They're So Vein (The Grateful Undead series)

by Susan Stec

  "First of all, there has been no binding. We need to drink from each other while we mate, like mortals trying to produce a child," he said with a shy grin, as if he was talking with an inexperienced child about the birds and the bees.

  I wanted none of it. I was pissed. "So—what—we just start all over again like none of this ever happened?"

  "I don't think that's possible. Do you, my love?"

  "No," I said, pouting. I even batted my eyelashes. I'm an idiot!

  He smiled at me and drew me close to him in an embrace that had my frigging traitor of a body burning with desire for him again, and I sure as hell didn't want that. I eased away from him and held his chest firmly at a distance.

  "I don't think we need to be this close just yet, either," I said, feeling that oh so special place zinging into action again.

  "You want me, sweetheart. I can feel it. And I want you as much."

  "Okay, down boy. Just back up and take your hands out of my hair. Let's just go to sleep. In separate beds. We can talk about this tomorrow on the four-hour drive to Miami. His face dropped and I felt just a bit guilty. That damn gene all Italian women seem to be born with was pulling me in his direction. I had no idea why I felt like this was all my fault, but damn it, I did.

  "I have a few questions I want to ask you, later, on the drive, and you can tell me why you have chosen me to attach your teeth to," I said, trying not to answer the damn tingling sensation in my unfaithful crotch.

  He let out a long sigh, eyed my king size bed, and one corner of his mouth lifted in a spine-shattering smile that made me want to kiss the other side up.

  "The couch is not comfortable. I am much too big for it, Susan."

  "There you go, bragging again." I smiled in spite of myself.

  "If I sleep on top of the covers, can I stay here by your side?"

  I was thinking that would last for about five minutes before he was all over me and I would be unable to stop it since my traitor of a body seemed to be doing whatever the hell it wanted to.

  "I will not touch you again unless you ask. I promise my beloved." He chuckled because the damn man knew what I was thinking.

  My teeth slammed together and I sucked in a breath, trying not to think of all the erotic possibilities. Well hell, I don't want him walking downstairs alerting everyone that he'd been up here with me, I told myself, trying to justify the wrong decision I was about to make.

  "Okay, so let's discuss the matter of my asking for it. I didn't ask the first time. I was dreaming. There is a difference, okay? So, no touching unless I take my two hands and place them on either side of your face, look into your eyes, and ask for it. Got it?"

  "I do. And I thank you," he said, making himself comfortable.

  "Fine. Just stay on top of the covers." Oh God, this is so very wrong.

  I slid back under my quilt, pulling it to my neck and closed my eyes tight. Thoughts of my mother undulating between Max's knees flashed across the back of my lids like a bad movie. That did it. The zinging in my nether parts did an abrupt halt, like a car smashing into a brick wall.

  I heard Marcus chuckle as he rolled over. "Well, at least you are accompanying me on the trip to Miami. I will make sure we are alone."

  "Did I say I was driving alone with you tomorrow?" I moved further away from him and prayed for dreams of hunting, fishing, disembowelment…anything but my handsome dream immortal.

  "No. I did." He chuckled again. "Sleep well, my love."

  ~~~~

  Chapter Twenty-nine

  ~~~~

  I walked into the kitchen and headed straight for the coffee pot, ignoring everyone sitting around the breakfast bar. My mother, however, was clearly going to start some shit before I could get there.

  "She never wears a dress unless someone just died or she's entertaining a man. Who died?" Mom asked me.

  Marcus laughed from the dining room.

  I ignored him and turned to Mom. The hair on the back of my neck prickled. She glared at me, one long eyebrow doing a slow roll across her creased forehead. "Don't start, Mom. It's too damn early. Where's JoAnn?"

  "JoAnn's still in her room," Resi pulled six bags of blood out of the refrigerator. As she passed them around the room, her head bounced in Marcus' direction. "And don't change the subject, Mother. You have good sex written all over your face. You slept with him didn't you?"

  Marcus cleared his throat. I shot him a warning glance.

  "Oh hell, you did, didn't you?" Zaire laughed. "Go Mom!"

  I sucked in a lot of noisy air through my teeth, really working the spoon in my coffee cup.

