Abandon

by Moors, Jerusha

  He noticed the four sets of eyes on him. Harriet was distinctly cool, George looked sheepish, Blakesley was still amused, and Thornton looked thoughtful.

  “No, she did not tell me she felt ill. I would gladly have escorted her home if I had known.”

  The conversation moved to other subjects and Aubrey impatiently awaited the time when he could take his leave. Finally he could not bear to linger any further and took his leave of his friends. He hailed a hackney and made his way home. Lucy’s house was dark. He walked up the steps to try the door, sure that she would have left it unlocked for him, but it would not budge. He knocked lightly, hoping she would open it for him, but there was no response. He stepped back and looked up at the house as if he might find a magic way inside, but every window was closed tight. He walked around to the side, hoping that the servant door might provide access, but he was foiled again.

  Aubrey had his answer. Lucy was angry and now he had to make amends quickly. He trudged to his home and let himself in. A sleepy footman was waiting and he nodded as he ascended the stairs to his bedroom. He undressed himself as he had not acquired a valet since his return. After all, he had been able to dress himself for the last five years so it did not seem to be a critical need. He dropped into the bed, brain racing, wondering what to do about Lucy. This was not the evening that he had planned for them.

  In the morning things did not improve. Today was the day that he and George were leaving with the ladies for George’s estate in Kent where the wedding would take place. They would be there for a few days, days that he had hoped to spend with Lucy. The other guests would arrive later for the house party that would culminate in the wedding ball and ceremony. Harriet and Lucy rode inside the carriage with Harriet’s maid while he and George rode outside. Lucy had been pale and composed, polite but withdrawn. Harriet had given him a worried look and he hoped that she would plead his case on the ride to the estate.

  The weather was pleasant and George rambled on, talking about estate matters and the wedding plans. Aubrey answered when necessary, but brooded as he watched the coach travel along the road. It only took a few hours to reach George’s estate, a neat Georgian manor of red brick with black shutters. The park was not spacious, but the estate was well laid out.

  Harriet and Lucy had stepped down from the carriage and entered the house while he and George were dismounting and handing their horses over to the grooms. By the time they had entered the house Lucy was already ascending the stairs following a maid while Harriet waited in the hallway wringing her hands.

  “Lucy is going to lie down before dinner as she has a headache from the coach ride.”

  Aubrey watched as Lucy disappeared from his sight and sighed. “Were you able to speak to her during the ride at all?”

  “No, she kept her eyes closed and rested due to the headache, she said. I’m sorry Aubrey, but she does not seem angry, just tired perhaps.”

  He nodded. “Thank you.” He changed subjects, wanting to think about this later when he was alone. “George, do you have plans now for me. I am here to serve you this week, you know.”

  George laughed. “Let me show you to your room. I intend to get myself cleaned up after our ride and I suggest you do the same. There is nothing pressing at this point. My lady has everything in hand.”

  Harriet smiled. “I’m glad that you think so, but I agree that we should retire to our rooms and our toilettes. We can meet again before dinner.” She took George’s arm and they ascended the stairs.

  Aubrey followed, wondering if Harriet would discreetly indicate which room Lucy was in when they reached the upper hallway. The house was not overly large, but would accommodate the wedding guests, at least those coming for the house party. Many others would stay in neighboring houses or inns just for the night of the ball and the wedding breakfast. But apparently he was not in her good graces enough that she would give him an inkling of where Lucy was housed. He did not think George would cross her either. The dowager Lady Aversley was arriving shortly to chaperone and to oversee the festivities, at least as much as George was allowing her to do so. Lady Aversley and Harriet maintained a cool facade with each other and the next few days might be tense unless the ladies reached a compromise.

  When the dinner gong sounded Aubrey was already waiting in the drawing room. George’s mother and sister were already seated there as well as George and Harriet. But Lucy had not appeared as yet.

  “Is Lady Lucilla planning to attend dinner?” he asked when there was a pause in the conversation.

