Regress (The Alliance Chronicles Book 1)

by SF Benson

  I had another question. “Who will be at the meeting?”

  “Zared and his father, of course. Asher will be his backup on the inside. Faction soldiers will be on the perimeter. I’m Asher’s backup.”

  “I want to go, too,” I said.

  “No,” said Zared. “Not a good idea, Tru.”

  “Are you prepared for this meeting?” I asked.

  “What do mean, Tru?” Ko’s eyebrows furrowed briefly.

  “I don’t trust Katsuo. He won’t allow Z to walk out of there with Intrepid. You know that, right?” They were all Riza trained, yet the Creative in the room put the puzzle together.

  “He wouldn’t—” Zared rubbed his forehead.

  “Don’t be stupid, Z. C’mon, either he had someone kill your mother or he did it himself. He would have killed my mother. If you give him an ultimatum, he won’t hesitate to execute you as well.”

  “I hadn’t—”

  “You hadn’t thought about it.” I put my hands up. “Damn it, Z. I can’t lose you, too. You go in there prepared. If you have to, you take him out first. Don’t trust him for a minute. Ko, you need a better plan.”

  Asher rubbed the back of his neck. “Sorry, Tru. I didn’t think twice that this could be a trap.”

  “Are all of you so dense?” I looked at Zared. “Did you tell them what happened?”

  He shook his head. Unbelievable! “Z and Malcolm had a fight…”

  “Tru, I got it.” He rubbed my shoulder. “Malcolm said he’d never forget it. If I walk into that meeting, I’m a dead man.”

  Ko interjected. “What makes you think you were walking in there unprotected?”

  I jumped to my feet.

  “Sit down, Tru,” said Ko. “Zared will wear combat gear. We’ll replace the card with a dummy card. Zared, you can load some of the details about Intrepid onto it. We won’t wait for the meeting to be over. Intrepid goes live right away.”

  “Ko, I want in.” He wouldn’t do this without me.

  “No. If anything should go wrong inside, we need you to hold on to Intrepid. I’ll give you an address of an Ubernet café. You’ll upload Intrepid should Katsuo not agree and Asher is unable to carry out the mission.”

  “And whose idea was that?” I slouched in my seat, folding my arms.

  “They’re Malcolm’s orders. No negotiating.”

  “Fine.” Now my so-called best friend wanted to treat me like a child. I pushed away from the table, knocking over the chair. I kicked it out of my way and stormed into the house.

  Seconds later, Asher followed me inside. He closed the sliding door behind him.

  “Hey Tru, can we talk for a minute?”

  I turned away from the window. “Sure. I don’t think we’ve been introduced.”

  “No, we haven’t, but Ko talks about you so much that I feel like I already know you.”

  I gazed at him. Asher seemed like a nice guy. “What did you want to talk about?”

  “I wanted you to know…um…how sorry I am about your mom…your family. I’ve been in your shoes. I know how hard it is.”

  “Nobody knows how hard it is.” I plopped on the sofa.

  He sat next to me. “You’re wrong. I do know. I lost my whole family during the Street Wars.”

  I stared at the floor. I didn’t see that one coming. “Sorry.”

  He shrugged. “No need to be. I’ve sort of made my peace with it all.”

  “How?”

  “It takes time.”

  “Don’t give me that BS about time fixing things,” I snapped. “Time can’t fix my life. It can’t bring back my family. It just reminds me of what I’ve lost.”

  “Time will take the edge off.”

  “Can it help me forget?” My voice wavered as I pressed a hand over my heart. “Forget all this pain?”

  “No. You never forget. You learn to cope. You learn to move on.”

  “I don’t know how to do that, Asher.” I bent over and clutched my stomach.

  He exhaled. “I still think about my brother Shiloh. He was with the old National Guard back during the Street Wars. His unit was called up in the middle of the night. The crowds on the streets had gotten worse. People had been fighting for days. The police couldn’t hold them off. Shiloh’s unit was supposed to help control the crowd. The crowd slaughtered his entire unit.

