Beyond Reckless

by Autumn Jones Lake

  “Thanks,” he mumbles.

  “Yeah, we shoulda sent you to cooking school instead of art college,” Chuck adds.

  Technically, Chuck didn’t send my brother anywhere. I did. I made sure his financial aid forms were filled out and that he had what he needed to finish his two-year fine arts degree. I wanted him to continue, but Carter wasn’t willing to move away from our mother.

  “How’s painting going, Carter?” Chuck asks.

  “Fine. I have a few jobs lined up.” He turns to me. “Mercy’s father got me that mural at City Hall.”

  “That’s amazing!” I throw my arms around him, and he shoves me away, embarrassed. “Why didn’t you tell me sooner?”

  He lifts his shoulders. “I won’t start on it for a few weeks.”

  “You still friends with that girl? Mercy?” Chuck asks.

  “Had breakfast with her this morning.”

  He nods slowly. “You can bring her to the party if you don’t want to bring your boyfriend.”

  “I don’t think so.”

  The rest of the dinner is just as awkward.

  Chuck and my mother are busy doing who knows what on the couch when I give my brother a hug and slip out the back door.

  “Where the fuck have you been lately?” Z bitches at me the next morning.

  I tap out a quick text then slip my phone in my pocket. Haven’t heard from Charlotte since yesterday morning and I’m worried family dinner didn’t go well.

  Z doesn’t tolerate being ignored. “Little bro, you listening?”

  “I’m listening. The whole fuckin’ forest can hear your big mouth.”

  “Ooo, look who woke up with his balls strapped on this morning,” Z taunts while grabbing his junk.

  “Everyone leave their equipment in their pants, please,” Rock says, using his patient-not-ready-to-crack-skulls-yet voice.

  Wrath snickers. “Focus, fuckers, today’s the only day I can do this.”

  Turned out there was an issue with the foundation on Murphy’s house and some areas needed to be re-excavated before the concrete could be poured. Rather than wait and risk pushing off the concrete work, we decided to spend today getting the job done ourselves. Jasper, the general contractor, is a friend of Z’s and hired the guy who fucked up.

  “I’ll get your money back,” Jasper promises, giving each of us a wary look.

  “I just want it done right,” Murphy growls.

  Z jumps up and down in place a few times, rubbing his hands together. “We got this, bro. Don’t worry. Never shoulda let someone else do it. Whatever we can do ourselves, we should.”

  Murphy nods, but he’s more likely to gnaw off his own arm than ask for help.

  Between the six of us, the work goes quickly. I’m still exhausted by the end of the day. Working out in the gym and manual labor in the summer heat are two very different things.

  “Christ, I might call Violet and tell her I’m not coming in for PT tomorrow,” I mutter at the end of the day.

  Z lifts his chin. “You okay?”

  “I’ll be fine.”

  “We’re in good shape now,” Jasper assures us. He gives Murphy and Z a few other details.

  “Makes you want to skip all this and put up a modular, doesn’t?” Wrath says, tapping my shoulder.

  “I always liked the idea of restoring an old place better.”

  “Yeah, you gonna find some old fixer-upper and drag it up here?”

  Honestly, I’ve never thought about it. Been basically living at the clubhouse for years. Love it up here. Have all the land we need and no one bothers us.

  “I’m fine where I am,” I assure him. “Hey, you gonna be able to help me place some new tree stands before deer season?”

  “Anytime.”

  I turn him and point toward one of the undisturbed parts of the club’s property. “Thinking of putting in a food plot that way and moving the stands there.”

  “Okay. Just let me know when.” He makes a choking motion with his hands. “I’m going to kill one Tarzan style this year.”

  “How? Swinging from a vine in your underwear?”

  He bellows with laughter. “No, asshole. With my bare hands.”

  “You’re a beast.”

  I climb into the UTV to drive back to the clubhouse and before I pull away, Z jumps into the seat next to me.

  “Christ, what do you want now?”

  The vehicle bounces and I turn to find Murphy in the bed behind me. “I think we’re exceeding the weight limit now.”

