Run the Risk

by Allison van Diepen

  “Yeah.” Alex glanced toward the window. There was stuff he didn’t want to say. No surprise there. I would get the whole story, but now wasn’t the time to demand details.

  “Just tell me one thing for now.”

  He looked at me from below droopy lids.

  “Are you going back to the Locos?”

  “No,” he said fiercely. “They almost got me killed. If Mateo hadn’t been there, I’d have been . . . fucked.”

  I believed him. Whatever had gone down last night had changed his view of the Locos. Maybe this was what he needed to wake him up.

  “Alex?” A gravelly voice called from the doorway.

  Dad hurried into the room. He bent over the bed. “Grace said you were hurt.”

  Alex’s lower lip jutted. I didn’t know if he wanted to give attitude or cry. “Hey, Dad,” he said, and reached out for a hug.

  Dad drove us home in his girlfriend’s Ford Taurus—he’d borrowed it to get here as soon as possible. Maybe I should feel bad for making that panicked call on the way to the hospital and telling him to come home right away. Alex wasn’t exactly at death’s door.

  But I wasn’t sorry. Dad needed to be here.

  Alex slept the day away. The doctor had told me to wake him every two hours to make sure he was okay. I’d ask him a couple of questions, like what his name was and how old he was. He’d curse under his breath, answer the dumb questions, and wave me away.

  Dad went to bed too. He’d driven nine hours straight without stopping.

  I spent the day pacing the house and making chili, since I didn’t know what else to do.

  Around five p.m., Dad woke up and shuffled downstairs, saying that the smell of the chili had woken him. I served him a bowl along with some buttered bread.

  Dad looked better than usual these days. I could tell his girlfriend, Carol Ann, had been making him over. The clothes were new: a soft plaid shirt and jeans that actually fit him. His sandy-colored hair was cut neatly, and his brows, ear, and nose hair had all been trimmed. Instead of the usual stubble, he was clean-shaven. He looked ten years younger.

  After shoveling in a few bites and drinking some water, he asked, “What happened to him last night?”

  “He was hanging around with a gang, and they got into a fight with a rival gang. He promised me he’s not going back to them.”

  Dad nodded, having another spoonful of chili. “What gang was he in?”

  “They’re called the Locos.”

  “Stupid name.” He tore his bread in half. “Is he going to school?”

  “He’s been going this past week, but before that, he was skipping a lot.”

  “I’ll talk to him.”

  “You have to be careful,” I said. “He’s sensitive right now. Just don’t set him off. Let him recover first.”

  “Don’t worry.”

  I almost laughed. I shouldn’t worry?

  “Somebody has to.”

  He kept eating as if I hadn’t said it. Dad had selective hearing. He didn’t like confrontation.

  “How long are you staying?” I asked, ready for the worst. Now that he knew Alex was going to be okay, would he leave tonight?

  “I’ll stay the week.”

  “The week?” I couldn’t hide my surprise.

  He nodded. “I told Steve I couldn’t do the second load, family emergency. I’ll regrout the bathroom. Tiles coming loose. Do a few other things.”

  You’re here to fix the house? Dad never sat still when he was home. He was always “tinkering” as Mom used to call it. Always something to fix, something to do. I had no idea how he made his living as a long-haul trucker when the guy couldn’t sit still at home.

  “I’m glad you’re staying.”

  His gaze flickered up, as if to check if I meant it, then he went back to eating.

  The upside of Alex’s head injury was that he had no fight left. For the next few days, his world was his bed, the kitchen, and the living-room couch. He moved around heavily, like he was dragging the weight of the world with him.

  His phone was off, sitting on his dresser. It didn’t move. He hadn’t once used the computer.

  He was cutting the gang off. That must be it.

  I called Yolanda to let her know I wouldn’t be coming in this week. I explained what happened to Alex and told her that I wanted to keep an eye on him and spend some time with Dad. She was totally supportive.

  “One more thing,” I said. “Maybe you could take Sofia aside and tell her I’ll miss her.”

  “Of course.”

  My heart felt heavy. I hoped Sofia wouldn’t feel abandoned.

