by B. Love
When Nash opened the door and his eyes landed on her, he fought his smile and the desire to bite down on his bottom lip.
Christian was fine as hell and thick as fuck.
Her cocoa brown skin was covered in white like he liked. All of her best features were accentuated in the white and red Adidas sweatsuit she had on. Her pear shaped ass and wide hips always made Nash’s dick harden if she sat on his lap or hugged him for too long, but he was always able to break away quick enough to hide it.
Even though Nash loved her long, thick, curly hair… he understood why she kept it concealed under weave. Today she had her body wave bundles in that wet look that made Nash imagine her laying on the beach damn near naked somewhere.
He searched her slanted, coffee brown eyes for the reason for her visit, but she quickly looked away from him.
“Thanks for letting me come over,” was her greeting, and Nash realized just how much he missed her cadenced, melodical voice falling from her round, pouty lips.
“What’s going on with you?”
With a soft sigh, she looked back up at him briefly before stepping in and walking past him. Her delicate, citrusy scent invaded his nostrils, causing him to close his eyes and inhale it deeply.
“You’re going to say I told you so.”
Closing the door behind her, Nash exhaled a hard breath and followed her into the living room. He was sure now that she was about to say some shit that had to do with Tyrell. Scooping her off her feet and into his arms bridal style, Nash got an immediate giggle out of her.
“Nash, put me down! If you drop me, I’m going to be mad as hell.”
Nash’s face scrunched up as he chuckled quietly. “You must have me confused with Tyrell’s scrawny ass. It’s nothing for me to carry you.”
Her smile wavered slightly as she stared at the side of his face. “I’m not slim like Pinky.”
He looked at her briefly, needing to look in her eyes to see if she was serious with this bullshit.
“And? You thick as fuck, and I like that shit.” Biting down on her bottom lip, Christian tried to conceal her smile. “Your frame is pretty as hell. Niggas be on you all the time. Stop with the bullshit.”
“That’s true… but I’m still hea–”
“You’re not heavy, Gucci. Not to me or for me.” Sitting down on the couch, Nash kept her on his lap. “I’ll carry your weight physically, mentally, and emotionally and be heavy for you if that means you can be at peace. So talk to me.”
Resting her forehead on his, she inhaled a deep breath and smiled. “You can’t say stuff like that and expect me to stay focused.”
“Yo man don’t hype you up like that?”
She shrugged. “He did, but it sounds different when you say it. You make it sound poetic. Like… I know I’m bad as fuck… but you make it sound poetic.”
“You’re poetic.” Christian lifted her head and looked into his eyes. “Beautiful. Expressive. Sensual. Emotional. How else am I supposed to connect with you?”
Well, through music, and he did that too.
Nash had mastered communicating with Christian, that’s why it pissed him off so much when she tried to hide things from him or disconnect from him.
“Tyrell and I are done,” she blurted, scooting her ass off him and onto the couch, but she allowed her legs to remain crossed over him as she covered her face and shook her head. When she removed her hands, she continued. “The nigga has two kids, and one of them is Trent. He isn’t his brother, he’s his father.”
Nash chuckled in disbelief. “What? How you find out?”
“Fallon, Trent’s mother, is one of the women he blocked on my Facebook. I ran into her earlier at the mall today with their younger son and she told me. So I went to his place and waited for him, and he confirmed it.”
Christian chuckled, and even though she tried to make it seem as if she didn’t care, Nash could feel that she did. He could also see it in her eyes before she looked away.
“Damn. I’m sorry, Chris. I know how important honesty is to you.”
She nodded and pulled her legs down from him. “Right. And I told him I didn’t want a man with kids.” Christian looked down at her feet as her head shook. “I never wanted to feel like he was stretching himself thin trying to be with me and not be there for them. I told him about my father and my childhood, and he still kept that shit from me.”
“How you feel?”
Chuckling softly, she pulled her hair gently. “Like a fool. I should have known he was up to something, but I just had to give him the benefit of the doubt.”
“That don’t make you a fool. You wanted to see the best in him, there’s nothing wrong with that. But now that you see what’s up with him… it’s up to you to do what’s best for you. If you know the truth gon’ fill you with even more paranoia and trust issues… you need to really let that mane go.”
“I know. Even if I wanted to give him a chance, I know I can’t. There’s no part of me that could ever be with a liar. Not with my issues. I would end up fucking Tyrell up just on the strength of the possibility of him lying to me again.”
Wrapping her arm around his neck, Christian placed her temple on his. “This is why I needed to see you. You help me feel and release my emotions and find my logic quickly.”
“That’s what I’m here for. I know how important that is to you.”
Christian placed a soft kiss to his cheek. Nash turned in her direction, lowering his eyes to her lips. Even though his begged to be connected with hers, he had to resist.
“Let’s get to work,” he ordered, standing and taking her by the hand.
“Already?” she questioned through her giggle. Even though her question showed hesitation, Christian followed him into the kitchen effortlessly.
“Hell yea. I ain’t finna let you be down over this nigga for too long. Even if you do love him, if you’re truly done with him, you need to let that mane go.”
