I’d waited and I wasn’t a very patient man, but I’d waited all week hoping she’d come around, giving me the opportunity to explain. By Friday night, I was done waiting and tired of being ignored. She’d done everything to avoid me, short of running away when she’d see me and I was done. I knew my comments hurt her, but she didn’t understand, couldn’t understand, what Julie is like and that I was only trying to protect her.
Her car was in her driveway when I got home, so I quickly took a shower before packing up Braydon and taking him to my parent’s house for a sleepover. He talked the whole way, his words becoming clearer every day, not to mention all the new ones he’d added lately. I’d told my brothers when he was only a baby that he was a genius, they didn’t believe me, but they were obviously wrong.
I dropped him off, only spending a few minutes talking to my parents, returning my dad’s grin before I’d left, having no doubt he knew what I was up to that night. It wasn’t long before I’d parked my truck and was standing on Lanie’s porch ringing the bell. No answer. Her car was in the driveway, but that didn’t mean she wasn’t out, probably with Trey the douche. That guy got under my fucking skin. I felt all around her door frame and checked under her mat until I found her hidden key taped to a flower pot sitting on her porch next to the door. I was going to need to talk to her about her hiding place; that had been too easy to find.
I wandered in, and glanced at Beasley sleeping on the floor near the door. He opened one eye and thumped his tail, but otherwise seemed unconcerned that I walked into her house. I moved into the living room and plopped down on the couch admiring the worn leather look and feel before grabbing the remote and settling in. Beasley moved to lay next me, putting his giant head on my legs, his loud groan while he situated himself made me smile. He was a fucking couch potato. I lifted my hand absently running it through his hair while flicking through channels on the TV.
And then I’d waited.
The night was ending well considering I’d ended up right where I’d wanted to be, albeit not doing what I wanted to be doing in her bed, but I recognizied we needed to talk and clear things up. There was no way I was okay with her believing I’d used her and made her feel the way I obviously had. I can be a dick, but not that big of a dick and never to a woman who only deserves my respect.
My attention was on her, waiting for her to settle in and accept we were doing this. I knew her curiosity got the better of her when her brow creased. “I don’t understand. What do you mean you’ve never talked to a woman?”
I sighed, my hand still lying flat against her hip. “I’ve never had a reason to do this. The women I’ve been involved with didn’t expect me to say much and truthfully I was just as happy if they didn’t either.”
I knew the moment she understood I was basically telling her I’d spent most of my adult life as a player because her eyes widened and a blush rose along her cheeks. “Oh, I get it. So this really is new to you then.”
“Yeah.” I smirked, hoping my next words would make that blush even darker and me so fucking happy when it did. “Consider me a talk virgin.”
The blush was followed by a giggle and her dropping her eyes to land on my chest. A giggle. I can’t remember ever being involved with a woman that blushed, but I know none of them ever fucking giggled.
She slowly lifted her head, her hand playing with the small silver bracelet dangling from her wrist. I lifted my eyes from her wrist, my curiosity getting the better of me. “Why do you do that?”
“Do what?”
I gestured towards her wrist. “Play with that bracelet. You always have it on too.”
Her eyes left mine and glanced around the room. I dragged my hand from her hip up over her shoulder until I could cup her chin and tilt her face back to mine. “I didn’t mean to upset you.”
“I know. I’m not upset, I promise. I’ve just never told anyone before.”
“Do you want to tell me?” I asked, a huge part of me hoping she did.
She dropped her gaze to her bracelet. “I do, but I don’t understand why I do. I’ve never wanted to tell anyone. Not even Paige.”
“We have a weird relationship.” Her eyes shot back to mine when I said that so I clarified. “I mean, I hardly knew you and I told you how I felt responsible for Luke being shot. I’d never told anyone, not even my family, although I knew they guessed it, but I’d never actually said the words. For some reason, it was easier to tell you.”