  “I was a kid. The hot night woke me up. I looked out my window and saw fires burning around us. People shouted. Dad told me to stay indoors, but I didn’t listen. My parents ran out the house. Dad screamed for Mom to come inside, but she wouldn’t. The bodies of the unit were dragged through the streets. Mom shouted for them to stop. She wanted to give Shiloh a proper burial.

  “Someone hit Mom with a rock. She crumpled. I didn’t realize Dad had his rifle. He raised it. Someone shot him first. You know, people just stepped right over him like trash. Lost my entire family that night.”

  I gasped. Asher’s story was incredible. “How did you survive that?”

  “Don’t know. I didn’t make my move until daybreak. For some reason, you know, the fighting wasn’t as bad during the day. Plus, I guess being a kid kept me safe. I ran to my grandparent’s house. They took care of me. But I…I…um… never forgot what happened.”

  “And now you’re military.”

  “I needed Riza. My grandparents didn’t want me to join. You know, they didn’t want to lose their only grandkid. But I joined to serve a purpose.”

  “Let me guess, it wasn’t to serve your country.”

  “Hell no! If we didn’t have corrupt, weak-minded politicians, the Street Wars wouldn’t have happened. My country didn’t serve my family. Riza gave me the tools I needed. Becoming part of the Alliance is about justice.”

  I leaned against the sofa cushion. I would have never imagined anybody living through the shit he lived through. Asher reminded me of Zared. They were both strong guys who had rough lives. Their friendship was obvious—similar mannerisms, speech.

  “You might just understand.”

  “Better than you think.” His shoulder bumped mine. “I spent a long time, like, not feeling anything. My grandparents tried. They got me some help, but I didn’t accept it. You know, I thought I was being the good soldier my brother would have expected me to be. I wouldn’t cry. I wouldn’t even talk about my family. I slept with their picture under my pillow. I was pretty screwed up for a while. It took a run in with the law to straighten me out.”

  “I’m not screwed up, Asher. I’m in horrendous pain. It’s like someone dumped a bucket of water on sand. It’s seeping into my very core. It’s changing who I am, and I don’t like it. I can’t deal with it. Not now.”

  He squeezed my hand. “That’s okay, too. In time, though, you will have to deal with it.”

  “Maybe.”

  “No. You will. Talk to Ko or—”

  I faced him. “When I need to talk, will you be around? I’d rather talk to someone who understands.”

  “I think Ko—”

  “No.” I shook my head. “She thinks she does.”

  “What about Z?”

  “He means well. He wants to fix it. He can’t. No one can do that. I’m on my own.”

  He put an arm around my shoulders.

  “You’re not on your own. If I can help you, I’m here.”

  I put my head on his shoulder. “Thank you. I need to stay strong, Asher. Just stay in my corner, please.”

  He reached into his jeans pocket and pulled out the SIM card, pressing it into my palm. “It’s yours now. If anything happens to me tomorrow, we trust you to get this uploaded.”

  I fingered the card. “Who would have thought such a little thing would cause so much trouble? Don’t worry. I know what I have to do.”

  “Any Nation that pursues human genetic and reproductive technologies must develop solutions that will 1) eradicate deadly disease, 2) effectively extend quality life spans, and 3) create better pharmaceuticals. No technology should disrupt genetic diversity,
create adversity for any group in society, or subjugate any people to injustice.”

  —UN Worldwide Genetic Engineering Advisory Board, 2020

  My emotions brewed under the surface like a volcano waiting to erupt. I struggled to keep a lid on it. Letting them come to the surface could subject everyone around me to a hell no one should live through. Too much had happened to me in such a short time. Everyone waited for my grief to gush forth like an uncapped oil well. Not happening. I kept pushing it down. It was the only way to cope. Thank God for Asher. He understood. I envied him. He’d been through hell and back and survived.

  Being around Zared had become painful. I was grateful I had him in my life, but watching him struggle with me was hard. He wanted to fix my problems, make me whole again. But I was shattered, and there were pieces missing. No one could put me back together. Ever. Again.

