Guarding His Heart

by R. Cayden

  “Anything new?” Seb asked, turning from his laptop. He was wearing a collared blue shirt, worn loose at the top, and his hair was neatly combed. Declan remembered how nice it had felt to hold his body all night, between trips to check security, and something stirred alive inside of him.

  He dropped the paper to the counter. “Not much, except more proof that this Reed guy is bad news.” He shook his head, battling down frustration that Big Paolo had played him like a fool.

  “Is the rest of the security up front okay?” Seb asked.

  Declan nodded. “My nephew is running their names one more time for us, but things look fine, at least for the time being. They’re not very experienced, but no one is going to turn around and make a move on the house or anything like that. It might make sense to contact your father, though, and tell him what’s up.”

  Seb shook his head quickly. “Absolutely not. He’s as bad as the rest of them.”

  “Right.” Declan wasn’t going to argue that one. Hell, he was as eager to tell Seb’s father to shove off as Seb was. But if the man was profiting off of Seb’s research, he at least had a vested interested in keeping his son safe. Still, Declan wasn’t going to argue. That was Seb’s call to make.

  “We’ll see if he even notices I’ve stopped talking to him,” Seb said, then sighed.

  “Sorry about the turn this took,” Declan said. He and Seb were only a couple of feet away, but still, he stood a little closer. “I know this is a big loss for you.”

  Seb closed his laptop. “Even worse than it looks,” he mumbled.

  “What’s that?”

  “It’s just the research… I was so certain I was close to a big breakthrough. My results were getting more and more promising every month. I really believed I was there, on the edge of something major. But now? Now I’m going to see those same results announced by Horizon Zed, assuming they don’t decide to just gobble up all the patents and bury the technology so no one can have it. It’s like everything I accomplished just disappeared.”

  Declan rested his hand on Seb’s back and rubbed it in a slow circle. He didn’t think of himself as being much for comfort, but he did know how he liked to be treated when he was pissed off. “They’re a bunch of assholes,” he said, affirming Seb. “Only a dick would steal work from someone like you.”

  “It sucks,” Seb said flatly. “They’re always going to have the power, and people like me are always going to get squished. It doesn’t even matter, really, whether it’s my father who stole my research for his corporation or those criminals, stealing it for some other asshole in a suit. Either way, I’m kicked to the side, and they get to move on, happy and rich.”

  Declan felt Seb’s muscles tightening across his shoulders. Since his visit with Gray, Declan had been carrying around a lot of shame, knowing that Big Paolo and Reed saw him as some washed-up fool. It wasn’t the kind of thing he wanted to share with anyone, but right then, he somehow knew it would help Seb.

  “I learned something else when I visited my nephew,” he said.

  Seb turned to look up at him, and Declan’s breath caught in his throat when he saw the quiver across Seb’s lip and his wide, clear eyes. “What’s that?” he asked.

  “The man who hired me out in Vegas? It was another part of the setup with Reed. They wanted someone who had passed his prime, someone to fumble the ball and let the intruders get away.”

  “What?” Seb asked. “But you fought them off both times. Why—”

  Declan held a hand in the air. “They see me one way,” he said simply. “You see me another way. But that’s my point. Whoever it is that’s reading over your research right now, stealing your ideas? Fuck ‘em. It doesn’t matter what they think of you. You’ll show them the truth once you finish your work.”

  Seb shook his head. “I’m not so sure about that.”

  Declan took Seb’s chin and turned his eyes up. “You will. You were on the verge of one big breakthrough? I might not know the first thing about what you’re studying, but I do know you. You’ll have a million breakthroughs, Seb, and they’ll still just be a bunch of pathetic suits, leeching off other people’s work.”

  Seb’s eyes widened, and a smile turned up one corner of his mouth. “I do have a lot of good ideas…”

  Declan barked out a laugh. “You sure as hell do.” His voice came out thin, and he turned his head to cough into his arm.

  “Oh my god,” Seb said.

  “What?” Declan asked.

