For All the Evers

by Debra Anastasia

Her key opened the door to room 514. The room smelled musty, and without the heat it was also chilly. The windows had condensation on the inside. Fallen hurried to set up her broken fork security system, and she took the hammer with her as she climbed onto the bed. The comforter felt slightly damp. The place had only been truly empty for two days, but large buildings must need climate control more than she’d realized.

  The sleepiness took her quickly, like she’d slid a needle under her skin to instigate the feeling. After the blackness coincided with the rush of movement, she opened her eyes again.

  She was still in room 514.

  Panic engulfed her. Maybe once Thomas was gone, there was nowhere to go. Today was the day, after all. But she didn’t have the hammer now, so that tipped her off that something had changed.

  She sat up and saw that her broken fork lock was missing as well, so she got off the bed to slide the door open. The hallway was empty. She felt a chill skitter up her spine. Something was different. Off.

  “Thomas?” She whispered at first, but then she shouted. What did she have to lose? She waited a moment and heard footfalls on the staircase. She had nowhere to hide, except back in 514, so she just waited.

  The fire door from the stairway opened slowly. Fallen fully expected to see Lad, but instead Thomas walked through. As soon as he saw her, he ran toward her.

  Relief took her legs out from under her. She knelt on the ground as he rushed in her direction.

  “We’ve got to hide, dream girl.” He helped her to her feet and backed her into room 514, closing the door behind him.

  “You’re here. I was scared.” She touched his face and felt the scruff there.

  Thomas gave her a distracted kiss. “He’s coming.”

  “Who?” she asked, but really didn’t need to. It was always Lad.

  Thomas looked through the peephole. “I don’t see him yet.”

  “How did you know to come here?” She ran her arms over his. She had to tell him something important.

  “I stayed in this room once before I was deployed, and I always remembered it. Five-fourteen is my mother’s birthday, remember? I just had a hunch I needed to check it out.” He finally seemed to focus on her. “Fallen, I was scared I wouldn’t get to you in time. Before…”

  He kissed the hell out of her then, his hands everywhere. She hugged him tightly until a knock on the door startled them both.

  Thomas steadied her and put his index finger to his lips. He looked again and frowned. “It’s not him,” he whispered.

  “What?” Fallen took a look herself. At first she just saw brown hair, but then the woman’s face came to the peephole. It was Nora. “Mom?”

  She pulled open the door before Thomas could stop her. Nora all but fell through the doorway. She reeked of booze.

  “Nora, why are you here?”

  “Did you know my daughter is dating a millionaire? He’s going to fix everything.” Nora’s slurring was on par with the worst benders Fallen could remember.

  Shame washed over her as Nora gagged in what had to be impending vomit. Fallen couldn’t look Thomas in the face as she dragged Nora to the toilet just in time.

  “This isn’t right,” Thomas said from the bathroom doorway. He faced the bed so Nora could have some privacy. “Last time you knew the woman at the wedding, and this time your mom is here. Except for Lad, we’ve never seen people we know before.”

  Fallen pulled her mother’s hair out of her face and tucked it in the back of her grubby shirt. She ran a washcloth under the sink to put on her mother’s forehead. Then she heard the sound of Nora’s body hitting the floor.

  “Crap.” She set the cloth down, and Thomas helped her pull her mother off the floor.

  “It’s okay, let me,” he said as he hefted Nora onto the bed.

  Fallen fussed with the blankets to prop her mother on her side and slid the wastepaper basket near her head.

  Once Nora was situated, Fallen hugged herself. “I’m sorry you have to see this. It’s my worst nightmare.”

  Thomas pulled her to him and hugged her. “Shit.”

  “What?” Fallen looked at his face to find it paled.

  “Well, if this is your worst nightmare…” Thomas’ voice drifted off.

  She felt the rush of being transported, standing this time. She clung as hard as she could to Thomas.

  When their feet had settled, she opened her eyes to darkness, warmth, and incredible humidity.

  Thomas finished his sentence, “…then I’m afraid we’ll be taken to mine.”

