The Mallow Marsh Monster

by Gary Ghislain

“Bitten, huh?” Ilona asked, looking down at me. “Does the journal say it left tiny little holes on her skin? Holes that oozed black goo?”

  “Yes,” her dad confirmed, looking at her curiously.

  “And then magically disappeared?”

  “Correct.”

  “Then, she started to avoid daylight?”

  “Did you read this already?” he asked, turning the pages as she spoke and nodding as the journal confirmed each symptom.

  “So she got all kinds of weird and really strong and started to eat enormous amounts of food?”

  “That’s right!” the twins said.

  “She was eating and eating.”

  “And she said she was as hungry—”

  “As a wolf !”

  I stopped chewing my fifth cookie and forced myself to put what was left of it down on the table.

  Frank Goolz went back to the journal. “He wrote that she became incredibly ravenous, and then very sick. He knew her illness was caused by the slug bite. He describes how he was working on an antidote. And then the journal ends abruptly.” He slammed it shut. “How do you know all this, Ilona?”

  “I know because it’s happening to Harold.”

  Uncle Jerry wiped his fingers on his Hawaiian shirt. He looked at me with something other than suspicion for the first time since I’d met him. “What’s happening exactly?”

  “Something terribly wrong,” Ilona told them.

  “You all right, buddy?” Frank Goolz asked me softly.

  I tried to answer, but with all the cookie mush in my mouth it came out as gibberish.

  “He was bitten by the monster last night,” Ilona piped up. “Just like Mrs. Farrell was bitten by that slug. And now, he can’t stand the sunlight. He has developed superspeed…” She picked up the half-eaten cookie I’d abandoned on the table and held it out as evidence. “He’s eating buckets of food.” She dropped the cookie back on the table. “AND he’s growing a new set of teeth!”

  “More like fangs,” I mumbled, then painfully swal-lowed the rest of the cookie. My throat was tightening. I knew exactly what Ilona was trying to tell them.

  “Wait a second!” Suzie bounded into the kitchen. “You mean Harold is turning into a monster?!”

  “Interesting.” Frank Goolz put Mr. Farrell’s journal down on the counter and came to squat in front of me. “Can I take a look?”

  I opened my mouth wide and tilted my head back. All three Goolz plus Uncle Jerry and the twins peered into my mouth.

  “I can’t see a thing,” Uncle Jerry said. He fished a tiny penlight out of his shirt pocket. Frank Goolz took it and lit the inside of my mouth.

  I ran my finger over my gums to clear away any cookie crumbs. “Yo shee shem?”

  I removed my finger and Frank Goolz went in for a second exploration with the penlight. “Yes, Harold. I see them very well.”

  “Boy, they’re wonderful!” Uncle Jerry marveled. He took a napkin from his breast pocket, bit it nearly in half, and sucked it in like spaghetti.

  Suzie pushed against her father. “Let me see! Let me see!” She took a good long look. “Woooooowwwww,” she said finally. “He’s going full Herman.”

  I closed my mouth. The show was over. “Who’s Herman?” I asked, grabbing another cookie from the plate.

  “He’s a German guy who transformed into a giant lizard. He escaped into the Berlin sewage system. He’s still down there, as far as we know. Right, Dad?”

  “Hmm.” Frank Goolz gave the penlight back to Uncle Jerry and scratched his unshaven chin.

  Ilona glared at Suzie. “He is not going full Herman.” She put her hand on my shoulder and looked me right in the eye. “You don’t have to worry about that, Harold. We won’t let it happen.”

  The twins looked at each other and then back at me.

  “Herman?”

  “Harold?”

  “New teeth?”

  “We don’t get it,” they said.

  “It’s quite simple.” Suzie pointed at the foot. “Your mother was bitten. She went full Herman.” She pointed at me. “Then she bit Harold. He’s going full Herman.”

  The twins still looked perplexed so I simplified it for them: “Your mother is the Mallow Marsh Monster. And I’m going to be one too.”

  “And if she bit your dad yesterday, so will he, wherever he is.” Ilona looked down at Ed Farrell’s empty clothes. We all did.

  “No.”

  “It’s impossible.”