  “I just realized… did you quit smoking?”

  Declan grimaced. He supposed he was glad Seb didn’t notice how agitated he had been the last couple of days, but he’d have much preferred to do something like quitting cigarettes in private. “Just trying something different out,” he grumbled.

  Seb blinked quickly. “Are you quitting smoking for me?” he asked.

  Declan turned away, suddenly a little embarrassed for himself. “Trust me,” he said to try to change the subject. “I do things for myself.”

  “I believe that,” Seb said with a soft, warm laugh. “Anyway. Thanks for quitting smoking for yourself.”

  Declan grunted a laugh back. “Sure. No problem.”

  When he turned back to Seb, he saw a funny look in his eyes. He always carried himself with strength, one of the first things that had attracted Declan to him. Even when he was in danger or worn down, it was still clear that Seb knew himself. But now, there was something fiercer than that passing through his vision, something even stronger.

  “I’ve got to do things for myself, too,” Seb said. “I’m the only one who can take responsibility for my life.”

  “That’s right,” Declan said. “Nothing like taking your destiny in your hands, kid.”

  Seb shook his head, then smiled. “Has Ellie been out lately?”

  “I was going to take her for a walk in the sun. Why? You want to come?”

  “No, thank you,” Seb said. “There’s some things I should do here. If you want to go now, though, I can make lunch while you’re out.”

  “Sure,” Declan said, surprised by the change in the conversation. “That sounds good. You don’t need me to finish reading these emails first?”

  “They can wait,” he said. “I’ve got a couple things I should finish up on the computer here, anyway.”

  Back in his jacket and outside, Declan led Ellie from the driveway and into the yard. Whatever attempts he and Seb made to find her a home had gotten pushed aside with the home invasion, and at this point, they were both acting like she was there to stay, even though they’d never had a conversation about it. She played at Declan’s feet, making these little growling noises that tickled his gut, and he tried to remind himself that she wasn’t actually his dog.

  “What do you think, Ellie? Maybe you’ll live around here with Seb for the rest of your life? That sounds pretty sweet to me.”

  With the sun still shining, he left his head uncovered and appreciated the warmth on the top of his head. The birds were calling through the trees, and Declan was relieved that there were no signs of anyone sneaking around, leaving tracks through the mud.

  “Peaceful,” he muttered to Ellie. “Don’t you think?”

  That afternoon, kicking through the mud, Declan let himself fantasize about a different kind of life with Seb. If the kid was going to make a break from his dad and start off on his own in the world, maybe Declan could be something more than just a bodyguard to him. Maybe this weird life they were living together could really be something.

  He grinned to himself, then pushed aside a heavy tree branch as he passed. He never would have thought his skills as a fighter and a bodyguard would earn him a respectable life, but the more time he spent with Seb, the more something like that seemed possible. He’d never go for the straight and narrow on his own, but with Seb in the picture, things could be different.

  He shoved his hands in his pockets, embarrassed to entertain the fantasies. That was all for later. But maybe after all this chaos passe
d, after the dust settled and the guns cooled, maybe then would be the time for something more. He might try sticking around the area for a while, take the opportunity to spend more time with Gray, even try to be a mentor and send the kid on a safer track.

  Hell, he could ask Seb on a proper date. Nothing stopping him.

  Rounding up the side of a hill, Declan stopped. He smelled something in the air, sweet and acrid at the same time. Ellie squealed at his feet, and Declan snapped to attention, the fantasy disappearing in a flash.

  Smoke.

  He jerked his head and spotted it, rising in a gray column above the house. He couldn’t see through the trees well enough to know anything else, but he did hear a loud crack, like wood snapping in two.

  “Seb,” he gasped, then scooped Ellie in his arms and starting running.

  Declan’s feet pounded the ground, slipping on the mud and sending him careening through the trees. A cold sweat covered his body as he raced through the possibilities. “What the fuck is it now?” he gasped as he ran, his words swallowed by the air.

