Things between us changed after that Christmas. I don’t know exactly, but there was a tension. Don’t get me wrong. We were still completely in love. But there was a heavy weight hanging over us. Reminding us that the clock was ticking and we weren’t solving our real problem.
After three long months of worry. Things were finally brought to a head by the U.S. Postal Service. Jade and I were sitting on the couch watching Buck play HALO. I can still remember my hand resting on her waist. The scent of strawberry and coconut surrounding me.
Mom came through the door with a worried look on her face. A pile of envelopes in one hand a single envelope in the other.
“It’s here,” she said holding it up. “From Harvard.”
My heart stopped as I swallowed hard. This was it. A lifetime of effort. Late nights and missed opportunities.
Jade’s eyes were big with worry as she watched my shaking fingers open the envelope.
The Harvard Letterhead filled me with dread. No way would they accept me. It wasn’t possible.
“Come on Bro,” Buck said pulling me back to reality.
I quickly scanned the letter. And there it was, “We are pleased to accept …”
All I could do was sit there in shock as I reread their acceptance. Buck rolled his eyes. “Well?”
I looked at Jade and smiled. “I’m in. They accepted me.”
She squealed and threw her hands around my neck. “I’m so proud of you,” she said but she couldn’t completely hide the worry and fear in her eyes. What did this mean? How could I do this? It was ridiculous. Every part of my heart told me that leaving Jade was wrong.
“What’s this,” Mom said as she held up a second envelope. My breath caught as I recognized the University of Washington logo. “Why did you apply to UW?” she asked. “I thought we agreed that you would only apply to Ivy League schools?”
I swallowed hard. Jade frowned then scooted away from me as she studied me closely.
“Um… Harvard is so expensive. I thought … Maybe I might go to UW instead.”
Jade jumped up and placed her hands on her hips. “This is because of me. Isn’t it?” she demanded.
“Listen, Princess,” I said as I tried to hold her.
She shrugged away from me and punched a finger into my chest. “Don’t you Princess me. I told you. I would never be the reason you didn’t go to Harvard. That was the deal.”
“Jade …” I started.
“No,” she said forcibly. “That is it.” Then taking a deep breath, she said the words that broke my heart. “I can’t be your girlfriend anymore. We’re done.”
Mom gasped. Buck sort of scooted out of the room. But all I could see was the girl I loved glaring at me.
“Jade,” I pleaded.
“No Parker,” she said with fierce determination. “It has to be this way. I won’t have you regretting me. Regretting us. This is your chance. You one chance.”
“We can figure something out. I promise,” I told her as I desperately tried to understand what was happening to me.
“No, we can’t. I know you, Parker. You will sacrifice everything for other people. That is what you do. But I won’t let it happen. Not this. No. And don’t get any stupid ideas about going to UW and convincing me to change my mind. We are through. Get it! So, you might as well go to Harvard.”
I could only stare at her. My mind was blank. It was her eyes that told me the truth. She would never accept anything less than me going away. She was willing to ruin us. Ruin what we had to force me to follow my dreams.
“It’s been nice knowing you, Parker,” Jade said. “I hope you have a nice life. You deserve it.” Then she turned and started to leave. My mom reached out for her. Jade stopped for a moment and I thought she might have wavered. But instead, she hugged my mom and said, “Thank you for teaching me what a mother is supposed to be like.”
Then she was gone and my world came to a crashing halt.
Chapter Thirteen
Jade
It was my anger that allowed me to hold back the tears until I got to Mrs. Thompson’s house. He actually thought he could get away with that crap. Turning down Harvard. The stupidity of the boy surprised me.
Of course, I had no sooner opened the door when the universe crashed in on me. I had just dumped Parker Benson, in front of his family no less. What kind of fool did that make me?
My heart ached as I began the biggest ugly cry of my life. He was gone. My Parker. I had known this would happen. But … secretly, deep down. I had always hoped … oh well, it didn’t matter what I dreamt about at night. This was the real world and this was the only way.
Monday morning, as I rode the bus, I fought with a dozen different emotions. Regret, sadness, anger, hope, and pure anguish. It had to be this way I told myself. But that didn’t stop the pain consuming me.
As I walked through the halls, I couldn’t help but notice the looks of self-satisfaction girls gave me. The news had traveled fast. They gave me that look that said, see, you aren’t any better than the rest of us. But they were easy to ignore. I had more serious issues to deal with.
I continued to my locker in a daze, secretly afraid that Parker would see me. How was I supposed to act? Pretend he wasn’t there. It seemed so wrong. This wasn’t his fault. I had known going in what would happen. He’d never lied to me. Should I smile at him? Let him know that I didn’t hate him.
Could we be friends? I wondered. Oh, how I wished we could still be friends. Parker was the best friend I had ever had. Losing him hurt on so many different levels.
What if he approached me? Begged me to reconsider. My heart fluttered with hope. No, I told myself. I couldn’t be weak. Not with this. I had to stand firm. For Parker.
It wasn’t Parker that approached me. Instead, Buck cornered me at my locker, leaning his shoulder against the row of lockers and looking at me like I was an injured dog by the side of the road.
