by Regan Ure
My mind began to shut down and I felt disconnected from my body. It was too much to deal with. Damien carried me upstairs to my bedroom and set me down gently on the bed, but I just lay there, staring past him. I felt numb. I saw Damien talk to me, but I heard nothing. All I could hear was the echo of my heart beating in my ears.
In my peripheral vision I saw him talking on the phone while he paced up and down beside my bed. Grant knew where I was. The fear that gripped me nearly took my breath away, because I knew he wasn't finished with me. The message had been received loud and clear: he was going to come back and finish what he'd started. I began to shake so violently that my teeth chattered.
"I don't know what's happening to her, mom… I think she might be in shock," Damien said frantically into the phone.
He paused, listening. "Okay," he said, and then he put his phone back into his pocket.
I felt the bed dip as he sat on the bed beside me and pulled me into his arms.
"I won't let him get you," Damien quietly promised as he rubbed my back gently. Desperate to believe his words, I closed my eyes.
The next few hours passed in a blur. Damien made me drink sugar water, and it eased the shaking. Amy was the first one to arrive home.
"Haven," she gasped with frantic concern when she entered my room. Damien let go of me and shifted off the bed as she sat down on my bed and hugged me. It was a warm and loving hug, a mother's hug. I sank into her embrace and took the comfort she offered. When she pulled back, she scanned my face.
"It'll be all right," she assured me. Her wide, expressive eyes made me believe her.
By the time Steven arrived home I was exhausted. Amy gave me something to help calm me and it began to make me sleepy. She pulled my curtains closed and said she'd check on me a little later.
Damien stayed with me. I was too scared to be on my own. He lay on his back and my head rested on his chest as his arm wrapped around me and held me protectively. In his safe arms, I fell asleep, but my dreams made me restless and a couple of hours later I woke up sweating and twisted in my bed covers, alone.
I climbed out of my bed and went to look for Damien. A soft knock to his bedroom door went unanswered. He had to be downstairs. When I went downstairs I heard his voice coming from the kitchen. As I approached, I heard Amy say my name. I stopped, wanting to hear what they said about me.
"The cops can't give her the protection she needs," said Damien, clearly upset.
"We'll organize something," Steven murmured.
"What did the cops have to say?" Damien asked his mom.
"Detective Green said they are working as hard as they can to find him."
"I can't believe it's been nearly two weeks and they haven't got any closer to catching him!" Damien exploded.
"Calm down, son," barked Steven. Then, in a more gentle tone, he said, "Getting upset about it isn't going to help things."
"Your father is right," Amy reinforced gently.
"Detective Green thinks that when Haven's mom died suddenly, it was too much for her stepfather to deal with and he had some sort of mental breakdown. It could explain why, after years of abusing her, it had suddenly escalated.”
"They are following up all the leads they have but he said it takes time. It also doesn't help that the stepfather isn't mentally stable, so it's hard to predict what he'll do next."
I nearly laughed hysterically. It just didn't end. I dropped my head into my hands, feeling defeated.
"We will keep her safe," Steven assured Damien.
Having heard enough, I crept back to my bedroom.
Not only was I scared to death of Grant and what he was capable of, I was scared of all the trouble I was causing the Knights. What if having me in their home caused them more trouble than they were willing to deal with? Would they get rid of me? I'd started to ease into life with them and I had begun to care for them, despite my fears. I wouldn't recover if they decided I was too much trouble.
When I heard Damien creep back into my bedroom a little later I pretended to be asleep as he climbed into my bed and I felt him pull me into his arms. He pressed a soft kiss to my forehead and tightened his hold on me for a moment. I was wound up so tight with all of my fears that I doubted I would sleep a wink even when I was nicely cocooned in Damien's embrace all night.
Another growing fear that ate away at me was that I was spending more and more time with Damien, and it was getting harder to keep my heart closed off from him.
CHAPTER TWENTY
Haven
A new level of fear set in after the incident. It didn’t matter what I was doing, I couldn’t help the thought that Grant could be watching me, and I was always on my guard.
The next day Amy pleaded with me to stay home, but I refused. I wasn’t going to let the incident keep me a prisoner in my new home. It felt like if I let the fear rule me, then, in a way, Grant was winning, and I couldn’t let that happen. As scared as I was, I got dressed, got my schoolbag and went to school with Damien. If he was protective before, he was practically smothering me now. I couldn’t blame him, but I felt like my whole situation was taking over his life and I didn’t think it was fair.
He’d slept in my bed that night, holding me close. I knew what was happening, but I couldn’t pull myself away from his warm embrace. Instead, I burrowed deeper, trying to ignore the warning signs going off in my head. It was like watching an accident unfold and being unable to pull my gaze away from it.
Damien walked me into the school and to the lockers, where I spotted Chris leaning against mine.
“Hi,” I greeted as he straightened up and flashed me a warm smile.
“You kept me waiting this morning,” he said with a teasing tone.
“Yeah, sorry about that,” I replied as I opened my locker. Normally when Chris was around, Damien would leave, but today he stayed by my side.
I turned to face him and told him, “I’ll be fine, I’m with Chris.”