  Fallen looked around and saw palm trees and unfamiliar foliage.

  Thomas was instantly on alert.

  “Where are we? Where’s my mom?”

  “I don’t think your mom’s here. This is a battlefield. The one place I never wanted to see your pretty face. Thomas touched her cheek for a moment before pushing her roughly behind a tree.

  It took a minute to realize the popping she heard in the distance was gunfire. His eyes scanned the surroundings like the veteran fighter he was.

  “I can’t believe this is happening. I need to keep you safe.” Tension corded his neck and clenched his jaw.

  “Listen. Listen to me.” Fallen touched his bicep so he would hear her. “Let’s fix it. Together. Let’s go to the lobby of the hotel we were in. Do you remember it?”

  “What if I go and you stay here?” he whispered. “No.” He pressed himself against her as a gunshot sounded closer to them.

  “We have to try. It’s just a dream here. It’s okay. Come with me. Hug me. Dream with me. The front lobby. It has the red chairs and the gold-framed mirrors?” At least she hoped they’d been there when he’d stayed at the hotel.

  He finally looked down and nodded at her. “Let’s try. But if you get stuck here, lay low. I will find you.”

  She nodded back and kissed him, thinking of the lobby she’d had to clean so much getting ready for Mr. Orbit’s first visit.

  The uneasiness came, and she opened her eyes to look into Thomas’ stunning blue ones.

  “It worked,” he assured her.

  They were sitting together on the floor, but Fallen could see that the lobby had all the modern touches it shouldn’t have. They’d gone back to the abandoned hotel, not the one Thomas had stayed in. Out the front door she saw her brother and Mitchel pull up in the darkness. Fenn began banging on the glass.

  “That’s Fenn.”

  Thomas shook his head in disbelief. “He looks like you.”

  “Fallen, answer your phone,” Fenn yelled.

  “He wants you to answer your phone?” Thomas looked confused.

  Fallen stood, and Thomas steadied her elbow. She locked hands with him before she hurried to the revolving door. She pushed on it to get to Fenn, but it wouldn’t open. “Help me, can you? It’s stuck.”

  He pulled her away from her struggle. “Fallen.”

  “What?” Why wouldn’t he help her? Fenn was right there, and Mitchel was pointing to the side of the building. She couldn’t understand what he said.

  “I can see through them. Can you?” Thomas pointed out the door.

  Fallen looked, and he was right, Fenn was transparent. “Oh my God. Is he okay?”

  Fallen went for the emergency door instead. She heard Lad’s laughter and whirled around. Thomas pulled her into his arms.

  Lad was transparent too. “I think the room is slipping.” He leered at her. “Because I can see you just a little, maid.”

  He lurched for them, and his hand went right through Fallen’s stomach, as if she were made of air. She felt nothing, but Thomas pulled her away anyway.

  He kissed her again, despite Lad’s rage all around them.

  “Something’s happening,” Thomas whispered. “Your mom, your brother, now him. Maybe it’s my time. Now.” He ran his hands from the top of her head to her shoulder, lifting up the ends of her hair to sniff them.

  “No.” Fallen shook her head. “I’ve wanted to tell you so badly. It’s a landmin
e.”

  There was a loud hiss. Lad’s mouth was still moving, and in her peripheral vision, she saw Fenn and Mitchel take off in the car.

  “Can you hear me?” she asked Thomas, touching his lips, then his ears.

  He nodded.

  “Your brother’s wife said you led your men down a path, and because you went first—we lose you.” Her heart sighed with relief as he nodded.

  “And my men?” Thomas picked up her hands and kissed her knuckles. Lad literally walked between them, but he was fading—just a mosquito, just noise.

  “They made it. You saved them.” It was like being dipped in ice-cold water when she watched him nod.

  “Good.”

  “Good? What the hell? You can’t do it. Just stay back; don’t go. Okay? Stay alive. For me. Make it back to me.” Fallen covered her mouth as he shook his head sadly.

  Around them the lobby went white. No more fanciful pictures to play with in their imaginations.

