The Senator's Son

by Anna Albo

  "I didn't intentionally do it!"

  "Sure you did. You needed to validate that she likes you. I already told you that she does, so why push her buttons?"

  "I wasn't doing that. I don't even know why I started dating Heather."

  "Because you are a—"

  I cut her off before she could finish. "Yeah, I get it."

  "Like I told you before, give Emma a little space, and if you find yourself getting horny, get romantic with one of your hands."

  With that she hung up.

  I hated when Genie was right.

  HEATHER MET ME O'CONNOR's, one of the lunch places on campus. I had an hour before meeting up with Emma to go home.

  "Hello," she said, placing a kiss on my cheek and settling into the seat across from me. She set her overflowing school bag down and unwrapped the sandwich she'd grabbed. "How was your day?"

  "Busy. Lots of assignments to do."

  "I have half a textbook to read and two papers to finish by Monday. It's going to be a long weekend. Are you okay if we don't see each other?"

  "About that, I thought we could talk. I'm getting swamped with school and I need to focus on my marks to get into law school. I think we might not get to see each other as much."

  She was about to take a bite of her sandwich, but set it back on the plastic wrap. "I see," she said, her voice dropping off.

  "I can't blow this chance. I have to stay committed."

  "I understand. Look, it's not like we were serious or anything."

  "You're a great girl. I hate doing this."

  She looked off in the distance and when her gaze returned to me, she shrugged. "It's about your roommate, isn't it? I'm not going to freak out, I just want to know."

  "It's not about Emma."

  One eyebrow rose. "I haven't known you long, but I can tell that's a lie. Maybe you don't believe it yet, but this is all about her."

  Heather really was a great girl. Not an ounce of bitterness was in her voice. It was all matter-of-fact, calm and understanding. Had it been a different time, if Emma had never come into my life, Heather was a girl I could fall for.

  "You might be right, I don't know."

  "You're a good guy, Zach Walker. Emma is lucky. I've had this feeling she's liked you for a long time. I see it when you meet up with her after classes. Tell her how you feel and she'll be putty in your hands."

  I didn’t know how to respond to that.

  "I'm sorry this didn't work out," I said.

  "Hey, it's only been a few weeks. I'll get over it."

  She got up and so did I. I hugged her tightly and kissed her cheek. "Let's keep in touch, okay?"

  "Sure."

  She didn’t say it convincingly.

  “I mean it.”

  “Okay, Zach. See you around.”

  I sat again and thought about what she'd said. Emma, putty in my hands? Not a fucking chance. I may have cleared an obstacle, but I'm not sure it made a difference.

  CHAPTER TWENTY-SEVEN

  EMMA

  Genie called and asked if I wanted to go out with her, Lucy, and Andrea on Friday. I accepted her offer immediately. Dancing the night away with a few vodka and sevens was definitely my idea of a good time. All week I looked forward to it and even went out shopping to pick up something new to wear.

  Thursday after class Zach was waiting for me alone. No Heather. She'd been a fixture every day, saying goodbye with their long drawn out kisses. Yuck.

  "I'm the driver tomorrow night," he said. "I'll drop you guys off and pick you up later."

  "You have a hot date?"

  "No, hanging out with the guys."

  "What about Heather?"

  "We stopped seeing each other. Nice girl but not right for me."

  I stumbled and nearly hit the ground. Zach grabbed my arm to steady me. "You okay?"

  "Tripped over my own feet." What I wanted to do was a happy dance. "Sorry to hear about Heather."

  "No big deal. So what are we eating tonight?"

  "It's nothing too exotic, just some Crockpot chili. I didn't have time for anything else."

  "Homemade garlic bread?"

  "Yup, but the bread is frozen. No time for fresh."

  "Before you came along, dinner was either a sandwich or something I could nuke."

  "Then you must be happy to have me around."

  He smiled. "Yup, you're okay."

  My body warmed and my skin tingled. "I was thinking of making roasted chicken tomorrow with lemon potatoes and a Greek salad."

