Heart of Farellah: Book 3

by Brindi Quinn

  Saying nothing, I scooted myself to Darch’s side and pointed to the bottom of his pants. Eyes wide, and without a word, he pulled them up. I bent forward and gave him the healing power stored in my top lip. That blue was reflected off the front of his glasses for just a moment before sinking into his skin.

  “Wow!” he cried. “The Pure Heart just . . . Wow!”

  Laughing inside, I next turned to Ardette, grateful that there was something I could do to repay just a little bit of what he’d given me. My bottom lip was his. Just this once, it was for him. Without consciously doing so, I bit it.

  Okay, Ardette. Your turn . . . but just know that this is completely innocent, okay?!

  Was it, though?

  I nodded to Ardette and pointed to his leg, but for some reason, he shook his head.

  What? Why? Don’t be stupid. I couldn’t accept no for an answer. Not after calling forth that ancient gift. Let me, Ardette. This’ll give you the strength you need to keep going.

  I reached for him, but he shook his head again and backed away from me in an escaping scamper. It was almost like he was . . . anxious? Okay, that was weird.

  Ardette . . . come on. Now I was feeling a little offended. How shallow of me to feel that way, but it was happening nonetheless. Ardette could read it, and he responded by reaching a hand to my elbow.

  “It’s not that I don’t want it,” he said quietly. He wouldn’t meet my eyes.

  Then what?

  “Uh.” He messed with his hair. It was like he was fighting something back. What the heck? He cleared his throat and tipped his head at Nyte. “Give it to him.”

  “I do not need it. I have not been affected yet. It is for you to take. We will make better time if you are at full strength. Why are you hesitating?”

  Nyte was right. Ardette had to take it. He was just being silly. He was probably trying to play ‘wholesome’ or something, but he’d picked a really bad time to do it. The song was still stored in my lip. What else could I do with it?

  I leaned forward again, but Ardette grabbed my wrist to stop me. “Honestly, I never thought I’d see the day I reject a kiss from yo-” But he stopped himself mid-sentence.

  His eyes had just flashed to black again.

  It wasn’t that his pupils had grown to cover his irises. It was all just black in an instant, signaling that ‘other’ part’s arrival.

  My dragon?

  Without warning, he gave my wrist a good yank, and I fell on top of him.

  “Ardetto, NO!”

  But Ardette didn’t heed Darch’s warning. He stole the kiss for himself, but his lips weren’t in need of aid. The spell of healing was rejected, and I was forced to choke the song back down. The aftermath of that should have been enough for me to recoil, but I couldn’t. Ardette’s lips were on mine, and the dream forcefully took hold of me as it had already taken hold of him.

  My dragon.

  He was my dragon, and I was his angel, and in that moment, I committed the greatest sin of my life. In front of Nyte, I wrapped my arms around Ardette’s neck and passionately kissed him back. He placed a hand at the small of my back and held me against him. We were the only two people on the coil. We were all that mattered.

  I love you, my dragon.

  Darch was on us in a flash. He pulled me off of Ardette, and shouted,

  “You’re AURA! Come on, Aura! AURA! Ardetto, SUPRESS IT! SUPRESS IT RIGHT NOW!” He gave my shoulders a shake. “You are Aura Telmacha Rosh! You’re only HER!”

  “I’m . . . Aura?”

  No, I was Angel. Or was I? I shook my head to shake away the dream’s influence.

  I was Aura, and . . . WHAT HAD I JUST DONE!?

  I searched the bubble and found Nyte’s face. It was there, staring at me. Shattered. Confused. Broken.

  “DAMN!” Ardette rubbed his now-red eyes.

  “Oh, Creator! What did I just-?!” I wiped my mouth on my sleeve. “Nyte! I didn’t mean to!”

  “You did not mean to?” Nyte’s mouth took on a hint of snideness. “It appeared as though you very much meant to. It also appeared as though you very much enjoyed it.”

  “NO! Damn it, Ardette! Why did you have to-”

  “If he was the only one at fault, then why did you not pull away?” said Nyte. He buried his face in his hands and groaned a groan of disappointed heartbreak. “I knew! Aura . . . I knew, yet I did not wish to believe. It is him, whom you desire. It has been him all along.”

