by Bronwyn Eley
‘I’m not going to ask if you’re alright,’ Markus said, keeping his voice low.
‘Alright,’ I responded, grateful that I didn’t have to keep lying. ‘I’m sorry your sister had to see that. I didn’t think.’
‘She’s seen worse.’ Markus placed his hands on the edge of the bed, heat rolling off his skin and onto mine.
‘What happened?’ I gestured to his shirt.
He frowned and tugged on it, pulling it away from his body so he could see it. He held it gingerly, then dropped it with a sigh. ‘You weren’t seeing things, after all. I went back to have a better look and found her.’
‘The dog?’ I tensed.
‘You were right.’
‘Is she alright?’
His pause told me everything.
‘No,’ I whispered.
‘The wound was too deep,’ he sighed, holding his hands up to show me the dried blood. He looked defeated. ‘There was nothing either of us could have done.’
‘If she hadn’t moved –’
‘It wouldn’t have made a difference.’
‘How did it happen?’
‘I’m not sure.’ Markus rubbed his brow, trying to work the stress away. It was still there when he dropped his hand. ‘Likely a branch or another animal. It was too dark to see. I’ll have to take a closer look when the sun is up. And figure out how she got out of the enclosure.’
‘It was one of your new dogs, wasn’t it?’ The ones we had brought to the castle only a few weeks ago. The night he kissed me.
Markus nodded.
‘What did I do?’ I shifted to see him better. ‘Aless said I was screaming when you brought me in, but I don’t remember it.’
He didn’t answer.
‘I’m getting close.’ My throat was tight.
Markus was looking at his hands. He frowned. ‘Close to what?’
I narrowed my eyes. ‘You’re a bastard if you make me say it.’
His eyes flashed to mine. I held his gaze as long as I could without blinking. Exhaustion defeated me and I sighed.
‘Maybe you are,’ he finally conceded. ‘I’ve never been this close to it before. These could be early symptoms, or –’
‘Don’t,’ I muttered. All the things I once wanted to hear, I couldn’t bear coming from him. If this was the end, there was nothing I could do anyway. And I didn’t want to be the Shadow with him. ‘I want to go back to how we were before you knew.’
Markus frowned, fingers pressing into the edge of the mattress. ‘You want me to what – pretend?’
I chewed on my bottom lip. ‘Maybe it would be easier.’
He reached for my hand and pulled it close to his chest, rubbing my skin with his thumbs. I couldn’t deny that his touch warmed me. But there was no point. I glanced quickly to the window, slipping my hand away.
‘What time is it?’ I asked.
‘A few hours before sunrise.’
I pushed myself up, resisting his hands when they tried to stop me.
‘I have to be at the kitchens soon,’ I groaned, sitting upright.
‘No, you don’t.’ Markus’ voice was strong, stopping my movement. ‘I took care of it.’
‘Took care of what?’ I asked.
‘You can take your time. I asked Keithan to take Lord Rennard his morning meal and help during the morning, should any pressing chores need doing.’
I frowned. He had asked someone to do my job for me. And they said yes? Who would do that for a stranger?
‘Who’s Keithan?’
A strange look spread across Markus’ face. The name felt easy enough to say, but I couldn’t put a face to it.
‘Keithan?’ Markus asked me slowly. I shook my head. ‘The librarian?’
Black hair, wide eyes, hostile.
‘Oh, right,’ I mumbled, shaking my head. Keithan. I rubbed my forehead, remembering the man I had asked again and again to help me.
‘I thought you two spent a lot of time together?’ Markus asked, leaning back in his chair. I nodded slowly. Yes, we had. In the library, wasn’t it? Yes. I remembered a lot of books and a tall ladder wobbling under his weight.
‘You forgot him?’
‘Just for a moment,’ I snapped.
Markus gave me a tight smile. Sighing, I threw the sheets off my body and swung my legs over the edge of the bed. My head certainly didn’t like that. After a deep breath, I continued. ‘I should still be going. It isn’t fair to ask Keithan to do that for me.’
‘You should rest as much as you can,’ Markus protested, standing up. He was taller, stronger. But that wouldn’t stop me. I watched his hesitant hands linger in the air.
