Outside

by Michelle Mankin

  The cry of the gulls, the roar of the crashing waves and the occasional voices of the early rising surfers soothed me, though they were too far away for me to actually make out what they were saying.

  Eyes fastened on Lincoln, I watched him bobbing on the flats, watching the set pattern and waiting for the perfect wave. So much of surfing seemed to be patience and timing. Sleepy in the sun I leaned back. Using one of the rocks as a pillow, I rested my eyes, dozing off.

  Suddenly appreciative hoots and hollers snapped me from my slumber. I turned my head and focused my gaze where I’d last seen Lincoln. He wasn’t sitting on his board anymore. He was up in a regular left foot forward crouch, arms out for balance using his hips and knees to turn as he shredded a sweet wave. I watched him harness its power taking it all the way in and dry docking it before popping off his board. Steadying the board he placed his other hand over his eyes to shield them from the sun as he nonchalantly scanned the shore.

  I knew who he was looking for and I felt it, the moment he found me. He went completely still and so did I, the force of his captivating personality palpable across the space separating us.

  He smiled and waved. I smiled back wishing I was closer so I could have a better view of the dimple that I knew had appeared. He tucked his striped board under his arm and waded out. I stood and moved to meet him. He unlatched the Velcro fastener from around his ankle. It had a cord that tethered him to his board and was his lifeline while in the surf. He set the surfboard down on the sand, unzipped and peeled off the top of his wet suit shaking out his hair and revealing a toned muscular torso that made my heart stumble for a couple of beats. Even through my shades I felt the weight of his perusal.

  “Hey,” I said lifting my sunglasses up on top of my head when he got close. I tried not to blush as his gaze ran the entire length of me head to bare feet. “You looked good on that wave.”

  “Yeah?” His lids lowered and so did his voice. “I was just showing off for you.”

  Had he seen me there all along?

  “You’re the one who looks good.” He looked me over carefully almost as if checking for bruises before smiling slowly seeming to appreciate the simple white cotton blouse with the cap sleeves and the khaki shorts that I wore, as well as the way I filled them out. “Although…” He trailed off and took a step closer. So close I could feel the contrasts between the cold of his lower body in the wet suit and the warmth of his naked chest. “You’ve got a little drool left over from your nap.” My cheeks flamed as he stroked the pad of his thumb across the lower corner of my mouth. The motion of his thumb parted my lips and my heart started beating so fast I was afraid I was going to go into cardiac arrest. My entire body woke up and took notice the instant he had touched me. I desperately wanted him to kiss me.

  “Did you get it all?” I whispered even though no one was around to hear me. My eyes locked on his.

  He held my gaze while his thumb traced the line of my jaw and softly skimmed the shell of my ear. A shiver rolled through me. I swayed toward him. “Yeah.” His voice was even deeper than before.

  I blinked up at him. I couldn’t even remember what we had been talking about. I felt hot, feverish and tingly all over as he stared at my lips, his eyes darkening. He leaned in, his hands curling around my upper arms and gathered me closer. I held my breath as his head lowered and his mouth came closer to mine.

  “Hey, Linc!” A male voice shouted.

  Startled, I sucked in a sharp breath and stepped back while Lincoln turned looking irritated about the interruption.

  A plethora of appreciative whistles accompanying their approach, three surfers strode toward us walking together in a row, their wet suits half unzipped to reveal bodies almost as ripped as Lincoln’s. Their forms cast shadows in the sand as they raked their curious yet wary gazes over me as if they were Lincoln’s posse and I might pose some sort of threat to him.

  Maybe it was time to lay off watching the old black and white westerns my father favored.

  The tall, dark and tatted one broke off from the others and gave me a long leering look. “Well, well, well. Look who Linc’s got on the line now.” He was Hispanic with eyes so dark they were nearly black and he spoke with a slight accent. “Simone Bianchi, I haven’t seen you since high school.” Grinning he leaned toward me and I side stepped closer to Lincoln. “She smells as good as she looks, like flowers or something muy delicioso. Pretty high toned company for you, eh amigo?” he said to Lincoln before his gaze shifted to me. “But if you’re lowering your expectations, Simone, I’d be happy to accommodate you.”