Her eyes were glassy and I knew it was time to tell her the truth. “Lanie, I have no idea what I’m doing. All I know is when I’m with you I feel amazing, I feel like myself again and when you’re not around, I’m a miserable bastard. You make me feel like all the bad I’ve done recently is forgivable, like you see past all of that and only see the good in me.”
A tear made its way from the corner of her eye and I watched it trail down over her cheek before I brushed it away with my thumb. “I’m so sorry Lanie for what I said to Julie.” I pushed in closer until my forehead brushed against hers. “If you believe nothing else, please believe I didn’t mean those things. I really just want to protect you from her crazy shit. Nothing she does should ever touch you.” I ran my thumb along her cheekbone, watching her eyes still swimming in tears.
Her eyes stared into mine almost as if she was trying to see my sincerity. She smiled shyly. “I believe you Jake, I really do. It was hard to hear those words, but especially from you.”
“Why especially from me?” I wanted her to say it, hell I needed her to say it.
She rolled her eyes, lifting her hand to wipe away the moisture. “Oh come on Jake, you know what you look like.”
“What?”
She gave me a look of annoyance, but continued. “The way you look, you have to know women gravitate towards you. I always knew I wasn’t your type, but I never wanted to hear you say you knew that.”
I reached out, grabbing her hand and wrapped my palm around hers, pulling our hands to lay against my chest. It was now or never. “Lanie, until I met you, I had no idea what my type even was. I knew I liked easy women, easy to get, easy to leave, but then you blushed when I talked to you and I felt about ten fucking feet tall.” I squeezed her hand when she smiled. “And the way you are with my kid, tells me that easy isn’t what I’m looking for anymore.”
“What are you looking for?” She asked, hesitantly.
I grinned when she pulled her bottom lip into her mouth, chewing on the corner. God, she was so fucking cute. “I’ve figured out recently, I like blonds with gorgeous hazel eyes and a smile that makes my heart beat faster. I like someone that blushes and giggles, but also goes head to head with me when I piss her off. Now I know that hair and makeup and tight clothes don’t turn me on, but messy buns, glasses, and fucking elf pajamas make me hard as a rock.”
She laughed at that through a heavy blush. “I can’t believe you saw those ugly pajamas.”
I leaned in close. “Baby, I’d put up with ugly pajama pants any day to see your amazing rack in those tight tank tops.”
“Jake!” She smacked her hand against my bicep. “I can’t believe you said that.”
I shrugged as best I could lying down. “It’s the truth.”
She was so quiet I thought I’d lost her, that my honesty was too much too fast, but I was very wrong.
“I don’t have a family.” She said quietly.
“No one?” I asked, completely taken by surprise.
She shook her head. “No.” It seemed she thought about it then and corrected herself. “Well, except Paige. She’s the closest thing I have to a sister or any family at all.”
“What happened to your family?”
“I don’t know exactly.” She was so quiet, I had to strain to hear her even lying as close as we were. “I was raised by a neighbor of my mother’s.”
“Did you know your mom?”
“No. From what C.C.,” She looked up and explained. “That’s the name of the woman who raised me. Anyway, she to
ld me when I was old enough to understand that she was at the hospital with my mother when I was born. She said my mom wasn’t ready to be a mom so she signed the birth certificate and custody papers, and when I was discharged she handed me to C.C. and left. C.C. said mom didn’t even name me, C.C. did and she thought it would be a nice tribute to my mom if I had her name.”
“Left the hospital?” I asked when she stopped.
She smiled sadly. “Left the state. She just left. She cleaned out her apartment and took off. I’ve never heard from her or even seen her.”
Who the fuck does that? I couldn’t imagine walking away from Braydon. It took me a moment to control the anger rising on her behalf, but when I did, a thought occurred to me. “What about your dad?”
She shook her head. “I never met him either. C.C. said he never wanted me, never even stuck around until I was born. Heck, she wasn’t even sure of his name and my mom didn’t put it on the birth certificate.”
I looked down at the bracelet on her wrist. “Was that your mom’s?”
