Lost Prince

by M. A. Roth

  I don’t reply because I can see his point.

  “We wait for Avitus to arrive; he should be here by morning.” Mirium looks at me than. “So we all need rest.”

  I don’t feel like sleeping but Morrick gives me a stern look. “You will share the room with Alana. Place a chair under the door so no one can get in.”

  “Will you stay here with Mirium, for… you know, protection?” I ask, feeling a little guilty about putting more stress on Morrick. But Morrick glares at me as if I should not be still standing here.

  “Do you care, Sarajane?”

  Jesus, he was in a bad mood. “No, I don’t, actually.” I slam the door as I leave and enter the next room. Alana is already getting undressed for bed.

  “We can share the bed,” she says, while pulling off her trousers. She doesn’t meet my eye as she climbs into it. I place a chair under the door handle and strip down to just my shirt. The bed is only a single, but both of us manage to squeeze in. I lie on my side, studying my hands. The marks from Suraga… I can see all the swirls now, just like hers, except mine aren’t gold. “Alana, I am sorry I didn’t tell you about Suraga.”

  Alana turns to me, and I grip the bedframe so I don’t fall out. “I offered you a friendship, yet you lie to me.” I had never seen such hurt before in Alana’s eyes.

  “I’m sorry. It’s just...”

  Alana climbs out of the bed. She keeps her back to me, her shoulders are hunched over as she speaks. “Sorry? You throw that word around, yet you don’t understand the meaning of it. It might work on Tristan or your family. Bat your eyelids at the world, Sarajane, they might believe your lies.” Alana’s voice lowers.

  I lie frozen in the bed, numbed by her anger and her words.

  “You have to earn someone’s trust. You had mine. Now it’s lost.”

  “There is more to this, Alana. This is not because of Suraga.” It couldn’t be.

  “Or Carew, or Tristan or whatever else you have lied about. Look at what you have done. Neve is dead, Kiar is destroyed, and then you take our next king away from the throne.” Alana pauses. “Is that enough for you, princess?”

  I get out of the bed, shocked at how vicious and poisonous her words are. “What the hell do you mean about Tristan? I would never take him from his throne. And Neve…” I can’t finish that sentence. I have never felt so angry or hurt. “How dare you blame me for all that? Neve was not my fault.” Tears sting my eyes, because deep down I blamed myself. I just didn’t need anyone else blaming me too. “I didn’t want to hurt Kiar. If I could, I would change things.” My vision blurs but I swallow my sorrow. “But I can’t. I know you have lost so much, Alana, and you had a shitty life, but don’t throw it in my face.”

  I lie down, my body stiff with anger and hurt. I don’t hear Alana move from where she stands and I don’t turn to see what she is doing. Tears stream from the corners of my eyes and I cry soundlessly, because her words have so much truth in them. I had kept so much hidden but for all the right reasons or so I thought.

  The earth is shaking and I can smell smoke. I reach out my hand to steady myself and fall out of the bed, the shock jolts me awake.

  “Sarajane, come on.” Alana reaches for me and grabs my hand. Smoke is everywhere in the room. Someone is trying to break down the door. I shield my face as the door splinters and comes crashing into the room. Tristan and Legis race toward us.

  “Put this around your mouth.” Tristan hands me a damp cloth. I push it against my mouth; the air doesn’t taste quite as smoky. Then a cloak is wrapped tightly around me. I can feel the dampness of it against my skin.

  Tristan pushes the hood up and grabs my hand. “Don’t let my hand go no matter what.” I squint up at him, but the smoke is too thick to see him properly. My eyes water and sting as he leads us out of the room.

  The corridors are full of panicked people screaming, trying to get out of the building. The smoke grows almost blinding as we pass a window in the hall. I stop to try to get a lungful of air but start to cough instead. Red blurs my vision. I squint. One of the main gates is on fire.

  “Sarajane!” Tristan tugs on my hand to make me move. We run down a flight of stairs that creak as we descend. I lay my hand on the wall to help me steady myself. Once we get outside, the smoke isn’t as thick.

