When I Fall in Love

by Miranda Dickinson

  To Elsie’s surprise, Woody’s ABBA/Deep Purple medley proved very popular indeed, and while Stan and Graeme’s shockingly energetic rendition of the famous “Smoke on the Water” riff was a dubious feature of Woody’s direction, Elsie was pleased to see the choir having so much fun. Kathy and Dee’s vocals were making a real difference in the alto section, boosting the volume, while Juliet’s initially shaky attempts at singing gradually developed into a respectable sound.

  In an effort to provide something for everyone in The Sundaes’ growing musical repertoire, Elsie introduced a couple of older songs – ‘I’ll Walk Beside You’ (after she discovered this was Irene’s favourite song) and ‘What a Wonderful World’ – together with Alicia Keys’ ‘Empire State of Mind Part II’ and Coldplay’s ‘Paradise’. It was wonderful to work at home on choral arrangements using the small Bentley piano that Lucas had bought her for her twenty-first birthday and as she worked she realised how much she had missed playing. After his death, she had always seemed to have a hundred other things to do and was forever conscious of the piano sitting idle in the front room of their house.

  ‘Cool instrument,’ Woody observed, leaning on the side of the piano as Elsie played him her new vocal arrangement of Cee Lo Green’s ‘Forget You’.

  ‘Thanks. It was my twenty-first birthday present.’

  ‘Sweet. You play like a many-fingered enchantress,’ he grinned. ‘Always intended to learn the magic of the keys myself.’

  Elsie stopped playing and scribbled a pencil change on the manuscript paper. ‘It’s never too late to learn, Woody.’

  ‘Nah.’ He flopped down into a nearby armchair. ‘I discovered long ago that the only instrument I was destined to master was this one.’ He patted his throat. ‘Designed by a deity to call the faithful to revere the notes of the Greats. Not that I’m bragging, you understand.’

  Elsie stifled a giggle. ‘Of course not.’

  ‘So what about you? You don’t mind just singing from the piano?’

  It was an odd question. ‘What do you mean?’

  ‘Well, girl, the way you sang the first time I saw you – that’s a gift you have.’

  ‘Actually, I’m enjoying creating the sound of the choir,’ she admitted. ‘I’ve never had superstar ambitions for my singing, you know. I always preferred to be part of something bigger. This suits me fine.’

  Woody nodded slowly. ‘Sweet.’

  She dropped her pencil on the music stand and stretched the stiffness from her arms. ‘So what do you think of The Sundaes’ progress?’

  ‘Not bad. But we’ve got to kick them out of their comfort zones. They’ve never known the fear of setting foot on a stage. How do you think they’re going to kick it when they have to sing for the town?’

  It was a good observation. In a little over six weeks they would stand at Brighton Carnival in front of what could potentially be a couple of hundred people who expected to see a polished performance – an experience that could strike fear into the heart of the most seasoned professional.

  ‘What did you have in mind?’

  Woody fixed her with a determined stare. ‘We go public, babe.’

  CHAPTER TEN

  Feel the fear …

  ‘Where are we going?’

  ‘You’ll see.’ Woody strode ahead of the small band of singers along the promenade towards Brighton Pier.

  ‘I don’t see why we should follow you anywhere, freak.’

  ‘And that, Sasha, is why I am the musical visionary and you are the mindless minion in this scenario.’

  ‘It’s going to be fun,’ Elsie assured the worried choir members as they hurried to keep up with Woody’s long, cowboy-booted strides. ‘Trust us.’

  ‘Yeah, Sasha, live dangerously for once,’ Danny grinned as he passed his furious choirmate.

  It was ten-thirty-five a.m. on the dull Saturday morning following Elsie and Woody’s conversation and their plan was taking shape. Woody made a sharp left-hand turn onto the pier and the others followed. He carried a small, battery-powered karaoke machine under one arm and Elsie had a camcorder hidden in her bag. Just the other side of the amusement dome, Woody raised his hand, Moses-like, for the choir to halt.

  ‘This is the place.’

  Stan and Graeme – who had struck up such a firm friendship that they had earned the nickname ‘Tweedledum and Tweedledee’ from the rest of the choir – exchanged identical confused expressions.