  “No, she decided to take a tray in her room this evening. I expect that she will be feeling better in the morning.”

  “Young ladies today suffer too much from weak constitutions,” Lady Aversley contributed her part to the conversation. Her daughter Charlotte rolled her eyes behind her, but George took his mother’s arm to lead her into the dining room before anyone had time to disagree with the matriarch.

  “Yes, yes, mama. Shall we go in to eat now?” He nodded behind her head to Aubrey who took both Charlotte and Harriet by the arm to follow.

  Breakfast the next morning was no better. Lucy did not appear and then Aubrey left to ride the estate with George. He was starting to feel quite desperate and he did not like it. How was he going to win Lucy over if he could not meet with her, talk to her and cajole her?

  They stopped in the nearby village for lunch and Aubrey almost confided in George. But the man was so delighted about his upcoming nuptials that Aubrey did not want to say or do anything that might burst his bubble.

  Aubrey’s luck changed when they returned in the afternoon. The ladies were in the drawing room, Harriet and Charlotte chattering away and making plans while Lady Aversley looked on in silence. A truce between mother and future daughter-in-law appeared to have been drawn up for the duration of the week. Lucy was also there with a paper and quill, recording lists as the ladies spoke, crossing lines out again as one or the other decided not to pursue an idea. She looked up, her face solemn, as the men walked into the room still dusty from their ride.

  While George greeted the others, Aubrey crossed to Lucy.

  “I am glad to see you have recovered. I hope you are feeling much better today.”

  She gave him a small smile. “Yes, thank you, much better. And how was your ride? This is a pleasant area, is it not?”

  He searched her face, but it was inscrutable. She was dealing in pleasantries while he wanted to whisk her away and kiss her until she yielded with a true response.

  Harriet called to her and she turned away to respond. Aubrey clenched his fists in frustration, but stood waiting, hoping for an opportunity for further speech.

  “And what are you ladies up to this afternoon?” George was full of bonhomie, pleased that his mother had finally decided to make peace with his intended.

  Harriet responded, “I would like a walk in the gardens. We have been cooped up in here with our tasks and it is such a pleasant day. I do believe that all is finally in order so we are due for some leisure.”

  “Let us clean the dust from the road off of ourselves and then we will be at your service.” George nodded at Aubrey who hesitated, but Lucy seemed to concede to the proposed activity, so he followed him to change his jacket and wash up.

  The group of young people met in the hallway, Lady Aversley having decided to retire to her room for a rest. George escorted Harriet and Charlotte who were now the best of friends so Aubrey offered his arm to Lucy. She took it readily enough and they followed the others outside.

  George’s gardens were not expansive, but there were paths that led into a pretty wooded area and around a small pond. When some distance had opened between them and the group ahead of them Aubrey decided that now was the time to speak.

  “Lucy, are you unhappy with me for some reason? Have I done something to offend you?”

  She took a breath and gave him a small smile. “I am sorry if I have given you that impression. I certainly did not mean to. Perhaps you should wr
ite it off to a woman’s vagaries.”

  He studied her face, but it remained placid, not a hint of any inner turmoil. She suffered his scrutiny and then tugged at his arm. “We should catch up with the others.”

  Chapter Sixteen

  Lucy had got ready for bed and was standing by the window waiting for Aubrey. He had not said anything specific, but she knew he was coming to her this night. He had walked her up the stairs to her room when everyone was retiring and he knew that her room was down three doors from his. He was definitely coming to her tonight.

  He had been solicitous all during dinner and after when they had withdrawn to the sitting room. They had played cards and he had made his intentions known by light touches and knowing looks. She supposed that if she chose she could turn the lock and keep him out, but she had finally made her decision last night as she tossed and turned in her bed.