  Our building is right beside the main gate, and the wind is carrying the flames onto the roof. We race down the alleyway and come face-to-face with the chaos. Some of the Saskians had gotten in and are in battle with Humus’ soldiers. Some of the people are trying to put out the fire, more people are running away from the chaos. Their fear has them nearly stepping on each other. Tristan pulls me in the opposite direction.

  The smoke is gone so I remove the cloth, but my eyes sting badly and my sides are sore from coughing.

  We come to a building with a large wooden door. It’s lightly made and I can see through the crack, it looks like some workshop. Tristan breaks the lock with a stone and pulls me inside. It’s a blacksmith’s workplace. In the corner is a large furnace, but it isn’t lit. A large work table holds all different types of tools. Some I recognize and some I don’t.

  Before I can look any more, Tristan tugs my arm again. “Over here.” He points to under a work bench. “Hide in here until I get back.”

  “What? No! I am not staying here by myself.” I hadn’t thought until then to wonder what had happened to the others.

  Tristan holds my arms gently “Please. I will come back for you. I need to help them first.” He holds my face, before placing a soft kiss on my lips. I don’t answer him but get down and crawl under the table while wrapping my damp cloak around me.

  Tristan kneels down and pulls my hood up more. “Keep your hood up so the black all blends in. Nobody will find you here. I will be back soon.” His promise has me nodding and he gets up and leaves. The door closes and I hold still. I’m not sure how much time passes as I wait for Tristan to return but it feels like forever. I began to shake from the cold. My shirt doesn’t cover much and the damp cloak is seeping into my bones. But my eyes have stopped streaming with tears. I want to cough, but I hold it in afraid of alerting anyone.

  The creak of the door has my heart racing and footsteps sound loud in the space. The footsteps are heavy and I hold still. It isn’t Tristan.

  “Come out, come out, wherever you are.” I don’t recognize the voice, but it’s gruff.

  I hold my breath and try to stay still, as my heart kicks up faster with fear. I can see the man’s legs. He is wearing black trousers and boots, so he was a Saskian.

  “I can smell you,” he whispers.

  Dread curls around my spine. He stops moving and my heart beat roars so loudly that I fear he can hear it. He jumps down and his face is in front of me. I scream and lash out on instinct, punching him in the face. The blow is unexpected and he stumbles back. I crawl out on my hands and knees to get away from him. My legs are yanked out and I hit the concrete floor, banging my head. Dizziness rushes through me. I try to kick his hand off but he grabs my other leg.

  “Don’t fight. I won’t hurt you.” He flips me over, still gripping my bare ankles; there is a nasty smile on his face. I stop moving and stay still. “Good girl.” His grip loosens on my legs. It’s now or never. I get one leg free and kick him in the face with all my strength.

  “You bitch!” he roars as he spits out blood and a tooth.

  I get up quickly and race to the work bench, grabbing the first thing my hand falls on – a hammer, and back away from him. “Come any closer and I will kill you.” My voice shakes uncontrollably.

  He doesn’t seem to hear me, as he charges with anger. I close my eyes and swing the hammer, feeling physically sick when I hear his arm shatter. He roars in agony. My eyes shoot open. He holds a sword in his other hand and swings it with his last bit of strength as he falls. The blade connects with my thigh and pain burns through me as I crumble to the ground. Some wild animal is screaming in the corner and I want it to shut up, I reali
ze it’s me as I hold my leg to try to slow down the bleeding. The dizziness of blood loss makes me light-headed. Too much blood is rushing from my leg. I hold it with both of my hands, my hands are painted red in no time.

  The Saskian is getting up, using his sword like a crutch to help him stand, his other arm just hangs loosely, but every movement makes him cry out. Still, he raises his sword to strike me again. I know I have no chance. He is going to kill me. The weakness in my body leaves me paralyzed to the spot and the corner of my vision is tinged with darkness.

  “Please?” I beg, but I don’t think he can’t hear me. I raise my hand as if it might stop the blow of the sword. A roar erupts behind me and I know the voice. Some part of me cries as warm flecks of the Saskian’s blood splatters across my face as I pass out.