  Fear and adrenaline were two of Declan’s oldest friends. They let him know he was alive. They made him smarter, faster, stronger. But the fear he felt when it was his own neck on the line was easy. He knew it like an old friend.

  The fear he felt when Seb was at risk? That was a motherfucker of a whole different order. After everything else that had happened, if Declan were to go and fuck it up now, he’d never forgive himself. He’d spend the rest of his life, sick with the knowledge that Big Paolo was right, and he was a horny old man, incapable of doing a job right.

  No way in fucking hell Declan was about to let that happen. He and Seb had both been betrayed by the people they trusted, but so long as they had each other, they weren’t alone.

  “Seb!” he hollered as he emerged from the path and into the driveway, his voice choking into a cry. Immediately, the heat and glare of the growing fire smacked him in the face. Orange and red flames flickered inside the laboratory, casting lights and shadows across the big windows. Plumes of black and gray smoke leaked out the sides, wrenching Declan inside out.

  “Declan!” Seb hollered from a spot safely away from the house. “I’m right here.”

  Declan’s heart dropped from his throat. He set Ellie on the ground as he ran to Seb, pulling him into an embrace. “Fuck,” he whispered, stroking the back of his head. “You’re okay.”

  “I’m fine,” Seb said quickly. When he leaned back, his face was flushed. A few tears streaked his face, but he didn’t look scared.

  “What happened? Is someone here?” Declan stepped back and reached into his jacket to place his hand on the Glock he always brought along for the walks, ready to jump into action. “What did you see?”

  “We’re fine,” Seb said. “There’s no one here. I called security up front, and the fire department is on the way.”

  A loud crash broke through the air, and a window in the laboratory clattered to the ground. The flames danced out, licking at the roof.

  Declan sprung to attention. “There’s a hose,” he said. “We can help fight it. We can still save some of your things.” Urgency shocked Declan’s gut when he thought about everything in that laboratory, all the years of work behind what Seb had accomplished.

  He had to keep it safe.

  Seb grabbed Declan’s hand, and the warm squeeze pulled him back from the edge of frenzy. He would have thrown himself into the smoke to save the place; it suddenly felt that damn precious to him. But as Seb held tight, Declan pulled his eyes away.

  “It’s too late, and it’s too dangerous,” Seb said. His voice was strained, but still clear. “The sprinklers inside will slow everything down, but there’s nothing more we can do now. Just let it go.”

  Another crashing noise from inside, and Declan shook his head, perplexed. “It’s not safe here,” he said finally, his mind returning to his most important duties. “We shouldn’t be standing in the open.”

  Seb smiled. “Good. Then take me somewhere that is safe. Take me out of here.”

  “There’s a hotel, about a forty-five-minute drive,” Declan said. “Your father has an account there we can use for emergencies.”

  “No,” Seb said quickly, flames bouncing off the pupils of his eyes. “Somewhere no one will find us, not even him.”

  Declan’s head was spinning. “Okay, Seb. Whatever you need.” Luckily, laying low was another of Declan’s specialties.

  Which was when Declan noticed the bed of his truck, packed with a few suitcases, some random plastic bags, two cardboard boxes, and a huge sack of Ellie’s dog food.

  Declan turned to Seb, then raised his eyebrow. Sirens sounded in the distance, echoing across the woods and growing louder. “You want to tell me why our stuff is safely packed up?”

  “I’ll explain later?” Seb said, almost like he was apologizing. “But don’t worry. There’s a fire guard between the two wings of the house. Your stuff should all be fine.”

  Declan narrowed his brow, worry and confusion clouding his vision. “Damn, Seb,” he said. “You going to tell me what’s going on?”

  Seb lifted Ellie. “Can we talk after the drive?” A fire truck rolled down the driveway, and Ellie squealed in response. “Right now, I just need to make a statement to the officials and get out of here.”

  Sebastian

  When Seb and Declan got to the hotel room near Niagara Falls, Seb immediately fell to the bed, spinning in the air to land on his back. Exhaustion weighed on his body, but nothing felt as heavy as the growing reality of what he had lost.