  ‘Why? What for?’ Graeme asked, staring warily at the doughnut stand beside him.

  ‘Nothing,’ Woody replied, adding with a wink, ‘yet.’

  Recognising growing fear within the members of the choir, Elsie took the initiative. ‘We’re here because we want to try something. Now don’t worry, it’s going to be fun, but you have to trust us, OK?’

  Sasha snorted. ‘Trust him? You must be joking …’

  ‘Philistine!’

  Elsie glared at them both. ‘Woody, Sasha, if you don’t mind …? Thank you. What’s going to happen is this: I’m daring you to sing. Now. Right here. In fact, I’m double-daring you,’ she looked over at Daisy and they shared a smile, ‘which in my family means a fait accompli.’

  ‘Come again?’ Lewis, the lanky seventeen-year-old, asked, bemused.

  ‘It means you have to do it, loser.’

  ‘Sasha …’

  Sasha raised her hands. ‘What? I’m just saying …’

  Aoife turned to Danny. ‘I’m not doing this.’

  ‘It’ll be fine, hun.’ He put his arm around her as Kathy and Dee smiled nervously in a vain attempt at reassurance.

  ‘What do you want us to sing?’ Juliet asked. ‘We haven’t warmed up, or prepared anything.’

  ‘I thought we could do “What a Wonderful World”,’ Elsie replied. ‘You all know that one and you sang it brilliantly on Wednesday night. I know we’ve sprung this on you. But when we sing at the Carnival, there will be a lot more people than this watching us. Now I believe we can do this – who’s with me?’

  There was a decidedly uncertain murmur of agreement and Woody arranged The Sundaes into their choir formation before hitting the Play button on the Barbie-pink karaoke machine. The slightly shaky recording Woody had made of Elsie’s piano accompaniment began to play and a man walking his excitable springer spaniel stopped to watch. Elsie stood facing The Sundaes and raised both hands to count them in.

  For all her previous complaining, Sasha appeared pacified enough to sing her first verse solo, her voice gaining in confidence with each line. Behind her, the assembled choir swapped worried glances, entering the song with tentative ‘oohs’ midway through the first verse. A few more onlookers gathered, watching the strange spectacle playing out halfway along Brighton Pier with amused smiles.

  Elsie’s face was beginning to ache from the encouraging smile she wore, but she pressed on regardless. Come on, she urged them silently, just sing! Woody stood to one side, shoulder to shoulder with Danny and Lewis, his ‘oohs’ considerably louder than theirs, closing his eyes for greater effect. Irene watched Elsie’s every direction like a beady-eyed hawk, although Elsie couldn’t tell from the tiny movements of her mouth whether any sound was coming out or not. The second verse arrived and The Sundaes began to sing along with Sasha. At last, the volume was increasing – and Elsie’s spirits lifted when she heard it. It was far from perfect: recent recruit, Sheila (a dental nurse in her forties), Juliet the retired headmistress and Graeme the butcher all sang noticeably sharp; Danny often forgot the lyrics as his attention wavered; Sasha’s harmony lines were so loud that the melody was lost; and all of the singers dropped off into embarrassed mumblings at the end of each line. But it was a performance – and it represented a major step forward for The Sundaes.

  The end of the song met with brief, polite applause from the makeshift audience before the spectators dispersed, leaving The Sundaes elated and congratulating each other.

  Elsie flushed with pride at the sight of her choir, laughing and revellin
g in their recent shared experience. A bittersweet flicker of pain hurt her when Danny drew Aoife into an elongated embrace and she looked away to see her sister’s smiling face.

  ‘It’s happening, Elsie. You did this!’

  Elsie closed her eyes as Daisy’s arms encircled her. ‘It’s wonderful.’

  ‘I think we deserve a reward for that,’ Stan said. ‘Who votes we head to Sundae & Cher for ice cream?’

  ‘Reward,’ Woody scoffed. ‘Your reward is the opportunity to fulfil your destiny. Van Gogh didn’t demand ice cream. Jim Morrison never wailed for a choc ice at Woodstock.’

  Laughing at Woody, the choir headed off towards their reward, while Daisy and Elsie hung back a little. ‘Lucas would be so proud of you, sis.’