She sighed. “Yeah, C.C. said my dad gave it to her and that while things were good between them, she wore it all the time. Then she stopped wearing it and C.C. didn’t see it again until the landlord found it left in the apartment and brought it to C.C. thinking she may want it. I guess he knew they’d been friends. Anyway, she gave it to me when I turned sixteen and I’ve been wearing it ever since.” Tears filled her eyes and she sniffed. I wrapped my arm around her neck and pulled her body tight up against mine. “It’s silly, but it’s all I have of them. Even though I know neither of them even wanted me, I can’t seem to take it off.”
“That’s not silly Lanie. It says a lot about who you are.” She nodded, but didn’t meet my eyes. “Where’s C.C. now?”
I reached up and wiped her tears when she sniffed. “She died when I was nineteen.”
I closed my eyes. Damn it, she really had lost every one. I felt her hand brush against my cheek and I opened my eyes. “It’s okay, we weren’t close. She made sure I had everything I needed, but she never hugged me or did mom things. I honestly think she only raised me because she was friends with my mom, although she told me once that she was raised in the foster care system and then she got really quiet. I guessed something bad happened to her, so I’ve always been grateful to her for keeping me out of the system.”
That did not make me feel better, but then something else occurred to me. “Is that why you don’t use your full name?”
She nodded. “Yeah. I don’t really like that I have the same name as a woman who couldn’t even take a minute and give me a name herself.”
“Lanie…” Even I heard the pain in my voice for her.
She reached up again and laid her palm against my cheek. “Hey, don’t feel bad for me. I was alone for a long time, all except for Paige, but now I’m not alone anymore. I feel like maybe my whole life was leading me to this moment.”
I pulled her in tight against me, lost for words. I couldn’t imagine a life like that, without my family, my brothers, all the childhood memories. She snuggled into me and I felt her warm breath against my neck. Neither of us said anything more, just held on to each other, but for very different reasons. She was quickly becoming something I never wanted to give up, so I held her until I felt her breathing even out in sleep and then finally allowed myself to relax against her, finding sleep for myself.
CHAPTER TWENTY-FIVE
LANIE
I slowly came out of a deep sleep, my back pressed up against something hard and Beasley’s hot breath in my face. I smiled when I saw his pink tongue lolling from the side of his mouth, his brown eyes intent on my face.
“Do you need to go out?” I said, my voice husky with sleep.
He answered me by heading out the bedroom door into the hallway. I sighed and rolled to my back, Jake’s arm that was lying across my belly, rolling with me. I took a moment to appreciate his features in sleep, even noticing he had a grin playing around his lips, but it was obvious by his breathing that he was still fast asleep. I gently moved his arm and pulled myself from bed, contemplating how I’d ended up in bed with Jake twice now when I only met him a short time ago.
He groaned and rolled onto his back, but stayed asleep so I tiptoed out of the room and straight to the side door where Beasley sat waiting. I let him out to roam the yard, his favorite time being before the sun fully made an appearance in the sky and the cool still lingered in the air. It was fall, but for a dog like Beasley it was still hot during the day.
I made myself a cup of coffee and decided to take a shower while Jake still slept. I quietly got clothes from my bedroom before making my way to the bathroom. I turned the water on to heat while I undressed and brushed my teeth, reminding myself it was probably time to get a new hot water tank if the length of time it took to get hot was any indication that it wasn’t working too great. Stepping under the spray, I smiled, relieved I didn’t feel any remorse sharing some of my past with Jake. Most of it, really, and as I talked last night I was afraid I may regret it in the light of day, but I don’t. He was right when he said we have a strange relationship. When I first met him, I could barely speak to him or his brothers for that matter, but it didn’t take long before they plowed through my shyness and insecurities. That had never happened with anyone before. Not even Trey. I frowned, ashamed that I started something with him and had feelings for Jake even though at the time I hadn’t admitted them. Not even to myself. He was a nice guy and it hurt me that I hurt him. I couldn’t even blame him for being a jerk in the end, I deserved that.