  Part of me just wanted to embrace Zared and love him. Part of me blamed him for putting me in this situation, but it wasn’t his fault. I agreed to help him. Besides, he didn’t tell my mother to weave her web of lies. No. It was deception. It was secrets. Those things put me in this situation. Let’s be fair. It was my own refusal to look past the dishonesty. Things may have been different if I didn’t feel the need to confront my mother about her past. No. Things would have been different if I had never accessed the SIM card. I caused my own problems.

  Zared believed the answer to everything was to run away. I’m sure, to him, it sounded like the perfect solution. Run off to Canada. Live each day in ignorant bliss. I had the feeling it was something he wanted desperately like a man in the Sahara wanting water. But that was no life for a Creative, for me.

  No. I wanted—no needed—justice for my family. And that meant becoming an operative for the Alliance. I would risk my life, my safety to fight for them and anyone else who needed justice.

  But Ko wouldn’t allow me to do anything until she thought I’d healed. I’d do what was expected of me. If Zared wanted to spend time with me in Canada, we’d take a week or two and just exist. Because that’s what people wanted me to do.

  “Hey, there you are.” Zared walked out on the porch. “Aren’t you, uh, cold?”

  “Not really.”

  He came up behind me. Zared wrapped his arms around my waist and kissed my neck. “You okay?”

  “I’m fine, Z.” How many times would he ask me that?

  “So the meeting is in the morning. Ko talked to Malcolm. And he’s agreed to give us some down time.”

  “Good.”

  “We have safe transport to anywhere you want to go.”

  “We can stay here.” I rubbed his arms. “No need to go anywhere else.”

  “Sure. Anything you want.”

  Zared needed to stop saying whatever he thought I wanted or needed to hear. Perhaps some down time would be good for us. We both needed to come to terms with this new me. The girl who let people keep her in the dark was history. Would he love the new version? I didn’t even know if I liked her yet.

  “Trust no one, not even me.”

  —Malcolm Rivera, leader, The Alliance

  Zared

  The four of us spent the rest of the night preparing for the meeting. I handled making a bogus copy of the SIM card. Tru would keep the original and take it to an Ubernet café to upload. Ko gathered her troops. She went over different scenarios with Asher and their reinforcements.

  We were ready to do battle with the monster I called dad. Everyone had his or her plans, but the massive knot in my stomach refused to budge. I needed to spend time with Tru. I found her on the back porch. Again.

  “Hey.” I put my arms around her waist. “I’m starting to worry about you being out in the open all the time.”

  She leaned into my chest. “It’s not a problem, Z.”

  “What’s on your mind?”

  “It might be nice to have some time to ourselves. You and I. No missions. No responsibility.” She sounded disingenuous. Was she saying what she thought I wanted to hear?

  “Are you being serious?”

  “Yes. I am.” She forced a smile on her face. “Everything ready for tomorrow?”

  “It is.” Why did she feel the need to lie to me?

  Tru turned around and kissed me. It was a long, hard kiss full of desperation and sorrow. If I didn’t know better, it felt like a good-bye kiss.

  I hugged her tight. “What was that for?”

  “Just because. I want you to stop worrying about me. I’ll be fine as long as I have you.”

  “You’ll always have me. Y’know, I’m not going anywhere ever.”

  “That’s good to know.”

  “No, I’m serious. You’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me. I love you, Tru Shepard.”

  “I love you, too.”

  Morning came too soon for a guy who didn’t sleep much. Thoughts of the meeting plagued me all night. It pissed me off that Malcolm and my father wanted me dead. I mattered so little to either of them. When I wasn’t thinking about it, I thought about the conversation I had with Tru. She neither slept nor talked. She wanted to be held all night. She said not to worry about her, but I couldn’t help it. I loved her. It hurt seeing her in such agony.

  Tru left the safe house first headed to the Ubernet café. The rest of us piled into separate vehicles. I rode with two faction soldiers. I took in the Windsor landscape as we passed green spaces, quaint shops, and places to live. I rolled down the window and listened to birds singing. It reminded me of New Detroit before the Street Wars. No burnt out buildings or dilapidated structures. Tru and I would enjoy exploring the area. We could make our home here.

