He nodded. “Whatever,” he said dismissively. “I have some things I need to take care of, and then we can head back.” He stood up.
Before Kenzie could respond, Zachary’s cell phone chimed, vibrating against the glass-topped coffee table. He shot her one last look before he pulled the device into his hand. “It’s my brother,” he said as he headed toward the bedroom, putting the phone to his ear.
Kenzie watched as he disappeared, closing the door behind himself. She blew a low hiss of air past her lips, a blanket of sadness settling around her shoulders.
Barbie suddenly moved to her side from where he’d been standing in the kitchen, listening. He wrapped his arms around her and hugged her tightly. “He’ll be okay. It’s going to take some time,” their friend said, his head bobbing with conviction.
“Yeah, but he’s not okay now,” she said softly. “Neither of us is, and I just want things to go back to normal.”
Barbie squeezed her hand. “You just have to stay strong for the both of you,” he said.
Kenzie gave him a slight smile. She took another deep breath, and then she headed for the front door.
* * *
“So tell me the truth,” Alexander said. “How are you really doing?”
Tired of the small talk, he put his twin on the spot, demanding an honest answer. There was a lengthy pause as Zachary pondered his question. When he didn’t respond, Alexander persisted. “What’s going on, Z? I know this hasn’t been easy for you.”
“It’s all good,” he finally responded. “I’ve been trying to hang on for Kenzie. She’s had a hard time, and things have been tense between us. But it’ll get better, right?”
“You are both mourning. That’s going to take some time. You’re trying to hold Kenzie up, but who’s holding you up?”
Zachary didn’t bother to respond, going radio silent a second time. He was grateful that his twin couldn’t see the anxiety that furrowed his brow or the tears that suddenly misted his gaze. He tried to change the subject. “I’ve been trying to get Kenzie to get back to work. She’s not writing, and I’m sure that’s not a good thing.”
Alexander changed it back. “And are you working? Have you gone back to your regular routine?”
“I’m trying. I . . . well . . . I have a lot on my plate.”
“You need to take some time for yourself, Zachary. You can’t help Kenzie if you’re falling apart yourself.”
“I’ve got this, A,” Zachary said, trying to convince himself more than his brother.
“And I’m not so sure about that. I’m worried about you, bro. I can come if you need me. You know I’ll be there.”
Zachary nodded into his receiver. “I know, and I swear, if I need you, I’ll call.”
* * *
The house was quiet. Angelika had already moved her belongings out, and nothing was left but Kai’s things. Although Zachary and Barbie had coordinated the packing of his possessions and had everything transferred to Phuket, Kenzie had insisted on taking a moment to gather a few things herself. She’d already packed the bedside photos and a shoebox full of letters that her father had written to her but never mailed.
When Zachary moved into the room, she was standing in front of his trophy wall, admiring the many belts and awards and photographs of his career wins and accomplishments. For a brief moment, he stood watching her from the doorway. There was an air of melancholy that lingered like a dark shadow behind her. Despite her efforts to shake it away, it had found sanctuary in her spirit and was holding on for dear life. He would have done anything to shoo the darkness from her, but he had no answers, and he had his own issues to contend with.
His eyes shifted from her to the wall and back, wondering what she was thinking. He would have asked, but things had been tense between them; the two had been unable to find any sense of balance with each other. He knew he was at fault for most of the disagreements that seemed to be plaguing them, but he couldn’t seem to shake the demons that had latched onto his own back. He wasn’t in the mood for another argument or even the start of one, so silence was suddenly better than gold.
He was about to turn and leave when Kenzie suddenly floated her stare in his direction. Their gazes connected and held, the two eyeing each other intently. There was an abundance of love in both their eyes but also something else that neither could identify or define. Something cool and distant and too scary to put into words. Finding it easier to push the emotion aside, they both chose to ignore it.
Kenzie was the first to speak, breaking the silence. “We’ll need to find someplace to put these. Maybe we should display them in the office.”
