“Sure babe, what is it?”
“Finals aren’t too far off once break is over for us, so I’m only coming home for a few days. I’m gonna stay here to study. But when I come home, promise me I’ll get you all to myself one of the days. I wanna see everybody, but I really just want to spend time with you. Is that okay?”
“It’s more than okay. It’ll be just you, me…and my bikini.”
Chapter Twenty Nine
“Good morning Mother,” I shout over the voice of Ryan Seacrest whispering sweet nothings to my mom. Okay, so he’s not really talking to her but by the look on her face you would think he was speaking directly to her through the radio. I always thought this crazy fascination with the overpaid host-gig king would lose its thrill. Nope. Mom still hangs on his every word like it’s the last one she’s going to hear.
She doesn’t respond, so I ask her, “So what’s on Seacrest’s mind today?”
“Oh, honey, good morning. He’s giving this woman some advice about her cheating husband. He’s so good, he has the answer to everything,” she says.
I take a string cheese and water out of the fridge. “Really? Since when did he become a woman, or married, or a cheating husband? How is he the expert? And what is he? Like thirty? Why don’t you listen to Dr. Laura or something like all the other women your age? Or how about Dr. Drew?”
“Bite your tongue, missy,” she barks at me. “You’re starting to sound like your dad.”
“So Dad still thinks you’re gonna cheat on him with the blondie, huh?”
“Your dad’s crazy.”
“Sounds like someone else I know.”
“Shouldn’t you be off to school now?”
“Yeah, I’m leaving right now. I’m gonna stay the night at Steph’s. We’re gonna go to a party and then kick it there.”
Mom raises a brow at me. “Is her mom okay with this?”
I smile at her. “Of course.”
“Isn’t Alex coming home tonight?” she asks, turning down the commercials on the radio.
“Yes he is,” I screech. There’s no hiding my excitement.
“And, is he going too?”
“Sure he is. Why wouldn’t he?”
“Well, doesn’t he feel a little awkward going to parties with a bunch of high school kids? He’s almost in his second year of college already. He’s starting to get a little too old for...” At the sound of Seacrest’s voice, Mom loses her thought and turns up the radio.
Thank you, Ryan Seacrest. I’m not about to have this conversation with my mom right now, just hours before Alex gets here. I grab my bag and I’m out without her even noticing.
“It’s party time,” Keesh hollers as we make our way around the corner. Tonight’s festivities are just up the street from Steph’s house so here we are, skipping along, quite literally.
By the time we reach the party, I’m already out of breath. I feel like I’ve been dancing for half the night already. Whose idea was it to skip like a bunch of six year olds? Oh yeah, it was mine. The excitement I’m feeling about seeing Alex makes me do some strange things.
“Dang, it’s packed already,” Steph cautions. “I wonder if there’ll be any room for all of us.”
“We’ll make room,” Keesh says.
“I feel kinda weird.” Steph is always worried about something.
But this time I agree with her, my Alex-high coming down. “I was just thinking the same thing.”
“Come on, chicas, it’s not like we’ve never been to a party without the guys.” Keesh rolls her eyes and plants her hands on her hips scolding us.
“Uh, not since last year. And I mean, the beginning of last year. We always go to parties with the boys,” Steph says.
“Well, we might not be showing up with them, but I’m not gonna be alone for long,” Keesh declares.
“Whoa,” I cry. “What happened to Jon?” Sure he’s a couple thousand miles away, but I didn’t really think it was over, over.
“We had a little chat last night and let’s just say we’re both free to see other people,” she explains.
“Whose idea was that?” Stephs asks.
“Does it matter?” Keesh turns her back on us, pushing her way into the party.
This should definitely be interesting. Keesh is on the prowl. The guys aren’t here yet to save her, and I know there isn’t anything Steph or I can say to her to make her change her mind. I feel sorry for the poor sap who falls for her insincere show of interest tonight. She’s just going to blow off the dude tomorrow.