  “No! That’s not true!”

  “Nyte!” said Darch. “Listen! There’s a very good explanation for this!”

  “There is a good explanation for why my fiancée has just engaged with another man before my eyes? There is not an explanation good enough.”

  Oh, no. Oh, no! Please, don’t say something like that!

  Nyte’s voice was under-toned with a dangerous shaking, but his demeanor was too calm. It was scary. He was on the verge of flipping, and it was all my fault. I hated it. I couldn’t believe I’d just done something like that!

  Keeping that disquieting calmness, Nyte walked past me, grabbed Ardette by the collar, and landed a hard punch at the side of the Daem’s cheek.

  “Are you happy now, lecherous Daem?!” he shouted. “Are you happy that you have-”

  “NYTE!” Darch stretched out his finger at Nyte’s forehead, but Nyte caught his hand.

  “Do not stop me, Magir! At least allow me vengeance!”

  “No!” I yelled. “Nyte, I love YOU! Okay? Please believe me!” I fell to my knees and couldn’t stop the tears. Did I feel guilty? Of course. But more than that, I felt incredible sorrow for causing Nyte such terrible pain. For him to see that . . . it was the worst!

  “Aura?” Nyte looked down at me and winced.

  Voice cracking and tears falling I whispered,

  “I love you, Nyte. I love you more than the western moon. I love you more than the ocean. I love you more than my meadow. I love you more than the stars. You’re my emulator, but even without the pendant, I love you just as much as I always have. It’s you, Nyte. It’s always been you, and it’ll always be you until the end!”

  Nyte dropped Ardette, who hit the ground hard, and lowered himself to my eye level. He put his hands on my shoulders. Even now, he was concerned about how I was feeling.

  “I know,” he said, pain in his forest eyes. “I love you as well, so why . . .?”

  “That’s what I’ve been trying to explain!” said Darch. “LISTEN TO ME!”

  “Darch!” Ardette pushed himself up by right arm and shook his head edgily. He was worried about whatever Darch was about to say. “You can’t. Lest you forget our agree-”

  “Be quiet, Ardetto!” said Darch. He shot Nyte and me a look of sympathy. “I wish . . . No. There are things I can’t tell you guys, but Ardette, if you love her – if you really love her – then you’ll at least tell them enough to make this right. If you can’t at least do that, then you’re just as selfish as everyone thinks you are!”

  Ardette was silent. I was crying inside and out because that devastation hadn’t yet left Nyte’s eyes. I didn’t understand myself. It wasn’t fair that I felt this way! It wasn’t fair that I’d just done that!

  When Ardette finally spoke, his tone was as pained as the look in Nyte’s eyes.

  “Any affections Aura feels for me are simply murmurs leftover from her aler’gim.”

  “My . . . aler . . . gim?”

  Forehead wrinkling, Nyte drew his eyes from mine, but he didn’t remove his hands from my shoulders. “What do you mean her aler’gim?”

  Darch nodded. “Her first life. I know it sounds unbelievable, but I promise, promise, promise that this is true.”

  I wiped my eyes on my sleeve. “But I thought that only Magirs could-”

  “No.” Darch squinted. “Well, yes. But not in your case. Magirs are those granted a second life by the Creator, but in your case, it was something else that granted your second life. The only other thing with the power to do so.�
�

  “What else has the power to do something like that?” asked Nyte. “An angel?”

  “No.” Darch shook his head. “Not an angel. A dragon.”

  Dragon. Chills ran up my arms.

  Nyte eyed Ardette suspiciously. “A dragon?”

  This was it. I was about to find out that the impossible thing I’d been suspecting was true. Ardette was a . . .

  Darch nodded again. “It’s very rare, but under special circumstances, a dragon may grant a person with a second life. In this case, the dragon’s power granted two people a second life. Aura . . . and Ardette.”

  Wait, what?! So Ardette . . .

  “Ardette?” I studied him. “Is that-?”

  “It’s true.” He let out a long surrendering sigh. “As you thought, we did know each other before. In our first life. We knew each other very well, might I add.” Distance crossed his face, and he began to grin knowingly. “In fact, I knew every inch of-”

  “Ardetto!”