Christian sighed. “You’re right. You’re right. Even though we’ve been together for two years, I’ve never been really attached to him or in love with him, so I know I can let him go. It’s just that anger and hurt over him lying to me.”
“We gon’ take care of that now.” Christian watched as Nash pulled a small notepad and pen out of the drawer next to the refrigerator. “Now you can’t cast it down with me and pick it up when you’re home and alone. This will only work when you’re truly ready to let him and those ill feelings go. Don’t feel like I’m rushing you to do so. If you’re not ready…”
“No…” Her head shook. Nostrils flared. Shoulders straightened. Chest poked out. “I’m ready. That’s… that’s why I came here.”
Nash stared into her eyes for a few seconds before nodding and motioning for her to sit down with his head. He placed two pieces of paper in front of her. She looked up at him, smiling softly with innocence dancing in her eyes.
If only she knew…
“My pops taught me this trick that his mama used to do when his daddy made her mad.” With a soft smile of his own, Nash placed the pen in between the two pieces of paper. He stepped behind her and lowered himself so that his face was next to hers. “On one piece of paper, you write your negative feelings that you want to release. On the other, you write your lessons that you want to keep.”
Turning to the right, he looked into her eyes. When hers lowered to his lips and she licked hers, Nash stood upright. Clearing her throat, Christian nodded and sat back in her seat. Giving her privacy, Nash went back into the living room until she called and told him that she was done. When she did, he returned to the kitchen and grabbed a metal bowl and bay leaf.
“Aight. We gon’ put the list of negative things in this bowl and the bay leaf. Write his name on the leaf.”
She nodded and did as she was told. Her fingers covered the engagement ring on her finger for a few seconds until she slid it off her finger. After putting it in the bowl, she smiled.
“You know what that means?”
Nash chuckled as he grabbed his lighter out of the drawer. “What creates diamonds?”
“Pressure.”
“And what does fire do to gold?”
Their eyes locked as she thought it over. When she realized what he was getting to, she smiled.
“Purify. Refine.”
“So what is this about to do for you?”
“Boy you ‘bout to preach, huh? Do I need to put some hunnids in your collection plate?”
Nash laughed as he shook his head. “I’m for real girl.”
Christian rolled her eyes playfully. “I’m going to be stronger. Purer. Polished. Better.”
“Aight. Get to it.”
Christian took the lighter from him and they went outside. She looked out into the setting sun and inhaled a few deep breaths before lighting the bay leaf and dropping it into the bowl. They both watched as the contents in the bowl became engulfed with flames. Sitting down, they rotated a blunt and listened to music around their own little bonfire.
The last step was for Christian to replace the negativity that she’d just released with something positive so it wouldn’t be able to return. And when she told him that there was nothing more positive to her than spending time with him… Nash had to stand and put some space between them.
“Let me feed you,” she offered, standing and walking up on him. “Thank you for this. For always being here for me. You didn’t even have to let me come over seeing as I chose that safeness over you. Can’t even say I chose him over you, because it would have been any man who offered me less than I deserve.”
“I was fucked up about it at first, I can’t lie, but I realized that was your loss if you settled, so I had to let it go.”
“Did you really think I was going to marry him, or did you know it would eventually come to this?”
“I felt like you would go through with it because you’re stubborn as hell and scared, but I also knew you would regret it. Not just because you lost me, but because you would eventually accept that he wasn’t capable of giving you everything you want and need.”
Her head shook as she crossed her arms over her chest. “You say that, but you never tell me why you think that.”
Nash wanted to tell her that Tyrell couldn’t give her what she wanted and needed because only he could, but instead, he settled on, “I just know. Now you gon’ fix my food or not? A nigga hungrier den a mothafucka.”
With a giggle, Christian took him by the hand and led him back into the house. “What do you want to eat?”
“Salmon and that French onion rice you be making.”
“What green vegetable do you want?”
“Ion want no green vegetable.”
“Nash.”
“Green beans,” he grumbled, getting another chuckle out of her. “You might as well not cook ‘em ‘cause I ain’t gon’ eat that shit no way.”
“You act like such a child when it comes down to food. I literally have to force you to eat your damn vegetables.”
“I know your ass ain’t talking! You barely eat real food, but you’ll make a whole meal out of chocolate and pepperoni.”
“And!”
“And you can’t make me eat right if you don’t either.”
“Okay. How about we start eating right together?”
Nash remained silent for a while as he thought over her suggestion before agreeing with, “Okay deal.”
Nash’s phone began to ring in his pocket. When he pulled his phone out and saw that it was Jax, he started to text him and tell him he’d call him in the morning, but something told him to answer anyway.
“Yo?”
“I need you to get in touch with Chris for me.”
“Why? What’s up?”
“Vincent’s bitch ass shot Maria. I’m on the way to the hospital with her now.” Jax released a shaky breath as Nash’s eyes landed on Christian. “She’s lost a lot of blood, bro. The fuck I’ma do if she die? I ain’t even made her ass fall in love with me yet.”
Nash chuckled, even though worry immediately began to fill his heart. But he had to be calm – for Christian.
