Loving Lily Lavender

by Deanna Kinney

  The second message was Lucas again, “Lily, please call me back. It’s important.”

  The last message was Meagan, “Lily, Lucas called me. He’s trying to reach you. He wouldn’t say what he wanted. I reminded him that today was the wedding. He had forgotten. I’ll try you on your cell.”

  Oh, I had forgotten that I silenced my phone during the ceremony. I pulled it out and checked my missed calls. Sure enough I missed two calls from Lucas and two from Meagan. Well, I didn’t want to talk to him anyway. He probably just wanted to talk his way out of that photograph, but I wasn’t giving him the chance.

  As hard as I tried I couldn’t stop thinking about his calls. So much for my moving on theory. I was very tempted to pick up the phone and call him. I really wanted to hear his voice, to see how he was doing, but I knew it would hurt too much later, so I resisted the urge.

  I went upstairs to change, pulling on my favorite comfy jeans and my Yoda t-shirt, and judging by the fit of it, I’d lost some weight. I pulled my hair up into a loose ponytail, allowing a few curls to fall free, and headed to the kitchen for a glass of tea.

  Just then, I heard the familiar ring of my cell phone. I checked my caller I.D. and recognized Meagan’s number. “Hey, Meg….Yes I got the messages….No, I’m not calling him back. He’s probably just trying to explain about that photograph, and I don’t want to hear his excuses. And I really don’t want to talk about this. I’m just now starting to feel better. I don’t want to have to start all over again….You did what? I just fainted. Why did you have to tell him about that? You can’t manipulate him into coming back. I don’t want him like that. Is there something you’re not telling me?....Then why do you want me to call him back so badly?....Well, I’m not calling him. Goodbye, Meagan. I’ll talk to you tomorrow if I’ve forgiven you by then.” I snapped the phone closed.

  After I counted to ten, I began yet another conversation with myself. First angry, “I can’t believe she told him about my fainting spell!” Then smiling, “Although, she did say he was unnerved about it.” The angry again, “Well good! Let him be upset, serves him right!” I sighed. “Oh, what am I saying? I missed him like crazy. Maybe I should call him.”

  I had the phone in hand and my finger on the button when I heard the doorbell ring. I stuck my phone in my pocket and headed toward the front. As I approached the door, I spotted a black car through the narrow window and gasped. Could it be? With great anticipation, I flung the door open wide and was thunderstruck at the man standing before me. Yes—there he stood, just as gloriously handsome as I remembered, and I fought hard to regulate my breathing. Lucas smiled exuberantly when he saw me and let out a deep sigh of relief as if he’d been holding his breath. If my heart could’ve been any happier it would’ve stopped. We stared at each other for a long moment.

  “Lily,” he finally said, swallowing hard, “I have something I have to tell you.” His expression turned from glee to nervousness in a split second.

  “Wait one minute,” I said, holding up my finger. I turned and ran swiftly to the kitchen and retrieved the magazine photo, anger replacing joy.

  I stepped out onto the porch, shutting the door behind me. “Before you start, do you mind explaining this to me?” I handed it to him. “Why did you bother coming back here? It’s obvious you’ve moved on.” I tried to maintain self-control, but I have to admit, it wasn’t easy.

  He smiled widely as he studied the photo. “Lily, this is my agent, Jane Prato. She wanted to meet with me when I returned home. She was angry that I had returned in worse shape than when I left. Surely you didn’t think anything of this.” His expression was questioning.

  Relief crossed my face. I felt ashamed that I had jumped to the wrong conclusion. “As a matter of fact, I did think something of it. Why wouldn’t I?”

  “Lily, don’t you know how I feel about you?”

  “No, actually I don’t.”

  “Well, that’s what I came to talk to you about.” He dropped the photo and moved down the steps and onto the grass, pacing nervously. “I’ve been such a mess since I left here. I mean, more than usual.” He turned to gaze up at me, sweat forming on his brow. “Lily—you have touched my life in such a way that I am irreversibly altered forever, and because of that my normal is foreign to me now. I can’t go back to my life in L.A. and be comfortable there anymore. I’ve tried that. For two weeks now, I’ve tried, and it’s been the most miserable existence. I can’t sleep. I can’t eat. I can’t even concentrate on the most minimal tasks.

