fucking mind, choose to walk away from their children… child?’ I heard the anger and hurt in his voice and felt his hands rub my back to offer me comfort.

  ‘And my nan who brought me up in the little shop you found me in, is now dying of vascular dementia, that’s why I can’t go anywhere with you. I would never, ever leave her when she needs me.’

  ‘Amy, believe me, I would never ask you to.’

  ‘Really? You wouldn’t?’

  I felt him shake his head in answer. ‘Nah, we can work around it, I’ll make sure that whenever I can be, I’m here.’

  ‘That’s possible? You’re not just saying it?’ He shook his head again, his stubble rubbed on the top of my head as he did so.

  ‘And I’m so fucking sorry, Amy, it’s the worst fucking thing in life watching someone you love dying. Your nan sounds like a fucking amazing woman. I’d be real honoured to meet her.’

  ‘She’d love to meet you too, in fact meeting you would make her day.’

  ‘Call it our next date then, I know how important she is to you and I know what it’s like to lose people you love.’

  I still hadn’t lifted my head to look at Daniel. Somehow it was just easier this way, being held in his arms with my head lying over the steady rhythm of his heart. He held me like he might lose me and comforted me when he felt I needed the extra support, by rubbing up and down my back with his hands.

  ‘You do?’ I questioned.

  I felt him nod his head. ‘Yeah.’ He huffed with acceptance of what he was bracing himself to tell me. ‘My mom walked out on my dad when I was eight and took my little sister with her, so effectively she left me too. I was used to a loud, passionate home, full of life. When they weren’t arguing, music was very often being played at full volume and they would dance together with me and my sister and then, just like that, my childhood home was silent. My dad died four years after she left from a massive heart attack. That’s what the docs said anyway, although I’m convinced he died from a broken heart.’

  ‘Oh, Daniel… I’m so sorry. What happened to you then? Did you go to live with your mum?’ I was shaking my head with the unfairness of it all.

  ‘She was already dead.’ His voice was trembling, it was so full of emotion. He inhaled deeply underneath me, so he could carry on. ‘I was twelve years old and back in America. It was a place I just about remembered, but it wasn’t fucking home. I was in and out of foster homes, causing as much fucking trouble as I could to everyone around me. I’m not proud of that fucked-up teenager, but my life had turned to shit and the guilt of not being able to keep my family together and safe, weighed heavy inside me. I was spiralling out of control and I wanted to take everyone down to the depths of hell with me.’

  I let go of his T-shirt and pushed my hands as far as they would go underneath his muscular back, just so I could hold him as close to me as possible in the position we were in. ‘You were a child, how could you have kept two people together, who didn’t want to be?’

  ‘I could have tried harder…I should have done fucking more… maybe then they’d all still be here.’

  I couldn’t answer him. I knew what it was like to wonder… if I’d been a better daughter, if I’d tried harder, worked harder, been more perfect. Yes, I knew what it was like to think about the what ifs.

  For a few minutes, we both gazed out of the floor to ceiling, arched windows. The snow had begun to fall once again outside. I knew he was watching it with me, as it swirled and skated over the frozen lake.

  I was lying in a man’s arms that I had only known for a few days, but I had never felt such a strong connection to anyone in my life before. I had told him things that to be honest I hadn’t wanted to admit to anyone, even myself. It was therapeutic. I hoped it was the same for him. I wanted to, at the very least, be able to give him that.

  ‘What happened to that young boy after the foster homes?’

  ‘Military school.’

  ‘Oh…’ I wasn’t certain if that was a good thing or not.

  ‘It eventually did amazing things for me, after I stopped bucking against the fucking system.’

  ‘Thank goodness. It sounds like you needed a break, and now you’re back here.’

  ‘Yep… Friends of mine talked me into coming back and now I’ve found you, I’m convinced it’s the best fucking decision I’ve ever made.’ He momentarily squeezed me tighter to him.

  I smiled into the soft material of his T-shirt, feeling the muscles in my face react to the action. The salt left by the tracks of my tears had dried on my skin and it cracked as a wide grin took over me, reminding me just how far down I had let myself go only a short while ago. I needed to go to the bathroom to sort myself out. I began to move out of his hold.

  ‘You okay?’

  ‘I just need the bathroom.’ His arms relinquished their hold over me and I rolled away from him to stand up.

  I watched as he shifted himself to his former sitting position and offered me a small smile. ‘Go on then, be quick. I’m determined that today you will eat, I’ll get our food ready.’

  When I returned, the atmosphere in the room had lifted. Daniel seemed relaxed as he watched me enter the room, he had placed more large logs onto the fire and it also roared its welcome. Music played softly in the background. Outside it had already started to get dark and I looked at the grandfather clock in the corner of the room as it began to strike out four chimes.

  He followed my gaze.

  ‘I know, the time has gone fast. Come on, let’s eat.’ I looked over at him.

  In the short time I’d been gone, Daniel had moved all the cushions and the blankets off the settees, to make us a warm, cosy area. He had set up our food over by the picturesque windows, so we could sit and watch the last of the light disappear behind the lake as we ate. It was a beautiful, thoughtful and romantic gesture. I walked quickly over to hi
m and took up the place he was offering me, underneath one of his large muscular arms, and pulled in tight to his body.

  For a while we ate in comfortable silence. Then, far off in the background, from my coat pocket, came the sound of my mobile ringing its heart out. I knew I’d need to get to it quickly before it gave up. But knowing it was probably Winter or Lauren and still feeling unhappy with the fact they had abandoned me last night, I let the ring die away as it could only do on my extremely old, antiquated mobile.

  ‘You could have answered it,’ Daniel informed me.

  ‘I know, but my mobile is so unreliable, the call would have died out here anyway.’

  ‘That bad?’ he questioned.

  ‘Yes, like most of my life it needs a complete overhaul. But I’m hoping that this week’s tips from the tearoom will be enough to buy a new one.’

  I watched him mull over what I’d just told him. My precarious life was probably hard for him to understand, as he appeared to have all the trappings of someone who had money.

  ‘Oh, fuck. I’m shit at this.’ His arm released me as he began to stand.

  ‘What’s wrong?’ I asked, immediately worried by his words.

  I looked up at him, immediately comforted by the boyish grin on his face. ‘I forgot the drink, hold on a minute. While I’m getting it, programme your number into my cell.’ He flung me his mobile and I did as I’d been asked. I listened to him laughing at himself as he moved away. I heard the squeak of the hamper lid being opened somewhere behind me, then just as quickly he returned. Unceremoniously, I was moved until I was in the exact same place as before, as tight to him as possible. Once he’d got us comfortable, I passed him back his mobile and looked at the bottle he was holding.

  ‘Elderflower cordial?’

  ‘The one and the same, it’s about the one and only English thing I like.’ He winked at the look on my face.

  ‘Huhhh hmmm.’ I cleared my throat at him and poked him in the ribs, with the tip of my longest nail.