“You okay?” he asked.
“I’m fine,” I lied.
He snorted as if he didn’t believe me.
I sighed heavily. I hadn’t just lost Parker. I had lost the Benson family. Buck had become like the brother I had never had. And now all of that was gone.
“Did Parker send you to check on me. That would be so like him. Worried about other people.”
He scoffed and shook his head. “My brother has been in hell for the last two days. But no. I just wanted to make sure you were okay.”
Closing my eyes, I tried to gather myself. I had to do this. There was no other way.
“Listen, Buck. It has to be this way. I know your brother. He would charge hell with a bucket of water if someone needed help.”
Buck laughed then nodded. “Your right. It’s a little aggravating. But really Jade. I like you. You were good for him. Better than he deserved. I just wanted to make sure you are okay. He’s got me, Mom. You …”
“I’m fine Buck. Really. I knew this was coming.”
Buck looked down at me with a sadness that surprised me. Then the last bell rang and we had to hurry to our classes. As we separated, I reached out and stopped him.
“Thank you,” I said as I lifted up to kiss him on the cheek. “I just hope you can find something like Parker and I had. No matter what, it was worth it.”
He smiled sadly then pulled himself up straight and shook his head. “I’m not a one girl type guy. Life’s too short.”
I snorted because I could see in the back of his eyes that he didn’t believe it himself.
It was late that afternoon before I saw Parker. We passed each other in the hall. When he saw me, he hesitated for a moment, then gave me a weak smile and a quick nod of his head before going on.
My heart broke and I hurried into the girls’ bathroom to cry in a back stall. I was lost. It was over. Really, it was over.
That became my life. Alone. Sitting in class with a soul in torment.
Mrs. Thompson tried to cheer me up. But there was no one else. No best friend to shar
e my pain. No mother to tell me that it would pass. No father to offer to go beat him up. It was just me. All alone.
I stumbled through April and into May. Of course, I didn’t go to the Prom. I heard that Parker didn’t go either. Even though it was expected of the school body president. We avoided each other as best as possible. I got more hours at the pet store and I kept Mrs. Thompson company. That was my new life.
Graduation was an agonizing day. Neither my mother or father cared enough to come. Mrs. Benson though, pulled me aside and stared into my eyes for a long second.
“I’m proud of you,” she said and I could tell she meant it. “If you ever need anything. I’m here for you, honey. Understand?”
I didn’t cry. I was done crying. But my soul was crushed as I tried to smile and thank her.
Mrs. Thompson sat next to Mrs. Benson and Buck. The only people in my corner. Parker gave a speech. My insides tightened up. The boy was so handsome. So commanding, up behind that podium. The audience in the palm of his hand. But I didn’t hear a word. I was lost in a tumble of memories and fears about the future.
And then it was over. School. Just like that. One minute I am a student with a set of expectations and rules. The next I am an adult with no plan and no idea what happens next. The one saving grace was the fact that I now knew I would never have to see Parker again.
My heart tore into a thousand pieces as I realized it really was over. He would go to Harvard and I would go on with my life. Maybe I should move to Seattle. Maybe I could become lost in the big city.
These and a thousand other thoughts flashed through me. My future would not include Parker, I realized. For the rest of my life. It would be without Parker in it.
Sighing, I accepted reality and straightened my shoulders. This was the first day of the rest of my life. I needed to learn to live with it.
.o0o.
Parker
This was it. The car was packed. Mom was inside crying. Buck had punched me in the shoulder for the last time. This was it. Leaving one life behind and starting something new.
I looked up the street at Mrs. Thompson’s house. Should I stop and say goodbye to Jade? My heart told me to do it. Maybe I could get closure. But my head told me no.
I couldn’t open up that world of hurt again.
No, I needed to cut it off clean and move on. Of course, that didn’t stop me from slowing down as I passed the house. What was she doing? I wondered. A thought I had a million times over the last two months.
What was she doing? What was she thinking? Was she okay? Did she hate me?
A movement behind a curtain made me hesitate. No, I told myself. I couldn’t stop. Instead, I worked my way out of town. Driving by Sam’s diner, school, the baseball fields of my little league years.
Wow, I was really doing this.
As the last building sank out of view behind me. I took a deep breath and made my way to I-90 and the mountains. I was over the pass and halfway to Yakima when I couldn’t do it anymore. I pulled off into a gas station and looked behind me.
What was I doing? This was the stupidest thing in the world. Setting my jaw, I pulled onto the highway, headed west. I had to try or I would doubt myself for the rest of my life.
Chapter Fourteen
Jade
He was gone. I had watched all morning as he loaded his car. I had hidden behind the curtain as he drove by. Parker was gone.
My heart hurt and I truly believed I would never be whole again. An emptiness filled me. A terrifying aloneness seeped over me as his car turned the corner and disappeared.
“Come away from the window, sweety,” Mrs. Thompson said kindly. “It won’t help.”
I sighed as I let the curtain fall back into place.
He was gone.
Trying to pretend I wasn’t falling apart. I gave her a quick smile and went to my room. I needed to think. I needed to come up with some kind of plan about the rest of my life.