  Ardette sighed again. “As I told you before, the closer we’d to Célesteen, the more those deep natures would show themselves. In this plane, as in the plane of the dead, and even within the mist, things become distorted. Without the restrictions of the physical world, our lifetimes can become intertwined.” Growing a slight frown, he looked at Nyte. “Don’t fret your pretty head, Nyte. Sadly, during those moments when she feels true desire for me, she isn’t Aura. Not really. She’s the person from her first life.”

  I swallowed. “Sadly?”

  “Sad because, not only does my first life love your first life, my second also loves your second. Alas, my pit, it is not the same for you. While your first life loves mine, your second is, well, reluctant.”

  “Oh.”

  It wasn’t something I could control, but it still made me guilty.

  “But what can be done?” said Nyte. “Even if it not really her, if her second life and first life are mixing, then what is the difference?”

  “Oh, don’t pout. It isn’t very manly of you if you ask me.” Ardette’s mouth sank into an even deeper frown. “I assure you it’ll all go away once we return to the physical realm – once she fully returns to being Aura. For now, though, her memories will continue to interject themselves and take control of her body. The same will happen for me. I know it isn’t taking the path of the better man, but I can’t help but indulge.” He eyed me up and down. “I’m sure you understand why. Guess I’m a glutton for disappointment.” He added in a sneer, “Or maybe I really am a pervert.”

  This was all so complicated and tragic. If my first life had loved Ardette, shouldn’t my second life have loved him too? So why did I love Nyte? Even beyond the emulator’s spell, why did I still love Nyte? Why did Ardette’s fate have to be so tormented?!

  Poor Ardette. I understood now why he’d told Amano that he was ‘cursed’. I wanted to wrap my arms around him. I wished I could give him what he wanted, but there was no way. It was Nyte that my heart belonged to. My heart was Nyte’s, and it was unbearable knowing that it could never be Ardette’s.

  “You aren’t a pervert,” I whispered.

  “No, I am.” Ardette smirked. “I’ll prove it if you’d like.”

  He was trying to make this all better by acting normal. I’d try to do the same.

  I took a deep breath, choked back those sad, conflicting emotions and did what I did best: asked a question.

  “What were those ‘special circumstances’ you were talking about, Darch?”

  “I don’t know,” said Darch. It wasn’t a lie. “I have a theory, but I can’t voice it, and Ardetto can’t tell you either.”

  “You can’t?”

  Ardette shook his head. “And don’t ask me why. I’m afraid I can’t speak of that either. It’s all part of the deal, I’m afraid.”

  “Deal?”

  He shook his head and tapped his closed lips to indicate that they wouldn’t be opening any time soon. He, too, took in a deep breath. He looked down at Nyte over an upturned nose.

  “Listen, boy,” he said. “I imagine it’s quite hard to see your girl loving another- Oh wait. I know first hand what that’s like. Anyway, try not to let it bother you. You lay claim to Aura, even if her first life belongs to me. I’ve made advances at her enough times as ‘Ardette’ to know that it’ll never happen.”

  Nyte studied him, saw that he was sincere, and nodded. That was the closest thing to an apology Ardette was ever going to give him.

  My Elf’s hands were still on my shoulders. I tipped forward and set my forehead against his chest.

  “Nyte.” My voice was small. “I don’t know what to say. I knew there was something there with him, something different, and I kept it from you. I’m so sorry that I . . .” But I couldn’t say it, so I just finished, “. . . in front of you. I never meant to hurt you.”

  I was sorry to Ardette, too, for so many other things, but that apology would have to wait for another day.

  Nyte put a hand on the top of my head. “Miss Havoc,” he said after a moment, “I always knew that you enjoyed causing torment.” He sounded angry, and for a moment, my stomach dropped, but when I looked up, he was grinning a beautifully mischievous grin. That one grin made everything okay. There was comfort in that grin. I loved that grin.

  That grin fell quickly, though. He next continued, “It was just something shocking to see; that is all. I have been able to read your affections for him growing lately, and it put uncertainty into my heart. I am sorry that I reacted in such a way. I did not know.” He bowed to Ardette. “I apologize that I struck you with my fist.”

