Flawed ~ Kim Karr

by Kim Karr

  The St. John dress I’m wearing is vintage and has a flared skirt. It hits me just above the knees. I curl my fingers in the luxurious material, inching it higher without looking at him, my gaze focused on the floor indicator above the elevator door.

  Twenty.

  Twenty-one.

  Twenty-two.

  All at once, I feel like I can’t breathe.

  Twenty-three.

  He’s moving closer, so very close. And then his arm is around my waist and my body is up against his. “I hate being away from you, but Penelope is suspicious of us. I have to stay away for a little while.”

  I press my body against his. “Suspicious?” I ask, my heart pumping with a fear that she’s going to force him to choose. “Why? You’ve been careful.”

  He forces himself to take a step back. “I know I have.”

  Higher, I slowly move my hem, revealing the first teasing hint of the edge of my stockings.

  His gaze is on me. “She says I’ve been distracted, and you’re the reason why.”

  I point one toe, cocking a hip as I ease the fabric of my dress just high enough to show him the flash of a garter and the pale flesh of my inner thigh. “Have you been?” I ask, almost purring the words.

  “Of course, I have been but not because of you. It’s because everything I’ve worked for is in jeopardy.”

  There must be more going on with his business than he’s mentioned. And the low blow that was meant to hurt me does anything but. “How long do you have to stay away?” I ask in a timid voice.

  His throat seems dry and I can see his cock throbbing. “Just until after the benefit, angel.”

  Knowing I still turn him on puts me at ease and I let my hem fall. “I understand, Mr. Cruz.”

  He smiles at me and draws me close. “By then my business should be in order and I hope to be able to tell her about you,” he says.

  I can’t hide my shock. “Why would you do that?”

  He grasps my chin firmly in his hand. “As long as you’re pure, you’re not considered a pollutant in our marriage, and she has no grounds for complaint. I thought you already knew this?”

  Tell her?

  Tell her!

  Why?

  Nothing good can come from that.

  The elevator doors open just as I’m blinking a few times and shaking my head no. As I step out, all I can do is hope that time never comes. Hope my plan goes as planned. Hope I’ll have what I want by then.

  Hope he’s dead by then.

  Chapter 31

  New Rules

  Gemma

  LAMAR TRENTWORTH IS a smart man and feeding him bullshit like I have been is dangerous.

  “So you think trying to seduce Enrique is the way to keep him in your life?” he asks.

  I straighten my spine. “Yes, I guess I do.”

  He wipes his long hair away from his flashing dark eyes. “Those are not pure thoughts, Gemma. You’re making me doubt my previous assessment of you.”

  “If I don’t remind him why he has me around, he might forget,” I tell him.

  Lamar sighs. “Love doesn’t work that way. Your constant feelings of insecurity where Enrique is involved obviously stem from the loss of your family. I really think we need to spend the next couple of sessions dissecting your emotions over your brother’s betrayal, your grief over your mother’s death, and your inability to accept your father’s mental state."

  My fingers clench into fists. He has no idea what he’s talking about. “It’s just, sometimes I wonder if telling Penelope about us wouldn’t make things easier.”

  Glaring at me over his glasses, he sneers, “Gemma, you absolutely must not breathe a word about your relationship with Enrique.”

  I guess telling Lamar about my feelings concerning the conversation I had with Enrique in the elevator was perfect after all. It not only kept the conversation away from what happened in Mexico, but it also helped convince him I’m not as pure as he thinks I am, and he’ll be sure to tell Enrique I’m not almost ready, after all.

  Of course, I made up those feelings I relayed—the ones of jealousy, of need, and fear of rejection. Yes, they were all made up—but luckily, Lamar doesn’t know that.

  “Tell me you won’t say a word.”

  “I won’t, but that doesn’t mean I understand.”

  He stands and comes to squat beside me. “You’ll understand when the time comes for all of us to sit down together and discuss your role in their marriage.”

  Role?

  This throws me. “What are you talking about?”