It feels good to hit a party. We’ve been couch potatoes at my house lately. The music is pulsing through my veins, and it feels so natural that unconsciously my head starts to bob and my hips begin to sway. It’s time to dance.
“Let’s go bust a move, girls,” I shout to them over the music.
“Already,” Steph looks at me like I’ve just asked her to rob a bank.
“Yeah. Already,” I tell her.
Keesh stops a guy walking by with a tray full of shots.
“Wait, Jello shots first.” She snags three tiny plastic cups and hands one to each of us. “Slurp it baby.”
I use my tongue to loosen around the edges of the Jello, then suck the whole thing out in one big gulp.
“Dang, girl, you sure know how to suck.” Keesh kids with me. “You gotta show me how to do that.”
“Yeah, can you show me too?” Of course, Travis shows up right when she says that.
“You wish,” I yell at him, smacking him in the arm.
“Are you sure? You can use me to demonstrate.” He looks down, swiping his hand across the front of his jeans.
“Travis,” Steph scolds.
“All right, knock it off. Dance with us,” Keesh says, pulling Josh out to dance.
“Shall we?” Travis asks.
Steph and I look at each other and shrug. Why not. One minute we’re complaining about coming to the party alone, and the next the guys show up unexpectedly. So much for independence. Although, it feels good to have them here.
The five of us are dancing like it’s nobody’s business. One song passes, then another and another, before I lose track of time. Sweat trickles down my back, and I pull my hair into a loose pony to get my damp hair off my neck for a little air. Steph and I play around and shake it till we’re all the way down on the floor and then shimmy our way back up. It’s then that I feel hands wrap around me from behind.
I don’t need to turn around. I know exactly who it is. The clean scent of soap and fresh hair gel, and minty gum wafts into my nose sending tingles through my body. I put my hands on his, sinking into him as he squeezes me tight.
Ah, I sigh. My man is home.
Steph practically tackles Dominic at the sight of him, covering him with hugs and kisses. I allow myself to enjoy this quiet embrace for a few seconds longer before I turn myself around to see Alex’s dreamy eyes. It’s like they’re saying I’m here, come get me. If I could, I’d strip him down and kiss every part of his body from the longest strand of hair on his head all the way down to his pinky toe. God, I missed him so much.
“Hey, babe, good to see ya,” Alex says, eyes still gazing into mine.
Even with the blaring music in the background, it’s like static. It’s like no one else exists. All I can hear, feel, smell, is him.
My hands slide up the front of his chest and cup the back of his neck, and he lowers his head to kiss me. It’s like no time has passed, our mouths fit together perfectly. His soft full lips gently cover mine, and our tongues dance. The mint flavor of his mouth cools the heat that penetrates the rest of my body. This is my idea of a party.
“Let’s do another shot,” Keesh yells, interrupting my perfect reunion with Alex. She shoves a little gelatin cup in my face. I take it from her and wait for everyone to be ready. “I’d like to make a toast.” She pauses and takes a quick glance at all of us. We hold up our shots. “To friendship. To our crew. To Alex being home so now we’re all here tonight. No
w, let’s party.”
Each of us slurps up the shot, without acknowledging her deliberate dig on Jon. I know what she’s doing, even if nobody else does. Maybe it’s her way of coping with him being gone. Maybe she feels like she can’t wait around for him to graduate, and maybe come out here for college. I guess it’s time for her to move on.
And moving on she is. But I just wish she wasn’t…with Josh.
Sure, they’re only dancing, but not like how friends dance together. Keesh’s ass is fitting snugly into Josh’s lap. His hands are on her hips, moving her from side to side, from front to back. He may as well bend her over and do her right here in front of everyone. They’re pretty much dry humping and they don’t care who’s watching.
“Relax, Meg, don’t trip. They’re just having fun,” Alex tells me.
“What are you talking about?” I try to play dumb.
“I know what you’re looking at. Maybe they’ll be good for each other. They’re both lonely with Jon gone.”
“Oh really. So should I hook up with Travis or something when I’m lonely? Who are you hooking up with?”