  “Yes, well-”

  “However,” – Nyte looked up darkly from the bow –“do not misunderstand. If you ever try that while we are in the physical plane, I will let my blade travel swiftly through you. It is difficult, but I will attempt to be understanding for the time being. That does not give you free reign to have your way with her.”

  “Threatening me, are you? Fantastic. Well, don’t blame me if she starts coming on to me before we return.”

  He didn’t have to sound so hopeful about it.

  “I know what’ll help!” chimed Darch. “Aura, when it’s happened in the past, you’ve found Nyte’s touch to be comforting, right? That’s why you called him over when we were putting Rend to sleep?”

  “Yeah, that’s true. Whenever I touch you, Nyte, it helps me get back to myself.”

  “So, if it starts to happen again, just touch each other! That should help! It’s really very simple, and now that Nyte knows what’s going on, it’ll be even simpler!”

  He did have a point.

  But Nyte shook his head. “I cannot.”

  “What?!” I pushed myself away from him and searched his face. “Why not?!”

  “Because it would be too much of a strain on me to hold you. After all, it is not something I enjoy in the least.”

  I narrowed my eyes at him. “Is that sarcasm I taste?”

  “Come closer to find out.”

  That grin of his was back again, telling that it was going to be all right. It was all right.

  We’d made up. We’d survived the episode. It was all okay now. Somehow, it was all . . . Well, no, it wasn’t actually. There was still too much heaviness to all of this, namely when it came to my relationship with Ardette, but at least this moment was okay for now.

  “Let us practice this ‘holding’, shall we?” Nyte wrapped his arms around me.

  I obliged, but I peeked around his arm at Ardette, who was still sitting on the ground, looking foul.

  I’m sorry, Ardette. I’ll apologize to you properly someday. I’m sorry that it can’t be you.

  I couldn’t tell him that, but he knew anyway. He locked eyes with me, rolled his eyes with good-nature, and shook his head. The gesture almost evoked a fresh wave of tears. I hid my face in Nyte.

  “Sorry,” I mumbled. “Was it repulsive to watch?”

  “It was. You shall just have to make up for it by kissin
g me tenfold.”

  “I’ll start right now.”

  But I wouldn’t really. Not in front of Ardette. I might’ve been cruel, but I wasn’t that cruel.

  ~

  “Walk between us, would you?” Ardette implored Nyte to guard the two of us from each other. Nyte gladly agreed. If the first lives took over, he’d make sure the mistake didn’t happen again.

  The mistake. That’s what I’d been referring to it as. Because of my guilt, yes. But also because the word ‘kiss’ brought about a dangerous longing for a repeat of the forbidden event.

  At least one good thing had come from the ‘event’. Darch’s legs were both ‘good as new’, and he wasted no time in exerting them to full bouncing extent.

  We continued up the coil that way: Darch bouncing, Nyte holding my hand, Ardette walking ahead, blowing on the soundless whistle. The Daem didn’t turn back to look at me at all. Maybe it was getting too difficult for him to suppress the other part. I would’ve had a hard time, too, had it not been for Nyte’s anchoring hand reminding me of who I was every time I started to slip.

  The day didn’t care about any of our struggles, and it continued to pass. Evening came. The stars were no longer only above and below us; they were surrounding us. All around was a blanket of evening blue, dotted with vibrant star-color.

  By the middle of the night, we still hadn’t reached the top of the spiron. It started to feel like we’d never make it. I was at the end of my waning stamina. Nyte had offered to carry me, but he had the barrier spell to maintain, so I trudged, and my strength was almost gone.

  But just when I was about to give up and slump into sleep, we saw it. High above us, resting on the top of the spiron, was a pink thing. A full, pink moon. The western moon. And it wasn’t separated from us by that otherworldly barrier, like it had been in the beyond. I knew because I could feel it now. I could feel its comfort. I could feel its familiarity. It was really here, and it lent me the strength to climb on.

  We kept climbing, and with every step, that comfort continued to grow. I let those pink beams soak into me and light up my skin, ever basking in the corras that flowed into me. The others absorbed the corras too, and as a whole, our speed increased. The moon became bigger and bigger the closer we got, until at long last, we were almost there. I squeezed Nyte’s hand, and he smiled down at me with two eyes that were like moons themselves, reflecting that brilliant pink light.