  "I love your lemon potatoes."

  "I could use the rest of the lemons to make a meringue pie."

  "I love lemon meringue pie."

  I smiled. We were back to normal, just the way I liked it.

  I LOVED DANCING. ANDREA, Lucy, Genie, and I danced at Diablo's, the latest and hottest club to open, and I didn't have a single care. With Heather out of the picture, the dark cloud that had been hanging over me for weeks had finally lifted. I was having fun again.

  "Let's talk," Genie suggested. We were both glistening from sweat and in dire need of drink refills. We found a quiet part of the bar with a bunch of sofas and tables while Andrea and Lucy continued to dance.

  "Thanks for inviting me," I said. "I'm having a great time."

  "You're invited anytime. To be honest, this is first time I've been out since we got back to school."

  "We've got to do it more often."

  "Let's toast to more girls' nights out."

  I sucked back half my drink, letting the alcohol roll down my throat. I could have done a toast to fake IDs, but that was for another time. Instead I scanned the crowd, a contented smile plastered on my face.

  "How have you been? We really haven't talked much," Genie said, sipping her rum and Coke.

  "I've been good. Work and school keep me busy."

  "Any Bianca sightings?"

  I stiffened a little. She, or one of her cohorts, had sent another text. "No, I don't see her."

  "And everything is good with my brother? He hasn't driven you crazy yet?"

  "No, we have a good time."

  "You know, he cares about you."

  "I'm care about him too. He's done so much for me and I don't know how I'll ever repay him."

  Genie grinned devilishly. "That's not what I meant."

  So many times things went straight over my head. For instance, my friendship with Jake was full of hints that I was a bother to him, but I'd missed them all. Or the time at summer camp when I was twelve—the only year I went to summer camp. I was hanging out with a couple of girls who I thought liked me up until I caught them in the showers telling other girls how creepy I was because I read a lot and didn't like to talk about boys or talk about much at all.

  But this hint was hitting me straight in the face.

  "I know what you're thinking, but I'm sure you're wrong."

  "I've known Zach for twenty years. We shared a womb together so I've got a pretty good read on him. I know when he likes a girl, and he likes you a lot."

  My mouth went dry. Coming from Genie, this was serious. Although I'd only known her a few short months, she wasn't the type of person to bullshit anyone. "I still think you're wrong."

  "And how do you feel about him?"

  "I don't know," I said, avoiding eye contact and stirring my drink over and over again. If I kept it up, I'd stir the fizz right out of it.

  "Do you still like that Jake guy?"

  "Not a chance."

  "Then what's the problem?"

  "We have a good relationship, so why complicate it?"

  "Don't hate me for asking, but have you had a boyfriend before?"

  "No, not really."

  Genie chortled. "What kind of answer is that?"

  "Well, a few months before my grandma died, I dated this guy at the tennis club. He was nice and I was curious. We went out a few times and had sex once. Looking back, I think I wanted to know what it was like even though I didn't really feel a connection with him. It'
s not something I regret."

  Genie sucked back her drink and motioned to the bartender to get us refills. "You know, I have a lot of respect for that. You were curious, you got it out of the way. Was he cute at least?"

  "I guess so. It was his first time too, so we were a bit of a mess. I didn't call him, he didn't call me, and I think we were both happy about that."

  "The first time isn't memorable unless you really like the guy and he's super cute and has an amazingly beautiful sister."

  I rolled my eyes and finished my drink. "Zach is great, but he scares me."

  Had I said that aloud? Damn alcohol. And it wasn't like I was tipsy.

  "Zach isn't scary. Why do you say that?"

  "I don't want to go out with a guy for a few months. When I meet the right guy, it has to be long term. Zach isn't a long-term kind of guy."

  "That's because he hasn't met the right girl. You're the right girl."

  My cheeks flushed. "You don't know that."

  "Remember, I shared a womb with him. I know what he's thinking before he does."

  I fidgeted on the sofa. Did I tell her about the kiss? Maybe she already knew about it. My head was a whirlwind of jumbled thoughts, none helped by alcohol. "I'm not his type of girl."

