Lost in You

by Lauren Dane

  Joe grabbed an extra helmet, and Buck gave him a look, but accepted the new rawhide chew after he’d come back inside. There was a doggie door and everything, but Buck had been with Beth, in her house where everything smelled good, and now he was going to be alone for a few hours while Joe took her out for a ride.

  “Dude, I want to spend some time with her. She’s never been on a motorcycle she said.”

  Buck snorted but settled in to chew, preparing for an evening of napping. He raised one brow as if to tell Joe not to mess it up.

  “See you later. Don’t let anyone burgle me.”

  She opened her door, smiling as she walked right up to him, put her arms around his neck and tiptoed up, pulling him down for a kiss. Then she walked past, to his bike. She circled it, and goddamn if it wasn’t sexy the way she touched it here and there. Peered at it, clearly impressed.

  “This is a seriously sexy motorcycle. I’m just sayin’.”

  He licked his lips and moved to her, grabbing the extra helmet, handing it over. “Yeah? Just wait til it’s between your legs.”

  She let out a shuddery breath and he let the satisfaction steal over him. He liked affecting her that way. It shouldn’t all be one sided.

  “I’m looking forward to it.”

  He got on and she followed, allowing him to help.

  She didn’t need to hold on. He could have told her she could sit up and hold the seat. But when she snuggled close against his back, those thighs of hers to either side of his body, the hot notch of her pussy against his back, he said nothing.

  Her arms slid around his waist and he leaned back a little. She pressed a kiss to his neck, and he smiled, pulling out and then slowly down her street, heading out of town.

  She lost track of time. Aware only of the way his back felt against her body. Of the way his muscles tensed and bunched as they took a corner.

  The night all around them was glorious. The twilight casting a pink-orange glow on the world.

  He pulled down a long road out toward the lake and stopped but didn’t get off. He reached back, giving her an arm to help her down. She was tall, but he made her feel small. Not helpless. She liked it even as it sort of kept her off balance.

  “I used to come out here.” He spread a blanket out, and she sat, looking out over the hillside sloping down to the water.

  “You did?”

  “Back in high school. When things got shitty, or when I just couldn’t take it, I’d drive out here and sit for hours.”

  “So did the military help you?”

  He settled next to her, leaning back on his elbows. The fading light cast shadows on his face.

  “I joined because I was on a bender.” He snorted.

  “That was dumb.”

  He laughed. “Yes. But it was a good thing.” He paused, and she made herself be patient, hoping he’d say more. “I signed up in a stupid, drunken macho haze. Oh I was going to go over to Eye Rack and kick some ass. Until I went to basic and it sucked. God. I had to be up when someone else told me to be. I went to sleep when someone else told me. I ate when someone else told me. I was no longer in control of any aspect of my life.”

  The stars began to blink up above them as she leaned back to get a better look. He tangled his fingers with hers and she smiled.

  “Did you try to get out of it?”

  “Fuck yeah. I was miserable. They didn’t give a shit that I was tired. They didn’t give a shit about any of my excuses. Or my lack of control. I got into a few fights and got my butt thrown into the brig. I was thinking if they threw me out I’d be done. I just didn’t care.

  “And then my C.O. came to see me and was like look, son, don’t be a dumbass. You have an opportunity here. You can go back to your shitty little town until you finally go to prison. Or you can use this time and experience to get yourself some self-control. Some skills you can make a living with.”

  Beth wondered if his father had ever said anything like that to him. Hers never would have bothered. She didn’t know much about Joe’s dad. He’d done odd jobs around a back injury and lots of unemployment. He was big though, like Joe. His mother had worked in the cafeteria at the grade school for as long as Beth could remember.

  “So I got out and got into a mechanic’s training program. I had one more narrow miss with jail, and that was it.”

  “Then you got sent to Iraq.”

  He wasn’t sure why he was pouring his story out this way. He hadn’t ever really done it. But there was something about her. The steady presence beside him, her fingers in his. She was strong. Beth Murphy didn’t need fixing. Or shielding. It was…nice to say it. To talk about himself there in the deepening darkness.