  “But the thing is, when I was here with you it was the most normal I’ve ever been, like somehow I’m meant to be here.”

  An expression of hope crossed my face as I began to allow my heart to hope. “What are you saying, Lucas?” My heart was pounding so hard I could barely hear over it.

  “What I’m saying is—Lily—I am utterly and irrationally, in the craziest kind of way, in love with you. Now, I know it’s ridiculous to think that someone so together, like you, could love someone such a mess, like me, but that’s what I’m asking. I’m asking you to love me, Lily. Please say that you love me.” He paused anxiously, waiting for my response.

  At that moment, I was overwhelmed with all kinds of emotions. First shock, then my soul flooded with such joy that I could barely contain it. My eyes watered and one lonely tear escaped, trickling down my cheek.

  “Lucas, I’ve been absolutely miserable. I saw that photo, and I felt so hurt. I thought you’d forgotten me and moved on. I’ve tried so hard to forget you, but I just can’t.”

  He looked at me with hopeful anticipation.

  “I guess what I’m trying to say is—Lucas, I am utterly and irrationally, in the craziest kind of way, in love with you too.” I repeated his words, fresh tears staining my face.

  His face became elated. “So you forgive me for leaving you?”

  I put my hand up to my heart and said, “You never really left.”

  He smiled widely in relief, reaching his arms out for me. I leaped off the porch and into the comfort of his embrace. The joy of this reunion was like nothing else I’d ever felt. With his arms wrapped tightly around me, and his sweet kisses being planted in my hair, in that moment, I felt the kind of love people die for, and I knew I would never be the same again.

  “Lucas, are you sure this is what you want. I know Meagan told you that I fainted, and I don’t want you to come back because you’re worried about me.”

  “Actually, I was worried about you, but I was already on my way back when I called Meagan. That’s why I was trying to reach you, to tell you I was coming. While I was away, I thought I was going crazy. Everything I heard and smelled reminded me of you. Lisa and I, that’s my co-star, were doing a photo shoot for a movie magazine all the while listening to disco in the background. I was miserable. I even thought I saw you a few times, once even chasing a poor girl down the street. Once I discovered it wasn’t you, she discovered who I was and started chasing me down the street.” He laughed at the memory. “But then I remembered what you said to me that first night in your den. You said, ‘you just need to decide what you want and then pursue it with all your heart’. I knew then I had to come back, because what I want is you, more than anything. So, to answer your question, I’m sure this is what I want. If you’ll have me, I want to stay here with you. I mean, not here with you. I’m going to rent the same apartment I had before.

  “Jane’s not very happy, but she’s supporting my decision. I’m going to have to leave from time to time and travel back and forth for interviews and photo shoots. And next month, I start filming for my next movie, Love’s Eternal. I’ll be on location in Canada, but we can work all that out—as long as we’re together.”

  “I can’t believe this is happening,” I said. “I mean, an hour ago I was miserable, and now I’m the happiest I’ve ever been.” I reached up and hugged him. “I’ve missed you so much.”

  “I’ve missed you too. You can’t imagine how much. I missed this hair,” he
said, wrapping a curl around one of his fingers. “It feels so good to have you in my arms again. But—” he pulled away to peer at me, “are you okay? You fainted, and you look so tired.” He traced the dark circles under my eyes with his finger.

  “Yes, I’m fine. The day I fainted I hadn’t eaten or slept and yes I am tired. I haven’t been sleeping either. But I’ll be fine now.” I clung myself tighter to him again, breathing in deeply, memorizing his fresh scent.

  He buried his face in my hair. “I’ve missed this smell. Oh,” he said, remembering something, “I finally forgave Randall. You were right, it was easier than I thought, and we’re okay now.”

  “I’m so proud of you.”

  “I thought you might be.”

  “I have a great idea. Why don’t we celebrate our reunion? I’ll cook us a big meal, we’ll eat until we’re so full we can’t breathe, and then we’ll talk and cuddle all night.”