“Are you serious? That’s not even the same thing. We’re together. We have a relationship. Keesh and Josh are single.” He looks at me with that wrinkle between his eyes, showing me he’s irritated by my reaction.
“Well, whatever. They’re like a million other guys here. She doesn’t have to pick Jon’s best friend. And he shouldn’t be rubbing up on his best friend’s ex-girl,” I yell.
“Amen to that,” Steph says. I guess our little conversation hasn’t been just between us.
“You know we can here you,” Josh says, backing away from Keesh.
“Good,” I tell them, giving them a stink eye.
But that doesn’t seem to work. A few songs and a lot more shots later, not only are they still dancing, but now Keesh and Josh are kissing.
Yup. Interesting night.
“It’s nice to have you all to myself,” Alex says, between quick pecks on my neck. Oh, my weak spot. Alex can get me to do anything if he keeps nipping at my neck like this.
“Yes, it is,” I tell him, my hands wrapped up in his smooth hair. I used to think I loved his shaved head, but now that his hair is grown out, I can’t help but put my fingers through it. I tug gently as his pecks turn into more. The feel of his tongue on my neck is like dropping water in hot oil. I can sense the sizzle. My body is hot and his mouth is cool, but it doesn’t cool me down. Not one bit. I pull on his locks, and he gazes up at me. I lean in to kiss him and his lips part as my tongue enters his mouth. Ah, there’s that coolness again. But I’m too hot.
Alex leans me back until he’s on top of me on his bed.
After waking up, taking a shower, and getting ready at Steph’s this morning, I knew today was going to be a big day for us. Alex picked me up. He said his parents were gone for the day, so we decided to hang out here, at his house, in his room. But I didn’t think I’d be laying here, with my legs spread eagle, and Alex lying on top of me going back in forth between kissing me on the lips to kissing my neck and my chest. Sure, we’re fully clothed, but that doesn’t stop me from feeling the heat down there…because I can feel him down there too, if you know what I mean.
He’s driving me mad as the smooches on my neck turn more intense. The feel of his luscious mouth sucking, and the gentle nibbles of his teeth are making my body shiver with desire. I can’t get enough of him. Taking my fingers out of his hair, I slide my hands down his sides to his lower back. Lifting up his shirt, I reach for his bare back and caress his warm moist skin. I hear a subtle moan escape him. He refocuses on my lips. His tongue and his lips are heavier and his kisses are deeper. I clench his back in my hands, feeling the throbbing between my legs. He pushes into me. Now, a soft moan escapes me.
Leaving one hand on his back, I take the other and slide it to the front of him, resting it on the swell in his pants. I just leave it there for a moment. But then I remember what he taught me that night in my living room, and I move my hand up and down, gripping him gently. Alex’s hand trails down my side and grasps my ass, pulling me into him even more. He then takes that hand and moves it between my legs cupping my girl parts. Shivers roll through my body from head to toe, as I tighten my grip on him. Another moan comes from Alex, but this one turns into more like a roar.
Alex whirls off me and lays flat on his back on his bed, with his face in his hands.
Omigod. Did I do something wrong? Did I hurt him?
I’m lying here still as a mouse, wondering what to say or do. The words aren’t coming to me. And Alex has a death grip on his face and he’s growling. Omigosh. This is bad.
He relaxes his hands and he’s biting his lip. This isn’t a good sign.
I want to say something. Anything. But I don’t know what.
But then Alex does. “We can’t do this anymore.”
“What? We can’t do this anymore? What does that even mean?” Keesh asks, frantically giving me tissue after tissue.
I can barely speak through the sobs. “That’s what I asked him. Here we are, totally making out and he breaks up with me. What the fuck is that all about?”
“Oh, honey, I’m so sorry,” Steph says, putting an arm around me. She takes a tissue for herself and blows her nose.
“I still don’t get it. What else did he say, Meggie?” It feels like Keesh is cross-examining me.