Zachary shrugged. “I don’t know if I want them. They can go into storage.”
“No!” Kenzie exclaimed. “You worked so hard for these. You should show them off. Share them with your family and friends!”
He moved to her side, lifting his eyes to stare where she had stared. “I’ll figure it out later,” he said, his shoulders pushing up toward the ceiling.
Kenzie shook her head. “Why can’t we figure it out now? Why do you keep dismissing all of my suggestions? It’s starting to get on my nerves, Zachary.”
“Don’t start.”
“I’m not starting. I just want to know . . .”
He snapped. “Give me a break. Please! I am not in the mood. Are you ready to go?”
They stood toe to toe, adding bricks to the wall they’d been slowly building between them. When she didn’t answer, he turned abruptly and headed back toward the door. He called over his shoulder. “If you’re riding back with me, I’m pulling out as soon as I make sure Franklin has everything he needs. Be in the car.”
As he rounded the corner and disappeared, Kenzie muttered under her breath, “Whatever.”
* * *
It was a month later when Kenzie laughed, and Zachary realized that it had been forever since he’d last heard the sound. Since her father’s passing, the two had settled into two different lanes, gliding past each other like two lost ships.
Everyone had expected that Kai’s death would have hit Kenzie hard, but it was Zachary who seemed to be suffering the most. He stared out to the property; the gym facility was ripe with activity. Leaving Krabi Town and returning to Revolution had been easy, as neither wanted to stay a day longer than necessary. Now that they were back, Kenzie was laughing, and he couldn’t begin to imagine what she could find so funny.
He moved back into his bungalow and the bedroom where she sat, lotus-style. She was on the telephone, lost in conversation, a smile actually filling her face. He stood in the doorway, watching her, until the conversation was done and she had disconnected the call.
She eyed him curiously. “I thought you had a class?” she asked, lifting her eyes to his.
“I canceled. I wasn’t in the mood.”
She eyed him for a moment before nodding her head slightly.
Zachary shrugged. “Who were you talking to?” he asked.
“Stephanie. She has a job for me, a feature on the new owner of the New York Knicks.”
“That’s good.”
She nodded again. “But I need to go back to the States. I think I’m going to try to leave at the end of the week.”
“Leaving? When were you going to tell me?”
“I just did, Zachary.”
“Don’t you think we should have talked about it before you told her yes?”
Kenzie bristled slightly. “I’m not sure where you’re going with this, but you’re the one who’s been telling me I need to get back to work.”
“I said you need to get back to writing. Not that you needed to leave.”
“My writing sometimes makes it necessary for me to leave, Zachary.”
He shook his head. “Whatever . . .”
“What does that mean?”
“It means go. Do whatever you want. I don’t care.”
She blew a loud sigh. “I really don’t want to fight. We keep going back and forth, and it doesn�
�t make any sense to me.”
“I’m not fighting.”
“You’re trying to pick one.”
Zachary shook his head from side to side. “I’ve just signed to fight Antonio Barrera. I thought you should know. I need to start training, so it’s probably better that you’re gone anyway.”
Shock washed over Kenzie’s expression. She shook her head. “I thought we agreed that you weren’t going to think about taking on a fight until next year? No major life decisions for at least six months, remember?” She briefly thought back to one of the few conversations they had had since her father had passed.
“They pitched a deal I couldn’t turn down.”
“And when is this supposed to happen?”
“We have a good few months. The UFC still needs to approve the deal, and then there’s some logistical stuff that needs to happen. It’ll definitely be after the holidays and probably sometime in the early New Year.”
“And Gamon is okay with this?”
“Gamon works for me. I don’t work for him,” he said snidely. He tossed her a look, then cut his eyes in the opposite direction, refusing to look directly at her.
Kenzie’s fists clutched her hips. Concern painted her expression. “Do you really think this is a good idea, Zachary? Are you ready to take on an opponent so soon? Because I don’t think your head is in the right place for a fight right now. I really don’t.”