  Genie's eyes narrowed. "Oh yes, you most certainly are. And he knows it too, and that's why he's been very cautious with you. I think you should give him a chance."

  The bartender came around with our drinks, and right after that, Andrea and Lucy collapsed onto the empty sofa facing ours. All discussion about Zach ended, and I wasn't sad about that.

  SATURDAY NIGHT, AS I nursed the last of a mild hangover, Zach ordered pizzas. While I devoured a slice of pepperoni, mushroom, and black olive, he found a movie for us to watch.

  "I'm starved," I said between bites. "This is good pizza."

  "It's from Luigi's. Normally they don't deliver this far, but my family's a good customer."

  I wolfed down three slices before sprawling out on the sofa. "I'm stuffed," I said. Zach got up to grab more beers, and I lifted my legs and tucked up my knees to make room for him.

  "Stretch your legs, no big deal," he said, grasping on to them and laying them over his thighs. Sure, it was only an innocent touch, but it still got my blood pumping.

  "What do you want to watch?" he asked, handing me a beer. "I've got it narrowed down to a few."

  "Whatever you want."

  "Action flick it is."

  He settled on a shoot-’em-up movie. I watched disinterestedly, mostly from my carb coma, and didn't notice right away that both Zach's hands were on my lower legs, rubbing them ever so gently. I liked it, but it terrified me. My calves tensed and grew rigid. Damn! Why was I getting nervous? Deep down I trusted Zach, so why was I so scared?

  I sucked back some beer and closed my eyes. I'd think some happy relaxing thoughts, like frolicking on a Hawaiian beach (even though I'd never set foot on one), or reading a book on a comfy lawn chair by the lake. At some point I drifted off to sleep and an hour or so later Zach was tickling my feet.

  "Hey," I said, squirming.

  "You missed the entire movie," he said.

  I yawned and sat up. "Did I miss anything good?"

  "It was all right. Want another beer? More pizza?"

  "I'm good."

  He got up and grabbed another beer and a slice of pizza. He munched away and I couldn't help but stare at his strong jaw line, his five o'clock shadow, and the muscles flexing in his arms. Feeling my eyes on him, he turned to look at me.

  "Do I have pepperoni on my face?"

  "No."

  I wanted to kiss him so badly.

  "Should we watch another movie or are you going to crash in five minutes?"

  "We can watch a movie. I'll try to stay awake."

  This time he chose an action movie with a hint of romance. A few minutes in and I was already envisioning wrapping my arms around him but I didn't dare move. I didn't know how to tell him what I wanted when I was scared of where it would lead. My conversation with Genie kept running through my head. What if she was wrong?

  I leaned in closer to him, a completely involuntary action. He smelled so nice. What if he rejected me? But to have his arms around me, holding me close...I wanted that so much. But if he got mad? Asked me what I was doing? Made a big deal? I was a mess.

  "What's up? Are you cold?" he asked, his hand resting on my thigh just above the knee. The heat radiating through my jeans and up my leg was like nothing I'd felt before.

  I looked at him, wide-eyed and wanting. We stared at each other for what felt like forever. Reading my mind, he grasped my arms and pulled me close, and I closed my eyes with a contented sigh. His lips pressed gently against mine, testing the waters, waiting for me to respond. I kissed him back, feeling every inch of my body come alive. This was what connected felt like. He slid his arms around me, resting on the small of my back. Then he lifted me so that I was straddling him. The kiss intensified, his tongue meeting mine, still tasting of beer. My head was swimming with emotions and feelings so foreign to me.

  Our breaths heavy, he pulled me closer, my chest pressed up against his. His lips left mine, passing over my earlobe sending the most marvelous chill through me.

  "Come to my room," he said, his voice low and wanting.

  My body went cold. His room meant sex. I leapt off him like someone had thrown a bucket of ice water on me. "No, I can't."

  He looked puzzled, the euphoria of the last few minutes fading away. "Emma, we don't have to. Why are you so freaked out?"