I take a deep breath and exhale. “Okay. He went on and on about our age difference. He said that he loved me, but it didn’t make it right. He said if I was eighteen and his was twenty-one, things would be different. But right now, we can’t be together.”
“So this is all about age. He’s eighteen and you’re fifteen. But you’ll be sixteen in a couple of weeks,” Keesh argues.
“That’s what I told him. Then he said, but then he’ll be nineteen.”
“And that’s it?” Steph asks, softly.
“Well he said he’s at a point where he wants more from a relationship. Both the physical stuff and the emotional stuff and he knows we can’t get physical. He complained about the distance, and how we never get to see each other. He said he’s staying in Berkeley this summer so it will only get tougher on us. He gave me some lame shit about not wanting to hold me back. He wants me to be a normal high school girl that can go on dates, go to dances with boys, and be able to hold hands during passing period.”
“Aww...that’s sweet,” Steph says, frowning and batting her eyes at me.
“The hell it is,” I yell. “He just broke up with me. There’s nothing sweet about that.”
“And what did you say?” Keesh questions.
I wipe the tears from my eyes, and sit up tall. “Everything he said kinda made sense, so I didn’t say much. I just kinda agreed with him. I told him I understood his feelings. I told him I was sad, but I got it.” I can’t help it, I start to cry again. Tears pour down my face like a rainstorm. “When he brought me home, he walked me to the door. He hugged me really tight. And he told me he loved me. I said I know. And I told him I loved him too. He cried, you know. He said it was hard for him but he knew it was the right thing to do. I just nodded.” I take another tissue from Keesh and try to wipe up all the tears, but it’s useless. “And then he said that just because it’s over for now, it doesn’t have to be over forever.” The sobs are making it hard for me to speak. I barely squeak out what he said next. “And then he said, ‘we’ll always have someday’, just like what we wrote in our yearbooks last year, remember? And then he kissed me one last time, with tears running down both our faces. It was like a fucking movie, it was so good. And that was it. He left.”
Keesh and Steph look at me like they’re in mourning. They both wrap their arms around me, hugging me tightly in the middle of the floor of my room. And I cry, and cry, and cry. And I think they do too.
Chapter Thirty
I’m dragging ass to school today. Dom and Keesh wanted to pick me up but I thought the walk could do me some good. But
now it’s just me and my head, and all the thoughts that are taking over my mind and won’t let me escape the pain. I really think my heart hurts. Like physically, not just emotionally. I think when you’re heartbroken, it must get bruised. And I mean literally, bruised. Because I feel a sickening throbbing in my chest every time I think of Alex. The whole time he was away at school, I never thought I could miss him anymore than I already did. Now, I know that it’s possible. To miss him more.
I’m so miserable. I don’t want to be. But I am. For the last two years, my life has revolved around Alex. Thinking of him, wanting him, imagining what it’d be like to have his arms around me, holding me, kissing me. I got a little taste of what it’s like to be loved by Alex and to love him back. And now, it’s gone.
As I cross the street to campus, my phone buzzes. I hesitate before taking it out of my pocket. I don’t really feel like a pep talk from the girls.
It’s Alex.
My heart races with excitement. Maybe he wants me back. Maybe all of this was just a dream.
“Hello,” I say, as calmly as I can manage.
“Hey, babe,” he says. He called me babe. That’s a good sign. Right? “I was up early so I thought I’d call to say hi.”
Hi. That’s all he wants to say. Hi? You don’t call the girl you just broke up with at seven thirty in the morning just to say hi. What the hell is wrong with him? That’s what I really want to say to him but of course, I don’t. “Oh, hi,” is what I finally squeak out.
“How ya doing?” he asks.
“Fine, you?”
“Okay.”
“Okay,” I say back.
“I miss you,” he tells me.
Uhhhh…he’s killing me.
“You don’t have to,” I tell him.
“This is really hard. You’re my best friend. I just can’t stop talking to you. It’s not fair.”
Double Threat My Bleep (Double Threat Series) Page 18
