by Dale Mayer
“I think that’s one of the biggest things that we find here,” Anna said. “Men come in, beaten up by life, and they were all big healthy strapping men beforehand, and who they are now is a completely different person, at least on the outside. Most of the time they have to find that inner strength to fall in love with themselves all over again, as the best person they can be right now.”
“And Finn’s not there yet,” she said.
“The colostomy?”
Fiona nodded. “That’s part of it. I think the missing leg is another part but minor. He seems to think the colostomy is very unsexy.”
“So, as the girl who potentially could end up sharing his bed, how do you find it?” Only simple curiosity could be heard in Anna’s voice.
And, for that reason alone, Fiona answered her. “I couldn’t care less,” she said. “He’s missing a big chunk of muscle from his back and a couple ribs too, but that doesn’t make me feel any differently. He’s missing his lower right leg. That doesn’t make me feel any differently. I’m a nurse,” she said with a shrug. “I’ve seen it all, and I’m not looking for physical perfection. I’m looking for inner strength.”
“And we have heard from multiple people with colostomies how they feel about it. You know Sarah here has one, right?”
Fiona nodded. “Yes, I do, and she’s adapted well to it by now.”
“I think she feels her surgery was a gift, in a way. She’s pain-free. She’s happy. She’s married, and her husband obviously doesn’t have a problem with it. You and I both know the world doesn’t want to contemplate bodily functions, let alone talk about them, but they’re an essential part of healthy living. When bodily functions mess up, it has a drastic effect on us. Honestly, Finn should be grateful. He’d be dead without that colostomy.”
“It’s so different in our medical world. We talk about this freely. And he is alive today because he had that colostomy. And telling him that is so not gonna be helpful,” Fiona said with a chuckle. “Although I’ve said more or less the same thing to him.”
Anna nodded. “Again, back to that ‘have to work it out themselves’ issue.”
“Dani bought him some sketchbooks and pencils,” Fiona said. “I hope he’s started drawing something but no clue. It might take him time.”
“And, of course, you’re not gonna pry.”
“Of course not,” she said. “And I’m not even sure that he is sketching. It’s just that the sketchbooks used to always be off to the side, but he’s moved them closer. Maybe I’m wrong. Maybe I’m just hoping he’s started drawing again.”
“It’d be good for him,” Anna said. “Everybody needs an outlet here.”
“Right,” she said, “it’s even more important here.”
“I would just keep on the way you’re going,” Anna said. “He’ll get the message.”
“Oh, I think he has the message,” Fiona said, her lips twitching. “But it takes time, you know.”
“Not around here, it doesn’t. Not when we all know too well about the fragility of life,” Anna said with a smirk. “And not with you. There’s no need for time. You’re so picky, and yet, you already know you care about Finn. You’re a wise woman, probably ready to settle down, yes? You’re in your early thirties, and what is he, early to mid-thirties? It’s the perfect time for two people, wise to the world, to make better choices now. And, if you want to be together, why would you waste any more moments being apart?” At that, Anna stood, grabbed her tray and said, “I’ll see you later.”
Fiona nodded. She sat here nursing her cup of coffee as she leaned back and relaxed. It was dinnertime and her evening off. The sun was still high in the sky, creating yet another gorgeous Texas day. It seemed like this was God’s country. She looked at the rolling hills, the animals, and caught sight of Stan coming up the stairs. She watched the veterinarian as he came up the far side. He looked more tired than usual. She lifted a hand in greeting, catching his eye.
He smiled and walked over.
“Long day?” she asked.
He nodded. “Long, stressful and sad. I’m gonna grab some food. Do you mind if I join you?”
“Please do,” she said. She waited for him to return, feeling better just having somebody here at her table to talk to. She was surrounded by people but had felt very alone for a moment, and there was no need for it because Anna had just left.
