The Betrayer

by Kimberley Chambers

  As Kev went up to the bar, Susan spotted a blast from the past that made her stomach lurch.

  ‘What’s up?’ Kevin asked as he sat back down.

  ‘Billy Barnard’s over there with his mum. I feel really bad: I used to pick on him when I was young.’

  Kevin shrugged. ‘We’ve all done shit we regret when we were kids. Don’t worry about it, Suze.’

  Susan stood up. ‘I need to go and speak to him. I know he ain’t all the ticket, but I still have to apologise.’

  Billy grabbed his mother’s arm as Susan walked towards him. Her face brought back so many terrible memories that he was unable to control his emotions. ‘Please don’t let her hurt me. Tell her to go away, Mum.’

  Mrs Barnard stroked Billy’s arm. ‘It’s OK love, sssh. No one will hurt you while I’m here.’

  Unable to look at Billy’s panic-stricken face, Susan spoke directly to his mum. ‘I just wanna say that I’m so sorry for the way I used to treat your Billy. I was a horrible person when I was younger, and I hate myself for it.’

  Mrs Barnard nudged her son. ‘Susan’s saying sorry to you, Billy. She wants to be friends with you.’

  Billy shuffled his feet and looked at the floor.

  ‘Be a good boy and shake Susan’s hand,’ his mum urged.

  Susan smiled as Billy held out his podgy hand. ‘I’m sorry, Billy. Truly sorry.’

  Maria felt really nervous as she walked towards the pub. She’d managed to avoid Tommy since the day he’d come barging into her house. She’d been on top of the world when she’d heard his mother had kicked him out. It was such a relief not to have to worry about him knocking on her door, or seeing his smarmy face.

  James still saw him a few times a week. Now and again they had a boys’ night out on a Friday but, other than that, he only saw him at work. She knew that Tommy often popped into the shop. He’d obviously never said anything about their night of debauchery, but she didn’t trust him as far as she could throw him. She could sense he was an evil bastard, and the thought of seeing him tonight was making her feel sick to the stomach.

  As she reached the pub, she took a deep breath. James needed her and she had to be there for him.

  Sandra and Brenda were the first to start the singalong. It was a ritual in this neck of the woods, especially after a funeral. ‘Daisy, Daisy, give me your answer do! I’m half crazy, all for the love of you!’

  Wendy was in total disbelief as the rest of the pub joined in. They were at a funeral, for Christ sake, and these low-lifes were acting as though it was a bloody party.

  ‘Hello darling.’ James hugged Maria as though he’d never let her go. He might not have ever been close to his dad, but he’d found the whole day upsetting all the same. ‘You’re well late, but I’m so glad you’re here,’ he told her.

  With his arm casually slung around Lucy, Tommy watched the tender moment between his brother and Maria with interest. She was looking at him adoringly and clinging to him like a fucking leech. He couldn’t help smiling as he turned back to Lucy. As special as Maria thought she was, he’d been the first to penetrate that tight little fanny of hers.

  He walked towards her and politely kissed her on the cheek, ‘Hello Maria. How are you? This is Lucy, my girlfriend.’

  ‘I’m fine thanks, Tommy. Nice to meet you, Lucy,’ Maria said, relieved that he had a girlfriend in tow.

  Maria tugged James’s arm. ‘Where’s your mum?’

  ‘Over there with me nan.’

  Maria smiled. ‘Shall we go and sit with them?’

  ‘If you want,’ James replied.

  Ethel spotted her first. ‘’Ere she is, me little darling. You come and sit over ’ere with me.’

  Wendy moved up and ended up sitting next to Gladys. If things weren’t already bad enough, she was now lumbered with the nutty old bat that swallowed whole ducks.

  Gladys smiled at her. ‘How much is that doggy in the window? The one with the waggly tail.’

  Wendy stood up. She’d had enough. Searching for her husband, she found him up at the bar.

  ‘Kenny, I’ve tried, but I can’t stand this one minute longer. Can you call me a cab, please?’

  Tommy was spot-on about Freddie liking Sarah. He was all over her like a rash, the dirty bastard.

  ‘Looks like we’ll be going out in a foursome from now on,’ he joked to Lucy.

  Lucy agreed. ‘I’m just popping to the little girls’ room, I’ll be back in a sec.’