  The driver pulled off Ouellette Avenue onto a gravel covered parking area. The brick building housing the gun range seemed abandoned. Alliance team members in combat gear were on the roof and scattered around the building. It was quiet. No birds sang. I guessed they sensed the danger in the air. Ko and Asher stood behind one of the vehicles. I walked over to them.

  Ko gave orders to a couple of soldiers who stood on the other side of the vehicle. “Listen up. Here’s the plan. Asher and a team of sharpshooters will protect the perimeter. We have a team on the roof.” She acknowledged me. “It’s about time. You’re going in with two soldiers. You are not to go in alone. I’m going in with the rear team. Everyone ready.”

  “Ko, can I have a minute?”

  She squeezed Asher’s hand. He left with the rest of the team. “What’s up?”

  I shrugged. “Did you see Tru this morning?”

  “No.” She frowned. “Should we be worried?”

  “To be honest? I don’t know. She seemed distant last night.”

  Ko sighed heavily. “This phase is almost over. You two take as much time as you need. I think that’s what Tru needs.”

  “I sure hope so. I’m worried about her.”

  Ko touched my arm. “I can’t be worried about you in there. I need you to focus. We’ll get Tru whatever she needs after this. Okay?”

  “I’m good. Let’s go do this.” I nodded toward the soldiers waiting for me. We walked in single file with me in the middle.

  My father sat at a table flanked by Riza. I stepped out and faced the man.

  “It’s good to see you, Zared.”

  “I wish I could say the same.” I clenched my jaw.

  “Please sit.” He held his hand out and pointed to a chair. “Let’s talk.”

  “I’d prefer to stand.” I thought about the lives lost to protect his secrets. Now I had a better grasp on Tru’s obsession with honesty. Sometimes dishonesty costs people their lives. Tru saw it as a black and white scenario. She failed, however, to see the shades of gray. But, when it came to my father, it was clear. He caused her pain. I wouldn’t allow him to inflict any more on anyone else. “How about you start with why Eden killed Tru’s mother?”

  My father shrugged half-heartedly. “An unfortunate incident. I’m not privy to Eden’s reasons, but remember, Gabriela was a traitor. It is not acceptable to
revolt against the government. Where would we be if we allowed everyone to rise up?”

  “She wasn’t going anywhere.”

  He frowned. “I thought that about you, and look what happened.”

  “Y’know, I couldn’t live like a bug under a microscope. Thanks to you, I don’t care to be confined.”

  “Are you still blaming me?” My father settled back in his chair with his hand resting on the table. “I told you I could not allow you to be used. I was protecting you.”

  I slammed my fist onto the table. “I didn’t need protection.” Part of me still wanted to hear him say he cared about me. Ridiculous. He wouldn’t say it. Get over it.

  “You’ve never known what you needed. If you did, you wouldn’t have gotten involved with the Shepard girl.”

  “That’s where you’re wrong, Dad. Tru is exactly what I need in my life.”

  “Son—”

  “Stop calling me that! You lost the right to call me your son when you abandoned me.”

  “Zared, I am your father—”

  “No, you’re not. Fathers don’t leave their children alone. Do you realize you haven’t once asked me how I survived? Do you even care what I went through?”

  My father drummed his fingers on the table.

  “Y’know, I’ve dealt with deviants and people who would’ve killed me on a daily basis, and where were you? Huh? Where were you, Dad?”

  My father stood clenching his jaw. “I didn’t come here to be verbally assaulted. I think we’re done.”

  “Not so fast.” I leaned over the table. “You’re not walking back through those doors without an understanding.”

  “And what would that be?”

  “You’re done, Dr. Aoki. No more experiments. We need your resignation from the CHA as well.”

  My father laughed. “I don’t think so. You don’t have the power to control me.”

  “Yeah, I do. We have Intrepid. And it goes live if you don’t cooperate.”

  “You’re assuming you’re walking out of here alive.” My father motioned to his soldiers who pointed their weapons at me. So, Tru was right. A lump formed in my throat. Would he have them kill me?