  “Fuck you. Just drive.”

  “Go,” Z says, gesturing to the trail in front of us. “I think Rock and Wrath want to have a word with Jasper,” he mutters only loud enough for me to hear.

  As soon as I put the vehicle in drive, Z starts harassing me. “So, where ya been lately, fucker?”

  “Why you so worried about me?”

  He reaches over and runs his knuckles over my head and I slap his hand away.

  “Knock it off.”

  Z screws his face into an imitation of a pout. “It’s so quiet next door.”

  “Please. I’ve been gone a couple nights here and there.”

  “Seeing someone?”

  When I don’t answer, Z turns around and asks Murphy the same question.

  “I don’t know,” Murphy answers, which makes me feel worse than it should.

  “Bullshit. You two know every move the other makes.”

  “Not true,” Murphy says.

  Z chuckles, a dirty laugh. “Yeah, I guess T doesn’t want to know what moves you’re making on Heidi.”

  “Shut up,” I snarl.

  Murphy slaps my shoulder. “Drop me at Rock’s.”

  “You’re not even coming back to the clubhouse with us for a bit?” Z asks.

  “Not tonight.” He slaps both our hands before running up the front steps.

  “You’re not going in to see Heidi?”

  “Honestly, I need a shower and a fucking nap. I hurt everywhere.”

  “Shoulda said something.”

  “Didn’t feel it until we stopped.”

  After parking the UTV outside the garage, I give Z a fist bump, then drag my ass upstairs.

  Before leaving the rehab facility, I’d weaned myself off the pain medication I’d been taking. Still have a few around and I pop one before heading into the shower.

  I can’t even shower without thinking about Charlotte.

  Distracted, I finish quickly and dry off. Checking my phone shows she answered my text.

  At the office all day.

  At least I know she’s okay.

  CHAPTER TWENTY-FOUR

  Pure chaos rules Rock and Hope’s house when I walk in a few mornings later.

  Most of the commotion is centered around my niece, who’s screaming at the top of her lungs. Hope’s holding her and trying to console her, but Alexa keeps reaching for Murphy, who’s busy cooking.

  A rather odd scene I’m interrupting.

  Rock spots me and waves at me to come in before he steps outside to continue his phone call.

  Hope flashes a weak smile. “Morning, Teller.”

  “Morning. Where’s Heidi?”

  “In the shower,” Murphy answers without looking at me.

  I take Alexa and she screams even louder for a few seconds. When she focuses on me, her screams abruptly stop. “What’s wrong, baby?”

  She bursts into tears again.

  “She is not a happy baby today,” Hope explains, rubbing the back of her hand over Alexa’s cheek.

  Guilt ripples over me. I shouldn’t allow my sister to impose on my president and his wife. “Sorry, Hope.” I pull out a chair at the large kitchen table and drop into it. When I glance up, Hope’s pretty eyes are narrowed in my direction.

  “It’s not a problem, Teller,” she says in a way that sounds an awful lot like mind your own business. Except, Heidi is my business or she was.

  “What’re you cooking, Mr. Mom?” I tease Murphy.

&
nbsp; He throws a middle finger up without turning around.

  Hope tsks at me as she sets coffee, mugs, sugar and creamer on the table. She hates when I pick on Murphy. “We like having them here. Keeps things lively.”

  “I’ll bet,” I mutter.

  Ignoring my comment, she hands me a frozen teething ring. “Here, see if she’ll gnaw on this.”

  Heidi races into the kitchen, dressed in jeans, T-shirt, and a towel on her head, throws a quick hello at me, and races back out. A few seconds later the whir of a blow dryer starts up.

  “What’s she up to?”

  Hope glances at the clock before answering. “Trinity’s picking her up. Heidi’s helping her with a photo shoot.”

  “Why isn’t she ready?”

  Murphy glares at me again as he sets food out on the table. “She was up all night with Alexa.” He claps his hand over my shoulder, squeezing with enough pressure to get my attention. In a lower voice, he says, “If you harass her when she gets out here, I’m going to kick your ass.”