  Thomas pulled her in again, kissing her head. “Dream girl, I’m a solider. Those are my men. That’s my job.” His eyes were teary.

  “Don’t close your eyes. Please, stay. Just stay.” Fallen held on to him as tightly as she could.

  He tilted her face toward his, lips smiling but eyes sad. “I won’t. I can’t stay.”

  “You can.” She climbed up him until he held her, her legs wrapped around his middle. “I believe we can stay here. Just don’t wake up. Don’t go back.” She ran her fingertips down his handsome face. “I know what’s going to happen. I’m begging you. And I’ve never begged anyone for anything. Ever. Please, Thomas.”

  He put his forehead against hers. “I’m going to miss you.” His eyes teared up a little, but his determination shone through. “So, so much. Forever.”

  Her own tears were free now, coasting over her lips and into her mouth. She wrapped her arms around his neck and spoke against his mouth, the salty emotions painting his lips as well. “Love me enough to stay.”

  He shook his head infinitesimally, refusing to break the contact. “Don’t say that.”

  She had to play dirty. He was her everything.

  “If you loved me, you’d stay.” She gripped his wide shoulders.

  “Dream girl.” He sighed his nickname for her for one last time. “I love you enough to die for you.”

  She panicked in his arms, hearing the finality. “No. No. No! Please. No.”

  He held her closer as she struggled to get away. If she didn’t say goodbye, he couldn’t leave.

  “Stop. Don’t. Be still.” He set her on her feet and stroked her hair from the crown to where it ended at the middle of her back. “I need this. This one moment with you. It makes me brave.” He began to nod. “It’s happening. It’s going to happen. I can’t desert them.”

  His voice sounded less commanding. He was scared.

  They weren’t going to get to have this life together, but she could try to help him with his death.

  “Okay. Okay.” She wiped her tears, centering herself with a strength she hadn’t possessed until this very second. “Look at me.”

  They looked into each other’s eyes. Despite all she had done—the hoping, the praying—it had come to this. He began to fade, his lids getting heavier.

  “Remember this. Remember us,” she told him.

  He put his arms around her. She made sure they maintained eye contact.

  He’s leaving.

  Superhuman strength welled up in her as she focused instead of dissolved.

  “Know that I love you more than time.” She kissed his lips, his nose, his lips again.

  “What if I’m a coward...in the end?” He voiced his unspoken fear.

  “I swear on this, on our love—I know you will be remembered only for your valor.”

  She’d seen his Purple Heart. His legacy was bravery.

  “Dream girl.”

  He grew quieter; this was how it went, the way it ended in all her waking nightmares.

  The pain of not saving him would crush her soul.

  “Yeah?” She put her hand on his heart, feeling it thump against her hand.

  “Live. And that flag?” Even in his last moments, pride and commitment.

  “It’ll fly every day.” Her heart performed a wedding here, in this place, only to that piece of material instead of to him.

  “Love. Don’t give up on that.” He held her face and kissed her.

  Beneath his gentle lips, she couldn’t lie—even if he wanted her to. “There’s only you. There will only ever be you.”

  “Okay.” He ran his knuckles along her cheek and jaw. “Yours is a face worth fighting for. Don’t worry. I’ll make your future safe.”

  “When I die, I’ll come here. I’ll find you.”

  Thomas nodded. He was almost gone now, barely in front of her.

  She wanted him ready for battle on the other side.

  “I love you forever, Fallen.” He was just a ghost of a shape.

  “You give them hell, Thomas McHugh.” She went to her tiptoes as he took his last kiss.

  In the wisp of his silhouette, after the kiss could go on no more, she sensed his stunning blue eyes on her, like she was his talisman.

  “I’ll love you for all the evers I get.” She blew a kiss, and the wisp of him washed away with the sentiment.

  Then he was gone. She’d sent the man she loved to his death.

  A sound as close to the soundtrack for hell as she’d ever heard ripped though the quiet. It wasn’t until she put her wrist to her mouth, blocking her airway, that she realized the noise had come from her.