It was because of the twenty feet that separated her from Finn. And yet, it wasn’t twenty feet—it was miles. Miles of emotional expanse. She didn’t know where they were going—if they were going anywhere—but she hoped so. She was wondering how long it would take for her to get over her doubts about whether Finn’s feelings for her were real or not. She also had to avoid judging him based on her ex’s behavior.
She’d been distant with patients, cordial, of course, but never too friendly. Until now. She’d had no choice with him as something between them just clicked. And this time, it was her heart that would likely get hurt.
Just then Stan sat down across from her with a plate of roast beef, mashed potatoes, and Yorkshire pudding.
She looked at it and smiled. “I saw all that food, but I just wanted a salad tonight.”
“I’m tired and worn out. I have to go back down and check on a very difficult case from this afternoon,” he said. “I need the energy.” He forked up his first bite of roast beef and sat back as he chewed, a picture of sheer bliss on his face.
She chuckled. “Well, it’s nice to know that you’re enjoying it.”
“I get that, in a lot of medical institutions, the food is one of the biggest complaints. Here, Dani runs a really great cafeteria. And we never ever get shafted on the quality of the food.”
“I don’t think Dennis would allow it,” she said, smiling. “Just think about it. This kitchen’s his domain.”
“And yet, other chefs are in the back, and he’s more the face of the kitchen,” Stan muttered around a mouthful of food.
“Exactly,” she said.
Just then Dennis appeared at her side. “Hey, did I hear my name called?” He topped off her coffee.
She chuckled. “You did but all good things,” she said, “always all good things.”
He stopped and watched as Stan had another bite and then asked, “How is it?”
Stan couldn’t even answer. He just picked up his free hand and pinched his thumb and forefinger together in a circle to say, A-okay.
Dennis nodded with satisfaction and disappeared again.
“He doesn’t need to be collecting dishes, but he’s always out here,” she said, “always filling up waters and coffees and helping the patients. Just generally being a nice guy.”
“And that’s what he is,” Stan said, “just a generally nice guy. We need more like him in this world.”
“True enough,” she said. “And it’s always hard to know what’s going on inside a person versus outside too.”
“You’re talking about Finn?”
She frowned and then let her irritation slide away. “Yes.” She caught the twinkle in Stan’s gaze. “Does everybody know?”
“Sure. Why not?” he said. “We do love to see people matched up happily.”
“Well, it’s too early to be that,” she said.
“Nope, not at all,” he said. “But you’re going through that really interesting kinda-sorta-boyfriend-girlfriend-but-not-quite-there-yet stage,” he said. “I find that fascinating. It’s like when two animals come together but walk away only to return as if they have absolutely no choice—like magnets. That’s you and Finn. I’ve seen it many times before, and I hope to see it many times again,” he said. “And here, with you two, it’s definitely obvious. You guys have that electrical surge around you when you come together.”
“And it’s not just physical?” she murmured in a low tone.
All seriousness fell from Stan’s gaze, and he shook his head slowly. “I can see you’re feeling very insecure, and, of course, the only way to feel any better abou
t that,” he said, “is to talk to him and see if you can work through some of this. And, I imagine, you feel like it’s way too early for that.”
She gave him a luminous smile and said, “Very wise of you.”
“I didn’t earn my gray hairs for nothing,” he said with a smile.
“So, what’s this terrible case downstairs?”
“I’ve got a female lab that was hit by a vehicle,” he said, “and she was pregnant. I had to do a C-section right off the bat because the babies were almost full-term. Then more surgery to try to save her life. Now, of course, we’re hand-feeding the pups while we see if the mom can survive and if she’ll produce any milk. And also keeping the puppies close to her so that they know who Mom is.”
Fiona’s heart broke at the thought. “Oh my,” she said. “May I come down and see them?”
“Absolutely,” he said. “As soon as I finish eating, I have to check on them. I’ll be staying close by all night. She’s touch-and-go at the moment.”
“In which case, you’re gonna have puppies to bottle-feed and often,” she said.