  Standing, he goes to his desk and scribbles a few notes. “It’s in the materials I gave you weeks ago. Have you not read it?”

  I follow him with my eyes. “I guess I missed that part.”

  He looks up. “Well, here at The Powers of the Higher Mind, we are taught to embrace new love into our lives, but it is only acceptable when the path is pure. We’ll pick this up in our next session.”

  This is my cue to leave. Standing, I grab my purse and head for the door. “Yes. Thank you, Lamar.”

  “Gemma,” he calls.

  With my hand on the knob, I look over my shoulder.

  “If you lie to me again, I’ll be forced to tell Enrique.”

  “I—”

  He waves a hand. “No excuses. Just read chapters fifteen through twenty before Thursday and any others you’ve told me you’ve read that you haven’t.”

  “Yes, I will,” I tell him and then open the door, moving quickly to close it behind me before he notices how much I’m shaking.

  Caleb is sitting on the sofa and up onto his feet before I reach the reception area. “Are you okay?”

  “You can’t ask me that,” I whisper under my breath, shifting my eyes toward the cameras in the ceiling.

  Catching on, he clears his throats. “Are you ready to leave?” He asks this loud enough for anyone listening to hear.

  “Yes,” I sneer and breeze by him.

  In the elevator, he stands in front of me. “What happened?” he asks quietly.

  “I don’t want to talk about it,” I hiss. “I just want to go home.”

  Home.

  Home.

  That’s a laugh.

  The only thing this session did was remind me that I don’t have a home anymore.

  Thanks to Enrique.

  Chapter 32

  Sign of the Times

  Caleb

  THE DEA CONFISCATED The Little Mermaid on a drug-related charge.

  Although I would never have named my speedboat after a Disney movie, the beat-up Grady White has a cabin large enough for me to sleep and, if needed, will make for a fast getaway.

  After taking her out for a spin, I dock her in the boat slip I rent by the week at the marina.

  Before I head out, I decide to check on the flash drive I still have. The one I pretended to give to a fellow agent but didn’t. Depending on whether I can get in Cruz’s office or not, I might need it.

  After slicing open the compartment I sewed it into, I frantically dump the contents of the entire bag out.

  Fuck!

  It isn’t in there, but there’s a hole big enough that could have fit through. Ben. Ben must have taken it when I went home at Thanksgiving.

  Fuck.

  Fuck.

  Fuck.

  I can’t contact him right now to get it back, not when I’m undercover. I can’t chance it. I glance at my watch. Shit, I have to start my run.

  Moving fast, my feet pound on the sidewalk as I head toward the former naval training center.

  It’s been two weeks since I went deep under cover. Even though I’m no closer to bringing Cruz down, I feel like everything has changed.

  Every day I’m learning more and more about Gemma and her relationship with Cruz. It’s a slow process. Her walls aren’t easy to break down. But she’s lonely and looking for someone to talk to, and sometimes, I’m it.

  I should feel guilty, but I don’t.

 
I honestly want to help her. However, I have to know more about her to do so. For all the things she tells me, she won’t tell me why she’s with him until I tell her why I’m here. And I can’t do that.

  So, that leaves us at yet another impasse.

  We haven’t kissed again, or fucked again, but we both want to. It’s in the air all around us every second of every day we spend together.

  Yet, I haven’t gone to her room since that night and she hasn’t beckoned me in. We both know it’s dangerous.

  Rounding the corner of the NTC jogging path, I hurry my pace. Rice is right where he’s supposed to be about ten feet ahead, stretching out his calves on a bench. As I approach him, I slow down, coming to stop and placing my hands behind my head to take in air.

  To anyone watching, I’m a runner in need of a breather. Nonchalantly, I walk to the back of the bench and use it to help me stretch out my quad. “How’s it going?”

  Lunging forward and elongating his calf, Rice responds, “Things are pretty dull. We moved out of the security office. Last week we got the okay to tail Cruz. He’s keeping a low profile though. For the past seven days he’s only gone to his office, his compound, and Emerald Plaza.”

