The Trouble With Furries

by David Sharp

  "Do you like it?" Daniel ran a hand through it. "I dyed it blue to match my fur."

  "I don't want to know what else is blue. Only you, Daniel...only you would do that." Darren waved to Freddy across the room. "We'll catch up later." He was off milling through his bar family on his way to the star table.

  Daniel absently twirled his wolf tail and had an epiphany. It was that he was no longer a part of Trade, most of them not wanting to have anything to do with him, like they had never known him. He was an outsider, or at the least shunned in their eyes. He returned to Patrick, another that did not want him, and grabbed his doubled tequila sunrise. Patrick and Max were reminiscing about old times.

  "Hey, I have to go to the restroom." Daniel excused himself from them, barely noticed.

  Inside the restroom, Daniel closed and latched a stall door to block out the world of Trade. Fumbling with a bag he got from Alec, he stuck in a cut off straw and did an extra big bump. It burned in his nose, but was followed by the rush. He nearly dropped the bag in the toilet from a sudden violent banging on the stall door.

  "Open up! What the hell are you doing in there, boy?"

  Daniel momentarily freaked out, then stopped and tilted his head to the side. "Eddie?"

  Daniel unlatched the door and saw Eddie, wearing his trade-marked coveralls, standing in an angry jock stance.

  "So you think you are going to come waltzing into this club and ignore me. I don't think so."

  "I just got here. Priorities are..." Daniel held up one hand, "Drink..." he then held up the other hand. "Dope. Would you like some?"

  "Does a fish like water?"

  "I thought that was - does a lush love beer."

  "Very funny, now hand it over."

  "Hey, Hoover, slow down."

  "It's better than being wasteful." Eddie wiped Daniel's upper lip with a finger and then licked it.

  Daniel felt sad. "I don't want to be here."

  "Me and you both, buddy. How about we get fucked up and forget it all?"

  "Can we?" Daniel truly wished it was so.

  *

  Daniel awoke the next day with a young guy in bed next to him, and it took him a moment to realize that it was Lance. He stared at the smooth torso by his side, then to the blue wolf in the closet, doubting his life again. The phone rang in the other room. Daniel reluctantly got up, called like a slave with a bell, and let sleeping beauty lie.

  He tiptoed across the room, and realizing how dumb it was with the phone ringing, he sped up his step and answered it. A message echoed in his ear.

  "You have a call from a Harris County inmate. Will you accept the charges? Press one for yes or two for no."

  Daniel pressed one and said, "Hello, Chad?"

  "Damn, Daniel, it's good to hear your voice."

  "I uh...I was coming to visit you this week."

  "No, it's cool. I mean, I get it. I probably wouldn't have visited you either."

  "I'm sorry, Chad."

  "Sorry Charlie, that's funny. You sound like that tuna-fish commercial."

  "But I am. I have been away and then I got busy."

  "Really, who's there?"

  "Nobody's here. What do you mean?"

  "Come on, you have somebody over at Patrick's loft. Damn, that is messed up."

  "Hey, he knows about..."

  "I knew it. You have been cheating on me."

  "I uh...I don't...I didn't know when you were getting out."

  "Awe, I'm just fucking with you, dude," Chad laughed through the receiver into Daniel's ear.

  "That's messed up. Why would you do that?"

  "Because somebody has to, and I don't care. Anyway, Patrick told me it was some teenager, so no worries there." Chad then said something to somebody on the other side. "Hey, listen up. I'm getting out tomorrow night - late. Can you meet me at Steam?"

  "Sure, I suppose. What time?"

  "After midnight. I have to get off of the phone now. Time's up."

  "Okay, I'll be there. Bye, Chad."

  "It's going to be the bomb, dude. Bye."

  The dial tone hit Daniel's ear and sounded way too loud. He stood in the kitchen, dumbstruck at how fast things could change. Lance walked out of the bedroom as if on cue in his teddy bear boxers.

  "Hey, what's up, Daniel?" Lance had a look that said he was listening to the phone call.

  "Nothing, we need to talk." Daniel met Lance halfway, meeting him in the living room next to the spiral stairs.

  "Chad's coming back and you want me gone. Is that it?"

