by Susan Stec
I continued. "I don't know. There are five of us. We're… umm…new customers. How do you deliver? And what do we need to do to get set up on regular shipments?"
"We deliver as often as you need it and the amount is up to you." Her saccharin voice told us.
"Alright," I said, lifting my shoulders at the girls with a silly smile on my face. "We'll take three a day for each of us. That's fifteen. You can ship once a week or daily, or whatever everyone else does." I grinned at Jeni, who was leaning back with her pad and pen poised in anticipation. Resi and Zaire started to giggle. JoAnn, alert, hovering with her face close to the phone, hung on every word.
"May I suggest that we ship at least biweekly to insure freshness?" Buffy offered.
"Biweekly is fine. Can we set up regular week days so we can make plans for one of us to be here for the shipments?" I asked, thinking this was way too easy.
"Are Mondays and Thursdays good for you?"
Resi covered her mouth as I sent a questioning look at them. They all nodded their heads.
"Yes, that's good. So, that means we will get fifty-three bags on Mondays and fifty-two on Thursdays. Is that correct?"
"I would suggest getting a few extra on Thursdays in case you run out, or need more than you anticipated. We can overnight you blood, of course, but having, let's say, twelve extra, delivered on Thursdays, might just keep you from running out if there is an emergency. We've found that our clients need more on the weekends. Usually they end up calling for extra bags during the day, or on Sundays when there is no one here staffing the phones. We hate to have you run out." Buffy was overflowing with information.
JoAnn was busy adding the sums in her head and mine. My Mother was looking at me as if this were some kind of joke. Jeni jotted everything down, and the girls were laughing under hands stretched across their mouths.
I tried to concentrate on the call. "Okay, so we'll get fifty seven on Mondays and sixty on Thursdays. Right?"
"Yes. Now can I have the name of your clan and the address you want it sent to?"
Zaire and Resi got up and left the room, their laughter echoing into the living room from the kitchen as they came up with several names for our Clan. I heard, 'The Slaughtered House Five', 'Death Becomes Us Beautifully Fanged', and 'A Family that Slays Together, Stays Together', before tuning them out.
"Stech. The name of our Clan is just Stech. What kind of credit cards do you take?" I asked, glaring in the direction of the kitchen.
"Oh, we don't take payment for blood. You're a member now. All you will need to do before we ship out the second order is fill out the registration forms and sign the contract. They will be in the first shipment. The council requires the information so they can reach you if they need your help."
That shut everyone up.
"What contract? I don't understand?"
"Well, BAMVC can monitor their members by delivery of regular shipments. The contract simply assures that you know the rules. In addition, from time to time the council needs information on… others… that may reside in and around your area. When you sign the contract, you are stating that your clan is willing to assist if necessary. It's a trade-off. You get what you need, they expect you to give back. But I assure you, it doesn't happen very often."
Somehow, I felt by sending back the contract, I would be signing my soul away to the devil.
"And if we don't send back the contracts signed?"
"Well then, you would be on your own. I suggest you sign. Your membership gives you all the benefits of belonging to the BAMVC family, protection being the biggest perk."
I thought about checking out the possibility of a swimming pool and gym as part of the package, but asked, "Can you hold on a minute?"
"Of course, take all the time you need."
I pushed the mute button. "Okay, so now what?"
"Mother, just finish the call. We can read the contract when it gets here. I really see no problem. Look at it this way, instead of losing a mortal life; you gain a whole family of blood suckers."
I wanted to wipe the smirk off Jeni's face but, instead, I opted for pressing the mute button to get us back to Buffy the Customer-Slayer. "Thank you. Now I would like to get a message to the council."
"You can do that on our Web site. It's www.BAMVC.com. They pick up correspondence daily."
Jeni got up and headed toward the computer. I was not ready to give up. "So, there's no way to talk to or leave a verbal message?" I asked, wishing I could be in the same room with her for just five minutes.
"No." Buffy stated emphatically, getting a snicker from Jeni.