  She bent at the waist, hugging her middle as she gasped.

  Was it now?

  Was it now?

  Was he dying right now?

  She cried herself to a prone position, and desolation found her like a rogue wave.

  It had all been for nothing in the end.

  A little while later, when she felt the heat, she opened her eyes. She was awake, back in her world, and it was on fire.

  Engulfed in flames, Fallen felt a small hope. In death she could see him again. In death she could triumph.

  She dropped the hammer and noted the broken fork. Her mother was nowhere to be found. She scrambled off the damp bed in room 514 and grabbed the mirror. Mr. Orbit was banging on the door and screaming her name, but she couldn’t be bothered with that now. She grabbed the edge of the moist comforter and used it as a filter against the smoke.

  Beyond her reflection, she watched someone shaking Thomas awake as he reclined against a tree. His men, the ones he was so protective of, filled him in about something. She watched the mirror as intently as she could.

  “Don’t,” she told him. The comforter dropped from her mouth. If he was going to die, so should she.

  Orbit continued banging on the door to room 514. He was corporal enough now to exert his force on the wood. It didn’t matter.

  Only the mirror mattered.

  She touched Thomas’ moving image.

  Don’t go.

  Please.

  I warned you.

  I fixed this.

  I saved you.

  Thomas, save yourself.

  He listened to the urgent words from his fellow soldiers. Tears blurred Fallen’s vision as she watched her love stop the man in front of him to take the lead as they traversed the hidden, tropical wood. Thomas kissed the quarter ring on his hand and armed himself. Her ring had not made it back with her.

  She knew she was growing faint, the smoky air burning her throat.

  Still she forced her eyes to stay open. She would be with him until the end, even if only remotely.

  Thomas held out his hand, and the men trailing behind him stayed back. The look on his face was resignation, like he’d expected this all along.

  Fallen could tell when the landmine detonated because of the way his men reacted, the shockwave knocking them back. Then white smoke fogged the mirror.

  Fallen passed out holding the piece o
f glass to her heart.

  Chapter 25

  Rest in Peace

  Fallen remembered holding the mirror, but she didn’t remember getting to the lobby. She was still hugging, but her arms were around a person now, not metal and glass.

  She looked down at familiar hair. Thomas.

  Her heart rate raced, and she struggled to sit up, keeping his head in her lap. She ran her hands over his middle, looked at his legs. He was perfectly intact. But still.

  Fallen ran her hands over his face, whispering his name. “Thomas. Please.”

  When his eyes fluttered open, she gasp-shouted with joy. “You’re here.”

  His confusion took a while to dissipate, then his reflexes kicked in, and he was on top of her in in a heartbeat.

  “Stay down!” He took in their surroundings in the lobby. “What happened?”

  He stood and lifted her with him.

  “I think we died. Maybe. I saw you just before the landmine, and where I was there was so much smoke… But it doesn’t matter. You’re here, and it didn’t hurt.” She went to her tiptoes and kissed his distracted face.

  When he committed to the kiss, the room went topsy-turvy and Fallen felt like she was tumbling through space in Thomas’ arms. They landed with a thud on the bed in room 514. Neither would take their hands off the other.

  The mirror lay on the bed as well.

  The room was a haze of smoke, and they both started coughing.

  “Fallen! I know you’re in there! You have to get out. It’s on fire. The hotel is on fire.” Mr. Orbit was still yelling from the hallway.

  “Is my mother here?” Fallen crawled off of the bed, the mirror under her arm.

  Thomas jumped up and checked the bathroom. “No. We’re getting out right now.”

  He slid open the window and punched out the screen. “Come here.”

  Fallen peeked over the sill. The room beneath 514 had a small balcony. The mirror slipped from her arms and landed on the umbrella below, then slid off the building, out of sight.

  She looked at him. “I can’t.”

  “You will.” He picked her up and set her in the sill. “Hold my arms.”

  She did as he said, and after he lifted her, he slid her down the building. Her knees banged against the wall. “You’re coming, right?” she asked.