  Did I look freaked out? My hands were shaking but that could have been from our make-out session. "I'm not, I just can't move that fast."

  "Fine, we can move slowly," he said, extending his hand to me. "I know it's your first time and I don't want to rush you."

  "I'm not a virgin. I guess you just assumed that? Like no guy would want to have sex with me?" Why was I getting so defensive? I had to rein it in.

  "Sorry, you just never mentioned a boyfriend."

  "I had sex with a guy once. Now you know. I guess you don't get to bang a virgin."

  What was wrong with me? Now I'd pissed him off too. I could see his face souring by the second.

  "I'm beginning to think that your opinion of me is pretty low. Like I just screw around, have some fun then move on. I've known you for five months so if that's what I wanted to do, don't you think I would have tried it a long time ago? Emma, I like you... but you know what, never mind. Keep pining for Jake."

  He got up, grabbed his keys, jacket, and left. I stood in the living room not knowing what to do or how to fix what I'd royally screwed up.

  CHAPTER TWENTY-EIGHT

  EMMA

  I waited up for Zach, but he didn't come home until late. I wanted to talk to him but based on his expression the next morning, he was in no mood. He had his gym bag and passed by the living room and out the door without a word.

  I slumped down on the sofa and wanted to cry. I thought if we talked it through, we could come to some kind of understanding, but I didn't even know what to say. I was getting worked up over so many things, too many to make any rational sense of. If we started dating and it got serious then what? First, I'd have to tell Dad; second, I'd have to be a girlfriend—and I had no idea what that entailed—and third, I’d have to let Zach into my personal space, and no one got that close to me. That was probably why I’d loved Jake so much. He was unattainable, just the way I liked it.

  The hardest part of all would be talking to Zach. I didn't know how to have this conversation with him. What would I even say? For a brief moment I considered writing him a letter, like my old therapist told me to do after Grandma died. The letter was supposed to be to Grandma telling her how much I missed her, how angry I was that cancer had taken her away, and any other feelings I was having. I wrote the letter and it did make me feel better, but then what was I supposed to do with it? Mail it to heaven?

  I made coffee and waited. He couldn't hide a
t the gym forever, and just after noon, he came through the door. I leapt from the sofa and caught him before he could retreat to his bedroom, change, and leave again.

  "Can we talk for a minute?" I asked, blocking his path.

  His expression couldn't look more disinterested. "About what?"

  "Last night. Give me a chance to explain."

  He set his gym bag down and grimaced. He was not happy, which made the butterflies in my chest flutter even more. "Fine."

  "Let's sit," I suggested. He seemed less imposing that way.

  He followed me to the sofa and we sat. He was staring straight ahead, tense and annoyed, while I faced him, a nervous wreck.

  "I'm not the best communicator," I began.

  "You can say that again," he muttered.

  I let out a quick, halting breath. He wasn't going to make this easy. "Sometimes I just panic like I did last night. I wasn't ready to have sex with you. It doesn't mean I don't want to. It was just happening so fast."

  He faced me, his eyes full of fire. "Answer one question: are you still in love with Jake?"

  "No! Why do you keep asking that? I haven't talked to or seen him in months."

  "I think you panic because if you're with me you can't be with him."

  The longest moment passed, the two of us just staring at one another. I took one deep breath to calm myself and wished I had water to wet my dry mouth. "Jake's dead to me. He hurt me more than anyone ever could. He was my friend, or so I thought. Jake was supposed to be my soulmate, my forever, but that ended a long time ago. And you think I still want to be with him? I don't want to be in the same room with him."

  "Then why haven't you told your dad the truth?"

  So that was it? "I'm not protecting Jake, I'm protecting my dad. Dad always comes first."

  More painful silence. I felt like I was teetering on the edge of a cliff and Zach had the power to give me that final push.

  He crossed his arms over his chest, his face tight and grim. "What am I supposed to do? What do you want me to do?"

  "I don't know because I don't know what you want from me."