  “Back off, Ramon,” Lincoln growled. “She’s not the type of girl to be interested in your shit.”

  The silver blond blue eyed surfer next to Ramon was silent but his speculative gaze was active swinging back and forth between Lincoln and Ramon.

  “Aren’t you gonna introduce us?” The dark haired surfer with the short haircut and the light green eyes asked Lincoln while his gaze remained on me. Without waiting for Lincoln to decide, he offered me his hand and I took it liking him and his wide friendly smile right away. “Dominic Campo. I’ve seen you around town. Your family owns Napoli’s Seaside. Right?”

  I nodded.

  “Dominic’s his given name but we call him Patch.” Lincoln threw his arm across my shoulders and pulled me closer. Almost as if he wanted to give his friends the impression that we were a couple.

  “Why?” I asked.

  “Because dude’s always tinkering and fixing things,” Ramon explained.

  “I’m Ashland Keys.” The platinum haired blond finally spoke up, his gaze narrowing slightly seeming to be stuck on the spot where Lincoln and I were connected. He didn’t seem too happy about it.

  “Simone. It’s nice to meet you,” I said softly feeling a little uncertain. I didn’t understand why he seemed displeased with me and had just belatedly realized that he was the surfer Lincoln had been with earlier.

  “Ash is my cousin but he’s more like a brother,” Lincoln said. “His mom and mine were adopted sisters.”

  “Were?” I queried before stopping to consider that we might have stumbled into a painful subject. I covered my mouth while mumbling an apology.

  “It’s ok, babe.” Lincoln’s arm tightened around me before I could even think about pulling away. “My mom died before I could remember. Ash’s mom, my Aunt Maggie, is the only mom I’ve ever really known. She’s great. I’d love for you to meet her.”

  Ash frowned. He didn’t seem to like that idea.

  “Your aunt and uncle are coming to see our show tonight.” The wind ruffled the short layers of Dominic’s inky hair as he spoke. “Why don’t you come and bring Simone with you?”

  “Oh, no. That’s ok.” I was smiling as I worked out my refusal because Dominic was being so friendly. “I’m sure Lincoln has other plans and I have to work.”

  “Lincoln.” Ramon snickered. “It’s so damn cute how formal you are with him.”

  I flinched. The sarcasm in his tone wasn’t complimentary.

  “Everyone calls him Linc,” Dominic explained.

  Embarrassed I nodded but dropped my gaze digging my pink frosted tipped toes into the sand.

  “I think it’s an excellent idea. What do you say, Simone?” Lincoln asked and I lifted my eyes to look at him. The way the breeze combed through the thick layers of his sun streaked hair was distracting. I wished I could do it with my fingers instead.

  “I don’t know.” I shrugged.

  “I wish you would. They don’t go on until ten. Napoli’s closes at nine thirty. That’s enough time for both of us to finish work and walk over together.”

  “Alright,” I agreed after only a token moment of hesitation. I wanted to do it. I would worry about the risks later. “I’d love to go. Thanks for inviting me.” It would be a little tricky figuring out a way to hide where I was going and who I was going with from my dad but it wouldn’t be impossible.

  Lincoln made me feel so many things I’
d never felt before with another guy. It was worth any risk to find out what might happen between us if his friends weren’t there.

  Cautious and making sure no one was shadowing me, I turned the corner to the shallow back hallway where all the dry goods for Napoli’s were stored and where I’d seen Simone going a moment earlier. After another night of watching her from the periphery, this time while she played hostess smiling warmly, listening attentively and gliding gracefully to each table to make the diners feel welcome, I was near crazy with the desire to touch her again, to put my lips to hers the way I had almost done there on the beach.

  Hearing her father’s raised voice put an immediate cabash on that plan and all the other heated fantasies I’d indulged in over the evening. That long slit in her skirt had given me all sorts of ideas.