Instead, I threw myself onto my bed and let the tears flow.
Mrs. Thompson’s calling pulled me out of a storm-tossed sleep. Rubbing my eyes, I stepped out of my room to discover her standing at the front door and Parker standing on the porch looking worried.
“What …”
“I need to talk to you,” he said. Mrs. Thompson looked at him, then back at me then back at him and smiled.
“I’ll make tea,” she said as she scooted her walker past me. As she passed, she reached out and patted my hand. But I didn’t really register it. All I could see was Parker standing there. His wide shoulders filling up the space.
“Are you okay?” I asked. He looked worried. I wondered what had happened to stop him.
He sighed heavily then nodded to the porch. “Can we talk.”
My heart stopped beating, but I managed to nod as I stepped past him. His sandalwood scent made my knees go weak. Oh, how I had missed it. How I had missed him.
“I was halfway to Yakima when I realized I had forgotten something.”
“What?” I asked hesitantly as my heart began to beat again then start to race.
“You,” he said sweetly with a frightened doubt. As if he was worried about upsetting me.
I was confused, to say the least. “I told you, Parker, I refused to ruin your dream.”
He nodded then took my hand. “Come with me to Boston. In fact … Marry me.”
“WHAT?”
He looked around, as if he were surprised he had said those words. “Come on, we can get a crappy apartment. You will work, I will get a part-time job and still go to college. I was going to have to do that anyway. And we will spend our nights wrapped up in each other’s arms.”
My brain refused to work. What was he saying? Marriage? Parker?
“We can’t, we’re too young,” I mumbled.
He laughed, “Jade. Both of us know that we are the right person for the other. We are a pair. It doesn’t matter if we become rich or poor. It doesn’t matter if I become a lawyer or not if you’re not there with me.”
“But, but … What about Mrs. Thompson?”
Suddenly the door behind me opened as Mrs. Thompson said, “Jade Macdonald. If you throw this away, I will never forgive you. The boy had just laid his heart at your feet. Don’t you dare screw this up.”
I stared at her then up at him. His brow was furrowed with worry. As if he actually believed I would ever tell him no.
“But how? Where?” I stammered.
A faint hint of hope lit his eyes when I hadn’t turned him down instantly.
“We’ll loop down to Reno. Not tell anyone, just go do it.”
“But your family.”
He smiled. “If we tell them, I know my mom. She will want months to get ready. In all honesty. I don’t have time. Besides, I sort of like the idea of honeymooning as we drive across the country.
My cheeks grew warm as I realized what that meant. An endless string of hotel rooms with Parker Benson. My insides fluttered with excitement and need.
“Are you sure?” I asked him again, unable to believe him. I didn’t doubt the future with him. I could live in a wooden box as long as Parker was there. Hey, I had lived in a boiler room after all. No, I was worried if it was the smart move. What if it slowed him down? Or worse, stopped him.”
He studied me for a long moment then dropped down to one knee.
“Miss Jade Macdonald,” he said. “Will you be my wife? Will you help me get through college and Law school? Will you stand with me when I run for office? Will you be the mother of my children? My best friend and my soulmate?”
I melted inside as I threw myself into his arms. I was going to be Parker Benson’s wife. Nothing else mattered.
Suddenly he pulled back and looked sheepishly at me then said, “Um. I don’t have a ring. I didn’t really plan this.”
I laughed, “Parker Benson, this one time you are forgiven. Just don’t let it become a habit.”
“So that is a yes?” he asked.
A burst of joy
filled me. “On one condition. No way am I leaving without telling your Mom. She would never forgive me.”
He tilted his head then sighed his acceptance. And with that, it was agreed. We would be man and wife. Parker Benson would be my man forever.
Epilogue
Jade
I pulled my coat tight for the quick walk from the restaurant where I waited tables. Boston winters were so much colder than Washington’s. Should I tell him? I wondered. It was such a critical time. The last thing Parker needed was more stress.
I smiled to myself after six years and I still quivered inside whenever I thought about him.
Tell him tomorrow, I told myself as I turned the deadbolt and let myself into our little apartment. A faint yellow glow caught my attention.
Someone had draped a white table cloth over the dining table and lit two candles.
“What’s this?” I called out.
Parker stepped out of the kitchen with my apron tied around his waist and holding one of Mrs. Thompson recipe card in his hand. The smell of spaghetti sauce filled the room.
“We’re celebrating,” he said as he grabbed a bottle of wine.
My heart fell as I mentally added that night’s tips to the bank account. We couldn’t afford this. But my heart melted when I saw the pure happiness in his eyes.
“What are we celebrating?”
He stopped then scooted down so he could look directly into my eyes at my level. “We’re moving.”
I sucked in a quick breath. “Why? We have enough for the rent.”
He laughed, then poured two glasses of wine and handed me one.
“No, I got a call from Congressman Hick’s office. They are giving me a job in D.C. All I have to do is pass the bar.”
I waved my hand, passing the bar would be easy for Parker. He never failed. Then the reality hit me. He had done it. This was his foot in the door to a political career.
Hidden Truth (The Benson Brothers Book 2) Page 8
