She opened the door and found him holding a bag. "I brought burgers."
"Daddy!" Maddie wrapped her arms around his leg.
"Chicken fingers for you, young lady."
He looked up at Mercy and smiled, but there was something behind that smile that didn't feel quite right. She'd spent enough time with Alex to know when his expressions weren't his actual intent.
"Looks like we need to talk about something," she said.
He walked inside, dragging his leg with Maddie attached. "How did you know?"
Her stomach knotted. Anytime someone needed to talk, it wasn't good. "It's in your eyes. Your smile is radiant, but your eyes are dull."
He shook his head. "I don't know how your former husband got away with all he did."
"I wasn't as observant back then. I'm much more vigilant these days."
"Lucky me."
She assumed he was being sarcastic. "Is it something bad?" She had enough bad to last a lifetime.
"Not for me."
Her swallow was like shards of brittle glass slicing her throat. "But bad for me?" This was it; this was where he would tell her it was fun, but over.
"Let's eat, and then we'll talk."
She nodded, even though her stomach wouldn't be able to take food. He brought dinner, and she had to appreciate his thoughtfulness and Maddie's need to eat.
"Hey, Mads, let's set the table."
She let go of her father's leg and moved like an excited puppy to the kitchen.
Mercy took a step to follow.
"Hey," Alex said, reaching out to stop her. "It's not a bad thing, and it's not anything negative about us. I know your past experiences rule your present expectations. I'm not with anyone but you, and I don't want to be because you make me feel things I've never experienced before."
He lowered his lips to hers, and with a slow sensual kiss, he obliterated the fear and the fortress erected around her heart.
At the table, they enjoyed their meal with Mercy picking at her burger and Maddie using enough ketchup to meet her vitamin C requirements for the day.
Once done, Maddie went out back to play, and Mercy got a glass of wine because something told her she'd need it.
"Would you like one?" She raised the bottle of pinot grigio and lifted her chin.
"Sure."
Her heart stuttered because Alex never drank, and if this was a drinking moment, it was big.
She filled the glasses and led him to the patio table.
After a long drink, she straightened her shoulders. "Okay, spill."
Alex studied her for a few seconds, then sipped his wine. "I told you who my father was and what he did. He was an amazing guitarist and a member of one of the biggest bands of their time. The band got nominated for the Rock Music Hall of Fame."
"That's great."
"Yes, it is. While my father couldn't care less about awards, I think he'd find it funny that he had to wait until he was dead to get one." He shook his head. "Anyway, Pablo, the bass player, tracked me down and asked if I'd play at the ceremony."
Her heart swelled for him because music was important, and being there to watch his father get recognized for his contribution had to be validating to Alex.
"That's great. So, when do you leave?"
He gnawed at his lower lip. "So that's the thing. Although you renegotiated your pay, I need more from you, so we'll stick with the old rate. Besides, hasn't anyone told you not to negotiate down if you want to get ahead?"
"Although the money is nice, I refuse to be unfair."
"I'm asking for something big."
If leaving for a few days to honor his father is all he wanted, it was easy to give.
"I'll be happy to take care of Maddie. Just explain to her that you'll be back in a few days."
He brought his glass to his lips and paused. "Here's the thing. The ceremony kicks off a tour, and I told them I'd do that too."
"You what?" She held back her anger and kept her voice at an even keel.
"I said I'd do it."
"Because you assumed I'd watch Maddie, and of course I will, but shouldn't you have checked first?" She pushed her chair back to gain distance. "Oh, that's right. I don't have much of a life, so there was no risk of me being busy."
He reached for her hand, but she kept it out of reach. This wasn't a time to get lost in his touch.
"You have a daughter who needs you."
"It's a bucket list item. You of all people should understand that."
"I get it, but there are times you need to set your needs aside to make sure others come first. I thought you didn't want to be like your father?"
He crossed his arms over his chest. "I'm not like my father."
"No? I didn't know him, but from what I've heard, he would have chosen his career over you any day. I thought you wanted better for your daughter."
"She's not my daughter." He rubbed the scruff on his face. "I got the results back a while ago."
She stared at him. "Why didn't you tell me?"
"Because it didn't matter. I love Maddie, and I want to give her a better life. I'll be gone for about five weeks. How much can change?"
She stared at him for several seconds. "Are you kidding me? We've known each other for less time and look at what's changed in both of our lives." She turned to see Maddie chase a big orange butterfly. "Weeks ago, she had a mother who died and was thrust in front of a man she didn't know. How scary is that? She's had enough change, and leaving for such a long period will send the same message your father sent to you. You didn't matter."
"But she does matter."
Mercy lifted from her seat. "Prove it." She walked down the steps and into the yard.
"Hey, Maddie," she glanced over her shoulder to Alex, whose thin-lipped expression was all she needed to see. "Your dad is ready to go."
She marched up the steps and into the house to get Maddie's backpack.
Alex rushed toward her, setting his hands on her shoulders. "Can't we talk about this more?"
She shook her head. "What's the point? You need to do what you have to." She pushed the backpack against his stomach. "I'll need most of her clothes and some of her favorite toys."