  I give him a nod. “Gemma told me he thinks someone is looking to take him out.”

  “Who?”

  “He doesn’t know and neither do I. We ran into some trouble in Mexico, but I don’t think it was aimed at him specifically.”

  Rice switches legs. “I left the blueprints to his house taped beneath the next bench.”

  “You got them?”

  “Yeah, it wasn’t easy, but we did.”

  “That’s fucking great news.”

  “Thought you’d like that. Should make things easier. Anything else I should know?”

  Yeah, I had to kill someone. “Nothing pressing,” I tell him. “Two guys going after Enrique’s mistress. I’ll include it in my report when the op is over.”

  “Speaking of his mistress, her full name is Gemma Heart.”

  I nod, and switch legs, unimpressed with the intel.

  “Heart, dude.”

  I shrug. “Yeah?”

  “As in her brother is Josh Hart.”

  Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. I never made the connection. Anytime I heard anyone refer to her as Gemma Heart, I spelled it HEART, not HART.

  “You didn’t know?”

  Adrenaline spikes, burning through my veins. “No, I didn’t.”

  Rice switches legs one more time. “Shit. We were hoping you’d have already made the connection between her and Cruz and her brother. Best we can tell, this thing between her and Cruz is fairly new. It could be payment for keeping her brother alive, but I don’t think so.”

  I can’t help but flinch at the thought. “Neither do I. I’ll dig a little deeper,” I say darkly.

  Rice stands straight. “We won’t meet again until the night of the benefit. The plan remains the same.”

  I give him a nod.

  Skepticism lines his face. “In and out. Retrieve the data and then get the fuck out.”

  Leaning down, I mutter, “I know the plan.”

  He cocks his head in doubt. “Use the beacon locator if you need an extraction team, we’ll be in wetsuits not too far away. Otherwise, we’ll see you on the Mermaid, but either way, Meg wants you out.”

  I glance up, trying my best not to make direct eye contact. “Why? What if the op isn’t a success?”

  “I guess it won’t matter.”

  “What are you talking about?”

  “Word is he’s in the process of moving his main operations to Mexico. Since we can’t go after him there, Meg doesn’t want to waste any more resources on him.”

  “Where’d she hear that?”

  He shrugs. “I’m just the messenger.”

  In other words, who-the-fuck-knows. With a shake of my head, I hit the jogging path and take off.

  Josh Hart is Gemma’s brother.

  Josh Hart, the lowlife who almost killed my best friend’s ex-fiancé.

  Josh Hart, the piece of shit who got off so easily because of the evidence I buried.

  Gemma is Josh Hart’s sister.

  Is Cruz using her as repayment for a debt, or is she using him for something?

  And if so, what?

  I don’t know the answer, but I will . . . very soon.

  Chapter 33

  Thunder

  Gemma

  THE MIDNIGHT CHANGE of guard doesn’t go unnoticed, just as it hasn’t any night that Caleb comes on duty.

  However, as I have all week, I remain in my room. It’s for the best. We both have our own agenda and neither wants to compromise it, and getting caught with my bodyguard would definitely put a wrench in my plan.

  And we would get caught. It would only be a matter of time. Enrique has truly lost his mind. He’s exhausted and irrational, even more so now than ever before. He hasn’t stayed away as he told me he would. Instead, he’s been stopping by unannounced and calling all hours of the day.

  I haven’t even been able to sneak out to get to the warehouse for fear he’ll come by when I’m gone.

  Luckily, while I’ve been at the museum during the day, I’ve been able to use the phone to arrange for pickups, but I haven’t been able to get to my computer, so I haven’t beat him to any purchases he’s told me he’s wanted to make.

  Feeling tired and uninspired, I set my pencil down on the easel and traipse over to the bathroom. I’ve just shut the door behind me when it’s forced open again. I stumble back, astonished, as Caleb quickly steps inside and slams the door behind him. He locks it and then faces me.