  She loved him, had always loved him, and would love him for the rest of her life. Lucy had finally made her peace with that late the night before. She had felt so many emotions in the last few days: anger, jealousy, despair, and finally acceptance. And if he wanted her, even for a short time, she would acquiesce, at least until the wedding was over and her deadline was met. Then she would return home where she would have her memories to hold her for the rest of her life.

  It was clear to her that Aubrey was trying to make reparations for abandoning her five years earlier. Their relationship had been left in limbo and he needed to bring it to a satisfactory conclusion for his own peace of mind. Then he could move on with his life, find a woman, Lady Clarissa or whomever he chose to marry and start a family with. And Lucy would go back to her own life.

  The door opened behind her, but Lucy stayed where she was. It was a warm night and she had opened the window to let in the breeze. It wafted past her and lifted a curl across her breast, then ruffled the lace on her nightgown.

  Aubrey moved across the room and stood behind her, not touching, but she could feel the heat of his body. Then he placed his hands on her waist and drew her back against him. The smell of Aubrey, once so familiar, surrounded her and she sighed and lifted a hand up to caress his neck as he leaned his head forward against her curls.

  “Lucy,” he breathed against her ear. She smiled and waited.

  “Oh, Lucy.” Aubrey pulled her tighter against him. She could feel him hard against her buttocks and a shiver ran down her spine. She turned in his arms and reached up to pull his head down to her. His lips came down hard on hers and she reveled in their touch. She felt a moan break free from the pit of her stomach and her mouth opened, tongue intertwining with his. Aubrey placed his hands on either side of her face, holding her firmly in his grasp while he drew in her sweetness. He tasted faintly of tooth powder and Lucy bit at his lower lip, then soothed the spot with her tongue.

  He was wearing his robe but he was naked beneath it. She confirmed this as her hands pushed the edges of the robe aside. She ran her hands over his chest. Aubrey was lean and wiry, not muscular at all, with a small trail of brown hair that ran down to his groin. Lucy ran her tongue over one flat brown nipple and he hissed and pushed his cock into her stomach.

  He reached down and gathered the material of her nightgown, pulling it up and over her head. Her arm caught in one sleeve and he carefully helped her to free it, his eyes dark in the dim candlelight of the bedroom. Lucy’s nightgown drifted to the floor and she stepped away, intent on reaching the bed. Aubrey reached out and stopped her.

  “Wait. I want to look at you. I want to remember this moment. I will paint it so we have it forever.”

  Lucy blushed, but stood obediently as Aubrey gazed at her from the tip of her toes to the top of her disheveled hair.

  “You are so beautiful.” He dropped his robe and now it was Lucy’s turn to look her full. He was fully erect and she thought back to when she had last seen him thus. They had both been younger and though she still looked good, her figure had aged from a girl to a woman with fuller breasts and hips. Likewise, he was broader across the chest and his skin was darker, showing that he had stayed out in the sun without a shirt during his time in Italy.

  He scooped her up and she laughed as he carried her to the bed.

  “I do believe that this is the first time we have actually used a bed.” It was true. Five years ago their lovemaking had taken place out-of-doors on a blanket where they had been picnicking. They had made love twice after Aubrey had proposed marriage, the first time carefully and awkwardly, the next time eagerly, secure in their feelings for the other. Then he was gone the next day, but Lucy pushed that thought out of her mind. He was here for now.

  Aubrey lay down next to her and gathered her to him. He started kissing her again, their bodies pressed against each other. Aubrey pushed closer, insinuating a leg between hers and she hooked her top leg over his hip. That put him just where she needed him, well, almost where she needed him.

  He was kissing his way down her neck now, a small nip where her pulse was beating hard at the base of her neck. Lucy ran her hand through his hair, tugging to bring him back to her mouth. But he had other plans. He plumped her breasts together and looked up to her, the smirk on his face telling her that he had not forgotten how sensitive she was there. She held her breathe and Aubrey tipped his face down and swirled a hot tongue across one nipple. Lucy twitched and he started suckling hard, then moved to the other breast and did the same.