  Tommy smiled as she walked away. She had a cute little arse and he liked the way she wiggled it. He couldn’t quite put his finger on how he felt about Lucy. She’d been bloody good to him, that was for sure. He’d barely known her at all when his mum had chucked him out, but she’d let him stay there for a week and treated him like a god at the same time. She was three years older than he was and worked as a receptionist up town. She was no man’s fool and he did really like her, but that special spark wasn’t there. He fancied her all right, though. She was slim, blonde and stunning, but she was a bit too quiet; he liked them feisty.

  Maureen and Ethel were more than ready for a singalong.

  Pack up all my care and woe,

  Here I go, singing low,

  Bye bye blackbird.

  Susan tried to join in, but couldn’t. The baby kept kicking and bringing tears to her eyes.

  Noticing that her daughter looked as white as a ghost, Maureen stopped singing. ‘Are you OK, love?’

  Susan forced a smile. ‘I think I’m having a footballer, Mum. It’s got to be a boy, he don’t stop bleedin’ kickin’ me.’

  Maria giggled as James joined in. He knew every word to every bloody song.

  ‘How do you know all these oldies?’ she asked him.

  James smiled. ‘I was brought up with the bloody stuff. My nan drummed every word into me from the age of two onwards.’

  Extremely drunk, Kenny was relieved that Wendy had now gone home. She did his head in sometimes and, as much as he loved her, he could never quite relax in her company.

  ‘Ssh, it’s my turn now to choose a song,’ he demanded.

  ‘Go on, my son,’ Ethel urged. Her Kenny had such a lovely voice.

  Kenny stood up. ‘Who’s sorry now? Who’s sorry now? Whose heart is achin’ for breakin’ each vow.’

  Maureen stood up. She desperately needed another drink.

  Watching her mother walk away, Susan grabbed hold of the table. She was fucking sorry now, that was for sure. The baby was giving her gyp and when the little bruiser finally arrived, it would definitely be her first and last.

  Enjoying the singsong, James told Maria to shout up some more drinks. The ramp in the Horn of Plenty was round and centred in the middle of the pub. Seeing Maria standing opposite, Tommy excused himself from his present company and walked over to her.

  ‘How’s it goin’?’

  Maria felt like running back to the table, but decided against it. She wasn’t going to let him think he had the better of her.

  ‘Things are going great, thanks. What about you? Lucy seems nice.’

  Tommy smiled. ‘She is, and she’s far better in the sack than you.’

  Looking around to make sure no one had heard, Maria snarled at him. ‘We need to forget the past, Tommy. I’m with James now, you’re with Lucy, so why can’t we just be friends?’

  Seeing James walking towards them, Tommy slyly pinched her arse. ‘Of course we can, Maria.’

  Debating whether to feign a migraine and ask James to take her home, Maria was stopped in her tracks by the commotion at the table. ‘Whatever’s goin’ on?’

  James shrugged, ‘I dunno.’

  Unable to help herself, Susan let out a scream. This was more than just the baby fucking kicking. ‘Mum, help. I think me appendix has burst or something.’

  Kevin was standing over the other side of the pub with his mates. Seeing his Susan in distress, he darted towards her.

  ‘Are you OK? What’s wrong with you? It’s not the baby, is
it?’

  Gasping for breath, Susan lay on the seat. She felt like something out of a freak show as everyone stood gawping at her, but she was in so much pain, she didn’t care.

  Glad looked at Ethel and nudged her. Ethel nodded. They might have spent most of their life aborting babies, but they were the only two to notice when one was on its way. Ethel was the first to pipe up. ‘Move back, she’s in bleedin’ labour – her waters have broken.’

  Kevin was hysterical. The baby wasn’t even due yet. ‘Don’t just stand there! Ring a fuckin’ ambulance!’ he yelled at the barmaid.

  The ambulance arrived within minutes.

  Aware of the paramedics getting the hump with Kevin’s behaviour, Maureen took him to one side.

  ‘Me and Ethel’ll go with her in the ambulance. You follow in a cab and for fuck’s sake, calm yourself down. They’ll chuck you out of the hospital if you behave like that, yer know.’

  Kevin was desperate to be a daddy, but he had a terrible phobia of pain, blood and everything else that went with it. He was one of the old school, and believed men shouldn’t be involved with those things. Looking up Susan’s fanny was certainly not on his ‘must do’ list, and seeing her actually push the kid out would put him off sex for life. Seeing the state of him, James and Tommy offered to accompany him to the hospital.