  “My research, my equipment…” He rubbed his hand across his forehead. Even with all of his careful backups, the loss was a stab in the gut, and the loss of the laboratory made him feel ungrounded.

  “The man working the desk tells us congratulations,” Declan said as he walked into the room, “and to have a happy honeymoon.” He kicked the door shut behind him. A couple of suitcases hung from his hands, and Ellie was zipped up in his jacket.

  Seb smiled, then pulled himself up on his elbows. “I guess that means we’re officially undercover.”

  Declan unloaded Ellie to the floor, then gestured over his shoulder. “So many people coming and going around here, no one ever remembers each other. We’ll be good. You going to tell me what happened back at the house now?”

  Seb sighed. When they were standing in front of the fire, he hadn’t really been able to think. But now that they were safely away, he kept wondering about different things in the house. Would the recipe book in the kitchen have survived? His favorite pillow?

  Declan grabbed a bottle of beer from the six pack he had picked up, then sat on the bed beside Seb. Seb scooted himself a little closer, drawn to the gravity of Declan’s warmth, eager to inhale his musky scent again. In a deep, physical way, Seb wanted Declan. He wanted to share everything with him, every thought and fear that swirled through his head. It was like the desire to talk was alive on his skin.

  But he still saw the flames of the actual fire, too.

  He still felt his life burning up, his past disintegrated. He opened his mouth and closed it again, trying to find the words that would make sense to Declan, that would explain the irrational, impulsive thing he had done.

  “I’ll take that as a no,” Declan said. His voice was steady, not unkind, but still clearly disappointed. “A lot of people been keeping me in the dark, Seb, but I didn’t think you would be one of them,” he said, then took a drink of his beer. “I’m no good that way. No good at all.”

  Seb winced at the words, stung. He never would have had the courage to act if he had thought his plan through and calculated out the risks. And now, it all seemed so blurry, like his own grip on reality had been lost in the smoke.

  “Declan,” he whispered. “I’ll explain everything. I promise I will. I just… I need a little more time.” He swallowed, then finally caved to his desire and pressed his body close to Declan’s, curling up against the older man’s muscles.
“I’m just not done yet. There’s more I have to do.”

  Declan grunted, and Seb felt the rumble of his voice in his chest. “You take your time,” he said, then squeezed his arm around Seb’s shoulder, sending trembles of pleasure down Seb’s spine. Declan rose to his feet, breaking the spell of his touch, and headed to the window. He parted the blinds with his fingers, peering out across the parking lot. “I’ll keep watch as long as you need. You can count on that.”

  “Thank you,” Seb said, standing up. Tears welled at the corners of his eyes, and his breath felt torn in his chest. The need he had for Declan only grew stronger, fiercer, as the foundations of his life turned to ash.

  One big sacrifice. Seb just prayed it was worth it.

  Stress ached in Declan’s eyes as he stared at Seb. “Just tell me that you lit the fire, Seb. Tell me that much, and I’ll be able to rest.”

  “Yes,” Seb said, the words tumbling out. “I did.”

  He felt like a ghost passed through his body. It didn’t sound like something he would do, yet he knew it was true, and saying it to Declan made it all the more real.

  Declan let out a puff of air, then leaned his forehead against the doorframe. “Shit, Seb,” he said. He lifted his beer for a drink, then cursed again. “That could have gone a lot of different ways, you know that?” He turned back, and Seb was shocked to see the strain across his eyes, like a tear might leak out. “You don’t know how risky that was.”

  Seb’s heart ripped. He’d hurt Declan. He could see the pain, and for just a moment, that made him regret it all.

  “Declan,” he said, standing up again. “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you first.”

  Declan shook his head, then grabbed his jacket as he stood and stepped away. “It’s fine,” he mumbled, unconvincingly. “But I should go for a walk, scope this place out.” He kept his eyes toward the door as he held his phone up, shaking it. “Call me if you need me.”