  ‘You think so?’

  ‘I know so. And he would have adored Woody.’

  Elsie smiled. ‘I know. I think it’s a blessing the pair of them never met. I’m doing the right thing, aren’t I?’

  Daisy understood the deeper significance of the question. ‘Yes, you are. With the choir and with Olly.’

  An hour later, when the still-buzzing choir members had finally gone their separate ways, Elsie pushed open the door of Brighton Home Stores and smiled when Jim rushed up to greet her.

  ‘Hi, Dad.’

  ‘It’s so good to see you! To what do I owe this honour?’

  Elsie explained about the choir’s challenge, the details of which Jim lapped up with attentive delight.

  ‘I’ll bet their faces were a picture when you sprang that on them!’

  ‘Some of them took a bit of persuading, yes.’

  Jim shook his head. ‘My little Elsie, the strict choirmistress. I don’t think I could have predicted that.’

  ‘Actually, I’m the “good cop” in the outfit. If they start causing trouble I unleash the full force of Woody Jensen on them.’

  They sat down on a red leather corner sofa and Elsie noticed how tired her father looked today. A few months before Lucas was diagnosed with cancer, Jim had endured a health scare of his own. He had collapsed at work complaining of chest pains and was rushed to A&E, his daughters fearing the worst. For a scary twenty-four hours, Elsie and her sisters waited for news as countless tests were performed. Eventually, it transpired that, rather than the heart attack his symptoms had suggested, Jim had suffered an infection of the fluid around his heart. A week later, the family returned home, celebrating Jim’s escape from serious illness – little knowing that within weeks they would be facing the worst possible news about another of their own.

  While Jim made a full recovery, the virus had left its mark on his body and now, if he grew overtired, under the weather or overworked, dark circles would appear beneath his eyes to betray him.

  ‘Have you been working late again?’ Elsie asked him. ‘You look exhausted.’

  ‘I had a meeting last night that overran. Olly and I had to go through the website with a fine-toothed comb to iron out some technical issues.’ He paused, his eyes full of concern. ‘Have you spoken to him lately?’

  Olly. It had now been over two weeks since she had last seen him – a fact that sat uncomfortably within her. While it had in one sense been easier to throw herself into the choir, she had missed his company and had caught herself several times in recent days wondering how he was. But each time she had attempted to call him, nerves had inexplicably held her back. Would she seem too eager? What was the correct amount of time you were supposed to wait before calling anyway?

  ‘I’ve just been so busy,’ she said, hating the way her words appeared, like a blasé excuse thrown out to protect herself.

  ‘He asked after you.’ Jim’s personal opinion was as visible as the bright red leather on which they were sitting. ‘I think he’d appreciate a call.’

  ‘Dad …’

  He held up his hands. ‘I’m just saying, it could be good for you both. I thought you were getting along so well.’

  ‘We were – we are, Dad. It still feels strange to be thinking of another man instead of Lucas. I know this is what he wanted and I’m trying but something keeps holding me back.’

  Jim stroked her face. ‘My darling, darling girl. Of course you’ll feel strange, but this is a whole new chapter of your life that you’re embarking on. Any kind of change naturally brings its own fears and trepidation.’ He was silent for a moment, his thoughts moving to another place in time. ‘When your mother left …’ he faltered and instinctively Elsie squeezed his hand. Nodding, he cleared his throat and continued. ‘When she left, I felt as if the rug had been snatched from beneath my feet. Even though I knew it was coming, even though I had long suspected it and understood that it was the inevitable conclusion of all our fighting, I still felt robbed of the decision. But while I knew there was no hope of her ever coming back, I still struggled when I tried to get on with my own life. It’s taken all these years for me to finally feel ready to pursue a relationship again.’ He smiled. ‘And I know my forays into internet dating have been a source of horror and amusement for you girls, but for me it’s my first step. Just like you’re making. Oliver is a wonderful young man, and I think it could be good for you to be looked after for a while. You’ve spent so long coping, being the one in charge. And that’s admirable, but, darling, it’s fine to need somebody else. You like Olly, don’t you?’

  Elsie nodded.