“Don’t you, Kenzie? Let me worry about me.”
She bristled, her eyes narrowing into thin slits. “What’s going on with you, Zachary? What’s going on with us?”
He shrugged as he turned, moving out the door. “Clearly, not a damn thing! You’re leaving, remember?”
Zachary stormed back into the front room. He wanted to run. He needed to run, to forget, in the dust and dirt roads, the rise of frustration that was suddenly consuming him. He slid his feet into a pair of running shoes and slammed out the front door. And then he ran.
The trek took him off the property and through the streets of Phuket. He paced himself, determined to run until he dropped, no end goal planned at all. He rounded a narrow passage that dropped him at the bridge that connected the island to the mainland. From there he followed the route to Haad Sai Kaew Beach, an endless stretch of sand and sun. Miles of solitary beachfront property lay before him, the area completely deserted. Above his head, the sun lingered behind a wave of cumulus clouds, just the right amount of bright light peeking through. The water that kissed the sand’s edge was an extraordinary shade of blue, but in that moment Zachary couldn’t appreciate the beauty of it.
He ran until he was kicking up sand and the spray of ocean water was hitting him in the face. His calves had begun to burn, and there was a hint of ache in his knees. He had broken out into a sweat and was panting heavily, his chest tightening. His lungs were beginning to burn, and breathing was starting to be a challenge. When he reached an incline that began the path back to the gym, he suddenly came to an abrupt stop, his hands falling against the slight rise of his hips. Tears streamed down his face.
Zachary sobbed. He cried like a baby, his chest heaving up and down. His heart ached, the pain almost unbearable. He hadn’t felt as lost, or alone, since the time he and his twin brother had been estranged and his marriage had fallen into dissolution. He sobbed, tears clouding his view as he dropped down against the loose sand and wrapped his arms around his knees. His hulking body heaved up and down as he wept, and then he wailed, oblivious to the curious stares from the few people who were walking along the beach.
Chapter Fifteen
When Zachary hadn’t come back, Kenzie went looking for Gamon. His training manager and friend was in the office trying to catch up on paperwork that the star athlete had left unhandled. Frustration furrowed his brow, and when he looked up to see Kenzie standing there staring at him, it was clear that he was not in the mood. But neither was she.
“He is not here, Ms. Kenzie. I have not seen him today,” Gamon said, mumbling with a thick Thai accent.
“I know. We had a fight, and he took off on a run. We probably won’t see him for the rest of the day.”
Gamon sat back in his seat. He folded his hands together in his lap. “Why did you two argue?” he asked.
Kenzie dropped down into the empty seat in front of the desk. “I’m going back to New York on Thursday. I just booked my flight. I have a new assignment.”
Gamon nodded. “So he is not happy about you leaving.”
“No,” she said, her head shaking. “He’s not happy about anything lately.”
“Your father dying is weighing heavily on his spirit. He doesn’t know how to deal with the loss.”
Kenzie blew a loud sigh. “It’s been hard for both of us.”
Gamon nodded his agreement. “Grief will sometimes take your life to a crossroads. We all handle that differently. He may need a little help finding his way.”
“So how do I do that, Gamon? He told me to get back to work and move on, and now he’s having issues because I’m doing that.”
“You need to just give him time. He is getting back to work. He will need to train, and when he is focused on that, things will get better.”
“A title fight is too soon, and with Antonio Barrera? He’s not ready for that, Gamon. His head’s not in that kind of game.”
“That is true. But he will be ready,” the man said matter-of-factly. “I’ll make sure of that.”
Kenzie nodded. “Zachary trusts you. And so did my father. I don’t know if I’m convinced, but I’m willing to trust you too. So what do I do until then?”
“Give him some space. Go handle your business. It will all work out the way fate intends for it to.”
“Just like that?”
“Exactly like that.”