I angled my body, letting the water run through my hair before grabbing the shampoo, lathering up and then turning back to rinse it out. I cursed when shampoo rolled into my eye and blindly reached out for my washcloth hanging off a shelf towards the back.
“Here you go.”
I screamed and swung out, completely freaked out to hear a man’s voice in my shower. My hand struck the hard bone of his jaw while I frantically blinked to clear my eyes.
“Sonofabitch.” He swore loudly, just as my eyes cleared enough to see Jake standing right in front of me holding his hand against his jaw.
“What the hell are you doing?” My voice was still high pitched like my scream had been.
“You punched me!” He yelled.
I narrowed my eyes, he was absolutely not blaming me for my reaction. “You scared me!”
He leaned forward, flexing his jaw. “I wanted to surprise you.”
I threw my hands up in the air. “Well you did.”
We stared at each other until I saw his lips quirk at the sides before blooming into a full smile. His laugh started low, but increased until he was holding his side and leaning against the ivory tiles of the shower wall.
I put my hands on my hips, my heartbeat finally slowing. “What’s so funny?”
He snorted and stood to his full height, which was impressive in my small shower. Actually in my small shower, he seemed huge. It was then that I took a minute to appreciate the wall of muscle before me. The water was sluicing down over his tanned shoulders, so wide and muscled my hands itched to run over them, before rolling to run through the divots across his six pack abs. My eyes didn’t listen when my good sense tried to get them to stop there and so they dropped further to stare at the impressive length currently saluting me.
“You could be a porn star.” I slapped my hand over my mouth right as the word star came out, embarrassed that once again my mouth acted on its own, with no consideration of what my brain was saying, which was don’t talk about his huge dick.
My eyes shot back to his when I realized I was still staring, my face flushed hotly and not from the steamy water.
He ran his hand through his wet hair, pushing it back off his forehead. “Jesus, I’ve never laughed this much and wanted to fuck this much at the same time.”
I couldn’t have stopped the grin if I tried, but it died quickly when he advanced. I stepped back until my back was pressed s
olidly against the cool tiles. “Do you watch porn Lanie?”
One of his hands landed on the tile beside my head, while the other slid along my hip and pressed.
“Wha-at?” I stammered, my body all too aware of his closeness.
His hand squeezed my hip before traveling up the smooth skin of my side, stopping just below my breast. My breath quickened.
His head dropped down until his lips were only inches from mine. “The only way you’d know that is if you’ve watched porn.”
“Umm…” He skimmed his lips across mine and I lost any ability to say more than that.
When his lips pressed harder against mine, I opened my mouth welcoming the invasion of his tongue, well past the point of basic good sense. His large hand, rough from hours of hard work scraped up to cover my breast, his finger running over the hardness of my nipple and I moaned. God, that felt good. If he kept doing that, I think I’d come. He deepened the kiss and I felt his other hand skim down my arm until he reached my hand and pulled it towards his body.
He broke the kiss, but kept his lips on mine. “I need your hands on me.”
He wrapped my hand around his cock and I gulped when I not only felt the size, proving that my eye sight was spot on, but also the hardness of him. He threw his head back when I squeezed and began to move my hand up his length. My eyes ran over his body strung so tight, his eyes closed, breathing hard and I felt a sense of power I’d never felt with any man. The fact that I could make this man, the man that existed in my dreams for so long, pant with only my hand around him made me feel confident. More confident than I’d ever felt in my life. I reached up and wrapped my other hand around the back of his neck and pulled his head down, his heated eyes meeting mine for only the barest of moments before I slammed our mouths together.
Then it was on.
We ate at each other, our hands everywhere, touching, until we were both breathing hard. His hand ran down over my stomach and cupped me without any hesitation before running a finger through my folds. I squirmed, wanting, no, needing him to do more than that. I was close to exploding with only the promise of his fingers, I didn’t dare try to imagine what I’d do with his cock.
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