  This was what Mateo had been talking about, I realized—the empathy, which was both a good and bad thing. I wondered if he ever had the same problem. As a paramedic in training, he’d probably seen some awful things, and would see even more on the job. How did he deal with it? He must have a way, or he wouldn’t have chosen that career.

  Thursday night, I went back to work at the theater. It was good knowing Dad was at home. I knew Alex was feeling down, and I didn’t want him to be alone.

  When I got to work, I was hoping to dodge Luke. If he had any sense, he’d avoid me for a while. It would undoubtedly be superawkward. Unfortunately, the second he saw me at the booth, he said he wanted to talk in his office.

  Shit.

  I walked in, my hands twisting together. “Hey.”

  “Hey, Grace.” He was sitting behind his desk, his arms folded across his chest. I couldn’t help flashing back to Saturday night when he’d kissed me. What had I been thinking?

  I wished I could put it down to the alcohol, but it wouldn’t be true. I’d been feeling self-destructive. I’d been horny as hell and wanted to punish Mateo.

  “Is your brother doing okay?”

  I let out a breath, relieved. He just wanted to know about Alex. “He’s all right. Still dizzy at times, but getting better.”

  “You ran off in a hurry Saturday night. We were all worried about you.”

  “It was scary.”

  Luke tapped his chin thoughtfully. “I hate to ask this, but is your brother in a gang?”

  “He was planning on joining the Locos, but he’s changed his mind. I don’t know what happened but . . . it looks like he’s done with them.”

  Luke nodded. “I hope you’re right. When I was his age, God, I was in the thick of it. Fights, drug dealing, all the shit you can imagine. It took me a long time to claw my way out.” His mouth twisted. “My best friend and I were doing a major deal one night. We had a hundred Gs worth of dope on us. Then the cops showed up. I got away. He didn’t.”

  “What happened to your friend?”

  “He got fifteen years.”

  “That’s awful.”

  “Yeah. I was just as guilty as him, but he never gave me up.” He stared off for a minute, then blinked back into the moment. “Anyway, good thing your brother has you looking out for him.”

  “Thanks. My dad’s in town, so that helps.”

  “Good to hear.”

  I was about to make my exit when he said my name. Uh-oh. I turned around.

  He cleared his throat. “Things got a bit, um, out of hand Saturday night, don’t you think?”

  I could feel my cheeks burning. I nodded.

  “I probably shouldn’t have, um, made that move. I thought . . .” Luke was actually blushing. “I just want to say it won’t happen again. I’m sorry.”

  It was nice of Luke to take the blame, but we’d both messed up. “There’s no need to be sorry. It was both of us. But yeah, it’s definitely not a good idea. So, uh, thank you.”

  He nodded, and I booked it out of his office. I went to the bathroom to let the color drain from my cheeks. That was so awkward. At the same time, kudos to Luke for owning it and apologizing. I respected that.

  Back at the booth, Feenix and I sold a few pretzels, chatting in between customers. She’d texted me every day asking for updates on Alex and on how I was holding up. She’d
been there for me when I needed her, 100 percent.

  “Tell me if I’m out of line, but I’ve been dying to ask you,” Feenix whispered. “Did you and Luke hook up?”

  My face turned red. Oh my God, was that a rumor going around? Did everyone think I’d just gone into his office for an illicit kiss?

  “Why would you think that?”

  “Kenny said he saw you duck out of Luke’s bedroom.”

  Seriously? Did I need this? No.

  “Did he tell anyone?”

  “Only me. So it’s true?”

  “We kissed. It was a mistake. That’s all.”

  She nodded. “Good choice.”

  “I know. He’s my freaking boss.”

  “Yeah, definitely not a good power dynamic. But the main problem’s that he’s in love with himself. He can’t pass anything with a reflection without checking himself out. Anyone who gets with Luke won’t just be competing against other girls—they’ll be competing with his ego.”

  “You called it,” I said.

  “I don’t mean to hurt your feelings, but even though he started the night with you, he ended it with someone else.”