“We ain’t even thinkin’ bout that. You gon’ have that chance I swear. We’ll meet y’all there. Which one?”
“Aight cool. Baptist East.”
As Nash disconnected the call, he walked over to Christian at the refrigerator. His hand covered hers, and he made her drop the minced garlic that she was about to pull out.
“What’s wrong, Nash?”
“She’s alive, but Maria was shot. Jax is with her. They are on the way to the hospital now.”
Her head tilted and mouth opened as she almost fell into the refrigerator. “What? Not my baby.”
Pushing past him, Christian rushed into the living room to grab her purse and keys, and Nash was right behind her as he told her, “Gimme them keys. I’ll drive.”
Leigh was in desperate need of a substance to ease her nerves, but since she was pregnant, she couldn’t smoke or drink. Instead, she sat in her car in the parking lot of the liquor store closest to her home. As her leg shook, she contemplated pulling up on Ransom. While she wished she could be confident enough to know he wouldn’t bring her any harm, they were already on rocky ground. Ransom was truly a shoot first and ask questions later type of man.
If he felt as if Leigh was a threat, there would be no stopping him from protecting himself from her or anyone else.
Before she was in his presence, she needed a buffer. Something or someone who could convince him that she still had his best interests at heart. That would be the only way he’d hear her out.
Though at this point, Leigh wasn’t sure what would even be the point. If she couldn’t get him to leave town, there would have to be a war… or she would have to take the life of the only man who had her heart. If the choice was Ransom or her sister…
Her sister…
Maria.
Leigh pulled her phone out of her pocket and called Maria. If anyone could calm Ransom down quickly it was Maria. For whatever reason, men clung closer to Maria than they did Leigh and Christian. Maybe it was because she related to them more. Either way, they wanted to protect her, or they saw her as one of the guys.
“Hello?” Maria answered, just when Leigh was about to hang up.
“What you doing?”
“Getting ready for my date with Vincent. What’s up?”
“I need you to do me a solid. There’s been a mix up. Money put a hit out on Ransom, and I accepted the bid to try and talk some sense into him, but Ransom thinks I’m actually going to try and kill him.”
“Shit,” Maria muttered as the sound of her shuffling across the floor in some heavy shoes filled the room. “I should have known Money would resort to this.”
Leigh paused before asking, “What do you mean?”
“Well… you remember when he wanted you to set up a meeting for us?”
“…Yes.”
“He basically told me he wanted me to take Ransom’s next shipment to keep him and Gucci from doing business. He gave me a certain amount of time to do it before he took matters into his own hands. So I guess him putting the price on Ransom’s head was his way of taking control.”
“Jesus, Maria. Why didn’t you say something?”
“Because he didn’t want me to! And I didn’t want to either. I knew if you found out what he was trying to do your ass would go on a killing spree trying to protect them, and contrary to what you and Christian believe, Money ain’t one of these new aged drug dealers. This man has been doing this for forty fucking years. He knows what he’s doing, and y’all need to handle him accordingly.”
Leigh may not have wanted to agree, but that was the truth. It was easy for them to move the way they did because of their book and street intelligence. Their names held weight. Half the time only a threat distanced competition. But Money would be harder. He had
more power, a bigger reputation, more connections, and quite frankly more experience.
The greedy bastard had become a billionaire over the course of his forty years in the streets. And even though he’d been arrested several times, not once had he served anything over five years. Money was definitely on a different level than them – one they were admittedly trying to reach – but that put not one ounce of fear in Leigh’s heart.
“I’ll deal with the fact that y’all kept this from me later. Right now, I need you to call Ransom and make it clear to him that I took the bid to protect him. I am not trying to set him up. When he’s calm and ready to see me, we can sit down.”
“I got you.”
“Aight, one.”
“One.”
Leigh sat in the parking lot for a few seconds before starting her car and heading out. Besides Ransom, there was only one other person she wanted to desperately talk to right now. And as she made her way to her grandmother’s home, all she could do was pray she was in her right mind. Ever had transitioned into a phase that made it kind of difficult for her to understand the importance of things or how cause and effect worked. Because of that, all of her responsibilities had been taken over by her children and grandchildren.
On her entire drive to her grandmother’s home, Leigh wondered how long it would take Ransom to hear her out. She hoped since it was coming from Maria that the words would settle into his heart and mind quicker.
When she arrived, the sight of her oldest brother’s car in the driveway made her shake her head. If she had a least favorite sibling, Ricky Jr. would definitely be it. Ricky’s family started young. He became a father to Ricky Jr. at the age of fourteen. His first baby mother was his younger sister’s baby sister. When Ricky was thirteen, his mother got a second job and needed help watching the kids when she worked her late night shift. Most nights Ricky swore he didn’t need a baby sister and would spend the night at a friend or cousin’s house.
But when he did stay home, he was absolutely smitten with the pretty baby sister who wore loose fitting sweaters, short skirts, and high socks. Being sixteen, Jada was curious about her sexuality, and Ricky became her experimenting partner. Since there was such a difference in their age, Jada denied that Ricky was the father of her child. She didn’t tell him until she was eighteen and had moved away for college.