  Jeni raised an eyebrow in my direction. "Resi, let's not be obnoxious. I'm sure Mommy Dearest didn't copulate with anyone last night. So who died, Susabella?"

  I took a big gulp of caffeine.

  "Come on. Give it up," Zaire slid down the counter toward Jeni, waggling her eyebrows at me.

  "Do all of you usually discuss your personal lives and who you do, or do not fornicate with, so openly?" Marcus asked from the picnic table in the dining room, his eyes twinkling.

  "We have no personal lives. It's like living in a bee hive with six queens." Mom took a sip of her coffee. Resi handed her a bag of blood. She grimaced and pulled it toward her.

  They do not know anything about last night. Marcus pushed at me. Although, you probably should have covered the two red marks on your neck with a little more of that foundation you have on.

  I jerked my head in his direction and my hand flew to my throat.

  Marcus laughed out loud; one of his sexy thick eyebrows looked like a cat ready to pounce.

  I felt the need to be a bitch. Just a little bit.

  "I am not, nor will I be any time in the near future, having sexual relations with anyone!" I spat, giving my disgusting underwear a tug. I may have a dress on, but underneath, I donned a pair of my old white granny undies, just in case. No one was going to see those babies.

  "What've'ya got under the dress, Susabella?" Mom queried.

  "Alright, everyone cut the crap. I didn't have sex with Marcus," I said.

  "Dorius?" Mom asked. "Cuz, you're glowing like the morning after."

  I heard Marcus growl in my head.

  "Fess up, Marcus - she's lying, isn't she?" Resi said.

  My lips went back in a snarl and I strutted to the sink, turning away from all of them. I peered out the window as Gibbie flitted out of his rock and hovered by the cypress trees for a few seconds before heading toward the hole in the screen door.

  "God help me, I can't take another man in your life, Susan," Mom spat. "You turn into a sfatto, eat way too much chocolate and start throwing our good china around the-" Mom stopped abruptly as Gibbie came flying in with a flutter of wings. He landed next to Zaire and started making weird noises that sounded like the theme song from 'Boston Legal'.

  Zaire sucked in a big breath and blew hard, sending his tiny body somersaulting away.

  "Can you say mouthwash?" Gibbie landed on the edge of Jeni's coffee mug, dipped what looked like a half-thimble with a handle on it into the coffee, pulled it to his lips, sipped, and then asked, "What did I miss? I hate missing anything."

  Paul walked onto the screen porch and through the sliding door. "What are we fighting about tonight?"

  "We're not fighting about anything, Mr. Forrest. It seems they were trying to find out if Susan and I had sex last night. Much to my chagrin, we did not."

  Paul looked shocked.

  "She ain't wearing that dress for nothing'," Mom commented.

  The front door opened and Dorius yelled, "What the hell do you mean he had a mortal with him, Dennis?"

  All eyes turned to the front of the house.

  "The mortal was out cold in a life raft attached to a surfboard. He was evidently using him as fodder." Dennis' voice wafted from the phone.

  "Where is he?" Dorius hissed.

  I leaned across the counter and peeked down the hall. Dorius was pacing in front of the front door with hi
s cell phone in one hand and his other hand raking through his hair.

  "He's right here in my office, listening to you. He just finished kissing me on both cheeks," Dennis' said.

  "He should be kissing your ass! Don't let him out of your sight."

  I heard the phone slap shut and Dorius strutted into the dining room with Warren, Camillio, and a bad attitude. His eyes found my neck and then drifted up to join mine. He sniffed the air and smiled at me. "Sleep well?"

  "Yes, I did, thank you," I said with as sweet a smile as I could muster. I didn't like the way he was looking at me.

  "What's that on your neck? Cut yourself shaving?" Dorius asked. He didn't give me time to answer before locking eyes with Marcus. "Having trouble keeping your nose out of her undies?"

  Marcus jumped up, snarling at his brother. "That's enough, Dorius!"

  An excited squeal erupted from Resi's mouth, turning both men in her direction. "You bit her! Oh, hell yes! I knew-"

  "He did not." I lied, staring at Dorius' smug face.

