by K. M. Scott
Tears filled Nina’s eyes, so she looked away and cleared her throat before she continued. When she looked back at me, she wore a forced expression of composure I knew wasn’t real.
“I know you probably think we overprotected her. We never meant to. We just wanted to let her be independent while still making sure she was safe. We never thought she’d become so afraid that she never left that room.”
Regret hung off every word like a sickness Nina now had to fight through. I wanted to help her push that feeling away.
“She knows you did everything you could. I know she does. She isn’t doing this to hurt you.”
“I don’t think she is.”
“You think I’m making her do this, don’t you?” I asked with more defensiveness in my voice than I’d intended.
For the first time, Nina flashed me one of her broad smiles I knew was genuine. “No. My daughter has been through a lot, but she’s a Stone, so she’s got a mind of her own. I have no doubt that she was the one who asked you to help her go, just like she said.”
I didn’t know what to say since I felt like a jackass for jumping on her like that, so I just hung my head and kept my mouth closed. I didn’t know where this conversation was going, but I had nothing useful to add to it yet. Better for me to just listen.
“Do you remember when you first started coming to our house, Cole?”
Looking up, surprised at her question, I smiled as I remembered the first time I met Ethan’s mother. She looked much like Diana did now. Her eyes were bluer and her hair was a little shorter than her daughter’s, but she had that same kindness Diana possessed.
“I was eight.”
“You were. You and Ethan were the terrors of the neighborhood. Every day, I’d get a call from someone in town about what you two were up to. Or Tressa would tell me. She always loved reporting back just how much you two weren’t behaving,” Nina said with a chuckle.
“We were just fun-loving kids. We never meant any harm.”
My statement wasn’t so much a defense or an excuse as much as a way to say she never had to truly worry about Ethan with me. We didn’t cause trouble. We merely were curious.
“I knew that, even if the older ladies whose flower beds you tore up with your bicycles didn’t. I used to tell your mother that when she called and asked if we should consider not letting you boys hang around together as much.”
Her confession made me sit back in surprise. I never knew my parents considered that. How different my life may have been if Ethan and I weren’t joined at the hip from grade school on.
“And then when your mother had to go away, you began spending a lot of time at our house. I know that was hard on you, but I tried to help in every way I could because I firmly believe a boy needs a mother, or at least a mother-figure in his life.”
It had been so long since that happened that I’d forgotten how much I’d relied on Nina Stone when my mother left. I wondered if she knew why she’d gone away, but that question would have to wait for another day. Now wasn’t the time.
“Do you remember that night when you were twelve and you’d gotten in trouble at school, but Ethan asked if you could stay over? You’d done something with your science teacher, if I’m remembering correctly. Tristan was out of town, so I thought about saying no since dealing with three adolescents was hard enough, much less four, but I said yes.”
Thinking back, I remembered weird Mr. Scolari with the thick glasses and cheesy moustache sending me to the office for mumbling under my breath that I didn’t have my homework and he could fuck himself. I’d never said that to any adult before that day.
Sheepishly, I nodded. “Oh yeah. Not much of a student then, I guess.”
Who was I kidding? I’d never been very good in school, and she knew it as well as anyone else.
“You didn’t know this, but your father asked me to take you that night. He didn’t know what to do with you and your brothers, and he knew you’d be safe and cared for at our house. We thought of you as one of the family. When your father went to prison, I told your grandmother any time you wanted to stay with us was fine with me. I knew you needed a family, and we were happy to be there for you.”
“I think you should get more credit than either of my parents for keeping me out of trouble for most of my growing up,” I said quietly, suddenly feeling like I’d betrayed her these past few days.
Nina’s expression grew serious, like she thought that too. “I’ve welcomed you into our home and into our lives because you were Ethan’s best friend and you needed the stability we could offer. I’m afraid that didn’t transfer to you being an adult, though, did it?”
Clearing my throat, I asked, “How much do you know?”
She sighed and a look of pain crossed her face. “I don’t know, but from what my husband’s told me, you got yourself into a bit of trouble, Cole.”
I hated seeing her look at me like that. Like she was filled with disappointment when she thought of me with her daughter. Like I’d turned out so much worse than she’d hoped I would.
I needed her to see I was better than what she’d heard.
“I got involved with some unsavory people,” I admitted, preferring to use the euphemism someone like her would choose instead of the uglier loan shark. “I know I made some mistakes, but they took their pound of flesh. That’s why I lost the club. I’m not in that world anymore. I swear.”
My confession didn’t make the worry disappear from her eyes, though. “I’m happy to hear that, but I’m told you’re losing your home and car too. What are you going to do?”
For the second time that night, I had to find a way to make it seem like my life other than being with Diana hadn’t fucking unraveled in the span of a few months. Time for the prospects speech again.
“I have prospects, things on the horizon. I haven’t decided yet which way I want to go,” I said, repeating word-for-word what I’d said to her daughter, except this time I didn’t gulp down most of the lie.