  I hadn’t seen him all evening but he was definitely here now and laying into her. From my position behind a stack of boxes I could clearly see them. She had her back to the wall and he was looming over her. My gut churned and my hands curled into impotent fists.

  “Table eight said their mussels were served cold.”

  “I know, Daddy. I took care of it. I already replaced the entrée, apologized and comped their meal.” Her voice was soft and conciliatory.

  His wasn’t. “It shouldn’t have happened in the first place. You need to be more on top of things when I’m away. You seem to have forgotten everything I taught you while you were off at college. Head in the clouds spending way too much time on those inconsequential theater classes.”

  “I can’t be the manager and the hostess at the same time.” Her words were reasonable as was her tone but I could hear the slight edge of panic in it. “Without you here we were short staffed.”

  “Excuses, Simone. Poor ones. I won’t tolerate you turning out all flighty like your mother.”

  “She’s not…She wouldn’t be if you would…I’m not…” Her face turned to the side. She saw me, her eyes widening slightly within her pale face and I saw her jaw tightening with the effort it cost me to control my anger.

  “Another night like tonight and I’m warning you that I’ll change my mind about paying for those electives you seem to have grown so fond of. You need to remember you’re at SDSU to earn a business degree.”

  “Yes, Daddy.” Her voice was dull, lifeless, resigned. I didn’t like it.

  He turned away from her and I ducked back the other way stepping into the kitchen just as he came around the corner behind me.

  I washed and I scrubbed out pots and pans trying to work out my frustration. Steam billowed up from the commercial dishwasher beside me but my thoughts were much hotter. I was furiously angry about the way he treated her when she was such a dutiful daughter. He seemed intent on destroying her spirit, the part of her that made her eyes sparkle, the part of her that seemed to come alive near the ocean, the part of her that unashamedly belted out show tunes at dawn.

  After closing, I jogged home, showered, changed into a white button down and clean jeans and jogged back to the beach pacing back and forth above the stairs where we’d first met and where we’d agreed to meet again tonight.

  Had it only been a couple of days?

  It felt like much longer.

  Maybe because her golden eyes were all I thought about when I went to bed at night.

  Maybe because my fingertips buzzed with the compulsion to touch her soft skin again, to learn and trace every single curve of her body.

  Maybe because I knew she was different.

  That I had to have her but knew deep down that once I did there would be no going back to the way my life had been before.

  Even surfing and qualifying points had been pushed into the background inside my mind.

  “Sorry I’m late.” Her voice was huskier than usual. Had she rushed like I had? She certainly sounded out of breath. I got that way too when I turned around and looked at her.

  She’d showered and changed. Waves of her flowery scent assailed me. Tendrils of her hair were still wet. I shut down the immediate thought of her naked in the shower. I’d never make it through tonight without doing something crazy and way too soon if I allowed my mind to go there.

  “You look beautiful.” I ran a hand across my heated neck. “I mean you looked beautiful earlier at work, too, but now…” Fuck. I was acting like a nervous guy on a first date. I had a stray thought that maybe that was because this mattered. She mattered and it had never been like that with me and other chicks. Ever.

  She preened under my compliment. The cautious look in her eyes becoming that pretty sparkle that made her honey hued eyes glow in the illumination of the street lamp.

  I took a step toward her, fingers feeling bereft until I had them on her soft skin again. Nearly shuddering I traced one arm, bare like most of her body in the short strapless white dress she was wearing. We both dipped our heads to watch my hand glide over her golden skin all the way down until I reached her fingers and intertwined them with mine.

  I swallowed hard. My mouth seemed suddenly devoid of moisture. When I lifted my gaze her eyes were even brighter than they’d been before.

  “Linc.” She stared into my eyes and breathed my name making it sound as if she were stunned by what she saw. God, I hoped so. I was definitely knocked off my board by her.