His eyes rested on Chris for a moment and then he looked at me. I could see that he was wrestling with his decision.
“Okay,” he finally relented. “I’ll see you later.”
I watched him turn and walk down the hallway, disappearing in the crowd of students filtering into the school.
“What’s that all about?” Chris asked when I turned back to my locker.
I let out a heavy sigh. I just wanted to be able to forget about what had happened yesterday, but it wasn’t going to happen.
“When I got home yesterday, there was a message from Grant on the garage door,” I said calmly, even though I felt the fear creep in.
“A message from Grant?” he gasped. I had his undivided attention.
“Yes. He wrote ‘whore’ on the garage door with the neighbors’ dead cat’s blood,” I answered with a calmness I didn’t feel.
“Oh. My. God,” he said as he touched my arm.
“Yeah,” I replied, keeping my attention on my schoolbooks in my locker.
“He knows where you live.” He said it more to himself than to me.
I nodded my head. If it wasn’t for the fact that the Knights had state-of-the-art security inside the house, I wouldn’t be able to sleep at night. The fact that Damien slept beside me helped.
Amy had mentioned to me that they were looking into installing extra security on the property and the surrounding wall to keep intruders out. I wasn’t sure that would be enough to keep Grant away from me, but I appreciated the thought. She also said something about the cops making arrangements to watch over me.
“Why are you so calm? If I were in your shoes, I’d be freaking out,” Chris asked, watching me carefully.
“I might sound calm, but I’m not… I can’t just give up and hide out in my room hoping he won’t get me.”
I stuffed the books I needed into my bag as I closed my locker and turned to face Chris.
“If I give up, he wins,” I stated feeling a little emotional.
“You’re right,” he said as he loo
ped his arm around mine and we started to walk to class. “If you need anything you can phone me anytime, even if it’s just to talk.”
He’d offered countless times but I wasn’t ready to talk about the stuff that had happened with Grant. I’d never talked to anyone about it, and I wasn’t sure if I would ever be ready.
“So when can I come visit?” he asked, which made me feel relieved because he’d effectively changed the subject.
He’d been dying to visit since I’d moved in. Everyone knew the Knights were loaded, and he wanted to see the house.
“I’ll need to speak to the Knights first,” I replied. I needed to make sure it was okay with the Knights before I started inviting people around.
“Sure, no problem,” he replied when we came to a stop outside my first class for the day. “I’ll see you at lunch.”
He gave me a hug and hurried down the hall to his class. Walking into my class and sitting down, I noticed some people still staring at me. I still couldn’t get used to the jealous glares from some of the girls. I was still getting some sympathetic looks as well, but I wished people would just ignore me like they had before.
Students filtered into the class as I gazed outside the window. I heard the chair next to me scrape, and I turned to see a guy I’d never seen before sit down in the seat next to me. When he caught my eye he smiled as he dropped his bag next to the table.
My breath caught in my throat. He was gorgeous. He had dark brown hair that reached just below his ears and the most beautiful emerald green eyes, surrounded with long dark eyelashes. His smile widened as I gaped at him. As his smile widened, dimples appeared in his cheeks. It was a lethal combination and I struggled to swallow when I felt the full effect of his eyes on me. I pulled my eyes away from him and tucked my hair behind my ear, nervously trying to ignore the hot guy still staring at me.
“Hi, I’m Mark,” he said, introducing himself.
My eyes shot back to him.
“I’m Haven,” I replied softly.
“Nice to meet you, Haven,” he said before he sent me another devastating smile.
I shifted in my seat, letting my gaze drop to my textbook in front of me, trying to ignore him, but I could still feel his eyes on me. I sighed with relief when the teacher finally entered the classroom and started the lesson. Even through the lesson I felt his eyes on me more than a couple of times. I used my hair like a curtain to keep myself hidden from him.
When the bell rang I shoved my book into my school bag and dashed out of the class to get away from him. It was all for nothing because in my next class I looked up and saw him sitting a couple of seats away from me. It was impossible to ignore him. By the time the lunchtime bell went I was looking forward to escaping him for a while.
Chris was seated in our usual spot when I dropped down to sit next to him.
“Have you seen the new student?” he said, beginning to gossip.
“Let me guess, dark brown hair and dimples and his name is Mark,” I replied dryly.
“I take it you’ve met him already,” he said. “I saw him briefly and I have to admit, I think he is going to give Damien some competition with the girls.”
My stomach dropped. I didn’t want to see Damien with another girl.
“Damien’s worried about you,” he revealed softly as he opened up his lunch bag.
My eyes shot to his.
“How do you know that?” I asked, wanting to know the details.
“He told me. He also asked me to keep an eye on you when he wasn’t around,” he answered.
I wasn’t sure how I felt about that. On one hand I got a warm and fuzzy feeling inside at the fact that he felt worried and protective about me; but then, on the other hand, I felt disappointed because no matter how much he cared it would never be enough.
“I haven’t seen Damien with any other girls, you know,” Chris said. It was like he could read me like a book.
“It doesn’t matter, he can’t give me what I want,” I said, reinforcing myself. “So he can do anything he wants with, with whomever he wants.”