"Are we going to get past this?"
Why did she give her heart to the wrong men?
Chapter Twenty-One
It broke Alex's heart to see Maddie's tears when he told her he had to go.
"Why, Daddy?"
He folded her shirts and placed them in one of his suitcases because her little Disney Princess one was too small. "It's not forever, honey. It's just a few weeks, and then I'll be back."
"Promise?"
How in the world did his father leave him? Surely, Alex had the same forlorn expression each time his dad took off. The difference was Alex knew he would come back, and since they weren't touring for another year, he'd stay.
"You get to stay with Mercy." Thoughts of her twisted his gut. The look of disappointment on her face hollowed him out.
Part of him understood his father's aversion to attachments. By marrying Alex's mother and offering financial support, he fulfilled what he believed were his obligations.
"How about we call Mercy and ask her to meet us for breakfast?" He closed the suitcase and picked Maddie up. "You can have those chocolate chip pancakes you love."
He held her tightly. The thought of letting her go was painful, but he knew if he didn't do the gig, he'd always regret it.
Maddie wrapped her little arms around his neck. "I love Mercy, and I love you."
"I love you both too." He'd never been in love. All these years, he let another organ rule his life, but this feeling he had deep in his soul was different. Her disappointment in him mattered. He wanted to be more for her too.
He took his phone from his pocket and dialed Mercy.
"Hey," she answered. She always had this breathy thing to her voice that heated him from the inside out.
"Good morning." He shifted to put Maddie higher on his h
ip. "I know you're mad at me, but I hoped you'd meet us for breakfast at Maisey's."
There was a pause. "I'm not mad at you. I get why you're doing it, but I'm disappointed in your choices."
He walked to the living room and swiped his keys from the table. "I bet you bring your students to tears."
"Only if they're guilty."
"Should I come to get you?" He was already out the door.
"I'll meet you there. When?"
"Now, I miss you, and I'll make it up to you."
"Make it up to Maddie."
He buckled his girl into her booster seat, and they headed to Maisey's, where he let Maddie pick the table. She seemed to like the one in the back corner. They sat there and waited a few minutes for Mercy.
She took his breath away when she entered. Her hair fell in waves around her shoulders. Those jeans she wore were the kind a man could get jealous of with how they hugged her figure.
A smile softened her features, but he saw underlying questions in her eyes.
When he rose and softly kissed her, she hesitated before returning his affection.
"Thank you for the invite." Rather than sit next to him, she took the space beside Maddie. "Hey, kiddo, how are you?"
Maddie shrugged her shoulders. "I'm sad because Daddy is leaving."
Mercy pulled Maddie to her side. "He'll be back. And who knows, maybe we can watch the award ceremony on TV, so you don't miss him too much." She lifted her eyes to meet his. "Do you have anything else you need me to do? I mean, you're paying for far more than what you're getting."
"You are mad at me."
She shook her head. "No, I'm conflicted. I thought you were different, but you're exactly who I thought you were the first time I met you, and I'm mad at myself for falling so fast."
"What does that mean?"
"It means that you're a musician first."
"It's only one part of who I am." Heat raced up his spine. "I'm more than that."
"You're right, and I'm being unfair. I do get it because I also had a bucket list. On the one hand, I'm glad you can fulfill a dream, but this won't be easy on Maddie."
She pulled a coloring book out of her purse and placed it in front of Maddie. "You want to color, sweetheart?" Mercy was like Mary Poppins with a bag that had everything anyone needed.
Maisey sauntered over. "What's it going to be, kids?"
"Pancakes with chocolate chips for the princess, and I'll have a waffle and bacon," Mercy said.
Maisey turned her attention to Alex. "I don't think I have mentioned this, but I like that new haircut. I bet you get a lot more attention now that people can see your eyes.”
Like a woman army crawling across my lawn this morning kind of attention
“Oh, I haven't really noticed because I'm only interested in one woman.” He laid his hand on top of Mercy's.
Maisey sighed. "Young love."
"It's not that serious," Mercy said.
"The hell it's not." He squeezed her hand.
"Looks like you have some talking to do." Maisey glanced at Maddie and then at him. "What are you hankering for?"
"Peace and patience, but I'll settle for pancakes and sausage."
"You got it." She started to turn and then stopped. "Can Maddie come back to the kitchen with me? Ben could use an assistant. She'll be safe."
He looked to Mercy for an answer while she stared at him. It was Maddie who made the decision. "Can I make the pancakes?" She slithered under the table and popped out the other side. "With a smiley face?"
"That's the only kind." Maisey lifted her chin at Alex. "Okay with you, Dad?"
"Yes, but I want extra love in mine."
As soon as they left, he turned his attention back to Mercy. "This doesn't change the way I feel about you."
"I care about you too, and that's what worries me."
"I'm not a cheater."
"How do you know? You've never had a long-term relationship."
He let her hand go. "Maybe not, but I've also never had a girl I wanted to turn into long-term until I met you. If this is going to work, you have to trust me."
She drew in a deep breath. "If this is going to work, you need to earn my trust."