* * *
Stephanie Guy met her best friend at the airport. Kenzie’s flight had landed an hour past its originally scheduled arrival time due to the weather conditions in New York. An untimely nor’easter had blown through days earlier, and LaGuardia Airport had just reopened to air traffic. Primped and pretty, the four-foot, eight-inch spitfire in stiletto heels had bulldozed her way through a crowd to stand front and center with a handmade sign that read WELCOME HOME.
Kenzie laughed as she hugged her bestie. “Really, Steph? You’re wearing high heels in this weather?”
“How many times have I told you that you never break formation? I have an image to uphold.”
“That’s going to be hard to do if you slip on some ice and bust your ass!” Kenzie laughed, her friend laughing with her.
“It’s a risk I have to take. How was your trip?”
“Long! I flew from Phuket to Bangkok to Tokyo to Los Angeles to Chicago and then from Chicago to here. I’ve been on a plane for an eternity!”
“At least you flew first class. You did fly first class, right?”
Kenzie laughed. “Yes, and I will expense it, thank you very much! But you didn’t have to come get me. I could have gotten a taxi.”
“That would have cost one of us an unnecessary fortune! It didn’t make any sense. Besides, I’ve been dying to find out what happened with you and the boyfriend.”
Kenzie rolled her eyes. “Well, I appreciate you coming.”
“Appreciate it when you make me forget that we’re sitting in a boatload of traffic for an hour when the ride should only take thirty minutes. That snow has the roads completely jacked up!”
Kenzie nodded. “Let’s grab my luggage and get on the way then.”
Minutes later the two sat in bumper-to-bumper traffic on the Grand Central Parkway West, headed in the direction of the Triborough Bridge. They should have been mere minutes from the East 233rd Street exit, but it didn’t look like they were going to be there anytime soon.
“So what happened?” Stephanie asked again. “It looks like you brought all your stuff back. I was sure you were going to tell me to sell your apartment and that you were headed back to Thailand for good.”
&n
bsp; “I did, too. But after my father died we just disconnected. It’s been hard for us to find our way back to each other. I left because we needed some time apart. Right now, I don’t know what’s going to happen with us.”
“Did you try? Because I know you, Kenzie. Did the pretty boxer fail some expectation of yours and suddenly become disposable? Because that would not be cool!”
Kenzie sighed, turning to stare out the window at the familiar landscape. She shook her head. “No. It wasn’t like that. I think we’re just afraid. Both of us.” She cut an eye at her friend.
“Afraid of what?”
“Of losing each other. Walking away felt like it would just hurt less in the long run. So we walked away.”
“Did you two at least talk about it?”
“We haven’t talked much about anything since Kai’s funeral.”
“Do you love him, Kenzie?” Stephanie shifted in her seat to stare at her.
Kenzie nodded. Tears suddenly misted her eyes. She didn’t need to say anything; her eyes said it all.
Stephanie reached out and squeezed her hand. “Maybe you’ll still get your happy ending.”
“I don’t believe in that fairy-tale crap, remember?”
“Well, I do. Maybe it’ll be one of those Pretty Woman endings where he comes for you and climbs the fire escape as he professes his love, with the limousine waiting to whisk you both off to Neverland!”
Kenzie laughed. “Did you already fall down and bump your head?”
“I’m just not as jaded as you are.”
“I’m not jaded. Not anymore.”
“So why didn’t you call me before you got on a plane? You always call me for advice about everything else.”
“Because you would have talked me out of leaving, and I needed to put some space between me and him.”
“And now you’re regretting that decision, I’m sure.”
“Why do you always have to be right!” Kenzie exclaimed. “I can’t stand you!”
Stephanie shook her head as she finally steered the car off the exit and turned left. Ten minutes later they were pulling into the parking area of Kenzie’s apartment building. “I stopped by earlier to turn the heat up. I watered your plants too.”
Perfect Pleasures Page 18