  Mom groaned. Jeni started laughing. Zaire snorted and Gibbie and Paul both had their mouths open in a pre-statement gesture.

  "Let me see your neck. Move your hand." Resi walked closer, evidently not ready to give it up.

  I moved away. "No!" I yelled, thinking my choice of clothing wasn't as smart as I'd thought.

  Dorius examined me with hooded eyes. "It seems my brother has found a distraction." He looked at Marcus with a scheming expression. "I smell your mark on her. I suggest you back off Marcus, before you are unable to preside on the council as mediator."

  "He can't back off any more than she can." Resi jumped up and down. "They're Blood-Mates."

  Dorius strutted in my direction. "A mate? Is this true Marcus? Is this woman a suitable mate? I thought you were just…"

  Dorius was not reacting the way I thought he would. He looked way too cunningly excited.

  "She's screwed," Zaire remarked. "He's had her in a mind-lock since he met her."

  Resi grinned at her.

  "Yes, she's a possible mate, Dorius." Marcus' chest puffed out noticeably. "And we both know what that means."

  Okay, I needed to put a stop to this. God, I hated being treated like a piece of prime beef. "Hold it. Just hold it. How many times do I have to say that I am NOT interested?"

  "Yeah, right," Mom said. "She's acting like a stracciamanici, anybody else believe her?"

  Dorius burst into laughter, shaking his head. "Marcus, Marcus, Marcus, fifteen hundred years and look at the first thing you pull out of the gutter."

  Dorius turned to me. "It's just a matter of time, Susan. Your mother hit the nail on the head. You are sexually insatiable. A true Blood-Mate cannot resist. And the strength you could bring to our clan is a moot point if you are convicted of infringements."

  He turned back to Marcus. "I'd say this certainly disqualifies you from mediating anything I or the council decides on this case."

  Marcus smiled. "I will not stand down unless voted to do so, Dorius. Until then, Susan will remain in my custody. Shall we all head for Miami?"

  Custody? I sure as hell didn't like the sound of that.

  "Who's in who's custody?" JoAnn asked as she walked into the kitchen with bags draped all over her body. She had a backpack on each shoulder, a duffle bag in one hand, and was pulling a suitcase with the other.

  I let out an exasperated sigh, drawing a smile from Resi.

  Mom grunted, shaking her head at my sister. "JoAnn, what in the name of hell do you have in those? We're just taking a short trip, for Christ sake. I'm not carrying any of those, so don't ask."

  "Just the necessities and you don't have to be so nasty," she said, giving Mom a dirty look, and then turned to Dorius, dropping all her bags. "Don't worry about me." She made two fists out of her hands and shoved them in Dorius' direction. "I won't put up a fight. I hate all this blood and guts stuff. Cuff me up."

  Once again, JoAnn was not on the same page as the rest of us.

  "Let's all move in the direction of Miami. The council waits." Dorius waved his hand at the door, a smile on his face. "JoAnn, there is no need for handcuffs." Paul picked up Jeni's small duffle bag and they headed for the front door.

  Marcus changed the subject as we all left the house. "I take it they've found the boy?"

  "Yes, he's being held for tonight's meeting," Dorius answered, clearly not happy with the question.

  ~~~~

  Chapter Thirty

  ~~~~

  "Five more miles till we hit I-75. Anyone need anything before we hop on?" a faceless voice floated through the speakers from the black Suburban in front of us. I knew this because every time someone spoke, a number flashed in red on the monitor mounted on the dash, marking their place in the line of vehicles.

  "We will wait until the first rest area. It's usually quiet this time of night," Dorius ordered from number three SUV, behind us. Resi, Zaire, and another immortal were all aboard that equally large gas-guzzler.

  "I have to pee," JoAnn informed us from number four. Camillio and another Rogue Hunter were the unfortunate lost souls accompanying Mom and JoAnn for the next three and a half hours.

  "She can wait. I got an empty coffee cup here if she gets desperate," Mom shouted and everybody heard JoAnn slap her.

  "We're good back here," Paul announced from number five with a bit of amusement in his voice. I heard Jeni and Gibbie in the background singing. It sounded like, "Ebony and Ivory" but I wasn't sure. They were in Paul's Corvette, the only car that looked out of place and the only one that wasn't black.

