Regress (The Alliance Chronicles Book 1)

by SF Benson

  “Tru, you’re my weakness. Every thought I have, you’re in it. My life was empty before you. I can’t imagine a day without you in it. My superiors knew my feelings for you distracted me. I’d jeopardize the mission just to be with you.”

  My God. I didn’t expect that. He made this too difficult. My mind and heart screamed at me to hear him out. My feet, however, urged me to run away. I decided to listen to my heart.

  “S-so when did you join the Alliance?”

  “They recruited me when I was in the Corps, but I didn’t join. After I’d read my father’s journals and found out just how dangerous the streets were, I joined.”

  Why didn’t he tell me these things in the beginning? “And I was your mission?”

  “No.” Z ran his hand through his hair. “Tru, I told you this before. You were never a mission. I wasn’t supposed to involve you at all.”

  “But you did.” So he pursued me on his own. Was that supposed to make me feel better? “You love me?”

  “I do love you.” He shoved his hands in his pockets. “I was ready to chuck the mission to keep you safe.”

  “Why didn’t you tell me everything when I asked you?”

  Z shrugged. “Call me stupid. I was scared I’d lose you.”

  “Seriously?”

  “Seriously. You should hear yourself talk about people who lie. If I told you everything about myself on day one, would you have stayed around?”

  I looked at the ground. I wouldn’t have given him a thought. It would have sounded like a lie.

  “I can’t lose you, Tru. You are everything to me. Please tell me I haven’t screwed this up.”

  Hate. Confusion. Pity. Hurt. Which emotion should I choose? I was so tired of everyone lying to me. Protection. Fear. It didn’t matter the reason. Or did it? What justified telling untruths? I’ve seen deception kill people, break hearts. Even Zared was guilty of omitting the truth. I wanted him to suffer for keeping me in the dark. I wanted to stick to my principles. My heart reminded me that my stubbornness had consequences. I lost the opportunity to say goodbye to my father. Would I let my obstinacy cost me a relationship?

  “Tru?” He held his hand out to me.

  Maybe I should bend a little. I took his hand in mine. “No.”

  Zared wrapped his arms around me. “I promise you no more secrets.”

  “No more.” I was an idiot. He kept secrets to keep me safe. Didn’t my mother attempt the same thing? Was it too late for me to forgive her?

  Ko approached us. “If we had time, I’d tell you two to get a room. Zared, you gotta go now.”

  “Tru, please be careful. If we’re separated, trust Ko and Asher.”

  “I will. Watch your back, too.”

  “Babe, I love you.”

  I swallowed the ache in my throat. Cold fingers clutched at my chest. I didn’t like the feeling. “I love you, too.”

  He kissed me quickly and then jogged off. Ko hooked her arm through mine. “We need to walk and talk. I don't have much time.”

  “So when were you going to tell me about your special someone?”

  “I don’t know what you’re talking about.” Her jaw twitched. “I want to go over the plan.”

  “Fine.” When this was over, I’d get her to tell me about this special someone. “Sherman is leaving combat gear for us. After we put it on, then what?”

  “Sherman will bring you to the old museum at the water's edge. A boat, along with Asher, will be waiting for you.”

  “Where are we going?”

  “You'll meet up with Alliance members in Canada. The Riza faction will meet you there. I trust you can shoot a gun?”

  “Zared taught me.”

  “Good, good.” She patted my hand.

  “Ko, why are you doing this?”

  “Because you're my best friend.”

  “I mean the Alliance. How can you be Riza and a traitor?”

  Ko stopped and removed her glasses. “Back in the Corps, I met someone who let me know I was being duped by the New Order.”

  “Asher?”

  “Yes.” A corner of her mouth lifted. “Good guess.”

  “Not a guess. Your voice changes when you say his name. When you told Zared that Asher was here, you smiled. So he’s your special someone?”

  She blushed.

  I knew it. Ko was lousy at keeping some secrets. “Finish your story.”

  “There's not much to it.” She shrugged. “Asher pointed out inconsistencies in the New Order’s policies. And then, we discovered the experiment files.”