Maybe after I told it a few more times people might start believing it. I knew instantly by the way Nina leveled her gaze on me that she didn’t, unfortunately.
“Let’s try that again. I’m asking you, as a person who has always treated you with kindness and respect, what are you going to do now?”
I sighed and hung my head as the embarrassing truth came out. Every mundane word of it. “My brother Chase has offered me a position as manager of one of his furniture stores. I’m sure if I asked, my brother Cade could find me a spot on one of his construction crews. It’s that time of the year, so there would be work,” I said barely above a mumble.
When I finished, I couldn’t look up. It was too embarrassing to face a woman like Nina Stone after admitting that my future held the prospect of little more than benefitting from family nepotism because I had no real possibilities for anything else.
“So you do have prospects. Good! Why do you look so glum? I know this may not be what you planned to do, but your brothers are happy to help, I’m sure.”
I lifted my head and saw her smiling at me. And not an evil smile like she now planned to tell me in some very detailed way how much I didn’t deserve to be with someone like her daughter.
“The thought of doing either one of those jobs makes me sick to my stomach. I grew up with a father who moved millions of dollars on a daily basis. Now the best I can see in my future is middle management at a furniture store. I used to think I was better than him because he was in prison. Now I can’t even say that.”
Nina shook her head and frowned. “Don’t say that. You’ve made some mistakes, but you aren’t in prison. And I’ll let you know that I came from a middle class background like that middle manager that so disgusts you. There’s nothing to be ashamed of if someone is working an honest job and doing his best, Cole. Maybe one day you’ll be back to where you were, but for now, there’s nothing wrong with working as a manager of a furniture store.”
“How can I be with Diana now? I ha
ve nothing to offer her,” I said, hating the terrible truth but knowing I couldn’t avoid it anymore.
Oddly, the one person I thought would agree with me stood there shaking her head. “Diana doesn’t need someone for money. Tristan’s family made enough to last generations. She has all she could ever want in that department. What she needs is someone who understands her.”
“Is that going to be enough, though? I’ll be a guy who can run a store for people to furnish their homes, but I’ll never be able to afford one of them.”
“Diana can buy and sell most of the homes in this area, so I don’t think that matters one way or another. I’m sure she could find someone who has money, but would he be good to her and understand she needs things other women don’t? Cole, she’s never going to be like the women you’ve spent your twenties with. They would care what you do for a living. They would look down their noses at your managing a furniture store. She wouldn’t because she wasn’t brought up to be that way.”
As much as I wanted to believe that, I knew the realities of life. Diana didn’t need someone with money, but what I could offer wasn’t anything that special. She’d be able to find it with some wealthy guy, and then she’d see how much she’d been missing out by staying with me.
My heart sank as I formulated the words I never wanted to say and spoke them out loud. “I know you know where we are, Nina. I think maybe it might be a good idea if you or Tristan drove up here to get Diana. I’ll be gone before you get here, but don’t worry. She’s safe here.”
“No, don’t do this, Cole. I’ve spent this whole call trying to show you we approve. Tristan and I approve of you and Diana being together. If she’s happy, that’s all that matters to us.”
“She’s happy now, but that won’t last forever. She’s better off with someone she belongs with. Someone who wouldn’t be playacting like he belongs around you and your family. It was only a matter of time before I figured it out. I’m a little dim, so it only took me twenty years, but I see it now.”
Nina’s frown deepened as she continued to shake her head. “You’re making a mistake. If you care about her, you won’t do this. Cole, she hasn’t been able to be in a car for eight years. She did that with you because she trusted you. I’m sure it terrified her, but she did it. You have no idea how important that is. Ethan told me she looked like a different person when she called tonight. She looked strong, like her old self. Don’t discount how much of that is because of you. Things might not be how you want them to be right now when it comes to your job, but do you love her?”
“That doesn’t matter. She deserves better than me.”
For the first time, Nina raised her voice, startling me. “Yes, it does! I swear to God it’s like you didn’t hear a word I just said. It matters because she loves you and wants to be with you. The only thing standing in the way of the two of you being happy is you. We’re all fine with it.”
“Ethan’s not fine with it. My face can tell you that.”
She grimaced before sighing. “I’m hoping it looks worse than it feels.”
I had to chuckle. It didn’t hurt much anymore. Actually, my entire head felt pretty numb. “I’ll be okay.”
“You’ll hear this from Ethan himself soon enough, I imagine, but I know he’s torn up about what he did. It’s no excuse, but he’s always been protective of his sister.”
“I know, but that just makes my argument for me.” I pointed at my bruised and busted up face and said, “Ethan knows me better than anyone else in the world, and he felt like he needed to do this when he found out about Diana being with me. He’s right. She deserves better than me.”
“She deserves someone who will love her like she needs. If that’s not you, then maybe you’re right. Maybe you should leave. Maybe I’m wrong and there are a lot of men who will take care of her like you. I don’t think so, though.”
“Just get here and take her back to where she belongs with people she should be with,” I said sadly as I ended the call.