  ‘Please come, Maria,’ James begged her.

  Maria refused. She blamed getting up for work in the morning, but really she was repulsed by the thought of sitting in a confined space alongside Tommy. Lucy opted not to go either. She was quite shy and didn’t fancy being at such an important event with a family she barely knew.

  ‘I’ll drop the girls off home and I’ll keep an eye on Glad until you get back,’ Kenny offered.

  The London Hospital was literally minutes away, in Whitechapel. Susan’s contractions were fast and furious and she was rushed straight into delivery. Ethel and Maureen donned surgical gowns and stood beside her.

  ‘Aah, I’m fuckin’ dying!’ Susan screamed. ‘It hurts so much, Mum,’ she cried.

  ‘I hope everything’s all right. She ain’t ’alf early,’ Maureen whispered to Ethel.

  Ethel squeezed her hand. ‘She’ll be fine, they’ve just got the dates wrong, the soppy bastards.’

  Maureen smiled. ‘God works in mysterious ways, don’t he? We’ve just said goodbye to Tommy Snr and our first grandchild chooses to arrive on the very same day.’

  Outside, Kevin was pacing the corridor like a madman. He could hear Susan screaming and it was doing his head in.

  ‘There’s something wrong in there, I know there is,’ he said, over and over again.

  James put an arm around him. ‘Everything’ll be fine, Kev. Just sit down and drink your coffee, it’ll all be over soon.’

  ‘I can see the head, Susan,’ the midwife said. ‘You’re doing just fine. Now keep on pushing, deep breaths.’

  Maureen and Ethel squeezed each other’s hand. They were both emotional and even Ethel had tears in her eyes. A little baby in the family; they couldn’t wait to spoil it.

  ‘You’re nearly there now, Susan. One more big push and baby will arrive.’

  Susan took one last deep breath. ‘Aaaah!’ she screamed.

  Spellbound, Maureen and Ethel looked at one another.

  ‘It’s a boy,’ the midwife announced happily.

  Ethel was the first to snap out of her trance. She had forgotten her glasses and her eyes must be deceiving her. Taking a closer look at the child, she jumped back in shock.

  Frozen to the spot, she grabbed Maureen’s arm.

  ‘Gawd, stone the crows! Either I’m going off me rocker or me blinkers are playin’ me up, ’cause I’m tellin’ yer now, Maur, as God’s my judge, that baby looks fuckin’ black!’

  TWENTY-SIX

  Temporarily struck dumb, Maureen took a closer look. There must be some mistake; there had to be. She stared at the child and shook her head in disbelief. Compared to Kevin and Susan, it was as black as a raven’s wing.

  Finding her voice, she turned to Susan. ‘What have yer been doin’? Yer dirty little whore. Poor Kevin’s standing outside. What am I meant to tell him, eh? You’ve pulled some strokes in the past, Susan, but mark my words, yer brothers will disown you this time. Rip the family to pieces, this will.’

  Not knowing what to do for the best, the midwife tried to defuse the situation by handing the screaming baby to Susan.

  ‘It’s not mine. I don’t want it. Get it away from me,’ Susan shouted. Thinking back, Susan realised that although she’d spotted, her periods hadn’t been normal ever since she’d slept with Royston. If only she’d gone to the doctor. She could have aborted the bastard kid without anyone knowing.

  ‘Do you want to hold him?’ the midwife asked Ethel.

  Ethel shook her head. ‘No, I fuckin’ don’t.’

  Kevin paced up and down the corridor. All he could think of was his reading with Molly Muggins. ‘I’m sure I heard the baby cry ages ago. Do yer think there’s something wrong? Why ain’t no one called for me?’ he said, holding his head in anguish.

  Tommy and James glanced at one another. They were both thinking the same as Kev, but neither wanted to admit it.

  As the baby let out another scream, Tommy smiled. ‘Boy or girl, it’s got a pair of lungs on it. You’re gonna have some sleepless nights with that racket,’ he joked.

  Kevin flopped onto a nearby chair. The waiting was playing havoc with his mind. He turned to James. ‘Go in there for me. I can’t take any more of this. Just find out what’s goin’ on, will yer? I’m dying to know if it’s a boy.’

  James nudged his brother. ‘I don’t wanna see Susan with her legs up in the air. You’re the oldest, you go in, Tom.’