"Thank you Buffy. Have a nice evening," I spat out sarcastically, "AND FOREVER WALK IN THEIR FUCKING SHADOWS."
"Burning your bridges, Mommy Dearest?" Jeni smiled at me, typing away.
"I am not getting on a plane, Susan," Mom said with a snarl.
"I think we should go meet with them, Nanna." Resi was standing in the kitchen, trying to crank up my mother a bit. I gave her one of JoAnn's looks.
"We can't just do nothing." JoAnn's arms were hugging her chest again, eyebrows in their usual position.
"We don't have to go anywhere… yet." I smiled. "We just need to sign on to their Web site. Jeni can explain everything in an email.
JoAnn pushed, Sure, easy for you to say, Susan. We just email them and we wait, again. Right? I'm tired of waiting. I say we make a flight for tomorrow night and get this whole thing straightened out. I am so tired of you holding the ropes.
"Talk out loud!" Everyone yelled, except Jeni.
Jeni tapped the keys on the computer, smiling at us. "The Web site is very impressive. Everything is coded. We can even order blood from here. They call it bags of fertilizer."
"What? Well, I wish we would have seen that before we all turned ourselves into shit sucking immortals." Mom rubbed her stomach.
~~~~
Dorius stepped into the boardroom at BAMVC, Miami with a big smile and strutted up to the table. "They ordered blood and refused to make an appointment. I think it's time we paid the ladies a visit."
"They've made no further contact, Dorius?" Marcus asked.
"No," Dorius answered.
"I told you they're rogues. But nooo, none of you would believe me. I say we burn their friggin' house down with them in it," Christopher suggested from the corner of the room. Buster, sitting beside him, growled his approval. Christopher looked a bit out of place, dressed in a black business suit, black dress shirt open at the collar, a thick gold chain around his neck, and a pair of Keds with a picture of SpongeBob on the toes.
"Nobody is burning anyone, Christopher," Marcus said in a soft, condescending voice as he took a sip of blood from a wineglass, his pinky ring flashing on his extended finger.
"I have some footage of the women on their property. I believe it will make all of you aware what we are dealing with." Dorius lowered the lights to a soft glow as he hit a remote. A large screen fell from the ceiling behind him. He stepped aside and turned to the twelve immortals watching his every move. "Paul was nice enough to film the women for me. They seem to be… well…" He sent his smile around the table. "…let me just show you." He clicked the remote again and the screen came to life.
The scene Dorius chose to display was Jeni reading the rules to the five immortals. When the thread finished Dorius turned to the group. "As you can see, they did make each other, stole blood from a hospital, and more importantly, at least one of them has killed a human and is still drinking from mortals."
Christopher strolled over with Buster at his heels as he flipped on the overhead lights. He opened a wrapper, shoved a big pink blob in his mouth, and started chewing. "So, like I said, a few cans of gasoline and a Bic lighter, and burn baby, burn, disco inferno. What'cha say?"
"The rules clearly state that they have the right to a hearing," Marcus interrupted. "We will leave immediately. When we return with the Stech women we will set up a hearing and do this by the book."
"Buster and
I are coming with," Christopher announced. He blew a big pink bubble, sucking it loudly back into his mouth.
"I think not, Christopher," Dorius growled.
~~~~
Chapter Nineteen
~~~~
Christopher clapped, concentrating on the burgundy shaded chrome fixture in front of him. The lamp came on. "Wow, man that is so far out."
He turned to Dorius with a smile. "You need to take care of this, Dude. I mean, those fuckers really wiped out your bitch. That's hated, man. If you don't want the family to find out you - you know, let a possible mate slip through your, well, blood-tainted hands and all - just because you had to play-"
"Enough! I understand the ramifications completely, Christopher. I certainly do not need you to explain them to me." Dorius rubbed the back of his neck, bending his head from side to side, staring at his cell phone on the coffee table in front of the sofa.
