Beyond Reckless

by Autumn Jones Lake

  He nods in what I think is approval, so I continue. “You remember Hope was real careful to keep any mention of the club out of the custody case.” Rock makes an affirmative sound. “Charlotte didn’t know about my affiliation until my grandmother’s funeral. She freaked out. We ended things badly. And I always felt shitty about it.”

  “You’ve had a lot going on the last few years,” he says.

  “Yeah, well. When I went with Heidi and Murphy to her office and saw her again.” I drop my gaze, shaking my head. “I was planning to contact her.” I wave my hand over my leg. “Once I got myself sorted out. But then I ran into her at that party—”

  “So that’s where you’ve been spending your time lately?”

  I shouldn’t be surprised Rock knows I haven’t been around a lot. As much as he pretends to be disinterested in what we’re up to now that he and Hope are in their own house, I don’t doubt he keeps tabs on our whereabouts. Especially me. “You got Murphy spying on me, Prez?”

  The corners of his mouth turn up and for the first time today he seems genuinely amused. “Not very well, apparently.”

  “I only told him a couple days ago.”

  “Ah, okay.” He jerks his thumb toward the door. “Be aware, Wrath’s going to be a dick to her. He’ll probably test her worse than the shit he pulled with Hope.” He drops the smile. “But you understand why.”

  “Yeah. Charlotte can hold her own. She also understands the way things work.”

  “Well, at least she has that going for her.” He shakes his head. “Goddamn. Sway’s daughter is single, you know. You wanted a biker’s girl, you coulda at least kept it in the family.”

  I raise an eyebrow. “Tawny-lite? No, thanks. I’ll pass.”

  Murphy slaps my back when I finally leave the war room. “Glad you came clean today.”

  “Couldn’t wait anymore.”

  “It’ll work out. You wouldn’t go through all this if you weren’t serious.”

  “No shit,” I mutter.

  “You good? I need to take off.”

  “I’m fine.” I scan the room, my gaze landing on Hope.

  As usual, she’s waiting for Rock in the living room. Normally Trinity would be right next to her.

  “Where’s your sidekick?” I ask, walking over to her. The rest of the clubhouse seems empty although there’s plenty of noise coming from the dining room and outside.

  Hope wrinkles her nose. “Baking? I don’t know. I didn’t ask a lot of questions. You know how she gets in the kitchen.”

  I snap my fingers. “Wrath’s birthday is coming up.” I glance back at the open war room doors. “No wonder he was such a cranky bastard today.”

  She squints. “Isn’t he always cranky?”

  “I heard that, Cinderella.”

  “Of course you did,” I mutter.

  A few seconds later, Wrath slaps me on the back, nearly knocking me over. “Did you run and tell Mommy I was mean to you about your new girlfriend coming to visit?”

  “Would you stop that?” Hope protests. “I am not old enough to be his mother.”

  Wrath waves a hand at her, which she slaps away. “You know what I mean.”

  I can clearly remember these two interacting in a much different, much more hostile way in this very living room the first time Hope attended a party at the clubhouse.

  Maybe there’s a chance Charlotte will fit in here after all.

  One day.

  “Go on. Tell Hope all about how you had to copy Dad.” Wrath snickers. “It would be funny if not for the other thing.”

  “You’re a dick.”

  “What’s the other thing?” Hope asks instead of the more obvious question.

  “She’s related to the president of the Wolf Knights MC,” I explain, sitting next to her.

  Her eyes widen. “Really? Well, she’ll probably know how to handle herself better when Wrath harasses her than I did.”

  Wrath pats her head, messing up her hair, and she swats at him. “You did fine, Cinderella.”

  “Are you harassing my wife?” Rock asks, slapping Wrath on the back.

  “Nope.”

  Hope shakes her head. “No, we’re talking about Teller’s new girlfriend.”

  I find it amusing that Hope’s always willing to defend one of us if she thinks we’re going to get in trouble with Rock.

  Rock lifts his chin my way, then squeezes Wrath’s shoulder, probably harder than necessary. “I need you and Z in the office to look at something.”