"I don't like your husband."
"Deceased husband, and you could never despise him as much as I do.”
He got up and moved next to her. "I hate that he took your trust before I could ever earn it."
Moments later, Maddie and Maisey were back with breakfast. And as they ate, he looked at what he'd started to believe was his family. Doc was right; DNA didn't make a daddy.
Alex sat in his first-class chair and thought about the last two days. Mercy was reserved but loving. They never got the alone time he craved. Time to prove to her that she was his, but they spent family time together with Maddie.
Heartbreaking is when your child cries because you're walking away. A significant part of him battled with getting on the plane, but he made a commitment and would honor it. Even that ate at him because he made a bigger commitment to Maddie and failed her.
The flight crew made their announcements, and in minutes, the plane was in the air. There was no turning back now. He opened his carry-on to grab the music Pablo emailed and found Maddie's bear. This was no accident. She'd put it there for him. Was it so he'd remember her, or was it to protect him? He smiled, brought it to his nose, and inhaled her scent. She always smelled like lavender, just like Mercy—Mommy Mercy. She would make a great mom—did make one for Maddie. While he was gone, he had some thinking to do about his life. Where it was and where he wanted it to be.
Chapter Twenty-Two
Mercy woke up with a ball of heat tucked next to her and stroked Maddie's hair away from her face. It had been three days since Alex left, and they were the longest of her life. Somewhere between he's not her type and his flight to Los Angeles, she fell in love with him.
It didn't work in her favor that Maddie had pulled every other heartstring she had.
Maddie's sleepy eyes fluttered open, and she stared into Mercy's. This was supposed to be her life—beautiful daughter, faithful husband, satisfying job. People say you can't have it all, but why not?
She kissed the top of Maddie's head. "Are you hungry?"
She snuggled closer to Mercy. "Five more minutes."
Mercy laughed. "We can cuddle all day if you like."
"Where's Daddy?" She asked the same question about ten times a day.
"He's in Los Angeles. We get to see him on television tonight."
"I am so excited."
"Me too, sweetheart."
Alex deserved some credit; he called several times a day and sent flowers to both of them. Maddie's were the bright-colored daisies, and hers were red roses. If she dug deep into the meaning, those indicated love, but would a man who loved her leave?
She was being ridiculous and knew it. This was on his bucket list, and dreams should be realized, or at least chased. Who could fault him for wanting to play in his dad's band?
It was more than playing at the awards ceremony for Alex. This was all about the validation his father never gave him. To step on stage and into his father's shoes meant that he'd made it. He had craved his dad's approval and never got it, so this gig was a way of putting that to rest. If Alex Cruz was good enough to play his father's music, he must be good enough.
"How about we get a bowl of cereal and veg out on the couch with cartoons or a Disney movie?"
Maddie was halfway off the bed. "Little Mermaid." She ran barefooted to the living room.
Mercy was certain by the time she got there, Maddie would already have the television tuned to the Disney Channel, a gift from Alex before he left.
"Cheerios or Apple Jacks?" she asked.
"Cheerios," Maddie answered.
A few minutes later, they cuddled beside each other and watched Princess Ariel find her happily ever after.
At two o'clock, Alex called. He had his own ringtone that Maddie picked out. It was barking
dogs, and when Mercy asked why, all she said was she liked dogs and her daddy.
Kids were simple. There was no deception; they were who they were.
"Do you want to answer?" She handed her phone to Maddie, who squealed an excited hello.
For the next ten minutes, she watched her grow more animated, telling Alex about Ariel and Prince Eric and how someday she would marry a prince, and they could all live in the castle together.
"Daddy wants to talk to you."
Why did her heart flutter every time? She was supposed to be mad at him but who didn't love a bad boy who turned out to be a good man. He'd accepted responsibility for a child that wasn't even his because he wanted her to have a better life. How could she not love him for that?
"Hey, you. Are you nervous?"
Though he'd never admit it, she thought he probably was. This wasn't a crowd of fifty thousand, it was millions across the globe tuning into the show.
"Nervous? Not about the show."
What else would he be nervous about? "Do you need to talk about it?"
"I'm just working some stuff out in my head. You gave me a lot to think about when you told me I needed to prove it."
A pang of guilt pricked her heart. "I may have been too hard on you."
"No, I don't think you were. One thing is for sure, and that's I need you."
"You need me?" That was a stretch for a man who could have anyone, but she liked how it sounded.
"I do. You're wise and kind, and your priorities are straight."
She laughed. "My priorities have to be, or I'm homeless."
"I'd never let that happen to you." There was a pause. "I miss you, Mercy. More than I ever thought possible, and I'm so sorry I disappointed you."
"I'm sorry too. We're learning all this together. Children are my specialty—"
"Bet you didn't expect to have a thirty-eight-year-old kid on your hands."
"That wasn't even a thought in my mind. I was going to say that children are easy, but this adulting stuff is tougher than it looks. I miss you too. When you get back, can we start over again?" She held her breath, waiting for his reply.
One Hundred Lessons (An Aspen Cove Small Town Romance Book 15) Page 14