  “That sounds great. I just need to make a quick call, and then I’ll help you.” He pulled the phone out of his pocket and winked. “I need to make sure that apartment is still available.”

  The next morning, I woke and was surprised to see that I was still on the sofa wrapped in Lucas’s arms. One minute we were snuggling and talking, and the next minute we were sound asleep. Well, we were both very exhausted.

  I got up as quietly as I could, took off the blanket that was wrapped around me, and covered him with it. He never even moved. I stared down at him for a very long moment. Happiness flowed over me like a soothing balm with healing properties. I closed my eyes and said a sweet prayer of thankfulness.

  When I went into the kitchen I noticed it was ten o’clock. I decided to cook some breakfast. I was thankful for Meagan who’d been taking care of me. Even though I wouldn’t eat much she made sure to keep plenty of food in the fridge.

  “Wait—what is today?” I whispered to myself. “It’s Sunday, and it’s ten o’clock! I’m going to be late for church.” I scurried up the stairs as quietly as I could. I didn’t have time to take a full shower, but washed up and got dressed in a hurry. When I was happy with the way I looked in the mirror, I headed downstairs to Lucas.

  He was still asleep, so instead of waking him, I left him a note:

  Lucas,

  I’ve gone to church, then to see my mother. I didn’t have the heart to wake you. You looked so handsome sleeping. I’ll be back around five. Make yourself at home. There is food in the fridge. I hate to leave you, but I’ll see you soon.

  ~ Your Loving Lily

  Ten minutes later I was slipping quietly into a pew. I spotted Meagan and we waved. The smile on her face was suspicious, and I got the strange feeling she was in on Lucas’ return.

  Pastor Robert Franklin cleared his throat as he began. His sermon was about abstinence, and though it was geared toward the youth, he made eye contact with me more than once. I squirmed in my seat and felt sweat suddenly beading around my collar. Maybe it was just me, but I got the strange sensation he was preaching directly to me.

  I was relieved when church finally ended, and I started making my way quickly toward the doors before I found myself confessing my sinful thoughts. Just because I was refraining from sex with Lucas didn’t mean I hadn’t had my thoughts. As I made my way through the crowd, Meagan caught up to me, pulling me aside and demanding all the details. I knew it. She had known he was on his way. I hadn’t realized she was so good at keeping secrets.

  After I filled her in on everything, she told me how happy she was for me, and then we hugged and said our goodbyes.

  I was headed out the door when Pastor Franklin, or Pastor Rob as he’s often called, intercepted me. “Lilianna, may I have a moment to speak with you?” I’ve known Pastor Rob since I was a small child. He even baptized me when I was six years old.

  “Yes, of course Pastor, what’s on your mind?”

  “Well,” he said, gently pulling me to the side, “word has reached me that you’re seeing some famous Hollywood actor, and well, I’m sure you’re aware that most of these actors are unbelievers. As a matter of fact, most of their lifestyles leave a lot to be desired. I just don’t want to see you turn from your faith and end up hurt,” he said in a sincere tone.

  “Well thank you, Pastor Rob, but he’s not luring me to the dark side if that’s what you mean. If anything I hope I’m influencing him toward the light side. But I do appreciate your concern, and I assure you I’m being very careful.” Then I smiled the most wholesome smile I could.

  “Very good. It’s always nice to talk to you, Lilianna. And please tell your mother we miss her and continue to pray for her. Have a great day.” There’s one thing about Pastor Rob, he’s always direct and to the point.

  “I will, and thank you.” I went swiftly out the door before he changed his mind and started quizzing me more intently.

  When I exited the church, I glanced up, my eyes adjusting to the sudden change in brightness, and gasped. There he was, my man from the dark side, leaning against his rented shiny, black Mustang GT, arms crossed over his chest. He looked very handsome in his khaki jeans and a button up black shirt with the sleeves rolled up to his forearms and his dark sunglasses covering his eyes.

  Everyone in the parking lot was getting an eye full, especially me.