  ‘Then tell the boy, Elsie. He deserves to know.’

  He was right, of course he was. She knew she was thinking about this too much – like Daisy had said. But there still remained a concern that she wasn’t sure she was able to express. Lucas was a tough act to follow. And he had been so adamant that she would find someone else that she felt she should take extra time to make sure whoever that was would be worthy. Of course, Lucas had known this would be the case …

  ‘You will find someone else,’ he had said to her, a month before he died. ‘No, don’t argue, I know you will. But I also know that it’s going to take someone pretty special to win you.’

  ‘Lucas, let’s not talk about this now,’ she had begged him, the subject both inappropriate and abhorrent to her as the precious days left with her husband slipped away.

  He was unrepentant, digging his heels in as he’d always done. Stubborn, single-minded, beautiful man … ‘I know you. You won’t settle for anything but the best. When you fall in love again …’

  Her hand had silenced him as it rested on his lips. ‘I’m in love. With you. And that’s all that matters.’

  He had dropped the subject on that occasion, but weeks later it emerged again.

  ‘There will be someone after me. I know you don’t want to hear it, but I need to say it, and I’m the dying one so I get the casting vote. You’re too amazing to keep all of your potential locked away in some misguided attempt at remembering me. I don’t want that kind of memorial, Elsie. And you know full well that if the tables were turned, you’d be saying exactly the same to me. The next guy is going to have a battle on his hands because I know you’ll need him to be your equal, and not many blokes are capable of that. Just promise me that when opportunity arrives and the time is right, you won’t hold back?’

  ‘I’ll call him,’ Elsie assured Jim. ‘I promise.’

  I love you because you never give up, no matter what.

  xx

  The latest message from the silk-covered box made Elsie smile as she prepared the interior of Sundae & Cher for the next choir rehearsal, the following Wednesday. Right now when it came to the choir, it was easy not to give up: despite the occasional rumblings between Woody and Sasha (and Sasha in general), Elsie could see the choir becoming something worth belonging to. It felt good to have been part of it from the very beginning and as Elsie set out the chairs, picturing each of The Sundaes as she did so, she realised how much she needed to feel this way. Before Lucas died it was her relationship with him that gave her a sense of belonging – a shared experience where both of them had begun in the same place. After his death, much of Els
ie’s life felt as if she had entered conversations midway, being at a disadvantage from the others who had been there from the beginning. Of course, she belonged to her family; the Maynard family unit was as tight and secure as it was possible to be. But while she and Lucas had built a life together, a certain amount of her family’s life had carried on without her, leaving her with the smallest inkling that she had somehow missed important happenings – special conversations, landmark events like new jobs, wedding plans and house-hunting – that Jim, Daisy and Guin had shared.

  Her impulse to begin something new – fuelled by the first message from Lucas – had been correct, she now realised. More than simply a new way to meet people, the choir was becoming a vital tool for reconnecting her to a sense of community. She wondered if this were true for Woody, Sasha, Danny and the others. Was the choir filling a gap in their lives?

  Reaction from the pier performance was still percolating through The Sundaes when they arrived. Woody took charge of the first song of the night, blessing the assembled singers with a lengthy dose of his rock ’n’ roll wisdom before they sang. When, after ten minutes, Daisy politely suggested that perhaps the best way to impart his knowledge to his ‘musical faithful’ was through practice rather than words, he grudgingly conceded – the sigh of relief amongst the choir was audible at the other end of the room where Elsie was making last-minute changes to another vocal arrangement.

  ‘I’ve noticed something about Irene,’ Daisy said, joining Elsie when Woody and the choir were safely singing.

  ‘What about her?’

  ‘I’ve watched her at rehearsal over the past three weeks. Do you realise she’s managed to chat with everyone individually during that time? Every time you look over at her she’s deep in conversation with someone else. I think it’s great – especially that she feels comfortable enough here to do it.’

  ‘She has a real insight with people,’ Elsie agreed. ‘She said something to me recently about us both having lost someone we loved. Nobody told her about Lucas – she just saw it in me, I suppose. And Danny mentioned he’d been telling her about his plans to propose to Aoife. Even Sasha was talking with her after the pier performance on Saturday.’