  The immortals in the last Suburban made no comments so we all headed for the on ramp.

  We looked like the 'Dark Shadows' cast and crew on a road trip as we all came to a stop before the tollbooth entrance. The driver of the first car pointed back at the five cars behind him. They had a heated conversation for a few seconds and then the tollbooth guy, looking an awful lot like Jack Nicholson, stepped out like a puppet on a string and waved us on.

  We all began to roll forward, windows up, moving at a safe funeral procession speed of ten miles per hour.

  Camillio's frustrated voice floated out of the monitor from car four, over muffled yells and the loud rapping of hands on bulletproof glass. "How far to that rest area, Dorius? I had to put the glass window up behind the seat. JoAnn is putting up quite a fuss."

  "Damn, Mom, this system is F'n'-A!" Zaire announced from car three. "I think we need to get one of these babies in the Jeep."

  "I would like to discuss the importance of finding a Blood-Mate, Susan." Marcus smiled at me, clearly trying to ignore the chattering monitor.

  "Mom, you okay up there?" Resi asked. "We haven't heard a word from you?"

  I reached up and pressed a red switch. "Can you guys keep all of the women away from the little red switches on the monitors, please?" I asked, smiling back at Marcus.

  "There's one on each seat Ma'am. Sorry," someone said.

  "Great, and now he just gave-" I started.

  "Hey, this is cool," Mom said. "Look JoAnn, a button to talk on the car thingy, right under the arm of your chair."

  "I have-"

  "You have to hold it down, dummy. Like this. See," Mom said.

  "-to pee."

  "Can you hear me out there? JoAnn is a pain in my ass," Mom yelled from the dash. "Stop at the next pee hole before I have to knock her out!"

  "Put that thing-"

  "Take your hand off the button and use this-"

  "-down. I am not peeing-"

  "I'm gonna slap you. Let the button go."

  "-in a coffee cup. There's still coffee in it."

  The swift erratic sounds of slapping hands bounced around my head.

  "Can we shut that off?" I meekly asked Marcus.

  Marcus chuckled. "I'm afraid not. Dorius is quite unhappy with the seating arrangements as it is. I really don't think we should press our luck."

  "Big wheels, keep on turnin'-"

  I slamme
d the red switch on. "Mother, this is not a karaoke bar! Get your hand off the red switch!"

  "I need to pee!" JoAnn yelled.

  Camillio said, "Where's the damn rest stop?"

  "-proud vampires keep on burnin'-"

  "Nan, I just love you," Jeni laughed.

  During one of the entertainment lulls, Marcus decided to begin his queries again. "Do you understand what a Blood-Mate is, Susan?"

  "I suppose you're going to tell me whether I want you to or not, so have at it."

  "First of all, there's the attraction. Do you feel an attraction for me? An uncontrollable attraction?"

  "Yes, but that's because it's been four years since I've had good sex. So don't go flattering yourself."

  "Ummm… four years. It's been twelve-hundred years for me. The most important thing is-"

  "Christ, one-thousand and two-hundred years? Are you freaking kidding me? Hell, are you sure it still works?" I suddenly felt the need to do something, anything for this poor man, immortal, whatever.

  "We'll be taking the next exit into the rest stop up ahead," Dorius announced.

  "It's about time!" JoAnn yelled.

  "It's about time," Camillio grumbled.

  "You're family knows they don't have to eat or drink like a human, right?" Marcus asked as the first car pulled up in front of the restrooms and the rest of us filled in spaces alongside.

  I rolled my eyes. He smiled.

  There were only two other cars in the rest area and one was pulling out. I opened the door.

  "Need any help?" he asked, watching two immortals take places outside the women's restroom.

  "I think I can handle it." I walked away, my granny undies just begging to be tossed in the trash.

  Twenty minutes later we were on our way again, the speaker on the monitor blessedly quiet. I kicked off my sandals and pulled my feet up under me in the seat. I seductively adjusted my dress well above my knees, put the seat back, closed my eyes and turned my head to the window with a big smile on my face.

  "I would really like to take a more active part in your orgasms, darling," Marcus said.