  I’m still dressed from the day in my skirt and blouse but in my bare feet. I wish I hadn’t kicked my heels off because like this, Caleb has a good five inches on me and he’s seething anger.

  A shudder ripples through me and I take a step back. With a tight smile, I say, “What are you doing? Enrique could stop by at any minute.”

  His green eyes snap hot as fire at me. “Who the fuck are you?”

  Sneering, I gesture toward the door. “If you want to talk to me, how about you start by knocking like any decent human being would do.”

  All reason, sanity, and judgment seem to have abandoned him. He’s a solid wall of muscle and it’s never been more obvious. “You should be used to indecent in your life, right?”

  Stunned by his self-righteous behavior, my chest rises and falls with my rage. “You aren’t one to judge me,” I snap through clenched teeth.

  Caleb’s expression darkens, his gaze flickering over my chest before darting back up to my face. “Careful, sweetheart. You’re letting your mask slip, and you wouldn’t want to show the real you, now would you?”

  Closing my eyes, I clench my hands into fists as hurt washes through me. I thought I could count on this man. I thought he was on my side. I was obviously wrong. I should have known I’m the only one I can count on.

  “If you’re wishing me away, it isn’t going to work.” His deep voice washes over me. “I’m not going anywhere until you tell me who you are.”

  “Get out!” I shout.

  At the warm sound of his fake laughter, my eyes pop open. Sneering, he shrugs. “Already told you, I’m not going anywhere until you tell me what your angle is.”

  My gut churns. “We’ve already done this dance. It’s getting tiresome.”

  His sneer morphs into a glower. “How about I help you a little?”

  A painful ache pierces my chest as I look at him in confusion. Obviously, he thinks he knows something but he can’t, not really. “Sure, why not?”

  He leans in toward me, our faces almost at eye level. “Let’s start with your brother, Josh. Were you involved with him in the drug ring or on the theft side?”

  Fear seizes me.

  How could he know?

  “Or were you just in on the hits?”

  Hits?

  Dumbfounded, I stare up at him, wordless.

  His gorgeous green eyes a
re bloodshot, and he looks even more tired than he normally does. “Is you being here your payback to Enrique for your brother’s fuck ups or your own?”

  I nod, swallowing down the shame I can’t hide. As much as I am attracted to this man, the fact that he can so easily stand here and want to tear me apart tells me he’s no one I should have allowed into my life. “Screw you. I’m nothing like my brother, and what I’m doing isn’t for him. It’s because of him!”

  I turn away, but he takes hold of my arm and tugs me back to face him. I lose focus. All of a sudden, I’m back to that night—the night I lost my entire family, and this time I can’t block out the memory of it.

  I hate my life.

  What it’s become.

  I want to go back and change that night. Change everything.

  Caleb’s grip becomes stronger and I snap back to reality. My reality.

  “Let me go,” I whisper. “Please.”

  He immediately releases my arm. “Gemma?” he asks, his voice filled with concern.

  I shake my head, my eyes refocusing on him. Everything hard about him is gone and the disgust I saw in his eyes has been replaced with something else.

  “I’m not going to hurt you.”

  Stepping back, I clutch my stomach and lean against the sink for support. “How could you possibly know about Josh?”

  “I just do.”

  I feel tears prick the corner of my eyes. “Enrique can’t know that I know about him.”

  “Gemma.” I feel Caleb approach me tentatively. “Talk to me. Let me help you.”

  “You can’t.” I try to breathe through my tears. “No one can.”

  His arms come around me, and I find comfort in his embrace when I know I shouldn’t. “Let me try. Tell me why you’re here.”

  Eventually the tears stop and I move to sit on the edge of the tub and brace myself to tell Caleb what I’ve never told another.

  “Do you remember that first night we met?” I ask, my voice trembling.

  He nods.

  “I was wearing a necklace.”

  “It was a pink heart, like the ones you keep drawing.”

  I suck in a breath. “Everything that happened in my life has been because of that necklace,” I tell him.