"Just sayin, man. I mean, it doesn't take, like, brain science to figure out when she sunk her teeth in Angel, she got the message. Ya know what I mean, dude? I'm sure she saw it in Technicolor, dickwad. She has this mate thing planted somewhere in her friggin' brain, man."
Christopher rolled his tongue against the top of his mouth, coating it with Bazooka bubble gum. He filled the pink mass with a hissing breath, letting it burst around his face. The lamp went out. "That is just sooo cool!" he mumbled through the gum plastered from the bottom of his eyes to the underside of his chin.
"Do you look for things to aggravate me, you little shit? What's with the gum and the God-awful language? And where's Buster?" Dorius walked up to Christopher and plucked the gum from his face. He tossed it into a piece of ceramic pottery by the couch.
"I'm trying to quit smoking. Deal with it, man. I'm bitchy. Buster's at Puff-n-Fluff getting his weekly bath. He should be home soon. I sent Dennis to fetch him an hour ago, dude." He wiped his face and reached into the pocket of his Hawaiian print shirt for another piece of gum. He unwrapped it, tossed it in his mouth and began chewing with loud sucking noises. His little sandal-clad feet gave Dorius a view of spider-man tangled in a bright red web across all ten toes.
"Christopher, you do not surf. You've never surfed, and I don't even think you've been in the same room with a surfboard. So can you please tell me why you have adapted the persona of a wave-catcher high on marijuana?"
"Just trying to find, like… my niche, man." Christopher blew another large bubble, sucking it into his mouth with a loud pop. The light came back on as he jumped off the couch and walked toward the door. "Later dude." He wiggled his fingers over his shoulder as he opened the door.
Dorius watched the small immortal strut out the door. Growling, he picked up the cell and punched in the wolf's number, then set the phone back on the coffee table.
"Yes Dorius, what can I do for you?" Paul answered.
"Are the women still at home?" Dorius pulled the cuff up on his cranberry silk shirt, looking at his Rolex.
"I assume so. I'm waiting for the fairy to show up with the latest information."
"I'll be leaving with Marcus in a couple of hours. We should get there before dark. We intend to bring them back here to address the council. Make sure they stay on the property."
"Can do. What's with Marcus tagging along? This more than a bag and drag?"
"I have no clue," Dorius said. "He insisted on joining me and he only wants Camillio and Warren to accompany us. I'd like you to stick around in case we need you. Is there anything I should know about as far as their skills?"
"JoAnn, the blonde, is useless. She's afraid of the wildlife on the property," Paul answered. "The black one's a bitch. I'd keep my eye on her. Chick seems preoccupied with sex. Susan, the curly-haired redhead, might give another immortal a run for their money, but she'll be no match for any of you. Resi, the one with straight, chestnut colored hair, and the black immortal seem to be mated. You may have trouble mind-pushing them if they know what they're doing."
"I'll brief the others," Dorius growled.
"I find it interesting that Marcus left Italy for five immortal women." Paul's statement had a questionable tone. "Did you show them the footage I sent?"
"Parts of it. Only what they needed to see. They have definitely committed more than enough infractions to warrant us picking them up. Especially since they did not make an appointment."
"They got the package and still didn't call or try to contact you?" Paul asked.
"I don't have time to go into the details with you, wolf. Just be ready this evening in case you're needed."
"Do you want me to call you if the fairy has anything useful?"
"Not unless it's in the next hour. I would rather not carry on a conversation with the other immortals in the car. You can text me if it's something of major importance."
"I'll stay close to the house. Just whistle if you need me." There was amusement in Paul's voice as he cut the connection.
"Exxxcellent."
~~~~
Gibbie flew out of the exhaust fan on the roof at the back of the house. JoAnn kept locking windows and he had resorted to making his way in and out through the ventilation system in the attic. As he flew by the dock, the troll immerged, swimming in the water toward the cypress trees.
"Fairy,…yo…step over here… for a second…will ya."
Gibbie landed on a nearby branch, looking down at Mort. "What do you want, troll?" he squeaked, fluttering his wings, letting red sparkles rain down on the troll.