  "No, I need to make room, though. Patrick said that Chad could stay, but it would have to be with me."

  "What does that change? I still look up to you."

  "I'm not a role model."

  "No, you're not. You need to slow down and take care of yourself."

  "What do you want, Lance?"

  "I just care. I want you to be okay."

  "You care...about me?"

  "You helped me out, Daniel." Lance could not help from tearing up.

  "By cruising you at the gym," Daniel blurted out, not finishing his thought.

  "I was so scared. I'm gay, but I can't tell anyone."

  "I don't want to be your boyfriend. I don't love you."

  "No, I'm breaking up with you. We were dating, and you can't pretend that we had nothing just because it's convenient for you. You are selfish, Daniel, and you deserve whatever you get. I have to go."

  Daniel felt a pang in his chest as Lance hurriedly dressed and left with a word, tears falling down his face. He knew he had done a horrible thing but he also knew there was no undoing it...not with the animals coming back.

  Chapter Twenty-Six:

  Daniel danced in his own personal bubble and wished that it was Furry Friday. His tail hung loose as he twirled on the dance floor to an industrial beat, Bi-God 20's, The Bog. He noticed Alec out from behind Steam's bar doing a funky dance next to him.

  "What's up, Alec?"

  "Looking for trade," Alex smirked and shuffled.

  "It's about ten blocks from here."

  "Not that dump. I need my dick sucked."

  "Good luck with that."

  "Tramp," Alec held out a card lettered in fancy embossed letters.

  "What's that?"

  "It's your invitation to the Fur Meet."

  Daniel took the card and felt the softness of the heavy stock of fine paper.

  "Oh my God, when is it?"

  "Open it later. Your old partner is out of county and told me to give that to you."

  Daniel scanned the half-empty club and saw Chad with a wide-eyed stare checking out the surroundings.

  "Oh, he's here!" Daniel felt the world melt away, a true smile spreading across his face.

  Alec faded off of the floor and back to his bar as Chad danced his way in. Together, Daniel and Chad danced like they had just met for the first time. There was a frisson between them and the heat was apparent. Daniel looked at their reflection in the mirror collage and it was fractured and warped.

  "Let's go back to the loft," Daniel whispered in Chad's ear.

  "Patrick is going to be mad at me." Chad grabbed hold of Daniel's wolf tail and held on.

  "Your fox suit is next to my wolf suit in the guest room closet."

  "Have we been banished?"

  "Yes, I suppose so."

  "Is the boy gone?"

  "He's gone."

  "Let's go. I want to roll around on a real bed with my blue haired freak and my fur."

  *

  Patrick's loft was strangely quiet. Even at late hours, a television was usually on upstairs, but not that night.

  "He's not here," Chad exhaled and some of the tension left his shoulders.

  "You're right. He's like a haunting. You can sense when he's around." Daniel felt haunted by another, feeling the loss of Lance who he last saw there.

  "I got a little something for us." Chad pulled out a bag of powder.

  "That's not speed. What is it?"

  "It
's horse."

  "Heroin? I don't like this, Chad."

  "Have you tried it?"

  "No, but last time I saw the bloodbath."

  "You don't know what it's like. Trust me."

  "Not now. I don't want to do that now."

  Chad caressed the seal of the bag and put it away. "Okay. I've waited this long, a little longer ain't going to hurt."

  Daniel felt relieved and his stray hand found the invitation in his pocket. He opened the fine folded card, enjoying the fur-like touch of it. The writing was formal yet chaotic: Fur Meet Saturday, March 19th, 1994 - ANIMUS.

  "The Fur Meet is tomorrow!"

  "Good, I will save it for that." Chad went to the closet and freed the fur suits from the rack.

  The wolf and the fox lay on the bed together, first alone as stretched out skins, and then with Daniel and Chad inside of their hides, they truly came to life. The coupling was different than before. Something had changed Chad in jail. Daniel also felt a loss of his own. Usually, he was easy to play, but this time he had to think harder to make things work. The animals clawed and pawed until the rough act was consummated in sticky fur.

  The aftermath was different, too. To ease the distress, the red fox smoked a cigarette with the blue wolf sprawled at his side.