  I don’t have enough fingers to count how many times Murphy has threatened to kick my ass lately. It seems to be our new favorite routine.

  Looking a little less frazzled, my sister joins us at the table a few minutes later. She hugs me from behind, settling her chin on my shoulder. The damp ends of her hair brush against my arm and the scent of strawberries tickle my nose. She places a quick kiss on my cheek. “Morning. What’re you doing here so early?”

  What am I doing? I wanted to see my niece. See my sister. See my best friend who’s never at the clubhouse anymore.

  “Just wanted to see my favorite girls.”

  She kisses my cheek again and takes Alexa from me, dropping into the chair on my left.

  “Thank you so much, Hope,” Heidi says as she plays peek-a-boo with Alexa.

  “No problem, honey.” While Hope says it to Heidi, she’s looking at me.

  Great, somehow I managed to piss off Hope and it’s not even nine a.m. Rock will love that.

  As if he knew, Rock steps back inside. He lifts his chin at me. “Morning.”

  “Everything okay?” Murphy asks.

  Rock plants a kiss on Hope’s cheek before answering. “Bricks had an issue with one of the guys we’re doing some custom work for.”

  “You need help?”

  “Nah, we’ve got it.” He nods to the hallway. “I did get those parts you asked me for, though.”

  “Cool. Thanks.”

  “Do you have to go down to the shop?” Hope asks Rock.

  The two of them share a look. “Not until later,” he answers in a low voice, clearly not meant for the rest of us. Murphy coughs and rolls his eyes. My sister’s oblivious busy playing with Alexa.

  After a round of eye-fondling his wife, Rock digs into breakfast. “What’s up with you?” he asks me.

  “Not much, Prez.”

  He accepts that answer and swings his gaze to Heidi.

  “Ready for your big day?” he asks her in such a dad way, it hits me right in the chest. This is the kind of domestic scene she should have had as a kid.

  I glance at Alexa. At least she’ll always—

  “Teller?” Murphy’s voice breaks into my thoughts.

  I turn and find him watching me and wonder if this is the first time he tried to get my attention. “What’re your plans today?”

  Like an idiot, I lift my shoulders. I don’t have anything planned other than annoying my sister this morning.

  “A few small things.”

  “Come help me in the garage after breakfast?” he asks with a look on his face that says he knows I’m full of shit.

  “Sure.”

  Someone knocks on the front door and Rock yells for them to come in. Trinity enters, eager smile in place. “Ready, Heidi?”

  Rock waves his hand over the table. “You can sit down and have breakfast first, right?”

  Trinity grabs a chair next to Hope and drops into it. “I already ate, but I will have some coffee as long as Hope didn’t make it.”

  Hope playfully punches Trinity’s side. “Rock made it.”

  “Where’s your man?” Murphy asks.

  “He’s working at Sully’s today.”

  “Everything going okay there?” Rock asks.

  Trinity’s lashes flutter as if she doesn’t want to give us the full story. “You know how he is. Not thrilled to be working out of someone else’s place.”

  “It’ll be okay,” Hope says, “once Furious is back up and running.”

  Trinity and Murphy both sort of nod at Hope’s optimism. We all know the rebuild of Furious Fitness will take a while to get sorted.

  Heidi finishes her breakfast and stands. I offer to take Alexa, but Trinity holds out her hands. “Oh, let me give Alexa kisses.”

  A few minutes later, there’s a flurry of activity while the girls pack up and head for the door. Heidi seems to get a little teary when it’s time to leave. Especially when Alexa screams bloody murder the minute my sister steps outside.

  “Go ahead, Heidi. She’ll be fine,” I assure her.

  “Shhh. Shhh, I got you, baby,” I keep talking in low tones until Alexa finally settles down.

  “I’ll take her,” Murphy says, coming at her with a damp washcloth to clean her tear-streaked cheeks. Something my little niece doesn’t appreciate.

  “You headed to the garage now?” Rock asks.

  Murphy nods. “I’ll take Alexa.”

  “Get her started in the garage early. Good,” Hope teases.

  “You know it.”

  Rock glances at me. “Take her outside if he’s gonna start anything up.”