I’d pretended to be someone for years. Now, my time was up. I couldn’t be what Diana deserved.
Chapter Eighteen
Diana
Slowly, I opened my eyes to see Cole crouched beside the bed. He stared at me with a sadness I didn’t understand, so I tried to push the sleep away from my head and asked, “What’s wrong?”
“Nothing. Go back to sleep. I love you.”
He was lying. Even in my groggy state, I knew that. The way his voice lowered when he said he loved me told me something was very wrong.
I quickly sat up and looked around the room. Nothing seemed different, except for Cole. Why was he acting so strangely?
“Come back to bed,” I said, reaching out for him.
He stood up and took a deep breath in before he let out a heavy sigh. Avoiding my gaze, he said quietly, “I have to run out for a little while. You’ll be safe, so don’t worry.”
“Where are you going? Why do you seem so strange, Cole? What’s going on?”
Without answering, he gave me a forced smile and walked toward the door. “You’ll be fine.”
As he rounded the bed, I knew. He didn’t want to be with me anymore.
“You aren’t coming back, are you?”
Sighing again, he didn’t turn around to face me. His shoulders sagged, and he hung his head. “It’s better this way. Your mother will be here soon to get you.”
Confused, I tried to understand what he was saying, but none of it made sense. Why was he leaving when he told me he loved me? Did something happen while I was sleeping? Did he speak to my mother?
“Why, Cole? Why don’t you want to be with me anymore? Did my family do something?”
Still, he refused to turn around and look at me. “It’s just the way it has to be. You’ll be okay.”
The finality of his words made my emotions explode inside me, and suddenly I couldn’t stop myself from crying. I didn’t understand any of this.
“I thought you loved me. So you’re saying my sister was right? That you only came around to be with me for my money?” I asked, barely able to get the words out as I sobbed uncontrollably.
Cole didn’t answer any of my questions. He didn’t make a sound. He just stood there a few feet away from me in the doorway to that bedroom in his grandmother’s cabin, but with each second that ticked by, it felt like he was drifting further and further away from me.
But why?
“Answer me! Don’t I at least deserve to know why you don’t want to be with me now?”
His body expanded as he took a deep breath in, and then a second later it seemed to fall as the air left him. “You deserve that and much more. I’m just not the man who can give you any of it.”
“Why? Tell me,” I said as I jumped from the bed and began to make my way toward him.
“Diana, I need to go. Don’t leave the cabin and you’ll be fine,” he said and then walked out of the room.
With every step he took, I felt him slipping away. I couldn’t let him go like this, though. I had to stop him.
So I ran through the kitchen to where he stood in the living room, and in my hurt and anger, I tightened my fists so hard my fingernails dug into my palms before I began to pummel his back to get him to look at me. “Turn around! Tell me why you don’t love me anymore! Tell me!”
He finally spun around and faced me, grabbing my wrists to stop me from hitting him. “What’s wrong with you? Why are you hitting me?”
“Because you won’t tell me why you’re doing this,” I sobbed. He let go of my arms, and they fell to my side as I stood there exhausted by all of this. “Why don’t you love me, Cole?”
Hanging his head, he whispered, “I do. You have no idea how much I want to be the man for you. I’m just not.”
I took his hands in mine and squeezed them. “Why? I don’t care if you don’t own a club anymore. I don’t care about anything like that. Please tell me what I have to say to make you understand those things don’t matter to me.”
When he raised his head and looked at me, I saw tears in his eyes. What had happened to make him so unhappy?
“My prospects are being manager at a furniture store that my brother owns.”
He said those words with such disappointment clinging to each one that I instantly knew what was wrong. I brought his hands up to my lips and kissed them, finally understanding what I needed to say to show him he was the man I wanted.
“I don’t care about money or what job you have, as long as you’re happy doing it. If you don’t want that, then do what you want. Money isn’t something I care at all about, Cole. Honestly.”
“That’s because you’ve always had it. You’re a wealthy woman from a very wealthy family. I’m not someone you should be with.”
My hands tightened their grip on his because I feared he would turn and leave before I could convince him how wrong he was. “So I’ve always had money? Did it help me after my accident when I became so afraid of everything? If I didn’t have my family’s hotel to live in, I would have been holed up in a room in their house, no matter how much money we had. Money isn’t anything I think about, Cole. It never was. I didn’t fall in love with you when I was seventeen because you had money. I fell in love with you because you made me feel special and I loved how I felt when I was with you.”
“Then why did we have to hide the fact that we were together?” he asked pointedly.
He thought I was embarrassed to be with him. How wrong he was.
“We had to because Ethan has always been way too overprotective of me, like I’m his little sister and not born on the very same day as he was. I never wanted to hide what I felt for you. I was crazy about you. I loved you.”
“I have nothing compared to you, Diana. That’s going to matter someday.”
I released my hold on his hands and cradled his bruised face. In his dark eyes, I saw he truly believed that. “All that matters is you love me. Do you?”