  “Now?”

  “Now.”

  After they leave, Hope turns her full attention to me.

  “So, you must really like this girl,” Hope says.

  “It’s Charlotte, by the way.” I figure I should get that out first.

  Her mouth curves into a sly smile.

  “Why do I get the feeling you knew? Did she say something to you?”

  “Not directly.”

  I have no idea what to make of that.

  “It’s not that she’s a lawyer that’s the problem? You said she’s related to…” she trails off as she seems to search her memory. “Merlin, right? That’s the Wolf Knights’ president? He was at our wedding. So we’re on good terms with their club, right?”

  She seems pleased she remembered this nugget of knowledge about our world.

  “Yes, but—”

  “Kings first?”

  “Always.”

  She nods. “So you must really like her.”

  “I do. She’s funny. She’s got this little shithead of a brother that she’s loyal to and he tries so hard to be protective of her even though he goes about it totally wrong. She’s definitely not impressed with this.” I tap my finger over my Treasurer patch. “Somehow she has a sweet way of telling me when I’m acting like a jerk that just makes me like her even more. She gets me. But…”

  Hope waits while I gather my thoughts. I don’t know how to put the rest of it into words. Don’t know if I can put into words. This feeling has been nagging at me ever since I realized I was falling for Charlotte and it has nothing to do with the club. “I don’t have a good track record with women. My mother abandoned me. My grandmother kicked me out. The first girl I thought I was in love with was in love with someone else.” Christ, I sound like a whiny bastard. “Or I fuck up and they get hurt.” I choke on my last words. “I don’t want to hurt her.”

  “And you don’t want to fall in love and get hurt?” she asks gently.

  “That’s all I’ve ever known.” Not that Hope knows this, but for some reason, I feel like apologizing to her. “It’s why I never totally trusted you. Figured you’d get sick of this and leave. Break his heart.”

  “Rock?”

  “Yeah. Watched him go through that shit with Carla. She left him when he was inside. They took vows. Meant nothing to her.”

  Hope’s unlike any woman I’ve ever known. She doesn’t get pissed when I bring up Rock’s ex-wife. She squeezes my hand and lets me continue.

  “And Murphy’s so enamored of you. Figured you’d crush him too if you left. Watched him go through that with his mom for years.”

  “I bet. He’s told me a little.”

  “See. He trusts you. He’s never talked about that shit with anyone. Except maybe Trinity when his mom died.”

  “He told me that too.”

  I shake my head. “He never cried or complained. Nothing like that. But I’d see it in his face every time she tried to get clean. The hope that she’d finally be a mother. Then the disappointment when she failed again.”

  “That’s rough.” She glances down as if she’s not sure she should voice her thoughts. “You’ve both overcome so much.”

  A sharp snort bursts out of me and I shake my head “I should’ve listened to him when he told me how he felt about Heidi. Maybe she wouldn’t have gone through all that hell with Axel. I really fucked that up.”

  “Teller. You’re not responsible for everything that happens to her.”

 
“Yes, I am.” If only she knew how much of the bad shit that’s happened to Heidi was my fault. “Shit, Hope. I can’t…I can’t thank you enough for all the stuff you’ve done for her.”

  Pink spreads over her cheeks and she turns her head. “I’m happy to do it.”

  “I get that about you now.”

  She turns serious. “I hate to break it you, but I’m not going anywhere. Rock, the club, you’re all stuck with me. Sorry-not-sorry.”

  I kind of figured that the way she used “we” to describe the relationship between the Lost Kings and Wolf Knights a few minutes ago. “I’m not sure we could survive without you now.”

  “So you were worried about Rock?” she asks. “I always assumed you didn’t like me taking his time away from the club.”

  “That might’ve been Wrath’s concern. But not mine. He deserves to be happy. You make him happy.”

  “Oh, Teller.” She wraps her arms around my shoulders and squeezes me.

  “I don’t have any faith that’s in my future,” I mumble against her hair. “I’ve fucked up way too many times.”

  Pushing me back, she stares me straight in the eyes. “From what you’ve said, You seem to have a lot in common. That’s a start.”

  “You and Rock don’t have a lot in common.”

  She chuckles. “Maybe on the surface.” She places her hand over her heart. “At our core though, I think we do.”

  I turn that over in my head.

  “It’s already causing all kinds of chaos,” I gesture to the war room, “and she hasn’t even been here yet.”

  “I can imagine.” Her soft green eyes never stray. “But, love is worth all the chaos, Teller. I promise.” She hesitates for a second. “Maybe you don’t see it, but you’re a good person.”

  “I—”

  She cuts off my protest. “I know you blame yourself for what happened to Mariella. But it’s not your fault.” Her eyes shine with unshed tears, but her voice is steady. “You made her feel safe and happy for the first time in her life.”

  “She trusted me to keep her safe and I didn’t.”

  “Sometimes, no matter how hard we try, it’s not up to us, Teller. You deserve to be happy. To be loved.”

  Shit, this woman’s going to make me cry.

  “I’ll have to get to know her a little better before I decide if she’s worthy of you, though,” she teases, bumping her shoulder against me to lighten up the conversation.

  This is Hope. Always guiding and steering us in the right direction when we need it. Sometimes I’ve resented her for it. Like when she helped Murphy figure out how to handle my sister.

  Now, I welcome it.

  She somehow managed to settle Rock down. Make him happy. While he’s always been like a father—or older brother—to me and a damn good president to this club, he was never happy. Not until her.

  So maybe, just maybe, she knows what she’s talking about and I should listen to her.

  “You know what?” she asks, squeezing my hand again.

  “What?”

  “I think you’ve spent your whole life taking care of other people. Maybe it’s time for you to be with someone who can take care of herself. Even better, she understands the club life.”

  “She doesn’t need a guy like me in her life.”

  “But it sounds like she wants you. Isn’t that better?”

  CHAPTER TWENTY-SIX

  Saturday morning, Murphy’s at my door early.

  “Shit, surprised you’re actually here, bro,” he says, stepping away from the door.

  I scrub my hand over my face. “What the fuck you want at this hour?”

  “You bringing Charlotte up tonight?”

  “I think so. Yeah.”

  “Cool. You coming down for breakfast?”

  “Now that you woke me up, I guess so.”

  He waits in the hallway while I take a quick shower and get dressed. When I open the door, he’s talking to Z.

  “Morning.” Z squints. “Wait, who are you again? It’s been so long.”

  “Shut up.”

  “Bringing your girl up tonight?”

  “Maybe. Jesus. Why is everyone so fucking interested in who I bring up here all of a sudden?”

  “You’ve never brought a girl home to meet Mom and Dad,” Z says, following me down the hall.

  “I assume you’re Mom. Who’s Dad?”

  Behind me Murphy chuckles. Z smacks me.

  Heidi runs up and gives me a big hug when we enter the dining room. “I’m so happy you told everyone. It’s been killing me.”

  I take her aside. “You’re really excited about this?”

  “Uh, yeah. Trin has a photo shoot tonight, so we probably won’t be back until later, but I’ll make sure I stop by.”

  Thank God. Hopefully Wrath will be with the girls instead of here harassing my girl.

  Shaking my head, I sling my arm over her shoulder and lead her to the table.

  “Morning, Alexa.” She turns and waves her arms for me to pick her up out of her high chair.

  “You bring this over?” I ask Murphy.

  “No, I bought one so she has it here,” Rock answers.

  Inside, I’m laughing. No one will dare question Rock sticking a high chair in our clubhouse. If Murphy had done it, he would’ve had the shit razzed out of him.

  Surprisingly, no one grills me about Charlotte over breakfast. Rock and Wrath discuss the trip they’re planning to take with Hope and Trinity. Z informs them that the first stop on their trip will be Sway’s place, which makes Hope cringe. She and Trinity make eye-rolling faces at each other.

  “You two going?” I ask Murphy.

  “He was invited,” Wrath says. His gaze slides my way. “Everyone is.”

  Murphy glares across the table.

  “I can watch Alexa for a couple days,” I offer.

  “You’d do that?” Heidi asks.

  “Don’t worry about it. I have plenty to do here,” Murphy says.

  “Come on.” I lift my chin at Heidi. “She’s going back to school soon.” I tilt my head Trinity’s way. “Her boss is on vacation.”

  “Your place of employment burned down,” Wrath adds.

  “You sure?” Murphy asks.

  “I love watching her. It’ll be fine.”

  “You can stay at our house with her, Teller,” Hope says.

  “Thanks.”

  “Or here,” Sparks suggests. “Half the club’s gonna be gone.”

  “You don’t have to do the whole trip,” Wrath says.

  “Yeah, I’m only doing the first week. I need to be back here,” Z says.

  Murphy glances at my sister and she eagerly nods.

  “All right.” Murphy slaps my open palm. “Thanks.”

  Alexa lets out a high-pitched squee. “See, she’s thrilled to spend the week with me.”

  After breakfast, Hope grabs my arm, pulling me away from everyone else. “Are you bringing Charlotte up tonight?”

  One corner of my mouth lifts. I’d been waiting for her to ask. “Yeah.”

  “Do you want me here for support? Or do you think that will make it weird for her?”

  I swallow hard before answering. “It might make her feel better. She knows you.”

  She squeezes my arm. “Then we’ll be here.”

  On my way to Charlotte’s, I’m feeling more optimistic. I show up on her doorstep with a smile.

  She looks completely frazzled as she lets me in. I wrap my arms around her stiff body and slowly she relaxes into mine.

  “What’s wrong?” I ask, kissing the top of her head.

  A few seconds go by before she answers. “Nothing. I’m happy to see you.”

  “You don’t look happy.”

  She tips her head back and pastes on a fake smile. “Kiss me. Maybe that will help.”

  “Can’t say no to that.”

  I lean over and press my lips to hers, soft at first. A slow greeting. My tongue flicks out for a taste and she opens her mout
h. “You taste so good,” rumbles out of my mouth before I kiss her deeper.

  She pulls back.

  “What’s wrong?”

  A soft sigh and she steps away, dropping down to the couch. “The electric was shut off over at my mother’s.”

  Not sure how to respond, I wait for her to continue.

  “My brother’s stopping by any minute.” She nods to her desk by the door and stands. “I need to go change. There’s a check in my top desk drawer, can you hand it to him if—”

  “Yeah, sure.” She looks so miserable, I want to do more. “We don’t have to go up to the clubhouse tonight.”

  “No. I’ve been looking forward to it.” She scurries down the hall.

  Electric shut off.

  I sure as shit lived through that happening enough times when we lived with my mother and Heidi was just a baby.

  Unsure because it feels too much like snooping, I slide the drawer open so I can have the check ready for Carter. Her desk’s cluttered with pens, pencils, tape, pennies, stamps, quarters, and her checkbook. I slip that out and flip through it, not finding anything made out to Carter.

  I’m about to call out and ask where it is when another name catches my attention.

  Her checkbook has those carbon copy things so you can see all the old checks written for those who don’t bother balancing their account. I flip through, finding regular payments made out to her uncle.

  Hefty payments.

  What the fuck?

  His niece is living in this shithole of an apartment, driving a bucket of rust to work, and he’s been collecting thousands of dollars a year from her for the last few years. I already know she helps Carter support their mother. Who the fuck supports her?

  “Did you find it?” Charlotte asks.

  “No.”

  She glances at the checkbook in my hand. “Sorry, it’s in that envelope.”

  “Charlotte, why are you paying your uncle twelve hundred dollars a month?”

  “What?” She snatches the checkbook out of my hands. “Why are you snooping?”

  “I wasn’t. You asked me to go in there and that seemed like a reasonable place to look for a check.”

  “It’s nothing. I don’t want to talk about it.”

  “What do you mean, it’s nothing? That asshole doesn’t need your money.” From what I know, Merlin’s sitting pretty plush right now. “You’re living in this shitty apartment—”