  I raised an eyebrow. “The same ones Zared and I found in the lab?”

  “Yes. The experiments proved this government wasn't the answer. Then, Asher told me about the Alliance.”

  “So you didn’t know about the Alliance when you were in the Corps?”

  “Not at first.” Ko exhaled. “I almost quit the Corps. Asher convinced me to stay. He said something about some rebel group, but I didn’t get any details. I guess I needed proof first.”

  “You know it might take another revolution to get rid of the New Order.”

  “That’s a risk we have to take.” She frowned. “Things have to change, Tru. And, you have to choose a side. Malcolm says ‘you're either part of the solution, or you are part of the problem.’”

  “Who's Malcolm?”

  “Malcolm Rivera founded the Alliance. He’s smart and committed to giving us our country back.”

  Ko’s eyes twinkled as she talked about this Malcolm person. I wondered if he meant a little more to her than she let on. She made him sound like the next Messiah. And, what if the Alliance isn't the solution either? What then?

  “Any chance we can get my mother out of here, too?”

  “Tru, I can't promise it. It was hard enough to make arrangements for you and Zared.”

  “She's on her own?”

  Ko nodded. “I’m sorry, but Tru, you’ll soon learn all of us will have to choose sides. What's coming is bigger and more important than family ties.” Ko replaced her shades. We continued walking.

  Since when did a cause trump family? Nothing ever came before Ko’s family. Who filled her head with this nonsense? Asher? Malcolm?

  I wouldn’t participate in the Alliance’s war. Mom and Dad protected me from the senseless Street Wars. Families were split apart. Too many lives were lost. If this group of radicals advocated war, making amends should be on my agenda.

  “Ko, I need to see Mom.”

  “Don’t tell her anything, Tru.” She glared at me. “I'm serious about this. Trust is a commodity nowadays easily sold, and the Alliance is not sure with whom your mother's allegiance belongs.”

  Should I take comfort in the knowledge that a group of revolutionaries didn’t trust Mom either? What could I do to protect her? Didn’t she deserve that much from me? We arrived at the house and embraced.

  Ko whispered, “Don’t pay attention to what I’m about to say. I have to do it. Just play along.” She stepped back. “I’m sorry you refuse to cooperate. We need the SIM card. I hate losing you over such a stupid issue.”

  A performance for those who watched. I crossed my arms and tossed my hair off my shoulder. “They shouldn’t have put you up to it. I thought our friendship meant more to you. I guess I was wrong.”

  “I guess you were.” Ko saluted the tall, mahogany Riza guard at the door. She was dressed in their daunting black combat gear minus the helmet. “Private Woods?”

  She returned the gesture. “Yes, First Cadet Castaneda?”

  “Return the traitor to her room. I'll see you again at 1800 hours.” Ko saluted again, pivoted on her heel, and returned to the black car waiting for her.

  Ko didn’t realize it, but I meant what I said. Riza shouldn’t have sent my best friend to do their job.

  I didn’t have time to dwell on that, though. I should see Mom, but I had no idea what I would say without telling her about the plan. It just seemed unfair not to give her the opportunity to escape her
fate. She spent her life protecting me. And how did I repay her? By being a crappy daughter. I owed her the chance for freedom.

  I stopped outside her room. What if Ko was right? What if Mom couldn’t be trusted? If I told her too much, I’d put lives at risk. I had to do something.

  “Mom?” I peeked around the door. “Can I come in?”

  “Of course.” Mom sat on the sofa. “Long time, no see.”

  “I'm sorry about that.” I swallowed the lump in my throat. Mom wouldn’t make this easy. I couldn’t blame her. “I thought we needed a cooling-off period.”

  “I didn't.” Mom set her jaw. “I meant everything I said. I still do.”

  I sat next to her. “Let's not argue, Mom. I came to see how you were doing.”

  “The same as I've been every day.”

  Obviously, Mom was still mad at me. She had every right to be. I treated her unfairly. I sat with my hands in my lap. I wouldn’t let our last conversation be a negative one. I cleared my throat. “Have you made a decision about the ultimatum?”