  Tommy stood up. Somebody had to do the honours. He walked towards the delivery room and poked his head around the door. ‘What’s happening? Kev’s pullin’ his hair out. Is everything all right?’

  Susan’s sobbing and his mum’s and nan’s stern faces answered his question. ‘You’re gonna have to wait outside,’ the nurse told him.

  Tommy ignored her. He wasn’t moving until he found out what was wrong. He heard the baby cry and walked towards the cot.

  ‘Don’t look at it, Tommy,’ his mother said, pushing him away.

  ‘Let him fuckin’ see it. Let him see what his dirty whore of a sister has been up to. We can’t bleach it and pretend it’s fuckin’ white, can we?’ Ethel shouted.

  Tommy felt sick as a pig as he peered into the cot. Unable to control himself, he lunged towards Susan. ‘You fuckin’ slag. Who’s the father, you fuckin’ whore?’

  The nurses tried to stop him as he grabbed Susan by the hair and tried to drag her out of the bed. ‘Get security,’ one screamed.

  ‘Stop it, Tommy. You’re hurting her,’ Maureen yelled, as she grabbed him from behind.

  Afraid for Susan’s safety, Nurse Zokora leaped into action. She was of African origin herself, and was more than used to the racist comments and behaviour that she was seeing and hearing. ‘Please, let us stop this fighting. We have a beautiful baby boy here. The child needs his mother and his family; he needs love, bless his soul.’

  Ethel shook her head. ‘He’s one of yours, darlin’, not one of ours. I ain’t bein’ seen with a kid that’s as black as Newgate’s knocker. Imagine takin’ it out in a pram? We’ll be a laughin’ stock, us Huttons, the talk of the fuckin’ town.’

  As two security guards rushed past, Kevin stood up. ‘What the fuck is goin’ on?’ he shouted, as he followed them into the room. ‘Susan, where’s my baby? Is it a boy? What’s wrong with him? Is he dead?’ Kevin screamed, as Tommy walked towards him.

  Ethel was the first to answer. ‘He ain’t your son, Kevin. The baby’s as black as fuckin’ soot. It’s in that cot; look for yerself.’

  Maureen shot her a look. She could be so tactless at times.

  Kevin looked at Tommy. Ethel was winding him up, she had to be. Tommy shook his head. ‘Let�
��s talk outside, Kev.’

  Kevin pushed Tommy out of the way and looked into the cot. ‘No, Susan, no,’ he sobbed, as he sank to his knees.

  ‘I’m so sorry, Kev. It was one night, I was drunk. Please forgive me, I’ll get it adopted and me and you can have another baby. Don’t leave me, Kev, please, I love you.’

  ‘You have to leave now. Only birthing partners are allowed in here,’ the security guard told Tommy and Kevin.

  ‘Touch me again and I’ll knock you out,’ Tommy shouted, pushing him away.

  Maureen bent down and urged Kevin to stand up. ‘Come on, love, let’s get you out of here.’

  Still sobbing, Kevin felt a bolt of anger surge through him. ‘What is my mum and mates gonna say? I’ve been taken for a right cunt, and it’s all that slag’s fault. Fuckin’ black man’s meat, she’s a fuckin’ whore. I’ll kill you for this, Susan, fuckin’ kill yer. Molly Muggins was right: sadness and tears, she said. When you get out of this hospital, you’re dead, you nigger-lovin’ slag.’

  As he was led from the room, Kevin completely lost the plot. ‘I’m gonna fuckin’ kill some cunt,’ he screamed, as he pushed over the drinks machine.

  Being no more than eighteen stone between them, the security guards were well out of their depth. ‘Call extra security,’ one shouted to the other.

  As Kevin continued smashing up the hospital, Maureen and Ethel walked outside. Distraught, they sat on a wooden bench. ‘I can’t believe this is happening. What are we gonna do, Mum?’ Maureen asked.

  Ethel shrugged her shoulders. ‘Don’t ask me. I suppose it’s best all round if she has it adopted.’

  Maureen shook her head. ‘She can’t do that. No matter what colour it is, it’s still our flesh and blood.’

  Ethel stood up. ‘Well, it ain’t my flesh and blood. I’ll never be able to show me face down the bingo or the market again. I’m goin’ home now. Need a lie down, I do. I want nothin’ more to do with Susan or the fuckin’ kid.’

  Maureen watched her walk away. Part of her wanted to do the same, but she couldn’t.