“Five of them,” he said with a smile. “Five wiggly small black newborns that deserve a chance at life.”
“Exactly.” Then she compulsively said, “If you need somebody to help bottle-feed …”
“Accepted,” he said instantly. At the suddenness of his response, she looked at him and said, “Did you set me up?”
He gave her a bland smile and said, “I always knew that you were a warm, caring, loving person who would do whatever was needed to help. Besides, you won’t be alone, and it would be every two hours.”
The thought of every two hours made her cringe. It was hard to get a good night’s sleep when it was interrupted so often.
He said, “If we have enough people to handle every four hours, you’d only have to get up once in the night.”
She smiled at that. “Will you get any sleep?”
“Depends on how many volunteers I get,” he said craftily. “And the mom is also a major part of my concern because life will be so much easier on those pups if Mom survives too.”
“I can’t imagine,” she said. She settled back, sipped her second cup of coffee and waited until he was done.
As soon as he was, he hopped to his feet and said, “Ready?”
She nodded and quickly grabbed his and her trays, carried them to Dennis, who met her halfway across the room to take them from her. Then Stan came over and said, “Come on. Let’s go.” He didn’t slow his pace. She gave a wave to Finn as she walked past, but she raced to keep up with Stan.
Dani noticed and called out, “Stan, any update?”
“Five pups. Mom’s in tough condition.” And then he was gone.
Fiona could hear Dani giving an explanation to her dinner companions, obviously having heard the news earlier.
Then Fiona got really busy as she walked into the back of the vet clinic and was immediately handed a tiny black wiggly-worm pup that wasn’t any bigger than her hand and a minuscule dropper and was asked to start feeding. And with now two of these guys tucked up against her, she fed them both with eyedroppers, then she closed her eyes and cuddled them close.
“Do you think Stan would mind if I go down?” Finn asked Dani in a low voice.
She smiled, leaned over and whispered, “He’s probably dying to get volunteers if it’s puppy-feeding time. Over the years, I’ve helped many, many times,” she admitted. “Sometimes we have kittens, sometimes puppies, sometimes ducklings. He takes in anything that needs help, and, in this case, the mother is badly in need of help.” She motioned downstairs. “Go if you want to.”
He nodded and shifted his chair back.
She leaned closer and whispered, “By the way, are you going for Fiona or for the puppies?”
His lips twitched. “Maybe both?”
Her laughter rang out across the table. “I’m delighted to hear that,” she said. “Go have fun.” She turned back to her father.
Finn realized the discussion at the table didn’t include him now and struggled to his feet with his crutches and then made his way downstairs, wondering if he could seriously do anything to help Stan or Fiona or the mother dog or if he would be in the way. The stairs were a challenge, so he took the elevator and dropped down to the veterinarian clinic. When he made his way in through the double doors, he stopped, stunned to see Fiona curled up in a corner with two of the tiniest black puppies possible in her arms, sleeping. Eyedroppers were beside her.
He turned to one of the vet assistants and said, “I heard helping hands were needed.”
The woman—her uniform name tag read Babette—looked up at him and smiled. “I think all five puppies are okay for the moment, but, if you want to come and love one,” she said, “we’re more than happy to have that happen. Then we’re gonna tuck them back up against Mom.”
He glanced over to see Fiona’s eyes open, staring at him, the depth of her gaze full of love and emotion from seeing and holding these puppies.
He accepted the tiny bundle as soon as he was seated beside her. He cuddled it close and whispered to it constantly. “It’s okay, little one. It’s been a rough beginning, but you’ll make it.” The little guy didn’t even murmur. He just curled up as much as he could, seeking warmth, and slept. Finn glanced at the puppies nestled high on Fiona’s bosom and smiled. “Your two look very happy.”
“They’re adorable,” she said in the softest of voices. “New life like this, it’s so precious.”