  “I was still an asshole. Not as bad once I’d sobered up. But I thought Iraq would be one way. But when I got there it wasn’t.” He licked his lips. “The people I met were good people. They weren’t my enemy. You know? They had lives and then this war erupted all around them. Everything was different for them.”

  “Like it was for you I wager.”

  “Yeah. And I didn’t have to go out on patrols regularly like other people did. There was plenty of stuff to be fixed all the time. Every day. The sand and dust got into everything, fucked it up. And of course there was sabotage. And getting shot at.”

  She got very quiet and he appreciated it.

  “I went to Iraq not so much thinking of it as Eye Rack like I did when I first signed up.” He was ashamed of that now. “But I figured it was easy. You know? Who the enemy was. But it’s not. And you’re in a public market and someone who smiles at you is the person with the fucking bomb strapped to his chest. Or the old guy you’re suspicious of is the one who risks everything to tell you about a bomb he saw getting planted.” It had fucked with his head for a long time. Everything he thought was true had been challenged. He’d seen so much death. So much destruction. He felt for the people in Iraq. Felt for the soldiers.

  Sometimes he still woke up with his hands shaking, sheets wet from his sweat. But he was alive and he had all his limbs, which was more than some of his friends could say. And he had come back with a skill.

  “It sucked. I learned a lot. They kept me longer than I’d have stayed given any choice at all. But it’s over and I have a skill I can use to pay my rent. That’s something. I never thought it. Not when I was young. I figured I’d have some shitty job out at the mill. If I was lucky.”

  The night air hung with the scent of flowers, of warm earth and bark from the trees all around them.

  “I’m glad you’re back.”

  He smiled because she meant it. It was a tease, yes, but she was being honest and it was really, really nice to be wanted.

  “How’d you end up owning a salon?”

  “I don’t remember much. Not before I was nine or so. Tate says it’s probably because of…well of how things were at my house. But I never did well at school. I got by. To have done any less would have been hard on Tate, and God knows she had it hard enough. Nathan, well, he always saw college as a way out. A way up. I never saw myself going to college. But after high school I took some accounting classes at the community college. Mainly to pass time. I had a bunch of crappy secretarial jobs. Anyway, I found out I was good with numbers and math. I liked it. I liked making things balance. Numbers make sense. There’s a right answer. So I got this job at a medical office in Riverton. I saved my money, thinking about buying a house. Anne and Tate bought the salon, and I helped with the books. Volunteering at first. Helping with the ordering and that sort of thing. The whole family worked on the building. Painting, new drywall, stuff that would have been really expensive to have paid for. They got in about six months and needed more capital to keep going. I proposed to come on as a third partner. I had my nest egg, and boy let me tell you, it took a week of constant arguing with Tate to get her to do it. But in the end I bought in.”

  “Looks successful. My mom gets her hair done there, she said.”

  Beth laughed. “She does. I don’t k
now her very well. Tate does her hair. But she seems like a very nice lady. We do all right. I manage things. Tate and Anne are the talent, so to speak. We have a nail person who comes in a few days a week and two others who have stations for cuts and color. Tate did a special class on how to do facials and that stuff, so she does a spa day two days a month. Those are popular. I have a good life. I never dreamed of it when I was a kid, you know? But it’s a good life. I work with my sisters every day. I see my family all the time. I can pay my bills. My car is in decent shape. I have no real debt. And now there’s this super-hot guy who’s come back to town and things seem to be moving in a good direction.”

  He sat up, hungry for her. “We should go back.”

  She yanked on his arm. “Why? There’s no one out here but me and you.”

  He kissed her slow and deep. “What I want to do to you might be illegal in Georgia. We should do it behind a closed door.”

  She laughed. “Put that way…”

  He stood, tugging her to her feet. But then he swayed, holding her to his body. Dancing to music she made just by existing. He was tall, but so was she. She fit him so well.