  “Mom is not a monster.”

  “She’d never attack us.”

  “Or Dad.”

  “She loves us.”

  “You’re right,” I said, suddenly getting it. “She loves you. That’s why she keeps coming back for you.”

  “I’ll be back for you,” Ilona said. “She’s the one who carved that in the pickup truck before she finished her transformation.”

  “Of course!” Uncle Jerry boomed, chewed-up napkin spraying from his mouth. “It wasn’t the monster shape-shifting into a human to lure your mother. It was your mother turning into a monster. That explains that boneless foot.” He pushed against it with the tip of the fork. “This is not leftover food from a messy meal. Your mother took it off like a sock when she was transforming and left it behind as she ran into the marsh. She molted like a snake. I talk about that type of metamorphosis in one of my books. I’ll sign a copy for you, if you purchase it,” he told the twins.

  “We don’t want a book.”

  “We want our mother back.”

  “We don’t want her to be a monster.”

  “Interesting,” Frank Goolz repeated distractedly. He was looking toward the front door, which we had left wide open. Through it, I could see Mum sitting on our porch with a cup of tea.

  “She’s going to be so mad if I turn into a monster,” I said.

  “Well,” he said. “We’ve upset your mother too many times since we moved in. We have to stop doing that.”

  “Meaning?” I asked.

  “We’re not letting you turn into a monster.” He turned to the twins. “And we’re going to un-monster your mother.”

  “Hallelujah!” Ilona clapped her hands. “So, what’s the plan?”

  I threw the cookie into my mouth, chewing eagerly as I waited for Frank Goolz to tell us how he could stop me from going “full Herman” and how to “un-Herman” Mrs. Farrell. There was a long, painful silence. The only things I could hear were my two sets of teeth working on the cookie and Uncle Jerry grinding a napkin between his own single set of molars.

  9

  I,

  MONSTER

  I kept my promise and went home as soon as Mum called me for dinner. I ate another truckload of food and went to lie down on the sofa, watching our white ceiling, mulling over monster thoughts and fears, and running my tongue over my new teeth while Mum read a novel in the chair beside me.

  Frank Goolz had said they would come up with a plan. I was waiting.

  “You look worried again,” Mum said. “You always look worried when you come back from the Goolz’s.”

  “Nah. I’m having a whale of a time,” I said to kill that conversation.

  Dusk seemed to come in an instant, and the ceiling turned all shades of orange and red. I ran my tongue over my gums for the gazillionth time. The tips of the fangs had pierced the soft tissue, and I could taste blood. The palms of my hands itched. The joints of my fingers ached, and each time I moved them they clicked and cracked.

  I closed my eyes, though I wasn’t tired. I was restless and wanted to try to quiet my body down. I took a deep breath and my stomach produced an enormous, unnatural RUMBLE.

  Mum dropped her book on her lap. “Well, pardon you!”

  I tried to say something, but instead burped louder than thunder.

  “Good one, Harold!” came Suzie’s voice. We turned and saw her looking at us from the veranda.

  There was a knock on the front door and Mum went to open it as I slid back into my chair. The Goolz and Uncl
e Jerry came into the room with Mum a moment later.

  Mum gave Uncle Jerry a dark look. “Welcome to the nosy lady’s home, then.”

  “Oh. Sorry we started on the wrong boot, lady.” Uncle Jerry had his next napkin in hand, ready for consumption. “I didn’t know who you were. Frank told me you’re a stand-up person and one of the last good guys.”

  “We’re spending the night!” Ilona told me excitedly.

  “Are you really?” Mum breathed out, taken aback.

  “Oh, right. Dad has to ask you first.”

  Uncle Jerry started eating the napkin. Suzie crossed the living room and plopped down on the sofa, then looked around like she was considering what to steal. She was carrying an elegant white handbag, which she set down beside her. “Can I sleep on the sofa? I would like that.”

  “You would like that?” Mum was getting annoyed fast. “Frank?”

  Frank Goolz was wearing his white shirt, black pants, cool leather boots, and long black coat that was almost exactly like Ilona’s. And, of course, he carried his leather satchel. It was his usual outfit for a paranormal expedition. Uncle Jerry was in full camouflage.