“I can’t argue with that,” he said. “They’ve had a rough time of it, but, with any luck, they’ll be fine.”
“I’m hoping so,” she said, reaching up to gently stroke one, then the other. “They don’t take in very much food at a time, so they have to be fed on a regular basis.”
“Are you gonna get up and come down later and feed them?”
“I think I will,” she said. “It depends on how many volunteers they need. I’ll come back before bed anyway and do one more round and then see.”
“Do all five have to be done at once, or can they be done in rounds?”
Babette answered, “Two of us can handle five babies,” she said. “They don’t take very long to feed. So, if need be, I can do it myself.”
“And Stan said he was gonna stick around close because of Mom?” Fiona said.
Babette nodded. “Mom’s really struggling. She may have to go back into surgery, but we’re gonna do our best to not have to.”
Just then Stan came back out, looked at the puppies and smiled. “That’s what they need, warmth, love, food, and as much time as they can have.”
“How is she?”
“She’s holding,” he said. “I’m cautiously hopeful. Depends if she can make it through tonight.”
“Right,” Fiona said. She looked over at the little guy in Finn’s arms. “This guy seems quite content too.”
Finn stared down at the little one. He was curled up in the crook of Finn’s arm, high on his chest. It wasn’t the most comfortable position for him, but he couldn’t have cared less while gently stroking the velvety-soft ears, looking at the tiny little face. “Hard to believe these guys are gonna be labs.”
“They’re just all wrinkled-up pieces of love at the moment,” Stan said. “If you guys want to give them back to Babette, I’ll put them in with Mom.”
“Is it safe to leave her with them?”
“In this case, yes, and Babette will sit in there and will do her work beside Mom and babies. Babette can keep an eye on Mom. These little guys won’t really move much right now, and the closer they are to Mom, the better.”
Babette came out so they could hand off the puppies to her. Finn looked at the huge female black lab, tubes coming and going from her, obvious stitches showing on her shaven belly, and even a cast on a back leg. She looked to be in seriously rough shape, but it was almost like something about her softened when the puppies were tucked up against her. He imagined that, if she was aware in any way,
she’d consider this part of the reward for trying to survive. He looked at Babette. “Do we know anything about what happened?”
“No,” she said. “Somebody saw her get hit by a vehicle. They picked her up, put her in the truck bed and brought her in. The fact that we got her as soon as we did is the good news, but we haven’t located an owner yet.”
“If there is one,” Fiona said.
“Too often there isn’t, or, if there is, they don’t want to admit it, in case they get stuck with the vet bill.”
“And do you run a lot of charity work through here?” Finn asked.
“We do, indeed, and Dani funnels a lot of financial assistance to us as well,” Babette said. “It’s the only way to help those who don’t have anybody to help them.”
As soon as he handed his pup off, Finn felt bereft.
Fiona gave a heavy sigh. “I didn’t want to hand them over,” she confessed as soon as Babette disappeared with her two.
“I know,” he said, “I was just thinking that. Like there’s a hole in my heart already.”
She looked up and smiled. “Sad, isn’t it?”
“I think it’s good,” he said in all seriousness. “Think about it. Somebody needs to love these little guys.”
“They all deserve love. We all do,” she said firmly. She moved toward the door. “Are you coming, or are you staying here?”
“I’m coming,” he said. With his crutches once again under his arms, he followed her down the hallway. She stopped, looked outside and said, “I don’t know where you’re going, but I’m gonna go outside and visit with Lovely and Appie. They’re right there at the fence again.”
“Perfect idea,” he said. His mind buzzed with the picture that he’d seen of Fiona holding the babies. Part of him itched to return to his room and sketch her in that pose, but drawing a picture of her versus spending time with her? Well, there was really no contest. Outside with the animals, he laughed at Lovely’s antics as she danced with joy at seeing them. As soon as they were close, she came over and shoved her face through the rails. Appie, not to be outdone, came too.