I tugged on my shoes and walked to the door.
‘Kaylan.’
‘Yes?’ I turned sharply.
He halted, arms hanging limp. ‘Come to dinner tomorrow night.’
Not what I was expecting. ‘I’m not sure –’
‘These hands –’ he lifted them into view ‘– have many skills.’ I bit my lip, holding back an indecent retort. ‘I’ll make my best dessert. Just for you.’
So he was going to pretend for me.
‘I’m only free after Rennard goes to bed.’
‘What time?’
‘It varies. Usually around ninth bell.’
‘A late dinner it is, then.’ Markus moved forward and ushered us into the hall. ‘Aless will be thrilled. Late to bed two nights in a row.’
He brushed his hand down the length of my arm and laced his fingers with mine. I went to pull away, but he tightened his grip. ‘It’s dark. I’ll show you the way out.’
I let him lead me to the door, keeping my head low the whole way. A warm breeze brushed my body. Markus released me and pushed his empty hand into his pocket. ‘I’ll see you just after ninth bell, then.’
It would have taken everything in Markus not to insist on escorting me. I stepped over the threshold and did my best to look like someone who wasn’t afraid of walking all the way back to the castle alone. With a hurried wave, I started across the blackened grounds.
The doors to the dining hall were open, just a sliver, and I could hear their voices from inside. My arms threatened to drop the plates I had collected from the kitchen, but I steadied them. A moment longer was all I needed. I pressed my ear closer.
‘– spend a few days down there and then I will send him home.’ Rennard’s voice was cool, unlike Jesper’s.
‘He’s just a boy, Ren,’ she protested.
‘He is not –’ Rennard lashed out; I heard a crash, imagining his hands coming down on the table ‘– just a boy. Sixteen is much older than I was when I began learning life’s lessons.’
‘No child needs to learn these kinds of lessons, Ren.’ Jesper was begging. For my brother. For my sanity. ‘Just let the boy return home. I’m sure he won’t do it again.’
Rennard grunted. ‘I’m not as sure as you, my dear.’
‘You said he was drunk when the guards found him?’ Jesper asked. Frowning, I pushed my ear closer. If Elias had been drunk when they found him, how long had it been before he was brought before Rennard? He hadn’t seemed drunk in the hall.
‘Yes, he was,’ Rennard responded. ‘He needs more than just one lesson, I think. What a disgrace.’
Heat swelled in my head again. I relaxed my body against the door, shifting it slightly. The sound echoed enough to stop their voices. Cursing myself, I quickly pushed the door open.
‘Kaylan,’ Rennard murmured. ‘How nice of you to finally join us.’
I pushed my lips together, feeling the protest from my jaw. I didn’t trust myself. Or him.
‘I’m glad to see the mark forming on your face,’ Rennard continued.
‘Ren!’ Jesper’s scold surprised us all.
‘Stay quiet!’ he spat at her. She sank back in her chair, gripping the armrests. ‘It shows that she cared for something enough to put herself at risk,’ Rennard continued. ‘I admire that. Protecting your own.’
I pla
ced his plate down. It was filled with meats and cheeses that weighed as much as stones to me. I hurried to Jesper, nearly dropping her plate.
‘Your brother will be fine,’ she whispered. I glanced at her, my heart pounding. I could see it in her eyes. She wanted to protect him. We both knew she couldn’t. ‘I promise.’
‘Silly woman.’ Thorn’s acidic voice made me jump back. He had entered so silently through the open door, and now he was too close. His fists were balled up in rage. ‘Making worthless promises to those who don’t even deserve it.’
‘Enough, Thorn,’ Rennard snapped.
Thorn nodded curtly, unashamed by his vulgar words. He held up a sheaf of papers. ‘My lord, I have the information you wanted.’
Rennard reacted, disappearing with Thorn within seconds. I welcomed the relief, just as my legs gave way. I slouched in Rennard’s chair.
Lords curse him. I’ll sit where I want.
‘He’s right.’ Jesper broke the silence. ‘There’s nothing I can do. I’m sorry.’