  “Lucas, this is a nice surprise. What are you doing here? And how did you know where I go to church?” I asked curiously as I approached.

  “I heard you leave and so I called Meagan. She gave me directions. I thought it would be a nice surprise to show up here and take you to see your mother. If you don’t mind, that is.”

  “Oh, Lucas, that would be great! She’s going to love you. Thank you.” I reached up on my toes and kissed him.

  “I’m looking forward to it.”

  Chapter Nine

  We got a bite to eat on the way. When we arrived, I was happy to see that Mom remembered me this time, though she had forgotten me by the time we left. Just like I thought, she was instantly in love with Lucas, as were all the other women there. Some actually recognized him and got autographs for their granddaughters, or so they said.

  He was a hit, but then I knew he would be. He actually seemed comfortable there. I guess it was different from his normal screaming teenage girls.

  On the way home, he dropped me at the church to get my car before following me home.

  When we arrived, Meagan was there. She had cooked us supper and was anxiously counting the minutes until we walked through the door.

  “Meg, what a nice surprise.”

  “Well, you always cook, so I thought it would be a nice gesture, you know, for your birthday. I’m sorry it’s late, but yesterday was busy with the wedding and all.”

  “It’s your birthday?” Lucas asked, almost horrified.

  “Well, yesterday actually.”

  “Lily, I’m so sorry. I didn’t know.” He sounded disappointed. “I’ll make it up to you.”

  “Don’t be ridiculous. Yesterday was the day you came back to me. It was the best birthday I’ve ever had.”

  “Yes it was a great evening, but I still want to get you something. I’m going to have to remember—July eleventh,” he said as if committing it to memory.

  “By the way, today is our one month anniversary. We met at Woody’s on June twelfth.”

  “Hmm, I’ll have to remember that too.” He was looking as though he had received too much information, and I couldn’t help but laugh.

  “Actually, there is something I would like to have, though you don’t have to buy it. I would like to read Sylvia Stone’s Forever Love series. You know, the books your movies are based on. But if you don’t mind, I could just borrow yours.”

  “Of course. You’ll enjoy them, but I’m still going to get you something for your birthday. I’ll just be creative.” His smiled at me mischievously.

  “Fine, whatever you think, but your love is enough for me.” I reached up on my toes and kissed him.

  “Okay, enough of that for now. Le
t’s eat,” Meagan said, ushering us into the kitchen.

  I was a little sad to see the evening come to an end. It was nice enjoying time with two of my favorite people together, but it had been a long day. All the lack of sleep was beginning to catch up with me, and I was beginning to feel slightly run down.

  Fortunate for me, I’d planned some time off. I had already completed six weddings, including my friend Susan’s, who also happens to be the mayor’s daughter. Needless to say, I got a pretty good paycheck out of that one. Actually, my next wedding wasn’t scheduled until late fall, and since I don’t have a house payment, I was looking pretty good for the year.

  The first week after Lucas’s return seemed to fly, and too soon it was time for him to go back to L.A. for a photo shoot and interview for In Style magazine.

  “Sometimes these shoots only take a few hours, but occasionally, they can take all day, but I promise I’ll get back here as soon as I can,” he assured me, hugging me tightly. I could tell he was really dreading the trip, but that was the compromise we had to make in order to stay together.

  The goodbye was harder than I thought, so to fill the void, I grabbed Lucas’s copy of Love’s Eternal, the second book in the series by Sylvia Stone. This was the movie Lucas would begin filming in August.

  I had already completed the first book, Forever Love and loved it. Now I understood the draw to it, and why everyone was so in love with Heath Hamilton. I probably would’ve been too if I didn’t have Lucas, who was way better. I only hoped the second book was as good.

  By the end of the day, I had talked to Lucas twice on the phone. It was amazing to me that he actually missed me as much as I missed him. I also completed ninety percent of the second book and loved it better than the first one.

  My mind was swamped with fatigue as I headed up to my room to get in the shower before going to bed. As I laid my head down on my pillow, something crinkled. I peered over and found a note folded neatly on my pillow. I opened it and read these beautiful words: