JennasConsent

by Jennifer Kacey

  His rope sang to her in his silence, but that was dangerous because it told her all the things she wanted him to say. As he untied the double column ties around her wrists, freeing her, she tried to close her ears to his siren song.

  It would do nothing but dash her heart across the rocks circling the shoreline.

  He was dangerous to her. Her sanity, her freedom and independence.

  She didn’t need him anymore.

  Not him.

  Not after what he did.

  He laid her arms down on either side of his thighs and rubbed them up and down, urging her blood to flow back to her fingertips.

  It was all-consuming to feel his strong hands against her.

  She tucked her arms between their bodies to push him away.

  “Not yet,” he soothed, grasping the back of her neck, holding her to him.

  She listened, no matter how much she wanted to fight him.

  Satisfied she wasn’t going to go anywhere, he picked up his length of rope from wherever he had it behind her. Maybe across his knee.

  He moved his arms back and forth and she didn’t even have to open her eyes to see what he was doing.

  Coiling his rope.

  The look of concentration that would be on his face to get it just right, the way the muscles in his arms moved and flexed as he wound the strands between his fingers back and forth. His look of satisfaction as he tucked the end of the rope into the wraps he wound around the middle.

  She remembered him doing it before.

  After a long scene together and after he cared for her, he’d coil all his rope, readying them to start again.

  She curled her fingers against his chest, pushing her upper body away from him. He held her hips to him, kneading her flesh, enticing her to stay.

  Jenna stared at him, confused, wondering so many things. But for once she kept her mouth closed, along with her heart.

  “For you,” he mumbled.

  He held the rope up between her arms, giving it to her.

  As if it were some sort of peace offering.

  A gift of rope from a rigger to their bottom was a big deal.

  She took it with one hand and their fingers met around the substance that brought them together the first time so long ago.

  The sizzle and a shock of electricity zapped up her arm and she cried out. She tried to trap the sound but it would stay caged no longer.

  His mouth was on hers before she could say his name.

  It wasn’t all his doing, though she wanted to blame him for it.

  They met in the middle, coming together with an explosive kiss poets could write sonnets about.

  “You taste even sweeter than I remembered.”

  “Then taste me again.”

  Surely that wasn’t her voice. No way was that her hand fisting his hair at the back of his head, holding him to her as if he were in any danger of disappearing beneath her.

  He nipped her upper lip, sucking the lower one into his mouth. He stretched it, and then he licked the pain away.

  He tilted her head to the side, angling her mouth so he could taste her, touch her. His tongue snuck inside as if it were a villain there to steal her most prized possession.

  Her heart.

  An image of Nick popped into her head and she shoved Ian away, scrambling up from where she sat perched on his lap.

  Embarrassment flamed up her cheeks as she noticed a wet spot on his crotch that had to have come from her.

  “Get out,” she trembled. She cut him off before he could speak. “This place. The Library. It’s my safe place. My haven. How dare you show up here and think you can strip that from me?”

  “Listen, Jenna—”

  “Get the fuck out!” She clenched her fist around something and she looked down to find his coil of rope held so tight her knuckles had turned white.

  He moved in close but didn’t touch her.

  It took every ounce of strength she had left to stand her ground.

  “This is far from over. I need you.”

  It wasn’t a threat, it was a promise and she could see the glint of it in his eyes before he turned and stalked out.

  She stumbled into the bathroom, slamming the door, locking it behind her.

  It took her several times because her fingers wouldn’t cooperate.

  She put her back against the smooth wood, sliding into the fetal position, making herself as small as possible.

  I need you.

  How could he say something so devastating and then just walk away?

  Oh yeah.

  That’s what he was good at.

  Walking away.

  She clutched his rope to her chest, dropped her head to her knees and cried.

  Chapter Thirteen

  Time passed.

  How much Jenna didn’t know but her whole body was one big ache when she finally stood.

  Questions ran through her mind, one after another, racing so fast she couldn’t focus on just one.

  Why was he here?

  Why did he agree to be her third with Nick after he couldn’t accept it before?

  How long was he going to stay?

  Why did he leave her before?

  Why did he show up now?

  How much trouble was she going to be in when Nick came back to the club the next day?

  Could she handle working with Ian?

  Would she be strong enough to leave this time if it came down to it?

  A headache pounded in her temples as she wiped the last of her tears from her cheeks.

  Catching a glimpse of her reflection in the mirror wasn’t the smartest thing she’d done for herself in a while.

  She looked like she had when he’d first left her.

  Her hand twitched and she caught sight of his rope still in her hand.

  Opening the door and chucking it into the other room sounded like a good plan, so she went with it. The door handle bounced off the wall and she flung his hank of rope as hard as she could. It caught the edge of her suspension ring in the middle of the room, making it spin.

  It reminded her of a disco ball, but without the big collars or wide pant legs.

  She closed her eyes, covering them with her fingertips. It had to be early still but she decided to call it a night.

  Was she running?

  Not exactly.

  But she wasn’t going to be any good to anyone at The Library anyway so there wasn’t any point in her staying.

  She was going to have to get her head on straight.

  Crawling into a tub of Neapolitan ice cream and curling up to stay a while sounded like a great place to start.

  She wetted a washcloth and washed her face, trying to find some equilibrium so she could at least get to her car…

  A groan slipped out and she hung her head.

  She had arrived at the club with Cyn because her car was in the shop to get her tires changed. The guy doing it was a friend and had promised to take it back to her house, but she had to get a ride home from someone. Cyn and Haleigh were both busy with their men and Skye was out somewhere with Jackson…

  “I’ll just call a cab,” she mumbled to herself as she crossed into the other room to grab her stuff.

  “I’ll give you a ride if you need to leave.” Ian stood to his full height from where he’d been leaning against one of the walls.

  How in the world had he gotten back inside?

  Oh.

  Right.

  He knew the code.

  Super.

  She stiffened, knowing full-well he must have heard her mourning him.

  Serves him right, after what he did.

  “No thanks. Assho—” A knock on the door cut her off.

  She walked past Ian, making a wide circle around him to open the door, “What?”

  “And good evening to you, too, my pissy friend.” Oscar stood there looking tired and curious about her bad mood.

  At least one person in the club hadn’t heard about her unceremonial removal from
the playroom downstairs.

  “The twins told me you needed a ride home.” He yawned, probably trying to shake off his fatigue.

  It didn’t work.

  “You live on the other end of town and you’ve been working doubles between Inkfluence and here. Go crash downstairs somewhere and I’ll find—”

  “A way of being grateful for a lift.” Ian finished for her.

  She turned on him, letting the door go, singeing the air between them with a glare. “I think I’ll pass.”

  “Hey, Bryan,” Oscar called from the doorway as he wedged it open with his body.

  “Hey.” He never took his eyes from her and she knew it even when she turned her back on him to grab her things. She nonchalantly grabbed her mask on the way past it and shoved it into her bag, zipping it back up as if it were a mortuary bag holding a dead body.

  “You know Jenna already?” Oscar inquired.

  “No.”

  “Intimately.”

  She ground her teeth at their opposing statements.

  “All righty then,” Oscar remarked with a fair bit of sarcasm. “Now that that’s all cleared up, Jenna you need any help?”

  Jenna swung her purse over her shoulder, grabbing her rope bag. Leaving it there, where certain people had access to it left a bit to be desired.

  “Yeah, can you just call me a cab?”

  “She doesn’t need it, I’m taking her home.”

  “No, you’re not.”

  “Sure am. That’s what friends are for. Let’s go.” He snatched her wrist and she made a fist so he couldn’t lace his fingers with hers.

  “Friends. Really? And I’m not an animal, stop yanking on me.”

  “You’re as stubborn as a mule and digging your heels in like one. If the shoe fits.”

  They left Oscar holding the door ajar with his mouth askew to match. “No worries, I’ll just lock up here.”

  “Thanks, Oscar.”

  “Good.”

  She tried to turn and smile at Oscar or beg for help or something but Ian never stopped. “Stop being so pushy.”

  “No.”

  “You know, your little one-word answers are irritating the hell out of me.”

  “Okay.”

  She growled a bit as he towed her toward the elevator and she clamped her mouth shut, determined not to say a word to him on the way home.

  * * * * *

  The trip home passed within the blink of an eye.

  Especially since the blink had turned into a tiny bit of a cat nap.

  Exhaustion pulled at her and it pissed her off that she apparently trusted Ian enough to sleep while he drove.

  She didn’t tell him where she lived but when she woke up he was pulling into her driveway.

  Would he just let her get out and go inside?

  No.

  He parked, shutting off the engine, silently insisting on walking her up. He handed her purse to her, shouldering her bag as if it weighed nothing.

  His hand guiding her up the walkway shouldn’t have sent chills up her spine.

  To any of her neighbors, it probably looked as if they were coming home from a date or he was a family member stopping by to spend the night.

  She tugged her keys from her purse and he took them before they got to her front door.

  “I’m fully capable of opening my own door, Ian.”

  “Humor me.”

  A humorless laugh bubbled out of her. “I think I’ll pass but thanks for bringing me home.”

  He opened the door, holding it wide for her. She turned to take her bag from him but he walked right in shutting the door behind him.

  “You are not staying.”

  He set her rope bag down and stared at her but said nothing.

  “What does that look mean? You’re not staying,” she protested again.

  “Look.” He ran a hand over his hair. “I’m…trying here.”

  Exhaustion plagued her as she felt him staring again.

  Emotions bombarded her as he led her to her sofa and sat beside him.

  He was in her house, on her couch and she’d already worn his rope.

  Nerves, excitement, horniness, anger…it all bounced around inside her, vying for a spot in her brain. She felt hot and needy and her nipples rasped against the inner lining of her corset every time she took a breath.

  Holding her breath seemed a better idea. It took every ounce of hard-earned self-control not to moan when she exhaled after breathing in the intoxicating scent of the man sitting next to her.

  Ian leaned back with an arm carelessly thrown behind her, one ankle crossed at the knee that he held with his opposite hand. He was mindlessly playing with a lock of her hair.

  The goose bumps that rose on her arms were the only sign of betrayal from her body that she couldn’t fight.

  A small shiver worked up and she concentrated on keeping her breathing regulated even when all she wanted to do was crawl into his lap, take out the huge erection he didn’t seem worried about at all, and ride him until she couldn’t think any more about his betrayal.

  Mostly she just felt lost.

  “Are you cold?” he asked nonchalantly as his warm hand ran across her shoulder. Of course he had noticed. It was one of the things she’d missed so much when he left, and the thing she hated the most as she sat so close to him.

  “No,” she bit out. But at least she didn’t sound breathless and on the verge of the climax she knew was just a few well-positioned strokes away. “Why are you here?”

  “Here as in, in your living room or on the planet? Because if it’s the latter it’s going to be a long night.”

  She wanted to smile, appreciated his attempt at humor to break the ice, but had no desire to encourage him.

  “Let’s start with here in Arcadia and we’ll go from there.”

  He thought for a second, continuing to play with her hair. “Let’s call it unfinished business for now.”

  “Unfinished— Is that what you call it?”

  “Yes. And what about you? Why Arcadia?”

  “The Library.” She didn’t even have to think of her answer. “Chris and Jared were looking for someone with my skill set and they made me an offer I couldn’t refuse. I had nothing to stay in Chicago for.” She’d stayed for a couple years, not so secretly waiting for Ian to come back and find her. But when she’d come home from Japan, she’d known it was time to move on.

  The timing on the offer from the Kennedys couldn’t have come at a better time.

  “Running from something, were you?”

  He asked the question and she raised an eyebrow at him. “You’re joking right? You really want to go there with me?”

  “Sure do.” Talk about the proverbial gloves coming off.

  “You fucking disappeared on me. Not just, ‘hey I’m running out for a burger’, but left, moved and never called me again.”

  He shrugged as if it wasn’t the most traumatic thing that had ever happened to her. “The timing wasn’t right. And I had some family stuff come up.”

  “What? For you to pick up the damn phone and tell me it was over? A call that could have lasted no more than a few minutes would have saved me from…” She trailed off not really wanting to go there.

  “From what?”

  “You want me to bare my feelings, yet somehow or another you think you’re too good to do the same? Fuck you.”

  She felt as much as saw Ian’s heavy boot hit the floor a moment before he stood. His fingers dragging across her upper back as he unfolded himself from beside her.

  “Okay out with it, Jenna,” he demanded as he paced away and then strode back to loom over her.

  Uncertainty moved inside her. She wasn’t certain if she really wanted him to bear anything. She didn’t know if she was strong enough to hear it.

  Damn, he shouldn’t have looked that good standing in front of her with his hands hanging loose at his sides. The erection meant for her strained the well-worn jeans that were cupping him like the lover
she used to be.

  Looking up into his slightly annoyed eyes, her temper finally snapped. “What do you expect me to say? That I missed you? That I still want you? That I still lo—” She slammed her teeth together and ground her molars, trapping the words that were about to expose everything that she didn’t want to say. “I will not sit here with you towering over me, baring my feelings, just so you can remind me of all the reasons it won’t work between us. Fuck that.”

  She stood, put her hands on his chest and pushed him hard to get him out of her way.

  “You have said fuck tonight more times in a two-hour span than all the other times combined.” It came out more of a question and Jenna sneered up at his befuddled face.

  She shrugged, unwilling to apologize to him for it. “Yup, I’m all grown up now. I can use words like fuck and pussy and asshat in everyday speech. Now if you’ll excuse me. I have things to do so… It’s been fun.” If she considered having her heart ripped from her body while she was awake fun, then that would have been a riot.

  She moved toward the door, determined to kick him out so she could make out with the ice cream in her freezer.

  She didn’t hear him move because of all of the blood rushing in my ears. And before she could do more than squeak in protest, she was back on her couch again with her legs spread wide to accommodate Ian’s heaving body that was now kneeling in front of her. It should have looked submissive, just as it should have back in the prep room at The Library but that wasn’t possible with him.

  Jenna looked into his eyes that had gone dark with hunger as he spoke.

  “You think knowing I’m hurting you is fun? You think sitting next to you like I’m unaffected by your presence is a good time?” He growled and ran his palms up the tops of her thighs, pushing her white skirt up and out of his way. “Kink is a part of me. A big part. I can’t change who I am.”

  “I’ve never asked you to change. Not ever.”

  “But I wanted to be good enough.”

  “Good enough for what?”

  “You.” His fingers dug between her ass and the back of the couch, tugging her forward, putting her white panties on display for him.

  Her heart flipped over in her chest. “You’re already good enough for me.” She swallowed nervously. “I mean you were. You were.”