It didn’t matter how many times I told myself I didn’t care; the fact was that I did more and more every day.
“What do you think about the new guy?” Chris asked, steering the subject away from Damien. I gave him a questioning look as he broached the new subject.
“He seems nice,” he added. My forehead furrowed when I realized what Chris was getting at.
“I’m not sure I’m ready to put myself out there yet,” I said with a shrug. Damien was the one that made the butterflies flutter in my stomach. He was the one that held me in his arms at night and made me feel safe.
“You were ready to try with Damien,” he reminded me softly.
He was right, but Damien was different.
“I know Damien.” It was a weak excuse and even I knew that.
“There was a time when you didn’t, and now you do. I’m not telling you to run off and marry Mark, but try have a conversation with him,” he advised. “You can’t keep yourself closed off from everybody. Look at us. When we first met, you weren’t interested in allowing yourself to interact or feel for other people, and look at us now. If I hadn’t persevered, we wouldn’t be friends. I’m not telling you to stalk the guy like I stalked you,” he teased lightly.
I couldn’t help but smile, because that was how he’d wormed his way into my heart.
“Just keep yourself open to the idea, ” he continued. “Have a conversation and see where it leads.”
“Okay,” I relented. “I’ll try.”
I wasn’t good with people. The only reason I had Chris and Damien in my life was because they’d practically barged in, set up shop, and refused to leave.
Honestly I had no idea how to interact with people, and just the thought of talking to Mark made me feel nervous, but Chris was right—I had to learn how to interact with people.
I spent rest of lunchtime quietly contemplating what I would say to Mark. By the time I left Chris to walk to my next class, anything that I’d thought up sounded pathetic.
Chris was right, Mark was the only boy in the school to give Damien competition when it came to the girls, so it didn’t surprise me when I saw him talking to Angela as I passed them in the hallway on the way to my next class. I felt a little disappointed, because there was no way I could compare with a girl like Angela, so I decided there was no point in trying to start up a conversation with him.
I was the first one in the class, so I sat down and got my schoolbook out. I began to doodle on the paper with a pen while I waited for the teacher.
“Hi.” I turned to see Mark sitting at the desk next to me. He flashed me that devastating smile of his which accentuated his dimples. I felt nervous.
Damien made me feel hot and cold at the same time and my stomach fluttered every time he looked at me or touched me. When Mark looked at me I felt nervously aware of him and nervous that there was no doubt that he was gorgeous.
“Hi,” I replied, taken a little off guard because I hadn’t even heard him sit down next to me. All the things I had prepared in my mind before evaporated, and I stared at him blankly.
“You’re not much of a talker, are you,” he said, leaning back in his chair, his eyes still firmly on me.
I blushed slightly at the directness of his stare. His confidence would make most girls go weak at the knees. I shook my head in response to his question and, unable to hold his gaze, I dropped my eyes back to the doodle I’d been drawing with my pen.
The teacher entered the class at that moment and began the lesson. I tried to concentrate on what the teacher was saying, but I was hyperaware of the fact that Mark was still watching me. As much as I wanted to dash out of the class as soon as the lesson ended, I made myself take my time putting my stuff into my bag as Mark did the same beside me.
“Can I walk you to your next class?” he asked as I hitched my bag strap over my shoulder.
“Sure,” I replied softly, and we wal
ked side by side out of the classroom.
“I hear you were the new girl not so long ago?” he asked casually.
“Yes,” I mumbled. I didn’t want to be reminded of a time that I was living in fear on a daily basis.
“What happened to your arm?” he asked. I glanced down at my cast. I couldn’t exactly tell him the truth.
“I had an accident,” I lied.
“Who was the guy you were sitting with at lunch?” he said, continuing his questioning.
“Chris,” I replied, feeling more nervous.
“And Chris is…?”
“My friend,” I answered, shooting him a glance. He smiled at my answer.
“Good.”
He had all the same classes I had, so he walked me to each class, asking me more questions. Did I have any siblings? Where had I lived before I’d moved here? Some of the questions made me feel uncomfortable, but I tried to answer them as best I could. School had finished and I was standing at the entrance waiting for Damien and Mark had been standing with me when he asked me one particular question that I didn’t know how to answer.
“So, what does your mom do?” he asked, an innocent question.
I couldn’t even remember what her occupation had been before she’d spiraled out of control.
“I don’t like to talk about my family,” I answered softly, dropping my gaze.
“Sorry, I didn’t mean to pry,” he replied. “I just want to get to know you better.”
My eyes flickered to his and I felt a little hot and cold under his serious stare. Why would he want to get to know me better?
“Haven.”
Damien saying my name snapped me out of my moment with Mark.
“Hi,” I said to Damien, but his attention wasn’t on me, he was looking at Mark—well, glaring at him.
“Hi, I’m Mark,” Mark said.
Damien continued to glare at him and then muttered, “Damien.”
“I’ve got to go,” I said to Mark.
“Sure, I’ll see you tomorrow,” he replied, flashing a smile.
“See you tomorrow,” I replied. Mark walked down the stairs to the car park.