  “Dad,” I say as he walks toward me through a white fog. He doesn’t look tired any more. His face is fresh and clean; a large smile greets me, along with a warm embrace. “Oh, sweetheart, I missed you so much.”

  Tears blur my vision. “Dad, is it really you?”

  He wipes the tears away. He isn’t wearing his glasses. “Yes, it is me, but we don’t have much time.”

  I look around, feeling confused. I can’t see beyond us. “Where are we?”

  He just smiles. “You always ask so many questions, even as a child.” He laughs at the memory. “But that doesn’t matter now. There is something I must tell you. Our time is short.” What did he mean, short? I only just got here. And where were his glasses? I didn’t know why this was bothering me so much.

  “Dad… your glasses… where are they?”

  He’s moving away. His mouth is moving but I can’t hear him. “Dad!” I scream. I can’t lose him.

  “Dad!”

  His mouth forms a name at the end of his sentence.

  Carew… I think he is saying Carew.

  “Sarajane…” my name is being called behind me. I turn around the white clouds are gone. I fall into blackness, screaming.

  I sit bolt upright.

  “Sarajane,” Alana pushes me back down. “It was just a nightmare. You’re safe now.”

  My leg and head are throbbing. The memory of the Saskian man comes back to me, his blood on my face. “Is he dead?” I asked Alana as I lie back down.

  “Yes, and the gate has being sealed. The rest retreated back out.” She rubs my hand. “So you are safe.” When I look at Alana I can see the strain on her face. “Is someone else hurt?” I ask in alarm not able to bear the loss of anyone else.

  “No, just you, and that was enough. Morrick is at his wit’s end. Sarajane, I’m sorry about what I said the other night. I was horrible, and frightened. I just was afraid. But the thought of losing you...”

  I squeeze Alana’s hand. “It’s fine. I said some horrible stuff too…” I trail off. “I promise I will never keep anything from you again.”

  Alana squeezes my hand back, a smile on her face. Before she stands, she gives me a gentle hug. “I better let them know you are awake.” She pauses at the door. “Kiar sat with you for a few hours.” This seems unbelievable to me. “Just thought you should know,” she says before she disappears out the door.

  I wonder, had Kiar forgiven me for Neve? Hope surges in my heart. Then the dream of my dad comes back to me he looked so happy and it felt so real, a tear slides out from the corner of my eye.

  CHAPTER NINE

  SARAJANE

  Morrick and Alana come to visit me every day. I am healing quickly. Thank God for being partially immortal. I will be fully healed in one more day, so the nurse informed me. But I don’t understand why I still have to lie here when I feel fine.

  “You lost a lot of blood, dear,” the nurse says, while she pats me gently before checking my temperature and heart rate.

  She gives a little chuckle after she’s satisfied I’m fine and leaves to check on her other patients. A few wounded soldiers were brought in on the first night, but like me they are healing fast. It would take a lethal blow or a lot of blood loss for us to die. We’re not invincible.

  Morrick’s form moves down the aisle, the silence in the space is heavy as every eye turns to him. He stops at my bed and I try not to shift as he sits down.

  “How do you feel today?”

  It feels awkward with him trying to be like a father.

  “Yeah, fine. Morrick, you don’t have to be here,” I say to save both of us the uncomfortable silence that will follow soon, as it has the past two days at each of his visits.

  He shifts in his chair. “Well, it is only a quick visit. I have a few things to do.”

  I fluff my pillows to get more comfortable. Morrick tries to help me straighten them, but his movements are awkward. “Morrick, it’s fine. I can do it.”

  He sits back down at my irritated voice. “You could at least try, Sarajane,” Morrick speaks low his gaze hard.

  I look at the hurt expression on his face. “What do you mean?” I ask, but not wanting this conversation.

  “I am your father. I am not asking you to call me that, but try to make this work. It would be nice.”

  I fold my arms across my chest, thinking of John. I will never betray him. “No, I will never call you father, Morrick, and I am sociable with you. I can’t give you any more right now.” I look away from his eyes. They remind me too much of mine, and I hate him for that. It makes me feel like he has a say over who I am.