  “Yeah, of course, I will.”

  Since I came over and ate their food, I should probably help Hope clean up or something, but Murphy’s eager to leave. Rock’s busy groping his wife while she loads the dishwasher anyway. Everyone seems to have a routine here I know nothing about. It leaves me feeling like an intruder.

  “Doesn’t she work anymore?” I ask Murphy once we’re on the path to the garage.

  “Who? Hope? Yeah, I think so.” He glances back at the house and sniggers. “They’ll probably go at each other for a few hours, then he’ll ride down to the shop and she’ll go to the office.”

  “It’s disturbing that you know that.”

  “You asked.”

  “Da-da,” Alexa babbles as we walk through the woods.

  Murphy runs his hand over her back.

  “Aren’t you supposed to encourage her talking?” I tease.

  He shrugs but doesn’t answer.

  “What’s wrong?” I must be one insensitive motherfucker because it takes a few seconds to puzzle it out. “You feel guilty having her call you Dad?” I ask gently.

  “Maybe,” he answers without looking at me.

  Yeah, he’s scary as fuck on the outside, but inside, he’s always been sensitive. Probably why we get along so well. He makes up for what I lack.

  “Figured when she’s a little older I’ll explain her dad’s in heaven or—”

  “Why the fuck would you say that to her? You’re the only father she’s ever gonna know.”

  My best friend turns and glares at me. “She has a right to know about her father. I’m not going to lie to her.”

  “Why not?”

  “The truth always comes out eventually. Isn’t it better for her to know growing up so it’s no big deal, rather than finding out later and hating us for lying to her all her life?”

  Christ, when did he get so fucking smart?

  If it were me, I would’ve scrubbed Axel out of my life for good. The constant reminder of my sister’s first husband has to eat at him. I respect the hell out of Murphy for giving this so much thought.

  “I guess,” I grumble not quite willing to concede.

  He hesitates. “But what if we make too big a deal out of it and she feels like she doesn’t fit in or something?” He glances down at Alexa who reaches up and tugs on his beard. “Shit.”

/>   I shouldn’t laugh because he so clearly wants to do the right thing for my niece. “I think being a parent means you’re fucked no matter what you do.”

  “Christ, you’re not kidding.”

  Turns out our conversation’s appropriate because it’s Axel’s old bike we came to work on today. Murphy keeps it stored in a corner of the club’s garage under a cloth—not that anyone would bother it. “My sister know you still have this?”

  “She knows,” he answers quietly.

  “What are you keepin’ it for? Sell it.”

  He hands Alexa to me and uncovers the bike. “I’m keeping it for Alexa. She can decide what she wants to do with it when she’s older.”

  “What does my sister say?”

  “Why are you so nosy today?”

  “Today? I’m nosy all the time, aren’t I?” Actually, I’m trying to ease up on hovering in my sister’s business. But it’s hard. I only want good things for her. And I really don’t want her to hurt my best friend again.

  As if she senses my inner struggle or maybe she just doesn’t like me not paying one hundred percent attention to her, Alexa grabs at my cheek. I pretend to bite her tiny hands, making loud nom-nom noises, pulling a series of shrill giggles from her.

  I’ll definitely murder anyone who even thinks of hurting this precious little girl.

  Since we’re bearing our souls and all it seems like the right time to have a certain conversation I’ve been meaning to have with my brother.

  “Hey, I need to talk to you about something.”

  “Speak,” Murphy mumbles as he drops down to work on the bike.

  We’re in the back corner of the garage. Not much chance of anyone overhearing us. Even so, I lower my voice.

  “I need our conversation to stay between us.” This isn’t a completely unusual request. Murphy and I go so far back, we hold plenty of secrets between us. We declared ourselves brothers before we ever earned our Lost Kings MC patches. Over the years we’ve shared stuff with only each other when the time wasn’t right to bring it to the club.

  This is a slightly different situation, but I still trust Murphy to have my back. “It’s about Charlotte.”

  He tips his head up. “Yeah, what about her?”

  “We’ve kind of been seeing each other.”