  “I wanna kiss you, Mona. So bad. But not here, not now, not with you looking so perfectly beautiful.” My fingers tightened on hers. “I already told my aunt I was bringing you, and she wants to meet you. But my first priority after that is going to be finding someplace private because then I am going to kiss you. And I’m going to kiss you hard. And I won’t be able to stop after just one.”

  I was nervous even before he said those things and called me Mona, like no one ever had before but I loved it that he had. Now I was practically panicked. Sure I was delighted that he wanted to kiss me, but Lincoln wasn’t like the boys I had gone out with in college. He wouldn’t fumble. He definitely wouldn’t make me wish I had said no instead of yes. And that scared me because I didn’t want to disappoint him.

  The short walk to the Deck Bar was a blur. Even though the ocean was right there on my left, even though the moon sparkled romantically on its surface and even though Linc’s hand was warm on mine, I couldn’t enjoy it the way I should.

  “Hey,” he told me gently turning me to face him at the base of the wooden steps that led up to the second story where the open air bar was located. “Where’d you disappear to?”

  He was too perceptive. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.” I tried to deflect him.

  “Don’t.” His expression hardened. “Tell me the truth. Don’t tell me what you think I want to hear. You don’t have to hide from me. I don’t know who you think I am but I’m not like you’re father.”

  “I know that.” My stomach tangled into a knot. I knew he’d seen my father dressing me down, seen the shrinking violet I became, had to become, around him. My chin came up. “Don’t you dare feel sorry for me, Lincoln.” I tried to tug my hand free but he wouldn’t let me so I gesticulated irritably with the other one. “I don’t know what this is all about with you but I’m going home now. I don’t need anyone’s pity.” I felt the prick of angry stupid tears behind my eyes. “So what if my father’s an asshole and my mother’s a drunk? So what if my home life sucks? I have a plan. He thinks he’s the one who controls me but maybe it’s the other way around. Maybe you don’t know everything you think you know. Maybe you’re the one who’s being too quick to judge without having all the facts.” My chest heaving with the force of my passion I had to stop to catch a breath and that’s when I noticed Lincoln’s expression had changed. His eyes were no longer glittering with anger. They were glittering but with something else now, something significant, something I could get more addicted to than his smooth as silk voice, his handsome face, his gorgeous body, or his elusive dimple which suddenly made a surprise appearance.

  “Damn, you’re fucking phenomenal when you’re pissed off.”
He stepped closer releasing my hand not to let me go but so he could frame my face with both of his. He stared deeply into my eyes that still burned brightly from the pressure of holding back my impassioned tears. “I’m falling for you Simone Bianchi. Just so you know upfront what’s going on. I didn’t take the job at Napoli’s because I was desperate for the money. I’ve got tour sponsors since I turned pro and living with my aunt and uncle keeps my expenses low so I’m pretty much set through the next year if I’m careful. Not that I don’t appreciate having some extra cash to spend until the next qualifying event. I got that job because of you, to be near you. What I feel for you has got nothing to do with pity. You’re one of the most gorgeous women I’ve ever seen. The most gorgeous when you light up like this. When you get that dreamy spark in your eyes and then look at me like you just did just a couple of minutes ago when I almost kissed you.” He exhaled heavily his minty breath fanning my face. “Fuck the waiting.”

  He lowered his head. My heart started pounding wildly. My lids fluttered closed and his warm lips touched mine. I was prepared for an assault, for the hard kiss he had warned me about, but not for this one. The gentle persuasion, the back and forth feather light brushing of his firm masculine mouth against my lips decimated my senses. The kiss was so divine, so magical and so sweet that I sighed as soon as he lifted his head. My lids fluttered open and my sight was filled with the vision of his gorgeous face. His eyes were completely dark and his expression was so fiercely possessive that my pulse pounded even harder. No man had ever looked at me with such intense desire before. And because it was Lincoln and because I was falling for him every bit as over the falls hard as he was falling for me, I suddenly felt as beautiful as he’d said I was to him.

  I smiled and went up on my toes feet sliding completely out of my flip flops.

  And

  then