  Lucy’s hips were undulating. She was ready for him, but when he touched her at her core, they both gasped and stilled. Aubrey moved further down the bed, a wet trail from his tongue painting the way. A long slender finger entered her and his mouth came down on her at the same moment, sending her over the edge until all she saw was stars swirling everywhere. Aubrey pushed back up the bed and took her mouth again to quiet the moans and other sounds coming from her. When she had subsided he lifted his head and chuckled.

  “My love, I thought I would never hear those sweet sounds coming from your lips again.”

  Lucy pushed at his chest, embarrassed at his teasing. His face turned serious and he bent to touch his lips gently to hers. She sighed and kissed him back. He pushed her curls back where they strayed across one cheek and cupped her face, balancing on his elbows. His eyes were gentle with a look that she recognized from years before, but no longer believed. Lucy put that thought away and lifted her hips, anxious to move on, to have him fill her where she was aching.

  “I need you,” she whispered. “Please.”

  Aubrey lined up with her entrance and slowly, slowly pushed inside her. She was tight and it was slightly uncomfortable at first. When he had fully seated himself he stopped and waited, eyes closed while he regained control of himself. When he opened his eyes Lucy nodded at him and raised her hips, encouraging him to move. He began to stroke in and out, and she responded to his rhythm, awkward at first but then her body remembered and they moved in tandem. He took her higher and she moaned, head back as her body arched in reaction when she went over the edge again. Aubrey let out a groan and followed, hot spurts filling her, and then he collapsed on top of her.

  He was breathing hard, but he wheezed out “Sorry, I’ll move in a moment” as he made an abortive movement to roll onto his side. Lucy clasped him tighter, her own breathing harsh and restricted from his weight on her, but not wanting to let go of him.

  Finally their breathing slowed and Aubrey rolled over on one side, but he turned Lucy so that her back cuddled into his chest, holding her tight against him. He buried his nose into her neck, burrowing through the wild chestnut curls.

  “Are you alright?” he asked.

  “I’m fine,” she answered sleepily. “What about you?”

  “All is finally right in my world.”

  Lucy nodded as she drifted off to sleep.

  Chapter Seventeen

  When Lucy finally woke Aubrey was gone. They had made love twice more during the night and she was slow to awaken. She had vaguely known that he had left her earlier, kissing
her goodbye when he gone back to his own room before the servants were up.

  She stretched and a twinge of soreness reminded her of the night’s activities. She smiled, not minding the aches at all. The past night had been the happiest of her life and Lucy would not regret a minute of it. If anything the slight twinges reminded her of her joy at the night past. She refused to think of the future. She would live for what she could get in these next few days.

  She bounded out of bed and washed and dressed in a hurry. She hoped that she could catch Aubrey at breakfast, not for any particular reason except that she wanted to see him. Lucy felt like the seventeen year old girl she had once been.

  She entered the breakfast room at a rush, stopping to greet Harriet and Charlotte. Lady Aversley took her breakfast on a tray in her room usually, but Lucy expected to see the men at the table. She felt her stomach drop just a little at their absence and some of her happiness leeched away. She fixed herself a plate from the buffet and sat next to Harriet. Once Harriet spoke, her happiness disappeared completely.

  “Good morning. I trust you slept well.” Lucy nodded, her mouth full of coddled eggs, her active night contributing to her hunger this morning. “The house party guests arrive today, so I hope you are ready for your new roommate.

  She swallowed and frowned, confused by what Harriet had said.

  Harriet laughed. “I knew you would forget. What with all the people coming I am to share your room until the wedding.” She blushed, apparently thinking about whose room she would be sharing after the wedding and Charlotte giggled. Harriet sent her a reproving look and continued, “Everyone will need to share rooms for the most part. I have put Blakesley in with Lovell. Charlotte will share with Aunt Lavinia.” Charlotte pouted, not pleased with that arrangement. “Just think, Lucy, it will be so much fun, the two of us trading secrets and gossip.”