  The fox spoke in a faraway voice, "Daniel, we need to go somewhere to prepare for the Fur Meet."

  The wolf replied, "Where is better than home?"

  "This is no longer our home."

  "Then we are strays and have nowhere to go." The wolf snickered at the seriousness.

  "This is no joke, Daniel. I don't want to be here when Patrick gets back."

  "So, what, we just leave in the middle of the night?"

  "We don't have to tell anyone. Trust me."

  "Dammit, Chad, I don't know."

  "I got this bag burning a hole in my pocket and I know a place where nobody cares about that."

  "You're talking about Paul's."

  "So what if I am?"

  "I went over there and Paul and James were there..."

  "That was the trouble you wanted to tell me about. Slings and things are no big deal, dude. You are going with me this time. I won't let them take advantage of you again."

  "How did you know?"

  "I know how James thinks, and he gave you to Paul to pay my debt."

  "It was messed up, Chad."

  "It is what it is. You seem okay. They didn't hurt you."

  "What if there is more to this fur thing than sex?"

  "You talked to Wesley, too. I'll bet he made a move on you and then told you how wrong a fur pile was."

  "He did, but without a suit."

  "Don't you see, Daniel? All they want is to get in your pants, so you might as well take advantage of it."

  "I'm not an escort."

  "Neither am I. What I am is an opportunist. And with you, I see lots of new opportunities."

  "For you or for both of us?" Daniel, the wolf, spoke through his canine teeth.

  "What do you think? I mean, what do you really think? I have been good to you from the start. I like your company. You are crazy, like me."

  "Alright, fuck it. Let's go see them and maybe I will feel better about the last time if you are there."

  "That's the spirit, the wolf spirit I like."

  "Oh yeah, now I'm going to show you what the wild things do." The wolf took over.

  The fox lifted its haunches. "I was hoping you would say that, you fucking beast."

  *

  Daniel felt a split in desires. On one hand, the urge to change was strong. On the other hand was a stronger pull to go with whatever happened and see where it led. No easy answer came from his consciousness or spirit, so he let the conflict go and gave up on God in that moment.

  The darkness is coming, Daniel darkly thought, as he packed the blue wolf into a bag next to Chad's bundled fox. He watched Chad adjust his tail and realized that he truly cared for nothing but himself. Daniel wondered if he could ever be like that.

  The night was brimming with hustlers of different sorts that only came out at night. It was a small mystery as to where they were during daylight, but in the night, the neighborhood was theirs to ply their trades of sex and drugs. Chad nodded to a rough man, dirty and tattooed, as he walked by. Daniel did not like the scene and wanted to tread lightly without incident, especially shouldering the duffel bags. The idea of returning to the company of those who had used him did his mood no favors. Daniel felt that he needed to collect on what was owed to him since they had already taken what they wanted. Images of the Satyr and the Minotaur having their way with his wolf-self flooded back, and Daniel hung back, shaking them off as Chad rapped on the red door of the Satyr's lair.

  Chad looked over his shoulder at Daniel and smiled. "Don't you worry. Paul will play nice."

  "I'm cool." Daniel licked his dry lips.

  The red door opened and a sketchy, shirtless James answered. "I see you're out, Chad. At least you brought your cute little friend."

  "Is Paul here?" Chad pushed to walk inside.

  "It's his place." James blocked the way.

  Daniel stepped up. "Come on, James, let us in."

  "Alright, I know that Paul would like to see you again, even if you are with this one."

  "Thanks, James," Chad pushed his way forward with Daniel practically on his hip.

  Paul's apartment was much nicer than Daniel had imagined. He walked inside and was astounded by the clean, sterile white theme of the place. James sat down on an armchair in the living room, his eyes stubbornly locked on the interlopers. Paul sat like a king, in boxers, on the sofa and surveyed Chad for a long moment before greeting both of them.

  "Welcome back, Chad. And you too are welcome, Daniel. Have a seat. I'm making some trail mix."