  “Okay.” He bobs his head and I’m not sure what passes his eyes but he shuts down on me. Whatever bond he was trying to create is now gone and I see a king. “Avitus is back so he will start your training tomorrow. Once you are released, you will stay with him for a few days.”

  I look at Morrick and tighten my jaw. “What… just pass me from Billy to Bob? I don’t know these people, Morrick.” I let out an irritated breath, knowing from the look on Morrick’s face that this has already been decided and no matter what I say it wouldn’t help.

  Alana arrives, and relief fills Morrick’s face.

  “Alana.” He stands up and offers her the spot he just vacated. He pauses at the bottom of my bed before leaving. “I will see you in the morning.”

  I don’t answer him and he doesn’t wait on a reply; I watch him leave, everyone does.

  Alana pokes me in the side, a smile on her face. “Grumpy, I see. That means you are nearly better.”

  “He rubs me up the wrong way.” I smile at Alana, delighted to see her. “Has Kiar said anything about me?” I really wanted to ask about why Tristan had never come to see me, but I am afraid of the answer.

  “Yes, he is happy you’re feeling better.” She squeezes my hand, knowing what this means to me.

  We chat on for a while, but I start to feel exhausted and the nurse gets Alana to leave. She gives me a hug and brushes my hair back. “See you later, Princess,” she whispers as I drift off, smiling at her words.

  ***

  The next day I get discharged. I am fully healed. A long white scar down my thigh is the only sign of what happened. The nurse explained that scars don’t disappear.

  Alana is waiting for me outside. “Good to see you on your feet,” she says, as she links her arm with mine.

  I look around for Tristan. I really thought he would arrive today, but there is no sign of him. “So where are we going?” I ask as we pass the buildings that we had stayed in the night of the fire.

  I look up. My mouth drops open at the sight of the building. It’s a shell, completely burnt out.

  “I know… we are lucky nobody died,” Alana says, looking up at the building too. “I am taking you to Avitus’ now. Morrick thinks you being away from the main buildings will keep you safer.”

  I roll my eyes. “It’s just to keep me hidden.” I put on Morrick’s voice. “I am a disgrace to him.”

  Alana laughs. “No princess, you are not.”

  We move through the crowded city. The buildings are crammed tightly together, and the streets are full of people trying to get by each other. It nearly
feels claustrophobic. A market is in full swing on a wider street that we pass. Sellers shout out for people to buy their goods. I don’t get to look around, as Alana drags me along. The further we go, the more space there is around us.

  “Is it much further?” I ask, afraid I won’t find my way back.

  She smiles. “We’re here.”

  We stop outside a white building that three stories tall. All the blue shutters on the windows are pushed open, letting the warm breeze in. Alana pushes a wooden half door open and we climbed about twenty steps, which are carved out of gray stone. I count them as my leg feels heavy and I’m aware every time I have to lift it. It has healed, but the muscle must have been weakened. When we reach the top of the concrete stairs, an archway with no door brings us into a lightly furnished room. Two chairs sit at either end of the room and a large brownish rug covers most of the floor, a fireplace is to the left of us, unlit, and that’s it. The walls are painted white, some of the paint peeling off in the corner of the room.

  “Sir Avitus!” Alana calls, her arm is still linked with mine. I smile at the “Sir” part and Alana gives me a smile back. She calls again. “Sir…” but a voice comes back before she gets to finish her sentence.

  “Just take a seat. I will be with you shortly.”

  We both sit beside each other and wait for Avitus to arrive. He takes his sweet time.

  “What is he doing?” I whisper to Alana.

  “Organizing your room, Sarajane.”

  I look up at Avitus; he is not what I had expected. I thought this guy would be young, about in his forties, for some reason. But he is really small, and really old. He gives me and Alana an assessing look.

  “You are not what I expected,” I say to him. Then I feel like kicking myself.

  He smiles at me. “You are not what I expected either,” he says back.

  Alana clears her throat. “Sir Avitus, Morrick asked me to escort Sarajane here for her training.”

  He bows his head in a ‘thank you’ gesture to Alana. “Will be all right making your way back?”