  “Oh yeah?” I felt no disappointment. Nothing except a faint amusement. “Did he? Anybody I know?”

  “One of the girls who works at Caliente’s.”

  “Well, I’m glad he had a better night than I did.”

  Mateo had been right about Luke. He was bad news for a girl who wanted something more. Something real.

  A girl like me.

  Scanning the theater for Mateo, I spotted him near the glass doors. I remembered putting my arms around him in the hospital room. How could I ever repay him for helping Alex? I didn’t want to think of what might’ve happened if he hadn’t been there.

  Mateo came up later for a pretzel, the moment Feenix went on break.

  “How’s it going?” he asked.

  “Good. Tonight’s pretzel is on me. It’s the least I can do, considering what you did for Alex. I’ll give you the freshest, fluffiest one.”

  When he smiled, a knot formed in my stomach. I had the sudden urge to confess that I’d made out with Luke, but that it hadn’t meant anything.

  I should never have thought Mateo didn’t care. He cared enough to put his life on the line for Alex, didn’t he? Even though he was gun-shy about having a relationship with me, I should never have written him off.

  I didn’t tell him that, though. I just handed him the pretzel and a Sprite, using my own money in the cash register.

  “Thanks.” He took a bite of the pretzel, chewed for a few seconds. “I’ll drive you home later.”

  “You don’t have to.”

  His eyes didn’t leave mine. “I want to.”

  “Okay, sure. My dad’s still in town . . .”

  “I don’t have to come in.”

  “All right. Well, thanks.”

  I was oddly nervous for the rest of the night. With Alex recovering and staying away from the Locos, did Mateo have any reason to hang out with us anymore? Once Dad left, would Mateo start coming over again?

  In the car an hour later, Mateo said, “So Alex is doing all right?”

  “I think so. I mean, he seems a little depressed. But he hasn’t been using his phone or the computer, so he can’t be contacting any of the Locos. He’s been totally unplugged.”

  “Good.”

  “He’s being really vague about what happened that night. I’m hoping you can fill in the blanks for me. He said he doesn’t want to have anything to do with the Locos anymore. I want to know why.”

  “Sometimes it’s best not to know the details.”

  I stared at him. “Are you serious? I have to know. What’s to say he won’t change his mind tomorrow?”

  “He won’t.”

  “Then why don’t you tell me what happened? You said you helped him get away from the Destinos. So why does he now hate the Locos, too?”

  “The Locos didn’t give him the backup he was hoping for.”

  Oh. Was that it? When the Destinos pounced, his guys didn’t back him up? It made sense. Still, I sensed there was more to it than that.

  He pulled into the driveway.

  “You should come in,” I said, “if it doesn’t bother you that my dad’s home.”

  “I can’t. I’ve gotta be somewhere. I’ll stop by Saturday night unless you’re going to Luke’s after work.”

  “I’m not. I just want to hang out with Alex.”

  “Then we’ll hang out together.”

  Butterflies fluttered in my stomach. “Cool.”

  Reluctantly, I went inside. Dad and Alex were on the couch watching one of the Expendables movies. Gyro wrappings and empty chip bags were on the coffee table. It was good to see them chilling together.

  “Who dropped you off?” Dad asked.

  “My friend Mateo.”

  “Her boyfriend Mateo,” Alex said.

  Dad frowned. “Is he the same Mateo from years ago?”

  “Yeah, same one. He’s getting his paramedic certification.”

  Dad looked impressed. “Really? They do well, paramedics.”

  “He’s teaching me to drive,” Alex said. He was lying on the couch with his feet propped up. “I’m gonna take the test on my birthday or as soon after as I can. Now all I need is a car.”

  “We can talk about that,” Dad said.

  Was he joking? Dad didn’t even have a car himself. He used the cab of his truck whenever he needed to do errands.

  “I’ve been thinking about getting Grace a car,” Dad said.

  That was news to me. I’d asked for one many times—just a cheap one that would get me from A to B. But he’d said he didn’t have the money. Things were different now, I guess. He might’ve saved up some money after all.