  They danced for some time as the night closed in all around them. Until he tipped her chin up and fell into that mouth once again. Until need raced through him, beating at him.

  He broke away, handing her a helmet.

  Then his phone rang.

  He groaned and looked at the screen. “I’m so sorry. I have to take this.” He turned his back and answered his mother’s call.

  He’d had a terse, quiet conversation before turning back to her, telling her he had to go, dropping her off at her place and speeding off into the night.

  She’d asked if she could help, but he shut her down with a shake of his head. He’d gotten on his bike without another word and waited for her to climb up behind him. Even back at her place he’d been quiet, not going in with her, just waiting until she’d gotten her door unlocked before he’d pulled back out and roared away.

  That sucked.

  She’d slept horribly, and though it was her day off, she’d headed in to the shop to keep busy.

  “You want to tell me what’s up your butt?” Anne put a cup of coffee in front of Beth.

  “Nothing’s up my butt, Anne. That’s exit only, thank you very much.”

  Anne snorted. “Well your sense of humor still exists. So what’s wrong?”

  Beth huffed a sigh. “Okay so last night I managed to finally get some forward movement with Joe. I mean we had this scorching-hot make-out session and it was edging toward sex and then—”

  “Make out? Like you’re in high school? Did you let him touch your boob over your bra but under your shirt?”

  “Listen here, sister. Making out is totally underrated. Sure, sure, once you’re older and you can have sex, kissing for forty-five minutes at a time flies out the window cause, duh, sex. But, making out with Joe Harris is hot. Anyway, so we have this talk and things are great and he takes me for a ride on his motorcycle and we laid on a blanket out under the stars and kissed some more and he’s like hey I want to fuck you hard and I’m like hello, let’s get on that. And then his phone rings, he takes me home without more than four words and he’s gone.”

  “Who was it? On the phone I mean.”

  “I think it was his mom.”

  Anne’s horrified look nearly made Beth choke on her coffee. “Ew. His mom?”

  “Hush up. Jeez, weirdo. I think he’s got trouble at home. You know his dad hasn’t been well.” Joe had alluded to health issues in his family being part of the reason he came back.

  “I didn’t tell you this yet, but I heard Jim Bodry down at the hardware store talking about Mr. Harris. Saying he got into a yelling match with Merle at the post office.”

  Beth frowned. “He used to drink a fair bit. But not like Dad drinks. I wonder if it’s worse now. I just wish Joe would talk to me.”

  “Give him a chance at least. It’s only been a day. See if he calls you today.”

  “I was thinking of calling him.”

  Anne snorted. “He needs to call you. You were nearly doing it and he ran off? I’m not sure there’s a Miss Manners for that, but if there was, she’d say he broke off the sexing so it’s his job to call and check in. Like if he broke a date.”

  Anne met her eyes. “Look. I know you like being in charge. But you got that far enough. You pushed your way into his life and obviously it worked. Although he’s lucky to have you. He’s a guy. A big burly guy like William. He’s going to need to be in charge now. Also? Honey, he needs to do it. You deserve that. You can only chase so much and now it’s his turn.”

  That’s when Tate burst through the door with her sister-in-law, Maggie Chase and a passel of kids. Beth smiled at the sight. Standing to go scoop up some smooches.

  “It’s your day off.” Tate gave her a long look. “Why are you here?”

  “Just can’t get enough of Anne’s sunny disposition I guess. What’s up this fine day?” Beth gave her attention to Maggie. “Hey there.”

  “The house is awash with Chase men watching sports. Lordamighty.”

  Beth looked to Anne with a grin. “And that’s a complaint?” Every one of the Chase brothers was better than the last to look at. Gorgeous, great manners, sexy, and head over heels in love with their wives.

  Maggie laughed. “Go on over and look. Really, it’s pretty stunning. But noisy. Polly has requested a house full of babies, those are her words. So Tate and I thought we’d take them over. But we wanted to stop by to invite you two to lunch with us.”