  The glass coffee table was covered in an assortment of pills and powders, all surrounding a bowl with a stone grinder at its center. Daniel sat down Indian style on the floor with Chad at his side. Like kids watching a master candy maker create a new confection, they watched Paul create his mixture. All eyes in the room watched as Paul poured the ingredients into the bowl. Chad smoothly reached into his pocket and silently handed over the bag of heroin for the mixture. Daniel felt fear at what was being made and leaned back into the slight comfort of Chad's arm around his middle. The pills, white and blue speckled, were crunched and ground into the mix. Next, a bag of blue glass shattered on top. Paul swirled the handle of the stone grinder, all of it churning together.

  "I told you so, Daniel." Paul gloated.

  "What?" Daniel was surprised at the talk directed at him.

  "I told you I would see you again."

  "That was before the last time I saw you."

  "Are you sure?" James stretched and rubbed his side.

  "That was a mighty fun time." Paul winked as he emptied the leftovers in the grinder into the bowl.

  "Hey, you two leave him alone. He's not like me," Chad interjected.

  "Well, he's here now." Paul, satisfied with his creation, licked a finger.

  "Hey, enough wise already. I just got out and I want to party. Tonight is the Fur Meet," Chad said with a genuine smile to break the tension of his words.

  "Yeah, I need to get ready." James sat upright, then stood and snapped the waistband of his workout shorts.

  "We all need to get ready. And when we are, this special concoction I made will make us float."

  "Is it dangerous?" Daniel wondered out loud, the fear dripping into his voice.

  "The world is dangerous, Daniel. You never know what wild animals will appear," Paul mocked.

  "I think he gets it. Both of you had your way. Now leave him be, okay? I never mentioned you when I was locked up." Chad was not afraid of them.

  Paul's gaze could have cut steel. "I know you didn't because I checked."

  "As I knew you would," Chad held his glare.

  "I don't care about the dealing or whatever. I want to go to this Fur Meet and do it proper
," Daniel spoke out of turn.

  "I told you I liked this one. He has balls," James almost laughed.

  "He does." Paul rose from his makeshift throne. "Fine, this night will be the one."

  "Come on, Daniel, let's change." Chad took Daniel by the arm and led him to the bathroom.

  "I knew this was a bad idea," Daniel said as the door closed.

  "You are going to dig the place. I swear that you have never seen anything like it. There will be more furries there than you could possible imagine."

  "Something is wrong, Chad. I feel it in my bones. Something is wrong. Adam told me so."

  "He freaked out that night last year. That horse suit of his was too confining for him. It probably made him claustrophobic."

  "I think it was more than that."

  "Trust me, Daniel. I will take care of you."

  "Okay," Daniel sighed, "I will, just this one last time."

  "Let's start this night right then." Chad dug a small bag out of his pocket.

  "I thought you gave that to them," Daniel was apprehensive.

  "Not all of it," Chad smirked.

  "I don't know." Daniel felt stuck at a crossroads in his mind, but knew everything was moving forward regardless.

  "Just do it," Chad offered a full key of brownish powder.

  "Okay," Daniel snorted and thought of spice, like the kind from the Bi-God 20 song about Dune, and it felt less dangerous and less real.

  Chad reloaded the key and cleaned it off. "Nice," he said and leaned in and kissed a bewildered Daniel. "Now you are one of us."

  "I am?"

  "Yes you are, Wolfie."

  Daniel looked around and the world felt different, like something was coming, slowly crossing over from the other side. He smiled when he got what it was: the animals were coming.

  Daniel watched Chad strip and joined him, glad to be free of the normal clothes. The transformation of body and mind took place in the small bathroom in ritualistic fashion. Tails were attached to rings, black make-up was painted around eyes, and the fur suits were climbed into with nothing underneath but bare skin. Daniel was the wolf, and it felt good. He looked at his blue paws and saw his magnificent lupine reflection in the medicine cabinet mirror. The red fox made a yipping noise, and the wolf followed him out of the bathroom into the Satyr's lair.

  The living room, lit by candles, was darker, more ominous...as if mythological beasts could inhabit it. A chair rocked with a creak and the wolf, through its pixelated eyes, saw the Minotaur staring at him proudly. The fox grabbed the wolf's paw and brought him down before the altar in the form of the glass coffee table with its assortment of magical powders. The light flickered in the room from the candles as if it were firelight from torches in a long ago cave.