  “Would you mind taking care of the girls?” Frank Goolz asked and explained that he needed to go away for the night.

  “Where to?” Mum asked.

  “We’re going into the Mallow Marsh.”

  “At night?”

  “I need to suck up the strange atmosphere for my next book. It’s a writer thing.”

  Uncle Jerry sneered and rolled his eyes. “Right! Let’s go suck up that atmosphere, Dostoyevsky.”

  Frank Goolz ignored him. “Is that all right with you?” he asked Mum.

  “There’s no school tomorrow,” Ilona reminded everybody. She sat down next to Suzie like it was a done deal. She was carrying a brown paper bag. “Pajamas,” she said when she saw Mum looking at it.

  “Her pajamas!” Mum laughed warily. She turned to Frank Goolz. He smiled at her. She turned to me. I nodded. She turned to Uncle Jerry. He chewed his paper. She sighed. “Okay, sure,” she said. “We’d love to have the girls for the night.”

  * * *

  —

  “Where are the twins?” I asked once Suzie, Ilona, and I were in my bedroom.

  “They sneaked out,” Suzie and Ilona said as one.

  “Poof!”

  “Departed.”

  “Vanished.”

  “Ha!”

  They rolled their eyes and sat on my bed in perfect synchronicity. I didn’t know whether to laugh or shudder.

  “They weren’t scared of the monster anymore,” Suzie said, breaking from their pitch-perfect impression of the twins. “They probably think they can talk it into transforming back into their mother and ask it for a good-night kiss.”

  “Dad and Uncle Jerry are going to try to get them back before they get bit and turn into two identical mini-monsters.”

  “Speaking of bitten and soon-to-be monster people…” Suzie looked at me sideways. “Is there anything else growing on you that we should know about?”

  “No, just the teeth.” I clenched my fist and my knuckles cracked loudly. “My hands feel weird though.”

  “And you burp like an ogre.”

  “I’ve been eating a lot.”

  I went to the window. There was nothing to see outside, no moon, no stars, just endless darkness. I reached for the glass of water on my nightstand.

  Ilona got to it first and took it away from me. “About that.” She opened my window and emptied the water outside. “You have to stop eating or drinking anything. It will slow down the process.”

  “The process?”

  “Of you turning into a monster.” Suzie opened her white handbag. “But if you turn and attack us, we have this.”

  She fished out a short, ancient-looking stick.

  “Brilliant. Please tell me that’s a magic wand.”

  It looked like a magic wand, but hollow, like a wooden pipe. It was about half the length of Suzie’s forearm and came to a needle-thin point.

  “It’s Dad’s,” Ilona told me. “Suzie and I call it the Sleep-o-Stick. It’s not a wand. It’s a blowgun that shoots magical pellets.”

  Suzie dug deeper into her handbag and took out a little leather pouch and a set of chopsticks, the kind you get with Chinese takeout.

  “Why the chopsticks?”

  “Fair question, Harold.” She untied the pouch and used the chopsticks to pinch out a tiny green marble that glowed softly. “This is the pellet. If it comes in contact with your skin, you’re done for.”

  “You mean…done like dead? Like it’s poison?”

  “No, silly. You don’t die. You just take a long nap.” Suzie dropped the pellet in the opening of the blowgun, then brought the other side to her lips and aimed at me. She puffed her cheeks and pretended to shoot. “Plop! You’re dead asleep. Hence the name we gave it: Sleep-o-Stick.”

  “We used to play with it all the time,” Ilona told me. “But then Dad confiscated it after I accidentally shot Suzie and she got knocked out for a long time.”

  “It’s really fun.” Suzie tilted the blowgun over the pouch and the pellet fell back into it. “Dad says it’s really old, like medieval something. It was created by a sorcerer. It’s black magic. Dad said we could bring it in case you turn into a monster tonight.”

  She gave it to me and I inspected it. It was made of dark wood and engraved with snakes eating each other’s tails. “Does your father have a real plan besides putting me to sleep with black magic?”

  “He’ll come up with something.” Suzie snatched the blowgun back and put it in her handbag. “He always does.”