  “Oh, lunch with adults. Doesn’t it sound amazing?” Tate sighed happily and Beth felt a million times better.

  “Yes, it does.”

  “I’ve got one last cut in about fifteen minutes. It’s a quick one. I’ll be done by one. I can meet you guys.” Anne stood, stretching.

  “We’ve got to drop off all the kids and stuff. It’ll be around one before we’re ready anyway. We were thinking about Chinese food.”

  “Oooh! Riverton?”

  “Yes.” Tate smiled. China Dish had been a favorite for as long as Beth could remember. A big treat now and then as they’d earned some money and wanted to celebrate. It wasn’t fancy by any stretch, but it had good memories, big tables and huge portions.

  “Be back here at one then. We can carpool over.”

  Maggie and Tate left.

  “I’m going to run home to change. I’ll be back to help you close up.” Beth gave Anne a hug. “Thank you for listening.”

  Anne waved it away. “Of course.”

  She had dinner later on that night at Tate’s so she figured she’d put on a little makeup and change into something pretty. It was good to look nice. It’d pick up her spirits maybe.

  And she was doubly glad she’d done it when she came out her front door to find Joe pulling up to the curb in his truck.

  He got out and looked her up and down real slow. “Hey.” He shoved his hands into his pockets and loped over. She was glad she had her sunglasses on so she could check him out all sneaky-like.

  “Hey. Everything all right?”

  He sighed heavily. “Yeah. I’m sorry. About last night I mean. It was a family emergency.”

  “You wanna talk about it?”

  “God no.” He shoved a hand through his hair. “You free? I mean, I know you’re busy and all. I just thought—”

  “I’m not. Not right now anyway. I’m having lunch with my sisters. You want to come to dinner with me tonight? At Tate’s? They’re setting up a screen in the backyard and watching a movie after we eat. It’s pretty fun. William will be there too.”

  He hesitated, and she made herself a promise that if he blew her off she was done chasing the delicious Joe Harris.

  “Okay. If you’re sure it’s not a problem.”

  She grinned, cocking her head to look up at him. “Tate cooks enough for an army. One more person won’t hurt. Heck, she’ll be thrilled. Because she’s weird t
hat way.”

  He reached out and took her hand, bringing it to his mouth to kiss. “I really am sorry about last night.”

  “Me too. I hope everything is okay now. With your family I mean.”

  He sighed again. “Yeah.”

  She gave him Tate’s address and told him she’d see him at seven for dinner. He walked her to her car and frowned when she started it.

  “When’s the last time you had a tune-up?”

  She shrugged. “I don’t know. It’s running fine.”

  He bent, and she leaned out to kiss him because he looked so good. “Don’t try to change the subject.”

  She laughed. “Am I so transparent?”

  “Bring it by the shop on Monday morning. Leave it and it’ll be done by the time you get off work.”

  “You’re being very nice to me.”

  “I like you.” He stood before he said anything else, stepping back. “See you at seven.”

  Chapter Seven

  She watched Joe, his head bent toward William, a huge grin on his face.

  “I think he’s good for William.” Tate handed Beth a cream soda. “It’s good for him to have friends around. I admit when Joe first came to town I wasn’t convinced he’d outgrown his past.”

  “I feel like we’re talking about one of the kids.” Beth sipped her soda. “Maybe we should have Joe over for a playdate.”

  “If so, can I play with him too?” Anne waggled her brows and Beth threw a piece of ice at her. A little harder than she needed to.

  “Ouch! I was just joking.”

  Beth giggled. “I laugh because it hurts. Remember that. Keep your mitts away.”

  Anne gave her a surreptitious middle finger. “I’ve never seen you actually jealous before. It’s fascinating. You’re going to get a line on your forehead though, so stop. He’s too tall for my taste. But he’s got a great ass.”

  “He’s the kind of kisser that makes a woman weak in the knees. Takes his time.” She shivered as she watched him with her brothers and the Chase boys.