Mort slowly submerged, sending the red dust floating away from him in the water. He lumbered closer, blowing air in the water through his nose. "Did you know… Warren, Marcus, Camillio… and Dorius… will be here today?"
"Why?" Gibbie was airborne, glitter flying everywhere in a multitude of shiny colors as he flitted back and forth in front of Mort's face. The water around the troll looked like a rainbowed oil slick.
"I think… they may be picking… up the girls. That black one… sure is a bitch. You seen her… act all mighty… and sassy? She must… think she's… one of us." His voice was deep and excruciatingly slow.
"She is one of us," Gibbie announced with a flourish of red sparkles.
"You know… what I mean."
"No, I'm sure I don't. Is that all the news you have?" Gibbie asked in a high-pitched screech.
"Umm…yeah…well…let me think a minute." The troll rubbed his face, and turned up to Gibbie with red droplets dripping off his gray chin. His big black eyes blinked several times. "Oh… I remember… it's the mortal one," he said in a deep rumbling voice, sounding like an old forty-five record played on low speed. "The one… that lives here… but isn't one of us. She… packed the boat… today. There's enough… weaponry on board… to kill an army. Looks… like they may… be getting ready… to take a hike… if ya know what I mean."
The troll sank in the water, showing only his eyes as he waited for the fairy's reaction.
"I better get going. I need to report this to the wolf. I guess I should say thanks." Gibbie dusted the troll's head with a flurry of wings, taking off in the direction of the woods, his sword shining in the sunlight.
"Yeah… and you're… welcome… bug." The troll submerged and a small wave of water followed him to the underside of the dock.
~~~~
The wolf lapped at the shoreline and then playfully rolled in the water at the edge of the lake, his paws kicking at the air above him.
Gibbie flew out of a cropping of trees and landed on a cypress knee. "You look like gator bait."
Paul got up, shook from head to tail and trotted off toward the trees.
A few minutes later, he waked out of the woods, long black hair sending little rivulets of water down his human body. "I can handle a gator Gibbie, been a Florida-boy for way too many years. You got anything for me?"
Gibbie talked as he preened his wings. "Yeah, JoAnn continually pisses me off. Always cutting flowers, pulling weeds, and yesterday she was packing a blowtorch. The trigger kept getting caught o
n the rose bush, sending noxious fumes in my home. It took all day to air out."
"Fairy, if you blow your cover, I'll personally tan your winged ass." Paul sat bare-assed in the grass.
"Look at me wolf. Do I look like I'm shaking?"
"Do you have anything I can actually use?" Paul laid back, popped a long blade of grass in his mouth and tucked his arms under his head.
"The women have just been doing the same old shit, mostly arguing, but the troll stopped me on the way. He said Jeni, the mortal, loaded the boat with guns. He thinks they might run."
"Shit, just what I need." Paul shot up, spit the grass out of his mouth, scooped up his clothes and headed for the house. "I'll watch the back from the woods. You keep an eye on the lake. I want you on that boat if they make a run for it."
"The troll also said that Dorius and Marcus are on the way with Warren and Camillio. You know anything about that?" Gibbie was animated, buzzing around Paul's head.
"Yes, evidently the footage I sent has the council members concerned. Dorius was tight-lipped about Marcus. It makes me nervous. I don't want any bloodshed. I'm growing fond of these women." Paul looked off in the direction of the house, a frown on his face as he trotted along.
"Are you going to tell Dorius about the guns?"
"Not yet. I don't think they'll use them. Let's just see how this plays out."
Gibbie buzzed off in the direction of the boat dock. "Yeah-right. Good luck with that, Cujo." The air filled with a chaotic high-pitched laughter that slowly faded.
~~~~
Dorius, flanked by Marcus and Camillio, on the way to meet Warren, strolled through the entrance hall of BAMVC Miami, headed for the limo idling in the parking lot.
Christopher walked in through the big glass doors, dwarfed by a huge purple surfboard hanging under his arm, tethered to his right leg with a long piece of leather and an ankle strap of Velcro.
