They're So Vein (The Grateful Undead series)

by Susan Stec

  "Time to go!" I shouted at my mother.

  "Can you just give her another fifteen minutes?" Harold asked. "She's selling more drinks than we've sold all week. Christ, look at them. They love her."

  I stared into Harold's eyes, pushed a few thoughts around in his mind, suggesting it was time to give the bull a rest. He shook his head, looked confused, reached for the switch, and immediately the crowd booed when the bull came to a halt.

  A cute redhead turned an angry set of green eyes at Harold. "Come on! She was just getting started."

  "She hasn't even worked up a good sweat," another woman shouted.

  Mom jumped off the bull, her short skirt showing a lot of thigh and way too much thong. She waved her arm, bowed to her audience and grimaced at me, butt swaying as she strutted over.

  A short woman in tight jeans and a white wife beater laid her hand over Mom's breast, and planted a big sloppy kiss on her cheek.

  Mom jumped back, lips curling—no fangs thank God. "Read my perfectly glossed lips. Do that again and I'm gonna bite'cha." She bounced toward me, eyes flashing, brows smashed together. "This better be good, Susan. I almost broke the record."

  I yanked Mom's tube top from the buff woman's teeth and slapped it between my mother's breasts. "Dorius sent me. We have another mission."

  Buff handed my mother a frosted mug of beer. "I'd love to buy you dinner, sweet cheeks."

  Mom chugged half the beer and hand-swiped her mouth. "I'm a cheap date," Mom said, eyeing the woman's neck.

  I grabbed her by the arm and pushed her toward the doors. My day was turning out to be a real pain and it had just started.

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  From the author

  I've always been weird, even as a child. Might've been influenced by all those fairies and trolls living in and around the streams behind Grandma's house and the cave on the other side of the lake. Today it probably has something to do with five crazy vamp-women, the fanged tyke, fairy, troll, werewolf, demon, and several sexy immortals living in my head.

  In reality I live with my husband and my three King Charles Spaniels on 50 acres of woods, fields, and streams in upper Michigan; hunt deer with my Ruger or crossbow, paint watercolors, sculpture stained glass, and chase butterflies with my dogs.

  One's real life is so often the life that one does not lead~~Oscar Wilde~~~

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