  “I haven't. It's not like picking out a new outfit.”

  “I guess not.”

  “Besides, I can’t give what I don’t have.” Mom’s eyes flickered with sadness.

  Zared had the card, and we weren’t turning it over to his father. I choked down a sob. “Just do what’s right for you this time. You said that everything you've done so far was for me. Don't think about me. Don't think of Dad or even Cris.”

  “What are you talking about?”

  I squeezed my eyes shut. Don’t cry. I couldn’t cry. I opened my eyes and blew out a breath. “I get it, Mom. You’ve been trying to protect me. Well, all of us. For once, don’t think about anyone but yourself. Do whatever you need to do to live.”

  Mom squeezed my hand. Tears shone in her eyes. “There’s something I should have told you.”

  Now was not the time for more falsehood. “You don’t have to—”

  “Yes, I do. It’s about Zared and his father.”

  I’d had enough of sinister plans and negativity. I shook my head. “No. I’m not here to fight with you.”

  “I didn’t tell the truth about Kat.”

  What?

  “I lied about what happened between us. When I met Kat, I was with your uncle. He’d already agreed to marry me and raise you as his own. I didn’t mean for it to happen, but I fell in love with Kat. He didn’t care that I was pregnant. He said he’d take care of us, but I wouldn’t let him tear his family apart for me.”

  “Why were you so against my relationship with Zared?”

  “He’s not to blame. Zared looks so much like his father. I saw you two together, and it broke my heart. It reminded me of the choices we were forced to make.”

  What did I say after that? I got a confession I didn’t anticipate. She never once reached for her necklace. One more thing needed confirmation.

  “Mom, there’s a notebook…”

  She folded her hands in her lap. “Yes, the notebook… Cris’ mom kept a journal with her research. Before you asked me about a translation.”

  “Well, I had parts of it translated.”

  Mom’s eyes widened. “Tru, you didn’t.”

  “It’s fine, Mom. The translator thought it might be a book of clues to a game. Can you tell me who the ‘purveyors of logic’ are?”

  “It was Aya’s way of pointing out the program’s developers.”

  “And the key?”

  Mom patted my hand. “You’ve accessed the card. You’re the key.”

  I knew that. I just wanted confirmation. What I needed had nothing to do with the card, though. “Will you tell me how my biological father died?”

  She looked at me with watering eyes and told me a story I wished I never heard.

  “Your father was a good man. We had our issues. Sometimes he let problems bother him too much. That day something, I forget what, upset him. Tómas stormed out of the house. I knew where he was going, the one place he went when angry. The bar.”

  “So my father was…what? A drunk?”

  My mother’s posture sagged. “He wasn’t a drunk. He didn’t drink often.”

  “Just when he got upset?” My lip curled. “And how often was that?”

  My mother shrugged. “It took a lot to make him angry. When he left that day it was raining,” her voice cracked. “He was sober the last time I saw him. I got—”

  I jumped to my feet, forgetting my whole reason for coming to my mother’s room. “Eden spoke the truth? My father killed a whole family?”

  “It wasn’t like that,” she pleaded.

  I ran my hands through my hair. “How the hell you gonna paint it any other way, Mom?”

  “Tru!”

  “No! You don’t get to chastise me on this one. We lived with this woman. The whole time she hated us because of what he did. Did you not stop to think how she might feel? Hell, forget about Eden. How about me, Mom? Shouldn’t I have known about him?”

  My mother sat there twisting her hands in her lap.

  “Any other secrets you want to share right now, Mom? Am I an only child? Want to fill me in about other men—”

  “That. Is. Enough. Sit your ass down right now!”

  I didn’t ask for this conversation. I came to apologize and let her know I loved her. Instead, I got crapped on. Again. I’d had my fill of the unknown. “No, Mom. I can’t. I can’t listen to any more of your secrets or lies. I’ve had enough.”

  She opened her mouth and I held up my hand. I knew I’d regret it, but I couldn’t stay any longer.