  She lay back on the bed, folded her arms, and made a face. “We should be with him right now, looking for the twins and the monster! But this one…” She kicked her sister. “She wanted to stay with you, make sure you’re all right. Because she’s soooooooo in love with you that it’s getting ridiculous!”

  “She’s just teasing,” Ilona said, but her cheeks were turning rose red.

  “Everything’s different since we moved next door. It used to be Dad, us, monsters and ghosts, and the occasional shape-shifter. And now, it’s all feelings and What would Harold do?, and What would Harold say?, and What would Harold’s mother think?” She turned to me, sighed heavily, and closed her eyes. “At least if you really turn into a monster tonight, it won’t be a total waste of time.”

  “You done?” Ilona asked her.

  “Yes, you guys can go back to cooing.” She kept her eyes closed, signaling she was truly done with us indeed.

  “Don’t mind her,” Ilona told me. “She’s been a pest since Dad told her she can’t go after the twins with him.”

  “That’s cool. I don’t mind,” I said, though I was blushing, too.

  Mum knocked on the door and came in, carrying a tray with hot cocoa. “I made you a treat.”

  It was proper cocoa, made with milk and topped with mini-marshmallows, unlike the bitter mixture of stale cocoa powder and hot water they served at the Goolz’s house.

  I took a cup, dying to gulp it down. I looked at Ilona. She shook her head.

  I rested the cup on my lap, holding it with both hands, and watched the marshmallows melting into the creamy chocolate.

  “Okay, gang. Thirty more minutes and I want to see everybody in bed.”

  “Sure thing,” Ilona said.

  Mum left, and Ilona jumped off the bed and took the mug from my hands. She opened the window and the cocoa met the same fate as my glass of water.

  Suzie tried hers. “Ugh! Too sweet!”

  She sipped it again anyway, and I watched her longingly.

  “How long am I supposed to keep this up?” I asked. “I can’t starve myself forever!”

  Ilona took the cup from her sister’s hands and emptied both hers and Suzie’s into the night. The local raccoons were going to have a party on the mini-marshmallows. “Dad will be back soon. He’ll know what to do.” She closed the windo
w and put the empty cups on my desk. “We’re all in this together, okay?”

  I nodded and closed my eyes, trying not to think about a bunch of raccoons freeloading on mini-marshmallows that were truly meant for me. It wasn’t working.

  “I’ll be right back,” I said finally. I went into the bathroom and locked myself in. I swallowed some blood that was trickling from my gums. “We’re all in this together,” I repeated aloud. I didn’t sound as fierce as Ilona. I sounded scared.

  Yet, at the same time, the joy I’d felt that morning was still there, looming in the back of my mind. But I didn’t think it exactly belonged to me. It was the monster inside, eager to come out, even as the rest of me was terrified.

  I suddenly realized that I was staring at the sink. The faucet. The beautiful drops of water on the cold metal. No way, I told the monster. You’re not getting any water, you dork.

  I moved closer. I was just going to splash some water on my face. That was all. I turned on the faucet. The water poured out, twirling and splashing into the white ceramic basin, making a beautiful symphony of tinkling sounds as it disappeared down the drain. The frothing water was glittering with specks of silver.

  “Oh, boy,” I muttered.

  I cupped my hands to collect some. The ice-cold water blessed my skin. I splashed it on my face and, as if by accident, sucked in the droplets running over my lips. I cupped more, brought my hands straight to my mouth, and slurped it down. Then I leaned forward and connected my mouth directly to the faucet, sucking in as much water as I possibly could.

  I must have swallowed a gallon before I pushed away from the sink. “Thank you!” I told the running faucet. Then guilt took over and I quickly turned off the faucet. I looked up and caught my own reflection in the mirror. I looked happy, which made no sense since I was deeply disappointed in myself. I was two people at the same time. Harold and the monster. And the monster was smiling.

  I looked away.

  “This way!” I heard Frank Goolz shout right behind me. Uncle Jerry was screaming a string of curse words.

  I spun around and looked for them behind me. There was no one there.

  “Frank! It’s going to get me!” Uncle Jerry cried.

  “Where are you?” I shouted.