The fear and regret on her face reflected the knots in my stomach. We were useless to my brother. Even if we were stupid enough to go to the dungeon, the guards would never let us through. And then what would we do? Break my brother free and hope that Rennard wouldn’t throw me back in to replace him? There was no point.
I placed a light touch on Elias’ ring. Aless’ chain was new, durable; it felt nice against my skin. I kept it hidden as best I could under my shirt. It was best to keep the ring on me until I could return it to Elias. It would be with him soon enough – I would make sure of it.
‘You need to eat,’ I said to Jesper. She looked worse than I felt. Even for someone with skin whiter than snow, she looked pale. Her bloodshot eyes did nothing to reassure me, and a slight bruise was beginning to form around her split lip. ‘What happened to your lip?’
I already had strong suspicions. I wanted to see if she would lie. Would she say she fell? Hit her face on the corner of a cupboard? Nicked her lip with a thorn from one of her roses as she smelled it?
Her hand twitched and she glanced around the back of her chair.
‘We’re alone,’ I said. There had been no guards in the hall or at the doors. It was unusual, but perhaps they were needed elsewhere. What information had Thorn brought for Rennard?
‘I won’t make excuses,’ Jesper said quietly, sinking back in her chair. She brought a hand up to her lip and touched it softly. ‘He shouldn’t have done it. He apologised, at least, but –’ She sighed and sat forward, pushing her plate away. ‘With everything –’
‘Bellamy.’
Anger flashed in her eyes. ‘Don’t say that name. How do you know?’
‘Rennard told me.’
Jesper raised her eyebrows.
‘Alright, not told me, as such, but he did involve me first. Remember back when he told me to join him on an errand in town?’
Jesper nodded.
‘He had me in a tavern, trying to find information on –’ I paused. ‘Him.’
She frowned and shook her head, again and again, as if something irritated her and she was trying to shake it free. ‘And you figured out what was going on?’
‘Someone told me.’ It was likely Rennard already suspected that I knew the whole truth, since Mr Alarn and I had spoken, but I wouldn’t say it aloud where anyone could overhear.
‘Then you know what that man is doing to us,’ Jesper snapped.
‘Us?’ I asked incredulously.
‘Yes, us. What happens to Ren happens to me. It’s not right, what he’s doing. It’s not –’ She cut herself off. ‘Leave it alone, Kaylan. Bellamy is death.’
Even without a statement like that, Jesper’s tone was final. She hauled herself from her seat and strode from the hall.
The smell of warm meat and bread drifted up my nose and I pushed Rennard’s full plate back. It seemed eating was beyond everyone at the moment.
Chapter 25
Before heading for Markus’ house that night, I stripped off my uniform, pulling my old clothes from their hidden place in the cupboard. Small holes spotted the shirt, mostly in the sleeves, where my apron hadn’t stopped the cinders from burning through. The garments were enormous on me now, but it was better than my uniform – a reminder of what we were trying to ignore.
As I passed the hound enclosure and heard the whines of the dogs, I wondered about my host-to-be.
Despite the possible complications of his proximity to Rennard, Markus seemed pleased with his situation. Yet there was something lacking in his eyes. The spark I saw when he was with his animals hadn’t been there last night. It hadn’t been there at Jesper’s celebration, either. I doubted it would be there tonight.
I followed the path scored into the ground, picturing Markus’ heavy boots wearing the grass down over the years. It led me straight to the door of his house. I placed my better hand on the wood, pressing my left one into my side, begging it to settle. I blew out a slow breath, drew my fingers into a fist and knocked.
I heard heavy steps, then the door opened silently. Warm air brushed my face.
My gaze fell on Markus’ chest, covered in a maroon shirt, loose like mine. I looked up to his face. His tight smile did nothing to reassure me.
So much for pretending.
‘What?’ I asked.
‘Did you sleep at all?’
‘No. I had work to do.’
He sighed. ‘The point of asking Keithan to do your job today was so you could rest after last night.’
I opened my mouth to protest.
‘I know, I know.’ He shrugged his shoulders, as if shaking off the parts of him that cared about me. He stepped aside. ‘Come on in.’