  Dad scratched his chin. “Maybe you two could share it. How about this, Alex? You get yourself a part-time job so you can pay for your insurance, and we’ll go look at something the week of your birthday.”

  “Sure, I was planning to get a job anyway,” Alex said. “Can I choose the car?”

  “No way. I pay, I choose. Carol Ann’s Taurus is ten years old but still drives really good. I’m thinking something like that. Sound fair?”

  We both nodded. I was glad Alex knew better than to push it.

  “Great. You’ll need a car to drive up to Atlanta to see Carol Ann and me anyway. She keeps saying she wants to meet you two.”

  Alex and I looked at each other. If that was true, I wished Dad had made it happen already. They’d been dating for at least six months now.

  “We don’t know much about her,” I said carefully. “She’s a teacher, right?”

  Dad nodded. He probably thought he’d told me that, but he hadn’t. Out of curiosity, I’d looked her up on Facebook, though I hadn’t sent her a friend request. She was an elementary school teacher in Brookhaven, Atlanta, and often posted scrapbooking tips and recipes from Pinterest. She seemed normal enough. I was relieved that she wasn’t some stripper who was after what little money Dad had.

  “Does she have any kids?” Alex asked. I’d been wondering about that too.

  “No, she’s never been married. She’s real nice, you’ll see. Directs the kids’ choir at her church. And she can cook. Boy, can she cook. You’ll like her.”

  That remained to be seen.

  Dad left for Atlanta Saturday morning. Alex got up to say good-bye, then went back to bed. I gave Dad a hug, and he promised to come back in a couple of weeks. He also left an envelope of cash, which would come in handy.

  I spent most of the day finishing up my final assignment for sociology. If I didn’t screw it up, I should get an A in the course. Which meant my marks should be high enough to get into ECE—again.

  I made pasta with meatballs for dinner. Alex and I ate at the kitchen table. We’d been eating dinner together since Dad got here, and I hoped we’d continue.

  “Mateo’s coming over after work tonight,” I said, forking some pasta. �
��Maybe we could watch another horror movie.”

  “Sure.” But Alex didn’t seem that excited. He took a few bites. “I’d be locked up right now if it weren’t for him. He tell you that?”

  “He said he helped get you away from the scene. That’s all he said.”

  “Yeah, well. There’s a lot he hasn’t said.”

  “What do you mean?”

  He rubbed a hand over his face. “I mean the reason he was there in the first place.”

  I put my fork down. He had my attention.

  “I shouldn’t have gone there that night. It was my own fucking fault. But the Locos were meeting a shipment, and Animale said they needed the man power.”

  I gritted my teeth. Animale. Such a good friend. “Shipment of what?”

  “He wouldn’t tell me. But I eventually found out it was guns. We had to unload a truck full of boxes. Biggest mistake of my life. When the Destinos jumped us, shit went crazy. Next thing I knew, I was on the ground. When I tried to get up, a Destino kicked me down. Mateo told him to let me go.”

  “And he listened to Mateo?” I didn’t understand. Did Mateo have a weapon? “Why?”

  He diverted his eyes. “Animale started shooting, the stupid son of a bitch. Didn’t want to give up the shipment to the Destinos. Didn’t want to give up his cut. He grabbed Mateo from behind and shoved the gun into his ribs.”

  I put a hand over my mouth. “Oh God.”

  “Mateo got lucky. His friend grabbed Animale by the neck and yanked him away. Animale pulled the trigger at the same time—it’s amazing Mateo didn’t get shot.”

  My heart was pounding now. I’d had no idea that Mateo had almost gotten shot while trying to help Alex. Why didn’t he tell me? “Thank God Mateo brought his friend with him.”

  “Trust me, all his friends were with him.” Alex met my eyes, and he looked almost regretful. “I take it you don’t know about him.”

  “Don’t know what?”

  He sighed. “I figured he wouldn’t want you to know. He’s gonna kill me if I tell you. I probably shouldn’t. I mean, I owe him. But still, you’re my sister. I gotta look out for you.”

  “For God’s sake, what are you trying to tell me?”

  “He’s a Destino.”

  TWISTED