  “Mom, I love you. I just…I can’t…I’ve got to go.”

  I opened the door and glanced over my shoulder. Mom wiped away her tears. “Everything I’ve ever done was because I love you, minha filha, my darling daughter.”

  I ran back to Zared’s room, collapsed on the bed, and let the tears fall. My chest ached. I was guilty of stupidity, stubbornness, and selfishness. Unfortunately, I inherited them from my mother. She wouldn’t tell anyone we had Intrepid. No matter what I said or did, nothing would change. Mom would commit the ultimate sacrifice just to protect me.

  “It is not cruel for man to act with savagery, if the end result is favorable.”

  —Jonathan L. Graves, leader, the American Republic

  Zared

  Why did Ko put me on the spot like that? Hard to fathom at one point in my life I found her interesting. Good thing we realized we weren’t meant to be. She was too bossy and straight-laced for me. She insisted on being completely upfront about everything. Ko liked to evaluate situations before determining the best course of action. My willingness to hide facts, let others take credit, and reap the benefits didn’t sit well with her. I didn’t know how Asher, a former surfer, put up with her.

  The three of us met in the Corps. Joining the Corps was my father’s idea. I never considered myself Riza material, too many rules and regulations. I put up with the meetings, the drills, and the dictatorship until my mother died. Then, my father abandoned me, and I abandoned the Corps. Last thing I needed back then was someone else acting like a surrogate parent.

  I remained friends with Asher after leaving the Corps. He helped me out while I lived on the streets—getting me a hot meal, offering me clean clothes. Of course, he tried recruiting me for the Alliance. The last thing I needed was another regimented group. Then the streets taught me a lesson. Fortunately, the Alliance saved me. Asher helped me out again teaching me the insider info about the group, and convincing our superiors to provide me a nice place to stay.

  It all came with a price, though. They’d help me avoid the police, if I helped them with their cause. I asked my superiors repeatedly what they wanted from me. They told me to be patient. And then, they learned about Intrepid. My debt needed settling. My experience on the streets served their purpose.

  Asher came around the corner before I opened the lab door. The camouflage fatigues, suntanned skin, and sun-bleached hair were at odds with each other.
I jerked my head toward the camera daggling from the ceiling in a corner. Asher gave a crisp nod.

  “Are you Zared?”

  “Who wants to know?” I held onto the doorknob.

  “Relax. Name's Asher.” He grinned lopsidedly and extended his hand.

  I accepted the gesture. “You're Riza?”

  “You got it. I work in surveillance. You're reassigned to my department. Follow me.”

  Asher led me into a narrow room with monitors on one wall and two comfortable chairs.

  “We see every inch of this island on these monitors. Nothing gets past us. This way.”

  Asher opened a door to a smaller room. There were large touch screens on three walls—the servers for all of the island's computers. He closed the door behind us, walked up to a small touch screen on a stand, entered some information, and faced me.

  “I just disabled surveillance for this room. It’ll show up as a temporary glitch in the system. We've got about three minutes to talk.”

  “Man, it’s good to see you.” We slapped hands and fist bumped.

  “Same here, dude.”

  “What’s up?” I leaned against the door.

  “You're with me for the rest of the day. I told your father we were having computer difficulty leaving us open to attack. He said you knew computers. That's why you're here.”

  “What about Tru?”

  “Chill.” He shook his head. “You'll return to your room at 1700 hours. Meet up with Sherman. Do you know about the boat?”

  “No.”

  “Just stick with Sherm. He'll take you and your girl to the old museum near the water. I'll meet you onboard. Understood?”

  “Yeah.”

  Asher’s brow wrinkled. “Did you complete your task?”

  “I did.”

  He ran his hand across the touch screen. “And the girl?”

  “What about her?” I rubbed the back of my neck. I didn’t like all the questions.

  “Does she know about you?”

  “What’s with all the questions, Asher?”

  “I’m just making sure there aren’t any loose ends.” He stuffed his hands in his pockets.

  “Huh?”

  “Malcolm’s not happy with you. I’m supposed to report to him.”