At the mention of my moody friend, I wondered what had happened to him. I hadn’t seen him at all during the day. I was at the kitchens early to collect Rennard’s meal. Maybe Keithan arrived a while later, only to find out I had already been.
The room was warm from a large fireplace opposite me. To its right was a door; to its left, a staircase leading upstairs. A circular table occupied the left half of the room, six high-backed wooden chairs waiting for guests. To the right, Aless sat straight in a cushioned chair, her eyes on me.
Markus closed the door. Considering the warmth of the evening, it surprised me that a fire was lit. He didn’t seem to use it for cooking or boiling water. Yet it did add a level of comfort to the room, its crackling stealing away any silence that might make things uncomfortable.
Aless rose and reached for my hand. She pulled me to a couch against the far wall and we sat, Markus standing behind a nearby chair.
‘Thank you for coming,’ Aless beamed. Her olive-coloured dress was bound tight around her chest, flaring out at the hips. Lace curled its way around her neck and arms. Her feet were bare. ‘I didn’t work today; Markus had me take the day off. I slept for a while after lunch, too!’
‘Where do you work?’
‘Lady Sara’s,’ she said proudly, pressing her hand to a lovely criss-crossed pattern that edged the collar of her dress. ‘I did this myself. Lady Sara says I’m one of her best embroiderers.’
‘Lady Sara is the highest paid Seamstress in Edriast,’ Markus explained in a low voice, a hint of amusement lacing his tone. ‘She designs and makes gowns for our nobility. It’s quite a privilege to be chosen to work for her.’
‘And she’s lucky to have you.’ I nodded to Aless’ work. ‘That’s very good. You obviously have an eye for design and a steady hand.’
‘I could do something for your clothes.’ Aless reached a hand toward my shirt, twisting the loose fabric. She frowned. ‘These are too big for you.’
‘Perhaps another time.’ I moved her hand away, squeezing it reassuringly with my own. ‘What smells so good?’
‘All in good time,’ Markus chimed in, pushing away from the chair. ‘I’ll finish preparing. Aless, offer Kaylan a drink and take a seat.’
He hurried through the door to the right of the fireplace. A
less directed me to a chair, then moved to a small table against the wall, laden with carved glass bottles full of dark liquids.
She presented me with a delicate glass of wine the colour of blood, then returned to pour two more. One she filled to the top, the other only halfway, topping it up with water.
Despite it being diluted, it didn’t sit well with me to see Aless with the wine. ‘Should you be drinking that?’ I teased, hiding my distaste.
‘My brother allows me one glass with dinner on special occasions.’
One glass was all it took.
The first time Elias came home drunk, he was barely fourteen. The smell of his sick announced his arrival. My mother asked me to put Kye and Rhey to bed while she cleaned him up. I told my little brothers that Elias had eaten something that made him ill. That he would feel better in the morning.
‘I only like red wine,’ Aless continued. ‘I never drink any of those horrid brown ones.’
Those horrid brown ones were Elias’ favourites. I shifted forward in my seat and took a sip of the wine, feeling the flavours move down my dry throat.
The door to the kitchen saved me from an awkward response. Markus entered with three balanced plates, placing one down in front of me. I closed my eyes and took in as much of the pleasant smell as I could. My meals in the castle weren’t bad, considering what I had eaten in the past. But looking now at the ripe meat and vibrant vegetables before me, I knew I was in the company of nobility.
But where were his servants? Had he dismissed them for the evening?
Our dinner began in silence, reminding me of the meals shared by Jesper and her distracted husband. I looked at Markus across the table. His shirt opened at the top, revealing the smooth chest beneath. I saw no necklace, so I looked to Aless. The silver decorated her outfit, contrasting with the deep colour of her dress.
‘How old are you, Aless?’ I was desperate for the night to go by quickly. Silence would only make it stretch beyond my sanity.
‘Eleven,’ she said with pride. ‘How old are you?’
‘I’m nineteen.’
‘Markus is twenty-five.’ Aless resumed her meal.
Eleven. She was so young, so unaffected. Despite all that had happened in their lives, she seemed strong and content. Did she have Markus to thank for that?
